Hi.
I'm glad you wrote in. It certainly sounds as though you have what is called "social anxiety disorder" (or a social phobia), a condition in which people feel overwhelming anxiety and self-consciousness in everyday social situations. These people feel--as you do--that others are constantly judging them when they are in public and they are afraid to "fail" in front of others. Most who suffer from social anxiety know that their perception about being constantly watched is irrational, but feel hounded by these thoughts anyway. They just can't shake their fear.
But there is hope. Psychologist Sharon Budd says that phobias such as social anxiety disorder usually respond quite well to therapy and certain anti-anxiety medications.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been proven the most effective type for eliciting long-term change in patients with anxiety disorders. This mode, in which patients are urged to examine their thought patterns and behaviors, aims to break the cycle of negative thoughts that can cause a downward spiral into hopelessness and depression.
Certain anti-anxiety medications or antidepressants have also been shown to help with this social anxiety disorder. However, studies have shown that the treatment of social anxiety with medication alone works only temporarily. A combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy and medication is usually warranted.
Dr. Budd says that stress management techniques and meditation often enhance the effect of the other therapies in treating anxiety disorders.
The first step would be to talk to your parents about seeing a medical doctor--your family physician or a psychiatrist--who will be able to perform a thorough evaluation. The next step would be to find a mental health professional used to treating social phobias and anxiety disorders--one that practices cognitive-behavioral therapy would be best. Your doctor and your therapist can recommend where to go from there, once they understand your particular situation.
All the best,
