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  Dear Heather,

My mom won't give me the talk and I'm 15. I am getting really interested in sex now. I mean, me and my boyfriend touch (nothing really serious), but I feel I deserve to get the talk and the pill just to be safe. I don't know how to confront her about this because she is Christian and believes in the tradition of no sex before marriage. I hate to have to learn on my own when she can just tell me what to expect. I feel lost on the whole situation and I need some help.

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Hi.

It's completely normal to feel confused when trying to decide whether to have sex for the first time. It's too bad that your mother hasn't braved The Talk, yet, but you might be surprised at her reaction if you just sit down and speak with her calmly.

Preface the conversation by letting her know that you respect her and her opinion, and that you would like to benefit from her knowledge and experience. Tell her that you are facing what every teenager faces eventually and that you want to be responsible in your actions. She may actually find it a relief that you would confide in her and trust her enough to let her into your life in this way. After all, an honest talk would be a whole lot better than having your mother find out about your interest in sex "by accident."

Only you can decide whether to broach the subject with your mother, but if you do have the talk and she freaks out, don't let it discourage you from finding out information on your own. You can always check out gURL's Deal with it! section. Also, your school counselor may have pre-prepared information packets for teens that are facing decisions about having sex and will be able to answer questions. Or you could call, visit, or go to the website of a family planning clinic like Planned Parenthood.

Good luck.

 
   
 
 

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