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  Dear Heather,

I know someone that is bisexual and she has to dress in the locker room with us and I feel uncomfortable. What should I do?

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Hi.

Locker rooms can be uncomfortable alright; most people are at least a little bit self-conscious of their bodies, and getting dressed in a room full of other people is bound to bring up privacy, body image and even sexual issues.

Have you figured out exactly what it is that makes you nervous in this case? Are you afraid of being looked at sexually or do you think she might actually try and come on to you?

You probably don't need to worry about either. Chances are this girl has no more interest in invading other people's privacy in the locker room than you do. Just because she may date girls as well as boys doesn't mean she's any more aggressive or inconsiderate than her straight classmates.

In fact, it's possible that she's extra careful about keeping to herself in that locker room; if she happens to be "out" about her sexuality, she could feel a little watched herself. You're not the only one on the alert about bi or gay girls in the locker room--and it's pretty hard for them to ignore that kind of attention.

Of course, if she were to come on to you in some obvious way, the same rules would apply in the locker room as outside of it: You would probably just tell her you're not interested, the same as you would a boy you didn't want to date.

My advice is to try not to think too much about this girl being different from you and just focus on what you're doing. You'll probably feel better about the whole thing if you can simply relax about it.



 
 
Take care,
heather

 
 
 

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