A: Falling in love or having a crush can be one of the best--and worst--feelings we can have as human beings! There is always a time when we wonder what to do with our feelings.

In this case, it is helpful to think about whether or not it is a good idea to want to date your best friend, regardless of gender. Ask yourself a few questions and carefully consider your answers. Are you confusing the intimacy of friendship with romantic feelings? Are you afraid to meet new people and seek relationships elsewhere? Are you setting yourself up to desire someone who isn't likely to want you back?

It can also help to review the pros and cons of talking to your friend about your feelings:

Pros

• He may feel the same way and hasn't had the courage to say anything yet.
• Revealing your feelings may begin a great romantic relationship.
• He may say he doesn't feel attracted to you, but the trust you showed strengthens the friendship.
• He isn't attracted to you, but at least you feel relieved to get it off your chest.

• He may not have the same feelings and you may feel heart-broken.
• He may be scared of your feelings and stop inviting you to do certain things anymore (like sleep over).
• He may be scared of your feelings and ask to not be friends anymore, or even feel threatened enough to react violently.
• He may tell other people who will react badly.

Since you know your friend pretty well, you may have more pros and cons to add to these lists. And all of this may depend on whether or not you are already out to him as gay. If you are, think carefully about how he reacted when you came out. This can give you a clue to how he may react to this news.

Another way to get a better sense of the situation is to ask some non-threatening questions to see his response. You could ask, "I heard that ____ might be gay. What do you think?" or "Have you ever wanted to kiss a guy? What do you think of that?" or "I met this lesbian girl who is really cool. Do you think it's normal to be gay?"

Above all, keep in mind that you do have options. One big option is to just keep him as a friend and seek romantic relationships with other people who are "out of the closet" and looking for love.