I've had sex with my boyfriend and, when it happened, I was ready and everything. I wanted to as much as he did. However, he is 22 years old and I am 16. My mom said she's going to call the cops on him. What can I tell the cops so they don't do anything to him?
Hi.
I understand that you feel you have made the decision that was "right" for you at the time, but the reality is that having sex with a person who is below the age of consent, sometimes called "statutory rape," is against the law. The legal "age of consent" varies from state to state, but in most states, that age is 18. The law generally does not take into account the emotional maturity of the minor, whether the minor has "consented" to the sex, whether the minor encouraged the sex, or even whether the minor lied about his or her age before engaging in sex.
Statutory rape laws are somewhat controversial because the ability to "consent" varies from person to person. Clearly, a six year-old is incapable of "consenting" to sex with an adult. But what about people closer in age? The situation in which an 18 year-old engages in sex with his 16-year-old girlfriend seems like more of a gray area for many people. Some states take into account smaller differences in age when deciding whether to prosecute, but look less favorably on situations in which the differences in age are greater. If you'd like more information on legal requirements around consent in various states, you may want to visit www.sexlaws.org.
But back to the situation at hand. If you have reasoned with your mother and explained your situation, there is probably nothing you can do to dissuade her from calling the police. You may need to table the relationship for now, in order to prevent your boyfriend from being prosecuted. It's possible that he may be prosecuted anyway, since it is acknowledged that you two have indeed had sex.
Good luck. Hope you can resolve the situation in a way that's best for everyone involved.
