Lately I have been terrified of death! I mean, like crying scared. Plus, it all came out of nowhere. I remember when I was little the same thing happened only because my dad had died, but I really hate this feeling. It's like there is no point in living if you're just going to die. Plus, I believe in God, but sometimes I'm just not sure. I don't know what to do and I know that one of these days I'm going to have to face that I am going to die and that there might not be anything else after we died. And even if we do live forever, forever is a long time. So any advice you can give, I will be happy to hear.
Hi.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through such a tough time. I wonder if something specific has happened lately to make you so hyper-aware of death. Has the anniversary of your dad's death just passed? Or do you think it has more to do with the general climate of the world these days? Sometimes situations feeling a lack of control can be enough to trigger this anxiety--pondering the loss of life in Iraq or thinking about the potential for terrorist attacks, for example. Whatever the reason, it sounds as though this anxiety is creating a big disturbance in your life.
It seems that your wavering belief in an afterlife may be exacerbating your anxiety. I want to reassure you that it is not unusual for people your age (or any age) to examine their relationship to or belief in God and an afterlife or to question the nature of existence itself. This kind of thinking is normal and it is an important part of forming your own belief system. But it can be stressful if what you figure out with "reason" is as odds with what your family and society has taught you.
Hang in there.
Most people go through this, at times uncomfortable, process unscathed, but if this deep anxiety continues for a period longer than a few weeks or if you feel as though these fears are interfering with your ability to concentrate in school or to take pleasure in your normal, everyday activities, I would urge you to speak to your family about getting support from a therapist or counselor. A school counselor would be able to provide short-term support and would also be able to refer you to others who can help.