OH, WAIT. MESSAGE NOT FORWARDED. I REPLIED TO THE ORIGINAL SENDER.

To say I was mortified is just the tip of the iceberg, but I apologized and explained the situation. Luckily, the original sender was totally understanding. Giant sigh of relief. I didn’t have to start crying all over my desk and de-activate all electronic communication forever.

Unfortunately, similar things have happened before. On a number of occasions I’ve sent a text message to the totally wrong person. Usually in those cases the message went to a friend, so I could laugh it off, but every once in a while, it’s a bit more traumatic. So if you are like me and just sent a message to the wrong person, what should you do? Well, depending on what happened, I think there’s different ways you can go about your damage control:

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Try To Calm Down

You're not going to be thinking straight when your heart is racing a million miles a minute. I know it's easier said than done, but try to take a deep breath. A lot of times, people will be understanding about the mistake, but there are some different contexts to consider. Once you've toned down your panic, you can figure out what steps to take next.

Source: Shutterstock.com

A Random Message To The Wrong Friend

This happens all the time. If the message is just something harmless and has no context for this friend, a quick "Whoops - sorry! Meant to send that to someone else" is usually fine. When the actual message is nothing to stress over and the person who got it knows you, a quick apology for the momentary confusion or inconvenience is all you need. You don't need to get too wordy with it. Just acknowledge it quickly and move on.

Source: Shutterstock.com

A Random Message To Someone You Don't Know Well

Okay, even when the actual content of the message is harmless and inoffensive, it can still be embarrassing to send it to a person you don't know super well or who you want to see you as a responsible person. Apologize a little more formally if you accidentally texted the woman whose kids you babysit for or sent an email to your boss. You don't need to go overboard, but use a complete sentence and acknowledge the mistake, and they're likely to appreciate that you took responsibility and handled it with maturity.

Source: Shutterstock.com

You Sent A Casual Invite To The Wrong Friend

If you send a "Want to hang out this weekend?" or a more low-key invite to grab food to the wrong friend, it is kind of harsh to be like "AHH NO, I DIDN'T MEAN YOU!" You don't want to make them feel like you want nothing to do with them. See what they say - they may be busy anyway and you're off the hook, or maybe it could be a stroke of good luck to spend quality time with them. I think in most cases, you may just be better off acting like they were the original recipient and not saying it was an accidental send.

Source: Shutterstock.com

You Sent A Special Invite To The Wrong Friend

What if the invite is for a big event or something super specific? Personally, I probably still wouldn't say anything because I'd feel bad taking back the invite. That said, I also don't think it's out of line to explain that the concert you just invited your lab partner to was actually meant to be a present for your BFF's birthday. There's more money and personal intent involved. It's awkward, but I think people would understand if you explain the miscommunication with the invite. Still do it ASAP, and maybe see if that person wants to do something together in the future so they don't feel abandoned.

Source: Shutterstock.com

You Sent A Friend A Text... About Her

This one is pretty bad, but has happened to a lot of us. To be honest, you were kind of in the wrong for texting behind her back even when you were doing it privately. Definitely don't make excuses. Know that this could cause lasting damage, but do apologize quickly and try to make it up in any way possible. You don't want to lose a friend over a bad message.

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Accidentally Messaged Your Parents

This one isn't good if that message wasn't parent-friendly. Everyone's parents are going to react differently if they find out you've been up to something they don't think you should be. In general, be ready to deal with this in a face-to-face conversation with them. You can apologize, but the mistaken message could cause trust issues, so prove to them as much as possible that they can trust you. Maybe this could also be an opportunity to open up the usual lines of communication more with your parents going forward.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Use It As A Learning Opportunity

Whether it was a minor embarrassment or a major slip-up, use this as a reminder to not let it happen again. I know there are things out there that claim to let you unsend messages, but I can't say for certain which could actually work. My best advice to always double, triple, quadruple, quintuple check who the recipient is before you hit send.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Have you ever sent a message to the wrong person? Who was it for and who did you send it to? How did you handle it? Tell me in the comments.

Are YOU One Of The Most Annoying People On Facebook?

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Sometimes I don’t know what to do with high heels. | Source: Shutterstock.com

I don’t watch Pretty Little Liars on TV, but I did read the books and I always had kind of a soft spot for Hanna. So anyway, I was pretty stoked when I learned that Ashley Benson (who plays Hanna on the show) and I have some similar tastes when it comes to style.

Ashley recently told Glamour, “I feel uncomfortable when I’m in Hanna’s clothes just because I hate wearing heels, and she’s always in heels. My feet hurt!”

Oh, Ash (can I call you that?) – I can totally relate to the suckiness of having pained feet. Not to go too TMI on you all, but my feet have been through some pretty gross stuff.

During field hockey camp, I was notorious for getting the nastiest blood blisters (yeah, not pleasant). These days, I try to give my feet TLC on the reg with a lot of scrubs and creams (and fun polish!), but probably the thing that I stick to the most is sliding into comfy shoes. Like Ashley, I’m just not a heels girl.

I wear my sneakers everywhere in New York. Maybe that’s not like super fashionable on NYC streets, but hey, that’s what I like. Don’t get me wrong, I think heels are beautiful. When I go shopping, I’ll look at them all, but it always is like I am more in a museum and never in the market to actually buy the art. I can appreciate, but it’s generally not for me to bring home.

Sometimes when I try walking in heels, I just feel totally off balance or super self-conscious about them clacking on the wood floor (like, maybe it’s only me that can hear it, but I end up walking in strange ways to avoid it). All in all, not really the confident vibe I’m going for.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say I totally hate heels. Wearing them every once in a while can help me out when I need a little boost from feeling glam. But I honestly only have one pair that I can tolerate wearing. They’re basic, black, not very high. They’re nothing fancy, and luckily, not terribly uncomfortable.

That said, there’s still been many a time when I’ve thought about wearing them out, only to slip into my super comfy sneakers last minute instead. Just thinking about all the walking I’m going to do in those heels ends up making me anxious, and I’d rather be comfortable and smiling than in my heels and whining (because yeah, I have had those nights).

When I read recently about Sarah Jessica Parker talking about how years of heel wearing had hurt her feet, I let out a “Yikes!” Maybe I’m not really in the same high-fashion indstury as SJP, but it does make me nervous what a certain shoe could do.

Even looking beyond the fact that heels can make my feet angry, it’s also worth noting that I’m pretty short, and I love that. While I am always fascinated by how taller people see the world differently than me (this is a game I like to play with my super tall best friend), I like my everyday height. It may be silly but sometimes when I wear heels, just being that much taller doesn’t feel totally right for me.

Ashley went on to tell Glamour that besides uncomfy heels, she likes getting to try out a style different from her usual one when she goes to work. I totally get that. I’ll do the heel thing when I need to and it can be fun to mix it up, but at the end of the day, I’m a sneaker girl through and through. If Ashley ever wants to swap sneakers, I’d totally be down, but I’d also probably pass on Hanna’s heels.

What are your favorite shoes to wear? How do you feel about high heels? Love them? Hate them? Wear them sometimes? Tell us in the comments!

Steal Her Style: Dress Like Taylor Swift

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I don’t really know where to start with this. Source: ShutterStock

I totally think that makeup is a kind of art, and like any art, it takes time to get it the way you want it. In fact, a recent British survey found that the average woman spends about a year and three months of her life applying makeup. That breaks down to more than three hours each week.

Well, I definitely haven’t racked up that many hours in front of my bathroom mirror because I basically never wear makeup. I don’t even mean that in like a braggy way, like I have a flawless face.

Nope, it’s more that I just never got really into it or fully learned how to do it. As a result, I rarely motivate myself to put it on. I could so be that woman who gave up wearing makeup for a year.

Here is a typical morning for you: I intend to wake up at 7:30. I sleep through my eight alarms (do not judge because clearly I need them) and wake up at 8:15. I take a quick shower, grab my bag and have to dash off to the train. I basically have no time to do anything.

As long as I have lip balm and remember to moisturize my face, I usually feel like I’ve maxed out my beauty regimen. I wouldn’t say that I absolutely never wear makeup though because maybe once a week I’ll quickly swipe on mascara or eyeliner before work. I’m just awful at taking it off at night, and I have super sensitive eyes (it’s a terrible combination). Remembering this often deters me from ever putting it on to begin with.

I’m not really sure why I never got all that into makeup. My mom didn’t have strict rules about wearing makeup or anything. I think because I always went from school to practice, I was like “Ehhh, what’s the point?” In addition, I think I just didn’t want to mess up my application with my trademark impatience, so I figured I’d just forgo the whole thing.

Well, it carried over into my adulthood where I continue to not wear it regularly. And I own it! My mom buys me nice stuff! I feel bad that it’s all jumbled in a bag that makes it out really only for special occasions. In a way though, it makes it more fun when I do decide to wear it. But as far as ditching makeup for my everyday life? It’s just easier, and since I like how I look without makeup, I figure, “Why not?”

So based on those survey results, does me not wearing makeup mean that I somehow have a year up on life than those of you who do? Probably not, as I’m sure I have squandered away any extra hours sleeping (or let’s be honest, staying up too late watching TV and then sleeping). Actually, I’m not sure if the survey counted this as makeup, but I do love painting my nails since that’s one beauty investment that will last multiple days (without an eye infection) so there’s a good chance I’ve made up some of that makeup time.

I guess I just never really got into wearing makeup and that’s okay. I have a lot of friends who do, and they look gorgeous when they wear makeup or don’t wear makeup. I’m even a little jealous at some of the creative things they can do with it. Still, I just don’t think I’ll ever be someone who really wears makeup that often and I’m totally cool with that.

How often do you wear makeup? Do you think you spend more than three hours a week doing your makeup? How do you streamline your makeup routine? Tell me in the comments.

The Lazy Girl’s Guide To Makeup (a.k.a. how I do my makeup)

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Source: ShutterStock

If you have the kind of parents who set a lot of rules and are basically just super strict about everything from grades to boys to friends, trust me when I say that I feel your pain. I love my parents to death and owe them everything, but when I was in high school, they made my life incredibly frustrating by being ridiculously strict.

My freshman year of high school was when my parents started getting super strict. At first, it was all about demanding good grades from me (which, fine, I can understand). A’s were the best, B’s were sometimes acceptable, C’s and D’s – never. F’s? Forget about it. This was manageable. I could deal with being forced to do well in school. Fine, whatever. But at some point, my parents decided that they didn’t approve of my friends. Actually, they hated them. This made things difficult, to say the least.

For one thing, I was never allowed to go to anyone’s house unless my mom called to talk to their parents first. As I’m sure you can imagine, this was humiliating. My mom would call my friend’s parents to check up on me to see if I was really going there or to see what we were doing.

The worst moment of this checking up on me nonsense? One night, I was going to hang out with a friend we’ll call L and a bunch of other girls. My mom particularly disliked L and insisted on speaking to her parents before I went there. Trying to avoid the situation, I lied and said I didn’t have her number – so instead, she dropped me off and wouldn’t let me out of the car until she spoke to them. That was when L had to awkwardly explain to my mom that her parents couldn’t talk because they were taking a bath… together. I was never allowed to go over there again. Seriously.

Major sad face | Source: ShutterStock

I could go on and on about all of the times that my parents embarrassed me in front of my friends by being super strict and overprotective, but I won’t, because the memories are painful. Moving on to their attempt at ruining my first real relationship.

When I was 15-years-old, I started dating a guy we’ll call D. D and I got very serious very quickly and my parents didn’t like it. They didn’t approve of D, who was your typical insufferable emo teenager (my mom wanted me to date the blonde, tall, good-looking captain of the football team. No, this is not a movie – just my sad life).

D and I were obsessed with each other, but my parents weren’t having it. They quickly made a rule that I wasn’t allowed to see D during the week, only on the weekends… and even then, they’d find an excuse. Since we couldn’t hang out together Monday-Thursday, D and I would talk on the phone for all hours of the night. We literally used to fall asleep on the phone together. This was, for some reason, my parent’s worst nightmare. Even though it didn’t affect them in the slightest bit, they decided it had to stop.

So, what did they do? Oh, what any rational parent would do – collect all of the house phones (this was before all teens had cell phones) and hide them in their room, obviously. Guys, they would literally disconnect our phone connection every single night and hold all of the phones hostage so I couldn’t use them.

Many more things like this happened. There were points of my high school life where I literally wasn’t allowed to do anything. My parents and I fought on a regular basis, which I don’t even think needs to be said.

We get along much better now | Source: ShutterStock

So, is there a happy ending to this story? Thankfully, yes. At some point during my senior year, my parents realized how completely insane they were being, took a chill pill and relaxed. They got to know my boyfriend and actually started to really like him. They started to accept my friends and realized they probably shouldn’t keep me away from them. My 11 PM curfew disappeared, replaced with… no curfew. I know, it was a dramatic turn.

The worst part about all of this? Okay, there are two worst parts. One: I was never even a bad kid. For real. When considering the other things most high school kids do and go through, my parents should have been on their knees thanking me for being the daughter I was. I got good grades, I never once got detention in my entire life, I had a part-time job all through high school, I never did drugs, I very rarely drank, I was in all sorts of after school activities… I mean, I was even voted Most Shy in high school, for crying out loud!

Sure, I did a few bad things because everyone makes mistakes, but for the most part, I was a great kid. It actually hurt my feelings that my parents were so suspicious of my very move, enough to feel the need to restrict me from doing anything. I worked my butt off to impress them and to do the right thing and it was never acknowledged. It was the worst. I get that they love me and just wanted what was best for me, and I appreciate their intentions… I just wish they had gone about it a different way.

The second worst thing? I have a younger brother and sister and guess what? They have literally always been allowed to do everything they want – and both of them are harder to handle than I was.

If you have parents similar to mine, the only thing I can say to you is this: it gets better. Usually. I mean, maybe not for everyone. But for most people, it does. My advice? Try your hardest not to rebel. Try to reason with them in the most rational way that you can. In the worst case scenario (like mine), you just have to wait it out. Hopefully, your parents will eventually realize that they can trust you… and then they’ll apologize. Hey, it happened to me!

Are your parents strict? Have they ever embarrassed you in front of your friends or boyfriend? What rules do they give you? Tell me in the comments!

Your complete guide to dealing with stress

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I had to learn to stop making everything a competition with my friends. Source: ShutterStock

Another day, another made-up celeb feud. What is it this time? Jessica Chastain responded to the rumor that she didn’t like fellow actress Jennifer Lawrence. Jessica went a step further though, saying not only does she respect Jennifer, but in general, she supports women in her same profession.

The final line from her statement really stuck with me: “With support and encouragement, we help to inspire this industry to create opportunities for women. And as we all know: a great year for women in film, is just a great year for film.”

Basically, when one of her female peers succeeds, that means that things are actually improving for her and others, as well. I definitely wish I had been wise enough to take that approach back when I was playing sports in high school. I was crazy competitive, especially with field hockey. I worked super hard and was really committed, so I felt that it was only fair that I would be considered one of the best people on the team because I obviously cared more.

If someone on my team scored a goal and got more attention when I felt like I had a really good game, I couldn’t stand it. Even if we won! On the outside I was totally smiles and high fives, because I was embarrassed by how competitive I would get inside my head. I absolutely loved my teammates as friends, and I knew it was awful that my competitive self was somehow taking away their success. Even if I wasn’t vocalizing it, I have to think that it slipped out in my attitude from time to time.

During my junior year of field hockey, our team was actually really good. As we started winning more games, I started really that this wasn’t all because of me. Yeah, I was helping the team, but the fact was that everyone was working together. I gradually stopped caring about my personal statistics, and saw the season as a big picture. Everyone on the team had to do well if we were going to make it far. By that logic, there was no way I could keep up my behavior of needing to best everybody.

It’s funny, because even though I’d been playing well in previous seasons, when my team wasn’t doing well as a collective group, it had been way harder for me to stand out as an individual player anyway. Not only that, but I actually think taking a less competitive approach actually made me better because every move wasn’t so calculated. I could just naturally do what I loved and that’s when the best me came through.

The next season, we didn’t win as many games, but as I remembered this was my senior year, I was able to keep that competitive nature at bay. That approach to not indulge my insecurity with competitiveness just started to seep into my personality. In addition to sports, I also started caring less about needing to be the best in the class, and instead wanted to really enjoy what I was learning in school.

The thing was I realized there was a time and a place for getting a little competitive. I still liked winning games, but I realized that it wasn’t worth it at the expense of purposely setting out to outshine my teammates or discredit the hard-working players on other teams. Even if other players from other teams were getting attention, the respect for our sport was gradually growing in our community.

It’s one thing to let a little competition motivate you from time to time, but it’s quite another to let it dominate your life and ultimately how you define yourself. At the end of the day, we have to respect those who have similar goals of wanting to do well and understand that often the road to success is more rewarding when it’s not just one person, but everyone, getting the chance to shine.

Do you think you are a competitive person? Have you ever found yourself competing against the people you should have been working with? Tell me in the comments.

Really Cosmo? Another Battle Of The Sexes Argument?

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Source: ShutterStock

Pregnancy scares are bad enough on their own – if you’ve ever experienced that overwhelming sense of panic that only comes from the possibility of something happening that you feel like you have no control over, you know what I’m talking about. Well, my first pregnancy scare was even worse than normal because I also managed to make it one of the most awkward and embarrassing moments of my life.

Allow me to share the cringe-worthy details.

When I was 16-years-old, I was dating this dude we’ll call D. D and I were basically obsessed with each other and spent most of our time together making out in my basement while my little brother and sister spied on us. When it came to hooking up, we had done everything but have sex… we were both still virgins and I was planning to stay that way for a little while longer. You would think that since we weren’t having sex, I wouldn’t have to worry about getting pregnant. You would be wrong.

See, I am a huge worrywart and a very panicky person. It’s a fun combination (JK). One month, my period was late. When I say late, I mean it was two days behind schedule. Despite the fact that my period had never been very consistent in the years since I’d started getting it, I went into full on freak-out mode. The week before, D and I been fooling around practically naked and, you know, stuff happened. I was convinced that I had somehow managed to get myself pregnant without actually having sex.

The third morning when my period didn’t appear, I panicked. I tried to calm myself down, but in my head I was like, “OMG I’m pregnant. Somehow, his sperm traveled into my vagina and fertilized an egg.” I had no idea how it could have happened, but in my freaked out state it seemed possible.

A quick Google search of “can I get pregnant without having sex” and “how long does sperm live once it hits the air” revealed that there actually is an incredibly low chance of getting pregnant without doing the deed. A very common belief is that sperm dies the second it hits the air, but that’s actually not true. As MayoClinic explains, “sperm ejaculated outside the body might survive in semen — the fluid released during ejaculation — up to a few hours.”

Source: ShutterStock

Of course, I immediately convinced myself that I could be pregnant. Never mind the fact that I had been wearing underwear at the time or that we had obviously cleaned things up pretty quickly or that there wasn’t even sperm near the place it needed to be. All rational thoughts flew out the window. In my mind, I was already pregnant. I was like the Virgin Mary, but modern and not holy, and I was going to have to explain to my child one day that I was still a virgin. Why would I have to explain this? Ask 16-year-old Jessica, because I don’t know.

Obviously, I faked sick, stayed home the entire day and cried. When my mom came home from work, she nagged me for hours about why I was upset. Finally, the stress of my unplanned pregnancy and the idea of disappointing everyone I’ve ever known and being a pregnant virgin got to me. I told her what was going on.

When I said I was late, she put her head in her hands. “You’re having sex?” she asked, sounding miserable.

“OMG Mom, no!” was my response. I mean, obviously.

She picked her head up and stared at me. “Then what are you talking about, Jessica?” she asked. The idea of telling my mom that my boyfriend and I had made out almost naked was horrifying. I shrugged and stopped answering questions. Finally she hissed, “Did his penis go inside of you?”

My mom asking me that was too much to handle. I screamed no and ran into the bathroom crying. My mom probably thought I was insane but she’s also a panicky person, so she went out and bought me a pregnancy test. As we waited for the test results, my mom told me she was going to have D arrested (she didn’t like him very much) and I told her that wasn’t possible and also that we were in love, so to leave him alone.

The test results were negative – obviously. I wasn’t pregnant. I was thrilled… my mom, not so much. The next day she made an appointment with a gynecologist to get me on birth control pills (she didn’t believe I was still a virgin, which was pretty infuriating). We never talked about it again, but all in all, it was the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done to myself in front of my mom. PS: I got my period the next morning.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Would you ever tell your mom about it if you did? Have you ever been worried about getting pregnant even if you haven’t had sex? Tell me in the comments.

Here’s what to do if you think you’re pregnant

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I couldn’t stop smiling looking at my seventh grade class project. | Source: ShutterStock

So I made it home to Vermont (take that Winter Storm Nemo)! I got in super late last night and couldn’t really sleep, so I started digging through my old desk. If you have not looked into the goldmine that is the corners of your closet or things shoved under your bed, I highly suggest that you do it.

Why? Because when you do, you find great gems like “My Life Timeline” which I made for a seventh grade class project. This was a real treasure of a find considering I wasn’t sure how I’d match up to my past self.

Well, I’m happy to admit that I actually did an okay job predicting the last decade or so! I did get a job while I was in high school, I went to college (though not the super specific one I listed on my timeline), and while I put that in my twenties I wanted to work for our local paper in Burlington, I actually did intern and write for them one summer while I was still in college.

Perhaps more surprising is that I’ve actually already done some of the things I had thought would happen way later in my life, like touring Europe or visiting my grandmother’s hometown in Ireland. On my timeline, those activities were going to happen at ages 77 and 82, respectively (I anticipate being a very active grandmother). It’s pretty cool how I followed through on those interests that started way back then.

One piece of my timeline particularly stood out to me. I was pretty obsessed with being a TV reporter in middle school, and all I wanted to do was host the Today Show. According to my life timeline, this was definitely going to happen when I was 32, under which I wrote, “To be on this, I need to work very hard.”

Even if at age 12 I didn’t really understand how the business world works, I still knew that goal was going to take work, but I wasn’t as overly concerned about making all the “right decisions” to get there. I just accepted that I could do these things, and I admire my little self’s total openness about my goals and dreams. I didn’t shy away from putting my dream job on there because it seemed like it could be too hard to achieve.

As I got older, I got more concerned with making the “right choices” and developed a little bit more of an eye-roll attitude. I guess I didn’t realize that I’ve been a little less open with people about all the stuff I want to accomplish because I’d get nervous thinking about if they didn’t all come true.

However, after taking a read from my middle school self, I realize that there’s nothing wrong with putting your dreams and goals out there without feeling like you have to micromanage every little step along the way from the get-go. It’s exciting to think about those goals in the distance and find your own path to get there.

I don’t really want to be a TV reporter anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still value working hard. Also, looking back on some of the other dreams that were important to me, it turns out that they are still my goals. For example, I’d still like to run a marathon (that’s slated for the year 2026) and write a children’s book (at a bookstore near you in 2033), and seeing it written down in all its colored pencil glory is kind of getting me psyched up again.

No matter what age you are, this could maybe be a fun project to just do (on a day when you’re snowed in, perhaps?) and just kind of forget it exists for awhile. It’s fun to look back later and see how you’ve changed (not only did I not buy a car at age 21, it turns out that I really hate driving and want to put off buying one as long as possible). Even more importantly for me though, it was a chance to rediscover things about myself that got a little lost along the way.

Have you ever found an old school project or letter from yourself? What was it like rediscovering it? Do you feel like you’re much different than you were in your earlier grades? Tell us in the comments!

Dear Teen Me: The Best Advice We’ve Ever Heard

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My friend and I got out there to show the boys how athletic we were! | Source: ShutterStock

Happy National Girls and Women in Sports Day! Didn’t know that was celebrated today? Well, don’t feel bad because even though I consider myself pretty sporty, I had no idea either.

It got me thinking about what women I look up to in the sports world. While there are definitely some famous athletes that I really admire, my role models for sports have always been way closer to home. For example, my freshman year of high school, I really looked up to the captain of my field hockey team. She motivated me and inspired me to work hard to become not only a great player, but a great leader, like her.

One time, I was actually inspired by a girl at my school who I barely even knew. My school had a conditioning program, which was technically open to any student, but since it was run by one of the football coaches, it was basically dominated by football players during the off-season. Still, I remembered seeing a girl  working out with those boys a while back, so when my friend and I were looking to stay in shape over the summer, we realized there was no reason we couldn’t follow in her footsteps and join also.

I remember being really nervous before we went for the first time. I didn’t know a lot of the boys who were in the program and I didn’t know how they would react to us being there. But you know what? The guys and coach were all really cool about us girls joining! It’s kind of sad that I expected some snarky remarks from them, but because I did know a lot of guys who always had some rude comment to make about my sports teams, I just expected it. Nope, these guys were athletes who respected athletes.

And believe me, my friend and I held our own! At first, we just kind of talked to ourselves, but as the weeks went on, we really become a part of the group. We all worked together, whether it was encouraging each other to do another set or pushing one another through sprints. We proved we were capable of keeping up and not afraid to take on any of the challenges, and they obviously respected us by not treating us like we were any less than the guys.

I felt pretty girl-power about our decision to join and stick with it. Thinking that historically many women didn’t have the opportunity to compete in sports, it was pretty cool that I could join a male-dominated athletics group now and nobody would really question it.

That said, even though girls were allowed to join at my school, something was keeping a lot of them from doing it. It’s super important to make it legal for girls to have the opportunity to play sports, but it also is necessary to take on the attitude that sometimes still remains that says girls sports are somehow inferior. I like to think back on joining that summer as one of my first little acts of feminism, and I’m glad it was a positive experience for me.

Maybe take a few minutes today to think about some awesome female athletes that you look up to. If it’s someone in your community, tell them! And you know what, maybe YOU are someone’s female athlete role model and you don’t even realize it!

Did you know today was National Girls and Women in Sports Day? Do you have any female athlete role models? Who are they? Tell us in the comments!

Take A Cue From Sporty Spice And Boost Your Self-Esteem!

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Pretty much me. | Source: ShutterStock

There are a lot of ways I embarrass myself on a daily basis – falling, crying in public, saying awkward things – but I think some of my worst embarrassing moments have happened due to my fear of spiders. I know that everyone says this, but guys, seriously: I’m really afraid of spiders.

This fear is nothing to joke about. When I say I’m afraid of spiders, I don’t just mean that they gross me out and I don’t really want to get close enough to one to kill them. No, I mean that spiders literally give me major anxiety, even enough for a panic attack or two. I’m not just afraid of spiders – I am genuinely terrified of them. From the way I feel about them, you would think they’re giant monsters taking over the world (actually, don’t even joke about that).

How often have I made a complete fool out of myself thanks to creepy, crawly spiders? Um, I lost count when I was, like, 11-years-old. It’s bad. My friends and family pretty much hate me for it. In my defense, I can’t always be held accountable for my actions. Most people don’t understand the anxiety spiders give me – they think my fear is more about dramatics. It’s hard to explain that knowing a spider is near me makes it difficult for me to breathe or think in a rational way. I literally have no control over myself. I’m giving you a rundown of my worst moments in the hope that I realize I am not alone.

One of the first times I hung out with my boyfriend, I spotted a spider on his ceiling while we were making out. (Side note, I have a sense about spiders. I ALWAYS know when they’re around. It’s terrible.) For 1.5 seconds, I contemplated attempting to be cool about it since I was still in that stage of trying to impress him. Then the spider moved closer and I decided, nope, being single isn’t so bad. I literally pushed him off of me, rolled/fell off the bed half-naked and started crawling towards the door, shrieking “Spider! SPIDER!” I might have started crying. After he killed it, things were weird, as he tried to decide whether or not I was clinically insane.

There are two times I can remember that I’ve managed to get my normally calm best friend seriously mad at me. One time, I was innocently driving home at around 2 in the morning when, BOOM, a freakin’ spider fell from the ceiling right in front of my face. I swerved my car to the side of the road, screamed my head off, jumped out of the car and danced around shaking my head and freaking out. When I looked in the car, it was crawling across the dashboard. I was in a terrible neighborhood but couldn’t imagine getting back in my car – so I called my best friend.

She trekked out into the freezing cold night to find me standing outside of my car considering whether I would rather be in the car with a spider or get mugged (getting mugged didn’t seem so bad). When she couldn’t find the spider, I made her drive my car back to my house so I could drive hers so I didn’t have to get in my car. She did it, vowed to make fun of me for the rest of my life, but on the plus side, won Best Friend Of The Year.

I don’t know how to deal. | Source: ShutterStock

Another time, we were in the middle of a long car ride when I spotted a spider crawling towards me faster than anything I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even know how to handle myself as it came closer, so I started hyperventilating and moving away until I literally was sitting on her lap… while she was driving. She screamed, “Jessica, GET OFF OF ME, you’re insane” and pulled over to yell at me. I deserved it, I almost killed us all. She barely spoke to me all weekend.

On a more serious note, I once had a legitimate panic attack thanks to a spider. I was home alone when I saw a huge, fuzzy black spider making it’s way across my bedroom ceiling. I ran out of the room screaming for help until I realized there was no one. I called my mom at work, hysterical. She tried to calm me down, but nothing was working. I have literally never felt so panicky in my life. I finally called my brother and begged him to come home from work to kill the spider for me. Once he got home, he found me crawled up in a ball downstairs, crying and shaking. It was so bad, he couldn’t even make fun of me. That’s a big deal for my brother.

Then there was that time I embarrassed myself in front of my entire homeroom class. In high school, there was this guy we’ll call O who thought my fear of spiders was hilarious. He tortured me constantly and loved to make me look like an idiot. One day, he put a very realistic looking fake spider in my desk. I sat down, opened it, saw the spider and all hell broke loose. I didn’t know it was fake, screamed like I was being murdered, everyone stared at me then started laughing, I immediately started crying and then I ran out of the school and went home for the day.

The weirdest part of that story? A few years later, O got in touch with me through Facebook saying he wanted to take me out. I still sort of hated him for the infamous spider incident but hesitantly agreed. O acted like a perfect gentlemen, and at the end of the night, he told me he had to take me out because, even years later, he still felt horrible about the spider prank. I guess it was kind of sweet.

I could go on for hours telling you about my embarrassing spider stories, but I won’t. I’m sort of getting creeped out – I keep looking around making sure there aren’t any watching me. I wish I could say my fear is getting better… but it’s totally not. So I want to know: have you ever done anything similar thanks to your fear?

What are you afraid of? Are you terrified of spiders also? Has your fear ever totally embarrassed you? Do you have some crazy stories? Tell me in the comments!

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My fear of failing terrified me – until I realized positive risks could pay off. | Source: Shutterstock.com

I don’t consider myself a big risk taker. Going sky diving? Never in a million years. Okay, so that’s a pretty big example of a risk, but even in my day-to-day life, sticking with “safe” options is what I tend to do.

A recent survey showed that 46 percent of teens said they were scared of failing and that having to take a risk to figure out a problem made them feel uncomfortable. On top of that, girls were more likely to feel this sort of discomfort or fear than boys. If you’re thinking, “Yup, that’s so me,” I can totally relate.

I always wanted to be right on the first try, so while I was scared of being wrong in all of my classes, it was particularly true in science with all those experiments – first with chemistry, then with physics. I also didn’t feel as interested in these classes, so I felt less confident and my fear of being wrong was even bigger.

I learned a ton from my science teachers, I worked really hard and I was happy with the grades I got. Looking back, I just should have put less pressure on myself to always be right in those science classes. I knew I was never going to become a scientist because that wasn’t my passion, so actually there was less of a reason to fear being wrong. However, what makes my story a little twisty is that this all led me to take the biggest risk I ever made in school. Spoiler alert: it was an awesome decision.

Here’s what happened. Senior year, I was supposed to take Advanced Placement Biology. I was dreading it, especially because I really wanted to take this contemporary history elective that now wouldn’t work with my schedule because of AP Bio, which I had to take.

I paused for a second - wait, why did I have to take it? Just because that’s what everyone else did after physics? In a moment of bravery, I denounced AP Bio, signed up for a different science class and secured a spot in that additional history class I wanted.

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Previously, I’d just followed along with the recommended courses, so straying from that path for the first time was definitely a risk for me. In addition, my parents had pretty high expectations when it came to school so I worried about how they were going to react. Would they judge my decision? Would my teachers? At my school, AP classes also counted for more in your GPA, so now I had one less boost to help me out. It all felt risky to potentially make a bad academic choice right at the start of such an important year. I didn’t want it to all blow up in my face.

So how’d my risk turn out? Well, that extra history class may not have had the Advanced Placement stamp on it, but it was way more valuable to me than sitting in a biology class that terrified and bored me. I knew I wanted to apply to journalism school and that history elective forced me to stay up to date on news and issues throughout the world. Before I knew it, the things I was learning about were the things I was talking about in my college interviews and essays, overall strengthening my applications. Plus, the science class I did take was AWESOME. We learned about topics like forensics and psychology that got me excited about science and trying new things.

If I hadn’t been brave enough to take a risk and go for that class instead of the usual path, I really believe that I wouldn’t have gotten into my college program. I just think the class made me learn so much about the world, but also myself, which made me a more confident college applicant. I do wish I’d been less afraid of being wrong during science classes in high school, because I think that would have made me enjoy them more. However, I will say that I am glad that when I wasn’t happy with them, I took a positive risk that went against the norm in an effort to make things better for myself.

There’s a difference between positive risk taking and just being totally reckless, but even positive risks won’t always end up working out. We fail at some things in life – which believe me, I have not fully accepted yet – and then we move on. Not every risk I take is going to be as stellar as that one I made senior year, but just the chance of knowing that something really awesome can come out a risk-taking experience, still reminds me to try and be a little bit more like 16 year-old me and not let the fear of failure keep me from taking a positive risk.

Do you feel scared to fail at things in school? How often would you say that you take positive risks? Do you think you would have made the same decision I did in school? Tell us in the comments!

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