A virgin is a person--male or female--who has never had sexual intercourse (the insertion of the penis into the vagina). However, sexual intercourse is only one part of sexual intimacy--though it is a huge, loaded part.
Virgin or not, the real issue is to be comfortable with your decision every time you participate in sexual intimacy, whether you are deciding to make out, give or receive oral sex, have intercourse, or anything else. Each experience is a new choice, and your actions always deserve thought and attention.
Everybody starts experimenting sexually at different ages and at different rates. Nobody should do anything they aren't comfortable with or feel ready to do. Don't have sex unless you know for sure that you want to. And when you do it, do it safely!
There is a thin membrane of tissue across the vaginal opening called the hymen. Historically, it was believed that the hymen was a sign of sexual purity that was "broken" the first time a female had intercourse. Nowadays, it's recognized that hymens come in all shapes and sizes, and that they can break and bleed due to playing sports, a pelvic exam, or by using tampons. The condition of a hymen does not "prove" virginity.
A 2000 survey of 510 teens, taken by the Kaiser Family Foundation and Seventeen magazine, determined:
*89 percent of girls aged 12-17 said they felt a lot of or some pressure about sex and relationships.
*37 percent of all 15-17-year-olds had had sexual intercourse.
*The top three reasons given by 15-17-year-olds who had not yet had sex were: being worried about pregnancy, making a conscious decision to wait and being worried about sexually transmitted diseases.
A 1998 study by Kaiser and YM magazine of 650 13-18-year-olds found that among those who were sexually experienced, the average age of first sexual intercourse was 15. Nearly half said they were pressured before they were ready.
Virginity has many social and cultural implications, but in the end, it means something different and personal to each person in a given situation. It's a good idea to think about what "losing your virginity" means to you, and to try to understand what you want. If you are clear about this with yourself, it will be much easier to be clear with anyone else.
