Suicide is an ugly, horrible act. There's no way around that. Teens who kill
themselves don't just hurt themselves. Everybody around them is left feeling
angry, guilty, helpless, and depressed.
Sometimes things seem hopeless, but a
permanent step like suicide is not the solution. If you have any serious thoughts
of suicide you MUST talk to someone. Talking to a friend, trusted adult,
therapist, or a suicide prevention hotline can be very helpful.
Most teenagers
have been exposed to some discussion of suicide, which is the third leading cause
of death among people aged 15 to 19 and the second leading cause of death among
those 19 to 24. If you have a friend who has talked about suicide, take it
seriously. You can ask your friend straight out if he or she is considering
suicide and then urge him or her to call one of the resource numbers at the end
of this chapter. If your friend flat-out refuses to get help, alert an adult to
the situation or call a suicide hotline on your friend's behalf and get advice
from a professional.
Signs that someone is seriously considering suicide include a
preoccupation with death, giving away valued possessions, a plan for how to kill
themselves, possession of pills or a weapon, a previous history of hurting
themselves, and an inexplicable sense of calm after a long depression.
If a friend commits suicide, it's important to remember that it isn't your fault. As in the case of any death of a loved one, the survivors grieve. In the case of suicide, the grief process often also includes feelings of shame, guilt, failure, rejection, and anger--toward the person who committed suicide, yourself, God, or others. Sometimes you may be able to understand the pressures that caused someone to commit suicide; other times the cause is a complete mystery.
Survivors need to know that it is OK to grieve, cry, laugh, and heal. Moving on does not mean that you loved the person any less or that you've forgotten about her or him. It may be helpful for survivors to grieve and talk about the suicide with each other. The mourning process for death by suicide may be considerably longer than for other types of death.
