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I knew at a young age that I maybe wasn’t fit for Catholicism. I transferred to a private Christian school in fourth grade, and my family started going to the Methodist church that was associated with it. Methodists seemed to be more laid back than Catholics so I liked that. There was actually a separate service for teens that we all went to, which was pretty cool. It made religion seem fun.

However, the school itself was way intense when it came to religion. I felt weird that religion was my hardest class and that I was being forced to memorize Bible verses and parables. I was never taught that religion was a choice.

I switched schools in eighth grade and started going to an Episcopalian school that focused more on school than religion. We had religion classes, but it was more about ethics and being a good human being. And then in high school, religion was an elective, which I elected not to take.

Having been through a lot of really tough situations in my life, I started wondering why God would allow such terrible things to happen to my family and to me. It didn’t make sense. Even with the idea that God tests people and these things strengthen your faith, it just made me reject it.

I stopped going to church in high school, which left me feeling much more relieved. I hated the idea that I had to go to a designated place to worship or to prove something. I’m pretty sure if there is a God, he or she doesn’t care where I am if I want to chat. My high school had a mandatory chapel every week, but it didn’t feel like church. If anything, it was an hour out of the week that we got clear our heads.

During my junior year, one of my best friends passed away. It was the first time someone close to me died, and she was only fifteen. When that happened, I couldn’t fathom that there was a god who would take the life of my best friend. It just didn’t make sense to me in any capacity.

The day of my friend’s funeral, one of the really religious girls in my class and a teacher sat me down and told me that I would get over my friend’s death if I believed in God. I didn’t take to kindly to that. I found is so disrespectful for them to say that in general and horribly offensive that they said it to me on the day of my friend’s funeral.

From that point on, I didn’t know what I believed. I started becoming terribly uncomfortable when people said they would pray for me, and I still feel like that today. I think it’s a nice gesture, really. But I would rather have someone’s positive thoughts and love than prayers to something I don’t necessarily believe in.

I grew up being taught that you had to have a religion and believe in all of these things, but I realized that wasn’t the case. Religion is such a personal and private thing. No one has the right to tell you what you should or shouldn’t believe.

Right now, I’m sort of in this limbo between agnosticism and atheism. Atheists reject the idea of deities while agnostics think it’s an unknown. On the day to day, I don’t really feel like there is anything. But when I see something exceptional or have an experience that makes me super thankful to be alive, I feel like there has to be something there.

I think it’s okay not to be sure. It’s okay to not have a religion. It’s okay to believe things from multiple religions. It’s okay to learn about all kinds of religions before deciding what you believe. It’s okay because beliefs are a personal choice, which means you get to choose whatever you want.

Are you religious? Why or why not? Tell us in the comments!

Does cheerleading involve God?

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Whatever your thoughts on revenge are, check out these quotes. They’re all about the best kinds of revenge and how to really get even with someone. Or, you know, how to show someone how much better off you are without them. Which, really, is the best revenge. Take a look at the quotes and share them on your own social media sites!

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Do you like to get revenge on people or do you think it’s immature? Which of these quotes was your favorite? Tell me in the comments.

10 quotes about cheating

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Why? Here’s a secret: being a diva can make you more successful. Divas know what they want and they’re not afraid to get it – and they can easily teach you a thing or two about how get what you want. Think about some of the most famously described divas in this world: Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Lady Gaga. These women are strong, independent, wildly successful and usually seen as role-models. Isn’t that something you would want to aspire to be?

So I took some classic diva qualities that I’ve both experienced in real life and read about in this WSJ piece and turned them into tips on how to get what you want. If you start doing this stuff, I can guarantee you’ll start seeing results and getting happier:

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Be Confident

There is no possible way you can be a diva and get what you want if you're not confident in yourself. (If you need some help, check out these tips!) You need to believe in yourself and know how awesome you are in order to get other people to feel the same way. Confidence can do way more than just attract dudes - it changes the way other people see you and that's really important when you're looking to get exactly what you want.

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Don't Get Too Cocky

Being confident is super important, but be very wary of the fine line between healthy amounts of self-esteem and narcissism. As the WSJ piece points out, being too full of yourself isn't good. Being arrogant will not only piss people off, it will also alienate them - and no one wants to do things for someone who thinks she knows it all. Sometimes you may need to be a little bit cocky, but like I said... be careful. Keep yourself grounded, no matter how successful you get.

Source: ShutterStock

Look Presentable

I'm not saying you have to dress in business suits and classy dresses every single day, but let's be real: walking around looking like a bum is probably not going to impress anyone. Looking presentable isn't just about showering, doing your hair and wearing something expensive - it's about nailing your own look and owning it. You don't need to spend a lot of money to do that. People are much more apt to take you seriously when you look like you care about yourself. This is especially important when you have a big event, like a job or college interview. Save the sweats for your lazy Sundays.

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Know What You're Good At And Work It

Part of being confident is knowing exactly what you're good at... and being a diva is being able to work those talents hard. Think about Beyonce: does there ever seem like there's a teensy bit of doubt in her mind that she can put on an amazing performance? No, it doesn't. She knows she can deliver a good show - and she does, every time. Focus on your talents and don't be afraid to toot your own horn when trying to get something you want.

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Don't Be Afraid To Ask For What You Want

One extremely important part of getting what you want? Asking for it. That may seem obvious, but there are tons of people out there who are too nervous to ask for what they want out of fear of looking pushy and annoying. Yeah, maybe it is a little pushy - but that can be a good thing! Chances are, if you don't ask for a promotion or the grade you think you deserve but didn't get, you're not going to get it. Same goes for relationships - if you're crushing on a dude, don't be afraid to go after him. Sitting quietly by on the sidelines is unfortunately going to get you nowhere.

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Demand Respect

Demanding respect from people is another thing that comes from being confident. In order to get people to respect you (and, thus, listen to your opinions and ideas more), you need to respect yourself. When someone compliments you, say thank you instead of disagreeing. Don't put yourself down in front of others, because then they'll think it's okay to put you down also. When someone does something messed up to you, don't be afraid to say something. Which brings us to our next tip...

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Stand Up For Yourself

Another way to demand respect is by standing up for yourself. When you show people you're not a girl who can be messed with, they're going to be more impressed with you - and they're probably then going to be more willing to do what you want. Don't let people criticize you for no reason and don't let others stand in the way of you getting what you want. If someone tells you they don't believe in you, tell them they're wrong and make them truly believe that they'll one day eat those words.

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Know You're Worth It

Going after your goals can sometimes take a long time and be really difficult. Sometimes you might feel like you don't know if it's worth it. But you need to realize that you're definitely worth it - you deserve success and you deserve to get exactly what you want! Tell yourself that whenever you're feeling doubtful. This also applies to relationships. If you're dating someone who isn't treating you right, remind yourself that you deserve to date someone better than that.

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Empower Others

Being a role-model sort of comes along with being a diva. Jennifer Lopez, Lady Gaga and other famous divas are also role models for a lot of young girls (and guys) and that's because they empower others to be the best they can be. Someone who knows how to get what they want isn't afraid to lift others up just as much as they lift themselves up.

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Surround Yourself With People Who Support You

This goes for friendships and relationships. Don't ever date a dude who doesn't believe in you or who wants to hold you back for selfish reasons. Date a guy who supports your decisions and is always standing by your side. Same goes for friends - if you have a frenemy who is constantly bringing you down, ditch her! Remember: you're worth more than that.

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How do you go after what you want? Do you think you’re a diva? Are you going to try these tips? Tell us in the comments.

How to boost your self-esteem

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But as hard as it is, it’s also necessary. If we never forgave anyone, we would be living with a whole lot of hate – and that’s not doing anyone any good. Plus, being able to forgive is a sign of maturity and also a sign that you’re a really strong person. If you need that extra push towards moving on and letting go, check out our 10 favorite quotes about forgiveness. They may give you the inspiration you need to forgive someone.

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Which of these quotes was your favorite? Do you have trouble forgiving people? How long does it usually take you to be able to forgive? Tell us in the comments.

10 quotes for your best friend

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But being awkward is… well, awkward. The positives? It makes life interesting and hilarious almost all the time. I have a lot of embarrassing stories that bring much amusement to my friends and family. The negatives? I almost always look like total doof.

For anyone who can totally relate to me, this post is for you. This is what being awkward is really like, explained in GIFs:

Whenever I do anything social, ever, it’s like:

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When I say stuff that I probably should have kept private, people are always like: 

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And I’m just like…

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When I have no one to talk to at a party, I look like this: 

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That time I accidentally hit my crush in the face (don’t ask), I was like:

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When I say something really stupid in front of one of my bosses, they’re just like: 

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Whenever I try to talk to my crush and instead I mumble, I try to play it off like:

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When I do something weird in a crowded room and I try to act like it didn’t happen, I’m like: 

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That time a guy told me he liked me and I didn’t know what to say, I was like: 

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Every time I try to dance at a party, I look like this: 

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When I say something weird to a stranger and they look at me like this: 

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And then I’m just like, “Um, okay, bye!”

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When my crush compliments me and I’m so happy I don’t know what to do, this is usually how I react:

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When I’m on a really bad date, it’s like: 

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Or maybe it’s like this: 

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That time I walked into the wrong house (again, don’t ask), it was like:

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When I try to drink and look happy at the same time I look like this: 

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My response to basically anything I do:

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And everyone else is like: 

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Are you also an awkward person? Which of these GIFs was your favorite? Can you relate to this? Tell me in the comments!

10 quotes about making mistakes

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Source: Shutterstock

Big changes afoot, girls! Since I’m coupled up (aka boring), I’ve decided to  focus on giving you darlings love advice rather than prattling on about my own (boring) love life! If you didn’t know, I post romance advice vids to my YouTube page so I thought hey, why not share it with my favorite girls?! But beware–I don’t sugarcoat things. We all have friends who just tell you what you want to hear–I’m not that friend. I’m the one who’s going to be honest and help you make the best decisions possible. It may not always be pretty, but it WILL be the truth!

Hi Shallon!

One of my best friends likes this guy and I think I like him too. Even though she liked him first, I can’t just help it. What should I do? I haven’t told ANYONE that I like him because I don’t want her to find out and get mad. Help?

–Ellen

Dear Extremely Confused Ellen,

If God had created a 10 Friendship Commandments, number one would’ve been Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy BFF’s Crush. It’s right up there with Honor Thy Pinkie Swears. But falling for the same dude is kind of inevitable – we’re so similar to our friends and therefore we’d probably go for the same guys, right?

So the strategy here is to ask yourself a very simple question: which person do you picture being in your life the longest? Your best friend or your crush?

Note: NEVER fight over a guy. Especially if they have weird facial hair patterns like this dude. Source: Shutterstock

Hey, guess what: YOUR FRIEND. I am still very close with my BFFs from elementary school, high school and college. But I can barely even remember the last names of the boys I like. Besides, think about all the drama if you end up fighting with her. School will become a living hell and um, it’s not even a guarantee that the guy likes you back! What if you stir the pot with your BFF only to discover that – ta da! – he doesn’t like either one of you. Uck. Terrible.

Choosing a friend over a guy is like choosing a salad over a cupcake. In the moment you reeeeeaaaally want to make one decision, but in the long run you will be SO thankful you didn’t. But.. is it really the boy you’re after? In high school I always had crushes on my BFF’s guys because, weirdly, I wanted her life. She was so pretty and confident and smart, I think I subconsciously thought that getting the guy would get me all of her attributes. SHOCKER: it doesn’t work that way.

WWTSD? What would Taylor Swift do?
Source: WENN

So basically: don’t tell your friend and forget about this crush. Boys come along constantly (trust me they do) but BFFs are hard to find!

XO,
Shallon

Feel free to leave your love Qs in the comments or drop me an email to AskShallon@gmail.com and follow me on Twitter and Instagram @ShallonXO

I haven’t had my first kiss yet – am I weird?

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That’s why I love these best friend quotes – they perfectly sum up what it’s like to have a bestie. I mean, what would you do without her (or him) right? So check out these BFF quotes, then share them on your Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter to show your best friend exactly how much you love her!

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Which of these quotes was your favorite? What did I miss? Which one explains your best friend relationship the most? Tell us in the comments!

10 quotes about making mistakes

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When things are tough, it can be hard to remember that mistakes can actually be a good thing. They can open doors to new experiences that you otherwise might not have noticed and they can teach us how to do things the correct way. Need a reminder of that? Check out our quotes about mistakes to remind yourself that even when you mess up, you’ll be okay in the end.

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What was the last mistake you made? Which of these quotes was your favorite? What do you want to see quotes about? Tell me in the comments.

10 amazing Britney Spears quotes

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So sit back and let Britney Spears school you on love, being yourself, being powerful and just, you know, life in general. Then listen to some old Britney music. That last part isn’t mandatory, though – just really fun.

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Which of these quotes is your favorite? Are you a fan of Britney Spears? Who do you want to see quotes from? Tell me in the comments.

10 super smart Demi Lovato quotes

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Today I got a little advice from an unlikely source: a celebrity rant. Jada Pinkett Smith recently posted something on her Facebook page that actually really made me think – and I think the lesson I took from her post is something that everyone needs to be reminded about: why making mistakes isn’t the end of the world.

Before I get ahead of myself, let’s check out Jada’s rant. She was basically scolding everyone in the world about cyber-bullying young celebrities. According to Jada, we shouldn’t be picking apart everything a young celeb does or making fun of them for doing something wrong. She makes the point that even though these people are famous, they’re still human beings trying to figure out their lives – while also being in the spotlight.

Jada discusses the recent attacks made on stars like Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift and Rihanna based on mistakes they’ve been making. She says, “Are these young people not allowed to be young, make mistakes, grow, and eventually transform a million times before our eyes?” 

You can read the entire blog post right here, but the main takeaway is this: mistakes happen to everyone and we shouldn’t be judging people so harshly based on these mistakes. Even though Jada is referring to celebrities who have extreme situations like this, I think this is pretty easy to relate to. There are two things to focus on here:

Don’t stress over mistakes you make. 
How many times have you made a terrible mistake that feels like the end of the world? It’s happened to me about a million times. Look, I know doing something wrong or messing something up can seem absolutely awful and scary. But here’s the thing: big or small, mistakes happen to everyone. We’re all human beings and no one is perfect. I know you might be rolling your eyes right now, but guys, it’s true!

Jada points out that mistakes are a part of growing – and it’s true. You can’t always learn how to do things the right way if you don’t do them the wrong way first. I’m not saying you should go out there and do whatever the heck you want without fear of consequences. I’m just saying that if you make a mistake, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. Learn from it and move on.

Don’t make others feel horrible about their own mistakes.
Just like mistakes happen to you, they happen to others as well. I feel like sometimes we all need to become a little bit more forgiving and understanding. Your friends, family and significant others can’t be perfect all the time – one little mistake doesn’t mean you should automatically end any kind of relationship with someone.

Think about it this way: would you want to be judged on every mistake you’ve ever made? Probably not. It’s unfair to do that to people. There’s definitely a difference between a  mistake and a choice, but sometimes, try putting yourself in their shoes before you say or do something extreme.

I know how tough it can be to move past your mistakes. Sometimes we can be really hard on ourselves! This is just a little reminder to take it easy on ourselves and our friends when it comes to mistakes being made – before you make fun of someone, think of how you would feel.

Do you stress about the mistakes you make? What was the last really bad one you made? Do you think Jada is right – is the media too hard on young celebs? Tell me in the comments.

The easiest way to make a decision

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