Q:Do people choose to be trans?A:
All the current research appears to say no. Gender identity is just one piece of each individual's unique make-up, like eye color and height.
For many people, their genitals at birth match their own feelings of being female or male. For others, these things don't match. And for some it's a lot more complicated. If you think of all the so-called "normal" gendered people you know, do you (and they) feel that they've "chosen" to be that way? Think about it--did you get to choose your sex at birth?
The choice is not whether to be your gender or not--but how to be who you are.
There are some other things we do know.
One can't be "cured" of being trans by doctors or counselors.
Professionals can talk through things you may face as trans to make you feel more comfortable. They can also discuss your options if you'd like to take steps to bring your body more into alignment with your gender identity. But there's not a treatment or pill that will actually change your gender identity.
"Pretending" to be a different gender might be interesting (maybe even entertaining!) but it can't change one's gender identity, that is, one's core sense of who they are as a person.
- when and whether to come out as trans,
- to pass or not to pass in public as their gender identity,
- the dreaded restroom questions (which one do you use?),
- how to be their best self,
- and how to live life!
A book that can be helpful--and really fun!--for anyone who wants to better understand their own sense of gender is called, "My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely" by Kate Bornstein.
