Whenever I hang out with my best friend, I become really self-conscious and my self-esteem plummets. My friend is skinny; she has a perfect body; she's pretty; and guys love her...but I'm a little "chubby." Whenever we hang out at my house, she always gets online and talks to a lot of guys. She also gets on my webcam, and the guys inevitably say how hot she is. Most of the time I don't even want to show myself to them because I'm ugly and fat compared to her. How can I stop worrying about how I look or how my body is when I'm around her?
Well fist of all, neither you OR your friend should be on a webcam because there are a lot of pervs on there. Anyway, I'm skinny, and trust me, it's not all that fun. My friends ALWAYS compliment me to the point where it's embarrassing. I can never find jeans that fit me, and sometimes guys catcall me. What I'm trying to say is: even if your friend seems to enjoy all the attention, she probably doesn't. Be proud of who you are! --Posted by dArKfAeRiE12 10:30AM EST 03/30/04
Well, there are a few solutions to this problem. Does she pick on you for allegedly not being as "hot" as her, or is it just your opinion? If she makes you feel bad by things she says or does, it's time to back off. But if that's the way you feel, and being around her only makes your self-esteem worse, that's something you'll have to take care of on your own. If she's a good friend, she'll help you out. I also highly recommend reading gURL's "The Looks Book." It really changed the way I felt about my body, being a curvy girl myself. Good luck? --Posted by pirategroupie 10:30AM EST 03/30/04
Well this is probably so much easier said than done...but why don't you try talking to your friend about how you feel. I was in the exact same situation, except I was the "best friend" and my friend was the one who thought I was so much prettier and "hotter" than she was. I totally had NO clue she felt as bad as she did...but one day she made up her mind to tell me her feelings about herself when she was around me. That day (her b-day) I gave her (even though she was already so pretty but just didn't know it) a TOTAL makeover, hair, make-up, nails, the works! She had a great time and guess who got the guys that night? Her confidence was shining and she was like a guy magnet! What I'm trying to say is tell your friend how you feel. --Posted by starz1013 10:30AM EST 03/30/04
Hi, just wanted to say, I know how you feel, and I think that most girls out there do, too. No matter HOW pretty or skinny a girl is there will always be a person who she thinks is "prettier" than her. The truth is that your popular, skinny friend probably doesn't view herself like you do. It is likely that she envies a trait that you possess (e.g., kindness, ability to relate to people, etc.) Also, maybe it would help if you were to just talk to her. Mention to her that when she goes on your webcam in front of you it makes you uncomfortable. If she is a really good friend, I'm sure she'll understand. Hope everything works out with you two! --Posted by marachinocherry 10:30AM EST 03/30/04
I used to have the exact same problem. But I realized that the problem wasn't really her, it was me. You need to forget about comparing yourself to her and try to improve your self-esteem. I find that just imagining you're really confident actually works. Just walk along, thinking, "Yeah, I'm hot!" and when you talk to people, don't think "they think I'm so fat/ugly/whatever," just think, "they're talking to me because they want to, and because I'm a nice person, and I'm gorgeous!" It really does work. And if you ever feel bad around her, think of all the stuff about you that's unique that she doesn't have. --Posted by senorita231 10:30AM EST 03/30/04
I have a friend exactly like this. I know it's hard (I still struggle with it) but you have to ask yourself a hard question. If she is your true friend, why is she sitting online and talking to guys while she is at YOUR house? Why is she on the webcam when she is there to hang with you? Not only is this rude as a guest, but chances are, she knows it's making you jealous. Why would she do this, do you ask? Maybe you can't see it, but she probably knows she has this one thing over you and is trying to use it because she is threatened by you in some other way. --Posted by Mimi12355 10:30AM EST 03/30/04
You must be a gURL member to post. Not a gURL member? Join now! (It's free!)
