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  Dear Heather,

This past week was my school's spring break, as well as a bunch of my friends' from other schools. Well, my boyfriend went to Italy and I stayed home. Over the past week I have had a taste of my old social life, what things used to be like before I got together with my boyfriend of five months. I care for him sooo much but I feel kinda held back because I was able to go out with other friends that I hadn't seen in a while, and had a great time. I guess the matter is I just miss being single. However, I don't want to end it with him. HELP!!

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Hi.

Independence can be very liberating, and it's a great feeling to be able to do exactly what you want without having to check with anyone else. At the same time, it's understandable that--if you have a good relationship with your boyfriend--you care for him and enjoy spending time with him.

Maybe you can combine both situations. You could try to talk to your boyfriend and let him know that you miss your old friends and would like to stay in touch with them more. He may be open to having some more time to himself as well. He went to Italy on his own, right? He might be open to spending some time apart--but still continuing to see each other.

You may find you want to introduce your boyfriend to your old friends and include him when you go out with them, sometimes. Meeting them--and/or meeting some of his friends--may add a new dimension to those friendships.

Another possibility is that maybe you have outgrown the relationship, even though you still care about your boyfriend as a person. If you find that you would prefer to be on your own and not tied to any one relationship, you may be able to end the romantic relationship with your boyfriend but still try to be friends, if that is what you want to do.

Keep in mind that it's a good idea to think about the likely outcomes of decisions like this ahead of time, and to make sure you are comfortable with them--whether you decide to break up, stay together, or modify the relationship in some way.



 
 
Take care,
heather

 
 
 

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