Many more people are dating outside their race these days--especially teens--but parents, who grew up at a time when people were less accepting often have trouble with the idea of their child dating someone of another race.

I wonder what makes you think that your parents would disapprove. Have they made comments about other interracial couples? Have they explicitly forbidden you from dating someone of another race? If they have, weigh your options. Clearly, hiding the relationship no longer feels like an acceptable one for you. There are several good reasons to tell your parents. First, if they found out from someone else or ran into you two together at the mall, they may lose trust in you. Second, how you treat the relationship may partially color the way your parents see the it and the way the guy you're dating sees you; your secrecy may give your parents (and your date) the impression that you think there is something "wrong" the relationship, too.

If you decide to tell your parents, you might try simply stating that you've met a guy you like, rather than making a big deal about his race and asking them whether you can date him. Tell them a few things you like about him. Don't hide his race, but let it come up naturally in the conversation. When it does, you can gage by their reaction where to go from there. Diplomacy will be key in dealing with them, though.

Are they concerned, but not forbidding? If so, answer any objections in a calm and honest way, and try to avoid locking horns with them. If necessary, respectfully let them know your position on interracial dating--that you don't believe it's wrong, but that you realize that they may have concerns. Listen to what they saying. If they feel heard, they may listen more carefully to you.

If you sense that it would be okay, you might want to introduce your new guy to them. Seeing him as an individual and not a faceless stereotype may help calm some of your parent's fears. But plan the meeting so that you're are not all stuck together for hours and hours. That would be stressful for everyone. Arrange a brief get together, and then if that goes well, you can think about occasionally spending more time as a couple with your parents. If they agree to let you see how the situation goes, keep their trust by not breaking the rules they have set for you--keeping your curfew, for example.

If they say, "No way," then you must think about the consequences of disobeying them. If the consequences are too great, it is unfortunate, but you may have to wait until you have moved away to college or are out on your own before you can truly have the freedom to pursue such a relationship.

Good luck.