Q:Everyone at my school says "That's so gay" when they mean something is stupid or bad. As a gay student, I find it really offensive and annoying and I want to say something back. At the same time, I think my teachers should say something, not just me--the so-called token gay student. What can I do?
A:
You're right--your teachers should also take responsibility for making the school environment safe for all students, not just some students.
There are things you can do! However, it is worth noting that it can be exhausting to be the one "token" gay student who takes on the burden of educating students and teachers about gay issues. So if you feel up to the challenge, here are some ways to bring about change so that you don't always have to be the only one "doing something."
Find a teacher or administrator that you particularly trust, or who has reached out to you in the past. Talk to him or her about how you are feeling, specifically what it feels like when students say, "That's so gay," and when teachers pretend not to notice or care. If your teacher seems interested and asks how he or she can help, here are some suggestions:
Help you organize a training for teachers at the next in-service on GLBTQ issues at school. Ask the speakers who come to the training to talk about the expression, "That's so gay." Find speakers here.
Ask him or her to talk to other teachers about the expression "That's so gay" and how they could react to stop the harassment.
Help you start a Gay-Straight Alliance so that an entire team of students can change the climate at your school to be more aware of homophobia.
Do some research. If your state school system has adopted the "Safe Schools" laws, then this is expression is deemed "harassment," and must be stopped by the school administrators. Check out our project called "Sex in the States" to review the laws in your state. Be sure to follow the link in the sources for updates.
Go straight (no pun intended) to the top and talk to your principle. You could try to talk to him or her about this expression as "harassment" or bullying and ask that it be addressed in a staff meeting with teachers. If you want to do some research on this topic before you talk to your principle, then try these Web sites: Gay, Lesbian Straight Education Network and Lambda Legal.
Q:Everyone at my school says "That's so gay" when they mean something is stupid or bad. As a gay student, I find it really offensive and annoying and I want to say something back. At the same time, I think my teachers should say something, not just me--the so-called token gay student. What can I do?
