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  Dear Heather,

I got this boyfriend for 2 & a half years already and in that span of time I've given him some expensive Oakley shades, top of the line Adidas shoes, a Nokia 6150 phone, two hats, huggy bears, a basketball jersey.... the works!!!! I've done some of his homework, pampered him and all!!! I feel that I've spoiled him and I expect to be treated the same!!! His family is in kind of a tight budget so I forgive him for that..... but I expect that he'd be oh so nice and super sweet to me.... and he's all that but not as I expected him to be!!!! What am I supposed to do? Feel? Think??????

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Hi.

I can't tell you what to think or feel because that's a personal reaction and totally up to you. Are you angry? Upset? Confused? Feeling taken advantage of? Happy? Only you can figure it out.

What is your boyfriend's response after you have given him all these gifts? Does he seem thankful and say "thank you!"--or does he seem uncomfortable or unappreciative? If he is uncomfortable, you might want to talk to him about how he feels when you give him gifts--maybe he feels bad about not being able to spend a lot of money on you. If he is unappreciative, definitely talk to him about his response. Maybe he has come to expect expensive gifts from you and doesn't feel like it's a big deal when you give him something new.

Also, why would you do his homework for him? That's hardly a gift to show him how you feel! He should do his own homework.

Consider why you like to give so many gifts. It's great to be a giving person, and some people get a lot of joy out of giving presents. But it sounds like maybe you are expecting something in exchange for your gifts. If that's the case, figure out what that is and why you want it. Shouldn't your boyfriend be super-sweet to you just because you are his girlfriend and he appreciates you for you? If he isn't, it may be time to consider whether you are getting what you want and need out of this relationship.



 
 
Take care,
heather

 
 
 

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