| join now | shop | freebies & contests | help
     gURL.com  the Web    web search powered by Yahoo!


SHOUT OUT BOARDS

YOUR ROOM


HELP ME HEATHER

SEX ED BLOG



gURL GAMES

QUIZZES



COMIX

PHOTOS



POLLS

VIDEO



BODY IMAGE

SEX

  you are here  >>> FIND OUT > help me heather > friends  
 


 
  Dear Heather,

My friend is sooo clingy and I was wondering if I could do anything about it without being too mean? She looks for me everywhere and waits in the hall for me. I don't want to be mean because she is very sensitive. How can I be subtle while still getting my point across?

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

 
 
 
Hi.

I applaud you for taking care not to hurt your friend's feelings, even though you are quite frustrated with the situation.

I wonder why she is so focused on you. She may be a shy person who has trouble making friends. If so, you might try encouraging her to hang out with other people by introducing her to some of your acquaintances. Invite her to parties and guide her toward people with common interests. If she resists, tell her, "Meeting new people is GOOD for you! There are so many cool people here." Encourage her to join a club that she might enjoy.

If this doesn't work (or even if it does) you might just want to bite the bullet and approach it directly. I would recommend doing it when you are not feeling particularly frustrated, though. Like you said, you don't want to be mean. Start out by saying something positive like, "I'm concerned about you because I notice you don't hang out with many people--just me. You're such a great person and I wonder why that is..." This might get the conversation flowing in the right direction.

Another thought is that your friend might have a crush on you. There are all kinds of crushes--some have been called "girl-crushes," indicating a platonic fascination and admiration. Others are straight-out crushes with romantic overtones. If you sense that this is the case and you are uncomfortable with the idea, that may be more difficult to discuss. Again, I would suggest that you bring up the topic when you're fairly calm and always lead with the positive.

Good luck!

 
   
 
 

more friends

select another topic:

 
 
 

email this feature to a friend:
IM this feature to a friend (AIM only):
tell us what you think of this feature.

  CONNECT EXPLORE gURL.com BY TOPIC ABOUT gURL  
 
shout out boards
gURL newsletter


being yourself
beliefs
body image
brainylicious
dating
d.i.y.
fashion & style
friends & family
health
music, movies & media
school & careers
sex
sports
sucky emotions

contact us
what is gURL?
advertise on gURL
privacy policy
terms of service
help

 
  ADVERTISEMENT

   
   Also... Get your horoscope mailed to you every day!
   Sign up for gURL and Astrology.com's daily newsletter.

 

© iVillage Inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.