Just relax - you're probably better then you think! | Source: ShutterStock

Take a deep breath and relax, girl, because I’m going to go ahead and say that you’re probably a good kisser. I’ve never kissed you, so I might not know from experience, but I can tell you this: if a guy has been kissing you all the time for three months, then you’re doing something right.

Think about it this way: if you hooked up with a dude who was a horrible kisser, would you keep doing it? Probably not. Well, it works the same way with guys. If a boy thinks you’re a bad kisser, he’s probably not going to keep kissing you. Does your boyfriend ever try to give you tips or pointers? If so, maybe he wants you to do some things differently – but that doesn’t mean you’re bad!

It's always a good idea to have this handy! | Source: ShutterStock

Does he seem like he wants to kiss you? Does he seem like he’s enjoying himself when you guys are kissing? If the answer is yes to those questions, then I think you’re safe. Unless your man ends up with your saliva all over his chin or he has bite marks all over his tongue and lips, you’re good.

To be a good kisser, you only have to keep these things in mind: Don’t shove your tongue down a dude’s throat – instead, move it around in his mouth slowly. Playful nibbling is sexy, but straight-up biting is usually a no-no. Don’t grope your guy while you’re making out – try running your hands through his hair, down his back, or just holding him close. And lastly, always have breath mints handy.

But really, the main thing is that kissing is all about feeling comfortable with yourself and your partner, having fun, and being confident. Stay relaxed and let yourself have a good time. If you spend an entire make out sesh worrying about whether or not you’re doing the right thing, it’s never going to feel right to you. And there’s no shame in asking your BF what he likes. Opening up to each other about what turns you on is an important part of a relationship.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Do you think about these things when you’re making out?

Stop asking, dude! | Source: ShutterStock

First things first: there’s nothing wrong with the fact that you don’t want to send scandalous pictures of yourself to him. Just because he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean you have an obligation to do so. In fact, I would strongly advise anyone against sending nakey pics – no matter how much you trust the dude, you never know where they could end up, or who could accidentally see them. So props for being smart about this and sticking to your guns!

That being said, it’s really not cool that your boyfriend is pressuring you to do this over and over again when you’ve already told him you’re not into it. I’m not going to say this means he’s a bad boyfriend (I have no idea what else he does or says to you), but I will say that this just shows that, in this particular situation at least, he’s more interested in what he wants than what you want. And you need to make it clear that that is so not going to fly with you.

Sending naked pics - never a good idea. | Source: ShutterStock

Tell your BF one more time that you’re not going to send him naked pictures, now or ever. But this time, try telling him more sternly. Say it’s never going to happen, and you’re sick and tired of him asking. You don’t need to explain why you don’t want to, but if you feel like that might help, just let him know the reason. Don’t let him try to talk you into doing it. Be firm and don’t let him guilt-trip you.

If he still doesn’t stop asking, maybe it’s time to make an ultimatum. Let him know that while you love hanging with him, you don’t love being pressured to do something you don’t want to do. Tell him that if he doesn’t cut it out, he might not be your boyfriend for much longer. That may seem harsh, but no girl deserves to be with a dude who pressures her into doing anything she’s not comfortable with. If he really loves you and is a good guy, he’ll stop. If he keeps doing it, it just means he’s selfish and not ready for a relationship. And you definitely don’t want to be with someone like that.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Read about how this girl leaked naked pictures of her BFF

How does she choose? | Source: ShutterStock

Eek! Sorry to say girl, but you have definitely gotten yourself into a complicated situation here. Being stuck between two guys is a really hard place to be in, and I’m sure you’re experiencing lots of confusing emotions that are stressing you out. The only thing you can do here is make a decision, as hard as it may be. It’s not fair to keep stringing along both guys, especially if your boyfriend doesn’t know you cheated on him. I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, but unfortunately, someone is going to get hurt here.

The first thing you need to do is ask yourself a few questions: Why did you and your ex break up? Did you ever really let yourself get over him? Do you think you guys could honestly work things out if you gave it a shot? In most cases, an ex is an ex for a reason – and going back to him might end up being a disaster. You really need to think about your past relationship with him. You also need to talk to him (without hooking up). Find out his feelings about you, and discuss what things would be like if you two gave it another shot.

Sookie from True Blood definitely understands. | Source: ShutterStock and s_bukley

Now ask yourself a few questions about your current boyfriend: What do you love about him? Do you two have a great relationship? Could he possibly be a rebound from your ex? This might sound ridiculous, but make a pro/con list for both guys. It might help you really consider what you like and don’t like about both of them and help you make a decision.

If you still can’t make up your mind once you really think about everything, you should break up with your boyfriend. It’s not fair to him for you to stay with him while you have feelings for someone else – especially since you’ve already acted on those feelings. Be honest with both of these dudes and tell them you’re super confused and you need some time to yourself to think. Maybe clearing your head and being on your own will help you figure out where your heart is.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

So you cheated… now what?

Farting... it happens to the best of us. | Source: ShutterStock

Honestly, I can understand your embarrassment here. But, and this is a big but, here’s the truth: you really have nothing to be ashamed of! Farting is totally, 100% normal – trust me, I bet your boyfriend does it a whole lot more than you. Okay, it might be a little awkward when it happens, but it’s nothing to freak out over.

First things first: stop avoiding your boyfriend! It’s okay to feel a little bit embarrassed, but refusing to hang out with him is only going to make things worse. For one thing, it’s only making the fart a much bigger issue than it should be. Another thing? He probably already forgot it happened and is wondering what the heck he did wrong to make you avoid him. So go ahead and make a date to hang out. When you see him, don’t think about the farting incident. There’s no need to bring it up again – just act like nothing happened and forget about it.

Just laugh about it. Really! | Source: ShutterStock

If it happens again, don’t panic. Instead, try to make the situation funny. Laugh or make a joke about it. Showing that you’re comfortable enough with yourself to fart in front of him and then giggle about it is only going to show him that you’re a totally cool chick. One thing that almost all guys can appreciate is a girl who knows how to laugh at herself. Some guys would be super impressed that you could fart and not freak out. I mean, I’m not saying you have to start ripping some big ones every time you two are together, but just don’t take it so seriously!

And if this dude is totally grossed out and can’t get past it? Um, he’s so not worth your time, girl. Like I said before, farting is normal. Everybody does it, and sometimes, you really just can’t help it. So there’s no need to stress if it happens – trust me, a good sense of humor will go a long way here.

take care,
Heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

My BF’s dad caught us having sex! Now what?

Don't let him get you down! | Source: ShutterStock

I’m sorry to hear about your crush! But, I have some good news: this week, not only are you getting advice from me, but I’ve also enlisted the help of super-awesome Pubertina from Shut Up Cartoons to give you some advice. Check out what she has to say below:

Thanks for the advice help, Pubes!

Okay, Heather here! I totally agree with Pubertina’s advice and just wanted to add a few things. It definitely stinks that your crush doesn’t share the same feelings as you. I know how much you’re probably hoping he’ll change his mind, but if that happens, it’s something that he’ll need to figure out without your help. This is one of those situations where the best thing to do is back off and move on.

Imagine if you didn’t like a dude, and he kept talking to you and attempting to do things to win you over. It would probably get pretty annoying, right? Continuing to be persistent in going after your crush after he’s already made a decision is only going to turn him off. Be friendly towards him if you’re comfortable with that – maybe in time he’ll see how totally awesome you are and realize he needs to date you.

But keep in mind that that might not happen, and that’s fine. You don’t deserve to sit around trying to make some dude fall in love with you. One day you’ll meet someone who will return all of your feelings and more, and you’ll forget all about this guy!

take care,
Heather (& Pubertina!)

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Need more advice? Get it from this unlikely celeb!

If it's not making you feel better, stop doing it! | Source: ShutterStock

Okay, girl, here’s the thing: I can understand your situation and why you want to keep tabs on your boyfriend’s Facebook. But, as you already know, you need to stop doing it. It’s not going to make you feel any better – actually, it sounds like doing it is hurting you. And it’s definitely not going to help you learn to trust your boyfriend. If you want to have a healthy relationship with this dude, then you need to log off of his Facebook, once and for all.

Looking at your BF’s Facebook page every day is totally fine – normal, even. But logging into your boyfriend’s Facebook page and stalking it on a regular basis? Not totally fine. What starts out as a once-in-a-while thing inevitably turns into sort of an obsession (sounds like that happened to you). Even when you don’t want to log on, you feel like you have to, because you do it so often. Although you might feel like checking up on him this way will help you trust him, it’s going to do just the opposite. It will start to make you even more paranoid. It’s SO easy to misread things online. Little things you see that are probably harmless are going to look ten times worse when you don’t know the actual story behind them.

Playing detective and snooping through his stuff will never help your relationship | Source: ShutterStock

Besides the fact that this is harmful to your own mental health, it’s simply not a nice thing to do to your boyfriend. If he doesn’t know you’ve been checking his Facebook, I’m sure he won’t be too happy if he finds out. How would you feel if he was snooping through your Facebook everyday? It’s an invasion of his privacy – it doesn’t matter how long you two have been dating, that still doesn’t give you the right to go through his things whenever you want.

And if he knows you have his password, then consider this: he knows you can see things he does on FB. That means if he’s going to do something shady, he knows better than to do it on that website. I’m not trying to make you more paranoid or worried, because I have no idea if he’s doing that or not, but it’s definitely something you should realize.

Trusting someone who has betrayed you in the past is super hard. But snooping around and going through his things isn’t the answer on how to gain it back (for more advice on trust, read my advice here). You’re really the only one who can make yourself stop going on his Facebook. The next time you have the urge to do it, get yourself away from the computer immediately. Think about all the times you logged on and found nothing and ask yourself if it’s really worth it. Start by only allowing yourself to log on once a week, or twice a week. After a while, go down to even less than that. And if you really can’t do it on your own, confess to your BF. Tell him to change his password so that you have no choice but to stop.

If you honestly don’t trust your BF enough to stop stalking his Facebook, then you need to talk to him about it. I know that whatever he did in the past hurt you – but if you want to stay with him, you need to learn to move on and truly forgive him. What you’re doing now isn’t fair to either of you.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

 How can you forgive your boyfriend for cheating?

Um, take a hint, dude! | Source: ShutterStock

Eek! This guy obviously has good taste (he’s into you, after all!), but it sounds like he really needs to take a hint and move on. No matter how flattering it might be to have someone be that into you, no one wants some dude following them around when they aren’t interested. The good news is that there are a few ways to get him to back off for good.

While I don’t blame you for the lie you told to spare his feelings (turning someone down can be really hard), you have to come clean with the truth here. By telling him that lie, you made it seem like you would like to be with him, you’re just not allowed. You unintentionally made it seem like he still has a chance with you, and that’s probably why he hasn’t gotten the hint yet. I know it stinks to hurt someone’s feelings, but lying is just as bad. What if you end up meeting someone you really like and you start dating him? When this guy finds out you totally lied, that will probably hurt him even more.

There's a big difference between mean and honest. | Source: ShutterStock

If you don’t feel comfortable telling him the truth in person, then do it in a way you do feel comfortable – Facebook messaging, a handwritten note, an email – whatever works for you. All you have to do is say that he seems like he’s a cool guy, but you’re not interested. Don’t try to make excuses like you just need to focus on school or you’re not ready for a relationship. Saying things like that will continue to make him think there’s a chance you like him. By flat-out saying you’re not interested, it’s hard for him to take that any other way. And if he presses the issue, say that you’ve already made your decision and nothing he can say will change that.

Try to keep things between just you two, but if this dude continues to be seriously creepy and perverted, say something to a trusted adult like a teacher, school counselor, or your parents. Maybe if a person of authority tells him to back off, he’ll listen. The main thing is that it’s not okay for him to make you feel uncomfortable with sexual remarks – that’s not cool! Don’t be afraid to tell someone about it.

In the meantime, avoid this guy when you can. I know you might feel guilty for rejecting him, but don’t feel like you need to be overly nice to compensate for it, because that will give him the wrong idea. Unfortunately, rejection is a part of life, and he’s going to have to learn to deal with that.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

And if someone rejects you? Here’s how to deal

Breakups are sad no matter what | Source: ShutterStock

I’m really sorry that you’re in this situation – it definitely stinks. As hard as this is for you, I think it’s great that you’re being so mature and level-headed about it. That will only make it easier for you to deal with everything.

While normally I would tell you to wait and see how things go next year before making a decision, in this case I think the best idea might be to end things. That’s not because I don’t think long-distance relationships can work, but it’s because you’re already having serious doubts while you two are together, and that’s only going to get worse once you two are apart. And if you want to stay on good terms with this guy, it’s much better to end things in person than other the phone.

Moving on in college might be easier than moving on at home | Source: ShutterStock

That being said, there’s no reason to rush things – but you do have to talk to your man about this. Letting him think things are going to be fine next year is only going to make things worse. Have a serious talk with him about college and basically tell him what you told me. Explain that you love him, but you just don’t think things are going to work because of the different paths you two are going on. Tell him you would love to be friends and you don’t want to lose him entirely. Be as nice and gentle as possible.

Figure out together when you want to end things. He might be really hurt and want to end things right away. Or maybe you both want to spend as much time together as possible while you can. There’s nothing wrong with you guys dating until you both go away to college if that’s what you want to do. But really, I can’t tell you what to do here. It’s all about how you feel and what you want.

That being said, don’t assume that just because you two will be far away from each other you can’t still be together. Long-distance relationships do work, they just take a lot of time and effort. If you want to give things a shot next year before breaking up, that’s not silly or foolish. Don’t make this decision until you really think things over and consider what you want to do next year – ultimately, do what feels right for you.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

What do you think: do long-distance relationships ever work?

At a certain point, it's only hurting you. | Source: ShutterStock

Here’s the hard truth: it doesn’t sound like this dude and you are right for each other right now. Constant fighting, crying and breaking-up is never a good sign in any kind of relationship, and before you take this any further, you need to cut your losses and move on.

No one can say that relationships are easy – they require lots of compromise, even when two people love each other very much. But no relationship should involve nonstop arguing. I know you really like this guy, and I know how hard breakups can be. But you’re right: by staying with him and taking him back after every blowout, you are only hurting yourself.

Don't let the apologies fool you! | Source: ShutterStock

This guy is not treating you the way you deserve to be treated. I don’t know why you guys are fighting all the time, or why he keeps breaking up with you. But no matter what the reason is, you deserve someone who isn’t going to always make you cry, only to reappear a few days later with apologies that are probably false. By letting this guy treat you this way and then taking him back, you’re enabling his bad behavior. It’s not your fault – it’s a situation that girls and guys get themselves into all the time.

Right now, he thinks he can treat you however he wants, and as long as he comes crawling back with some sweet words, everything will be fine. You need to show him that that’s not how things work. If you’re still with him right now, tell him you need to take a break. Explain that what’s going on between you two isn’t working for you anymore. Don’t let him talk you out of it! This is for your own good, girl.

If you two are really meant to be together, you’ll find your way back to each other. Maybe freezing him out will make him realize what a great girl you are and how much he needs to get his act together. Even if you don’t get back together, I promise you will ultimately feel so much happier when you’re not stressing over him all the time. Not only that, but you’ll also feel so strong and proud of yourself for ending things. Trust me: it’s better to be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable.

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Find out how to get over a breakup right here

Don't panic! | Source: ShutterStock

Hi Heather,

My boyfriend’s dad caught my boyfriend and me having sex! I’m so stressed out and embarrassed. How am I gonna face his father without dying of embarrassment?! Please help!!

Ack! I’m not going to lie, getting caught having sex is totally awkward no matter what the situation is or who catches you. But don’t worry – you’re not alone! Couples get caught getting frisky all the time. Even though it might seem like the most embarrassing thing in the world, I promise you’ll get past this.

I know you probably would be happy if you never had to see your boyfriend’s dad again, but unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. The first few times you see him or talk to him might be a little awkward, but things will get better as time passes. The best thing you can do in this situation is just act completely normal. Keep in mind that your BF’s dad is probably also feeling totally embarrassed for walking in on you guys.

Yup, he probably feels just as weird. | Source: ShutterStock

The next time you see him, just act like nothing weird happened. Keeping things light instead of avoiding or ignoring him is going to relieve some of the tension. Say hi and act respectful and polite. Don’t bring up the situation unless you know he’s really mad about it – in that case, a simple apology might be in order. But if he doesn’t bring it up and he doesn’t seem mad at you and your boyfriend, then that probably means he wants to forget it just as much as you guys do.

Honestly, the first few times you see him will probably feel totally uncomfortable. But like I said before, things will get better as time goes by. Eventually, it’ll be like it never happened – and it will also make a pretty funny story you can share with your girlfriends!

take care,
heather

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

This girl’s brother walked in on her and her BF hooking up – naked!