According to adolescent psychologist Dr. Sharon Budd, there are many signs of abusive relationships, whether the abuse is emotional/verbal or physical. Emotional abuse might include humiliating, threatening, or putting your friend down. It can include being overly possessive of her or engaging in "emotional blackmail" to convince her to have sex. Physical abuse can start with teasing but may progress to hitting, hair pulling, and pushing. And you are right. Physical and/or emotional abuse may also lead to sexual violence--forced sex or not listening to requests to slow down or stop during sex.

If you see any of these behaviors on the part of your friend's boyfriend, please suggest that your friend seek help from a trusted adult--a school counselor, for example. In addition, you may provide support by sharing your concerns in a gentle way and listening without judgment. Your friend will need help to develop a plan for dealing with the relationship--whether it's not allowing the abusive behavior, getting help, or leaving the relationship altogether.

You might both want to check out our section on abusive relationships. It provides helpful links to other resources.