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  you are here  >>> FIND OUT > help me heather > family  
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  Dear Heather,

My mum keeps hitting me. Last year she made my nose bleed. I know that women get cranky sometimes, but that doesn't give her a right to do it. She slaps me for the slightest thing--a look, a blink. Anything.

I haven't told anyone. I really want to, but I just don't know how it would all turn out.

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Hi.

I can understand why your situation is so difficult. First, there is the physical pain of being hit, and then there is the psychological pain and feeling of betrayal that comes from being hurt by someone who is supposed to protect you.

Just know that the situation is not hopeless, and that it's not your fault. Many parents strike out when they are stressed out, angry or frustrated because their parents did the same thing. This is the behavior they learned early, and they have never stopped to question their actions.

Right now, you may be hesitant to tell anyone about your mother's behavior because you may feel guilty or worried that she might go to jail. You may also fear that you might be removed from your home; however, each situation is dealt with on a case-by-case basis to determine the severity of the abuse and the risk of harm to the minor.

Many child welfare agencies first assess whether the parent might benefit from relearning parenting skills--being taught new ways of dealing with their children when stressed or angry. Children and adolescents are usually not taken out of the family unit unless it's not safe for the child to remain in the home.

Talk to your school counselor if you are worried you will face even greater violence from your mother if you report the abuse. Her or his first priority would be to ensure that you do not face further harm.

For more support, you can always visit our crisis center message boards, in particular the abuse support board. You might find other girls going through some of the same issues.

Take care.

 
   
 
 

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