It sounds like you've changed your thinking about drugs and are feeling a little worried about what that means, for both you and your friendship with Kathy.

It's not that surprising that you want to try pot again--especially with someone telling you the second time could be better. But if you're confused about the changes you're going through, it might be a good time to stop and think about what's happening.

You might ask yourself, for example, if there's anything new (or not new) that's bothering you enough to give you this feeling of wanting to "screw it all." What about Kathy? Are you interested in finding out from her exactly what she was upset about? How much does her disapproval matter to you?

The problem with drugs is not just that they are illegal but also that people rely on them to relieve stress--to "escape," as you put it--without considering the risks and sometimes instead of developing other more healthy ways to relieve stress. I suggest you get the facts about what drugs do and check out these resources if you have questions.

Talking about this with other people--including, maybe, Kathy--could give you a broader perspective too.