Q:I like some things about being female, and some things about being male. So, is this normal?A:
Yes! Many people like some things that are typically "masculine" and "feminine."
One thing to keep in mind is that society's ideas of what gets labeled as masculine and feminine change over time. In fact, less than 100 years ago people thought pink was the best color to dress boy babies in, and blue for girls! Fortunately, stereotypes can change over time, and we can have a lot to do with changing them!
Lots of people hide this about themselves because they are afraid others won't understand. Sometimes guys who like "girl" things and girls who like "guy" things get labeled weird or gay. Some people don't know or don't understand the difference between sexual orientation and gender
Some people don't even want to be bothered with learning about it because it makes them feel threatened and afraid. This can make life rough, especially for trans, queer, gay, bisexual, lesbian or straight people who think or act outside the box of what is "socially normal."
If you like shaking things up a bit, challenge assumptions and stereotypes when you feel it is safe to do so. Here are some questions you can ask:
Why is blue for boys and pink for girls?
What can boy kids learn from playing with dolls? Girls from construction sets?
Who has more leeway to express themselves with others? Guys? Girls? Why
How do these ideas change over time? What was considered appropriate jewelry for a man 100 years ago?
Does place or culture make a difference? How are ideas about sex and gender roles different for people living in other countries?
Read the writings of sexual and gender minority youth and see if there are any themes that ring true for you. There are lots of genderqueer and transgender youth out there speaking their minds and looking for and finding community and support. See Sex, Etc's linksfor place to check out.
The more people speak out, the more of a chance they can find others who feel just like they do. You are not alone!
A book that can be helpful--and really fun!--for anyone who wants to better understand their own sense of gender is called, "My Gender Workbook: How to Become a Real Man, a Real Woman, the Real You, or Something Else Entirely" by Kate Bornstein.
