I try not to watch too many funny videos on YouTube because then I wouldn’t get anything done with my day. But this one I couldn’t resist. Hart is a comedian with a pretty popular YouTube channel called Hartbeat. She’s super funny and great, so I highly recommend her.

Some commenters have called her out for not dressing more feminine. Basically, because Hart is a lesbian and likes women, she should dress like a woman. Um…what?

So Hart responded with the most awesome video of the day.

Hart OWNS the commenter and makes a hugely important point in the process. You can express yourself in whatever way you choose! Just because you’re a female doesn’t mean you have to dress feminine. I mean, I have guys’ clothes in my closet that I wear on the reg!

I hate that these stereotypes are still around! It’s 2013! Why are we trying to convince women to conform to the old whacked-out ideas of how a woman should look? Are women not allowed to wear the color blue because it’s not feminine enough? Heaven forbid we wear t-shirts!

You should dress however you want to dress and in whatever way you feel best expresses your personality. Even if it’s by wearing a watermelon bikini.

No one can tell you who to be or how you should act. The most important thing is that you are true to yourself. Take a lesson from Hart and just BE YOU.

What do you think about Hart’s response? Do you agree with her? Tell us in the comments!
 

Shop at thrift stores like Hayley if you want!

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The wrong bra size doesn’t just effect how your boobs look. As it turns out, wearing a bra that doesn’t fit you correctly can result in a whole slew of side effects that are really not fun. How do you know you were never fitted correctly? If you display any of these telltale signs below. If you still need a push to go out and get a serious bra fitting, read these 10 bad things that can happen when you wear the wrong size. You’ll thank me later, I’m sure.

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Headaches

Believe it or not, an ill-fitting bra can cause some seriously annoying headaches. If your bra is too tight, it causes tension on your shoulders, neck and back and that in turn can cause headaches.

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You Can Stretch Your Boobs Out

According to British research, a bra that is the wrong size can cause the ligaments to stretch, which can ultimately result in saggy boobs. Make sure your girls are getting enough support!

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Back Pain

If your bra is too big, that means that you're not getting enough support. And if you're not getting enough support, your boobs (especially if they're large) are going to start giving you back pain.

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Too-Tight Straps

If your bra is too big, you'll probably start tightening the straps so that your boobs get lifted up more. All this does is create ugly red marks in your shoulder that don't need to be there.

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Your Boobs Bulge Out

You know when your bra is too tight and your boobs start to bulge out and it looks really terrible and annoying? Yeah. Hate that.

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Back Bulge

If your bra is too tight, the back strap is going to be tight, which is going to cause some nice annoying bulge back there. If it's too loose, you're probably going to try to fix that by tightening in the straps. That means your bra strap rides up your back until it's seriously uncomfortable. Either way, you lose.

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Indigestion

I know this sounds weird, but it's true - the wrong size bra can cause stomach pain and indigestion. If the bra is too tight, it will dig into your ribs and upper stomach area, causing problems inside your body that you don't even realize.

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Bra Gaps

Gaps in between your bra and your boobs mean that your cup size is too big. This is more annoying than anything else and it just looks weird.

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Shoulder Pain

Remember how I said your straps being too tight result in red marks? Well, they also result in shoulder pain. It's so uncomfortable and so not worth it.

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Rib/Stomach Bulge

Again, a bra that's too tight only results in bulges. If the band is too tight, it's going to dig into your ribs and make your skin bulge out. Not comfortable and not fun.

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Do you think you’re wearing the wrong bra size? Have you ever been fitted? Where is your favorite place to buy bras? Tell me in the comments!

10 things that kind of suck because of my big boobs

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You know what I find funny? How everyone and their grandma is suddenly a nutritionist. I’m referring to the fact that people love to assume that every chubby person they see is incredibly unhealthy and knocking on death’s door.

We’re very used to the image of overweight people being sad, sedentary gluttons who gobble down soda, cookies, burgers, pizzas and ice cream in front of a television. With every other television show on the air focusing on weight loss, it can be a little hard not to assume that that is the case. But believe it or not, not every single overweight person has an unhealthy lifestyle.

Wow, shocking.

Even more “shocking” is the fact that you can’t look at somebody and automatically determine their health status. In fact, studies have shown that being overweight is not an automatic death wish! So why is it that someone can look at a chubby person walking down the street and assume they’re unhealthy, but not think twice about someone skinny walking along as well? For all we know, the overweight individual eats loads of fruits and veggies and exercises regularly, while the skinny person chain smokes and only eats Cheetos dust and Redbull.

Fat acceptance, a movement that hopes to deter anti-fat bias and societal norms, is growing in popularity, especially among young women and teen girls online. Fat acceptance isn’t about promoting unhealthy lifestyles or encouraging people to become fat; it is about fighting against prejudice and shame. And yet, among the people who begrudgingly accept the positive elements of fat acceptance, they still feel the need to say, “As long as you’re healthy…” To me, this translates to, “Well, okay, as long as you don’t look too fat. Well, okay, as long as you don’t feel too confident about those love handles.”

What is it with this society’s constant paternalistic monitoring of overweight people? Do we think that without our gentle reminders to eat plenty of apples, that they’ll immediately start to inhale taco after taco?  How condescending can we be? Those who feel the need to remind an overweight person interested in fat acceptance to be healthy are likely the same people who can’t quite process the fact that there are fat people out there who aren’t spending their free time sobbing on a scale.

Some people are overweight because of genetic factors, others because they eat a lot of food. But no matter why someone is overweight, it isn’t the business of a judgmental stranger who, frankly, doesn’t know anything about a fat person’s health beyond “they’re fat.”

Of course health shouldn’t be taken for granted. And of course there are diseases that are triggered by the side effects of being incredibly overweight. But there are thin and “normal sized” people with high cholesterol, and no stranger is making a blind judgement on their health status; that’s because they don’t look a certain way. If people are truly as invested in health as they claim to be, why are superficial assumptions always used to discuss it? If we want to have a serious discussion about health and eating we need to dig deeper, like discussing access to healthy foods in low-income neighborhoods. If we want to be have a serious discussion about poor eating habits, then we need to talk about the poor eating habits of every sized person, not just fat people.

Seriously, overweight people have to deal with enough problems in our society without having strangers give them a visual physical exam.

Do you think health is always determined by weight? What do you think about fat acceptance? Tell us in the comments!

Do You Engage In Fat Talk? Here’s Why You Need To Stop

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I have a love/hate relationship with high heels. I love that they make me look taller (because I’m short) and that they lift up my butt. I also love that they instantly make me look and feel more glamorous. But I hate, hate, hate how much they hurt. Wedges, I can deal with. I can rock a pair of platform wedges all day with little to no uncomfortable feelings. But anything else? Ouch.

And, apparently, more than just “ouch.” Yet another study has come out to warn women against the dangers of wearing high heels on a regular basis. Those sky-high stilettos may look amazing and may make you feel sexy right now, but in a few years or sooner, you’ll probably regret that decision to wear them. Can your shoes make you sick? Yes, they can. And don’t assume this isn’t affecting you – this new study says that the younger you are, the worse it can be.

This study shows that nine out of ten women who wear high heels have experienced problems with their feet at some point in their lives. Nine out of ten! In case you’re bad at math (don’t feel bad, me too), that’s 90 percent and that’s a lot.

So how are high heels basically ruining your lives? Besides the fact that they feel incredibly painful (also according to this study, you start to feel the pain after an hour and six minutes, but trust me, if you’re wearing 5-inch heels, you’ll feel it after five minutes), they’re also doing real and serious damage to your feet, especially if they don’t fit you properly. This new research also found that a third of the women involved in the study admitted to wearing heels that were too small because they looked good but weren’t available in their size. Eek. No good, ladies.

Podiatrist Mike O’Neill told the Daily Mail that trying to squeeze your feet into shoes that are clearly too small for you can cause damage like arthritis, stress fractures and trapped nerves. If this doesn’t sound like a big deal, consider the fact that these things can eventually require surgery. So, it’s a pretty big deal.

Single sole heels – cute, but deadly. Sort of. | Source: ShutterStock

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. Wearing heels shortens the Achilles tendon in your foot, which in turn causes you a lot of pain when you try to wear flat shoes. Once you start wearing heels a lot, not even comfy flats can save you! Heels can also cause icky things like corns, cracked heels, Athlete’s foot and bunions. And, as this study shows, a lot of women don’t even pay attention to these pains. 20 percent of women never get medical help because they assume it’s no big deal – it’s just part of wearing heels.

How does this work? Here’s what’s happening when you wear high heels, in the words of Mike O’Neill: “The higher the heel, the more they tilt your body forward and the more you have to lean back to compensate. This can put your pelvis out of alignment and cause compression of the spine. High heels ram your foot forward, which squishes your toes together and can cause ingrown toe nails, rough areas of skin, blemishes and calluses.”

Love the extra height a heel gives you? O’Neill points out that platforms and wedges are much better for you since these kinds of heels keep your feet more even than, say, stilettos. I know, I know – the trend for the summer is single sole heels (basically, not platforms). Every single fashion magazine I’ve read in the last few months has had an article praising single sole heels, as if trying to convince all the women out there, as well as themselves, that they are, in fact, better than platforms. Writers say, “They’re more elegant!” “They make your legs look less clunky!” “They’re classic.” Okay, guys, I get it. But they’re not better than platforms and you’ll never convince me of that. They’re uncomfortable and they’re painful and I don’t want bunions.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll be sticking to my platforms and wedges and I suggest you do the same. Unless, you know, you don’t want to wear heels at all. Good for you! Seriously. I’m sure in twenty years, we will all be extremely jealous of your beautiful feet. Also, one more suggestion: don’t buy heels that are too small on you. You’re asking for pain.

Do you wear high heels a lot? Do you like wearing heels? Do you wear platforms and wedges or stilettos and single sole shoes? Are you going to stop? Tell me in the comments! 

Find out why one girl refuses to wear high heels

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Tattoos are a big deal! I mean, once you get one, it’s not coming off. Making the decision to get a tattoo requires a lot of thought. There are people who will get one on a whim, but most of the people I know that have done so often regret it.

I have three tattoos, and I knew I wanted each one for well over a year before I decided to get it done. That may seem like a long time, but I don’t regret any of them. I love all of my ink!

Since I’ve been around the block a few times, I kind of know what I’m doing. If you’re thinking about getting a tattoo, you should read through these steps first.

Click through for your complete guide to getting a tattoo!

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It occurs when brain chemicals known as neurotransmitters are less active in areas of the brain dedicated to attention. How this happens is currently unknown, but most scientists agree that–like several other mental disorders–genetics plays a significant factor; ADHD runs in families.

ADHD is actually a spectrum containing primarily inattentive ADHD (commonly referred to as Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD) and primarily hyperactive/impulsive  ADHD. Hyperactive/Impulsive type symptoms include restlessness, difficulty doing quiet activities, excessive talking and racing thoughts, reckless behavior and a tendency to frequently interrupt others. Inattentive type is usually marked by chronic procrastination, poor time management, difficulty initiating and completing tasks and poor attention to detail or complex instructions.

A diagnosis is generally made through a series of evaluations containing questions about your history/performance performing everyday tasks and dealing with various situations. For children, these symptoms must occur for over six months prior to diagnosis, in adults it must be present since childhood. The symptoms must also occur in more than one setting, not only school and not only at home. Most people who are diagnosed with ADHD maintain these symptoms into adulthood.

ADHD is a lifelong disorder, but symptoms may be controlled with the help of stimulant medications. Yeah, it sounds a bit contradictory to provide a stimulant for ADHD, but research has shown that stimulant medication helps aid concentration by balancing out brain chemicals. While medications can help, ADHD often has a negative effect on self-esteem and confidence. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is used as an outlet for those who suffer from these problems to seek advice. These sessions can also include workshops dedicated to helping improve organizational skills and routines.

So, here’s the thing: I have inattentive-type ADHD. I was diagnosed with inattentive-type ADHD at the tender age of 21. Yeah, a little late, right? Well, apparently it’s not that uncommon for women to be diagnosed as adults. In fact, girls are diagnosed an average of 5 years after boys are diagnosed. Why? Well, women tend to have inattentive-type ADHD. Remember when I said that ADHD is often associated with hyper boys? Think about it, who is a teacher more likely to notice: A boy who can’t seem to stop fidgeting, or a well-behaved girl who is a little too spacey? Inattentive-symptoms are less obvious than hyperactive ones. Since girls usually have inattentive symptoms, they’re less likely to be diagnosed. It’s no wonder that so many girls fall fall through the cracks even when their symptoms are so prevalent. Over 50% of girls with ADHD don’t even know that they have it. That’s why I can’t help but tune out the perpetual concern trolling surrounding cries of over-diagnosis of ADHD when these conversations are so obviously about boys and so many girls are under-diagnosed and struggling.

I managed to remain under the radar for so long because I didn’t fit most people’s idea of what ADHD is. Despite my constant tardiness, chronic procrastination and trouble starting and completing projects, I managed to cope with my ADHD for over a decade while undiagnosed. I’m intelligent and generally performed well academically, but my grades were never consistent. It was so tough to suffer in silence and not know why I couldn’t focus, wondering why it took me so much longer than others to complete tasks and relying on elaborate excuses as to why I didn’t finish assignments; it took a serious emotional toll on me. My symptoms were as clear as day on all of my grade reports, but how can I expect someone to see them if they don’t know what to look for?

It’s for these reasons that I think that more people, especially parents and those in the academic field, need to be aware of how non-hyperactive ADHD manifests, especially in girls and women. Nobody should be left in the dark.

If you think that you might have ADHD, try to seek an official diagnosis from a medical professional. And please, if you have a friend with ADHD, don’t ask to use their Adderall to study for your finals. Don’t be that person.

Do you have ADHD? What can be done to spread awareness? Tell us in the comments!

What Is Trichotillomania? My Lifelong Struggle With Pulling My Hair

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Who else remembers that scene from Mean Girls when Cady hangs out with Regina, Gretchen and Karen for the first time? Regina, Gretchen and Karen are just casually looking in the mirror when they start ripping themselves apart, saying things like, “God, my hips are huge,” “Oh please, I hate my calves,” and the more ridiculous, “My nail beds suck.” Cady is totally confused and silent until they all look at her and she realizes that she needs to insult herself also, so she offers up a weak, and way too personal, “I have really bad breath in the morning.”

The scene is undoubtedly funny – but if you really pay attention to it, it’s also kind of sad. That’s because the reason the scene is so funny is because it’s relatable. How many of us have found ourselves in this exact same situation, insulting ourselves in front of friends because they insulted themselves first? I can’t even be a hypocrite and say I’ve never done it, because I have. Girls, this needs to stop. 

One of the most common ways of doing this is engaging in some good ole’ fashion fat talk. By fat talk I mean you and your friends sitting around complaining about how “fat” you all are. A lot of us do it and while it may seem like a harmless and very weird way to bond, it’s actually really, really hurting our self-esteem. I mean, is it any surprise that criticizing our own body in front of others is making us actually hate the way we look?

The topic was discussed on The Today Show recently and one psychologist called this kind of fat talk “disastrous.” She says that pointing out your “flaws” and talking badly about yourself is ruining your self-esteem and calls it “body bashing.” And she’s right – fat talk sucks! We don’t like when others talk badly about our bodies, so why do we feel like it’s okay to bash our bodies ourselves?

Not only is this horrible for our self-esteem and our confidence, but it’s also pretty annoying. Think about it: do you really like hearing your friend, who you think is gorgeous, complain about how fat she thinks she is? Um, no! It’s frustrating to hear because even when you try to tell her she’s wrong, she argues with you about it! It’s a lose-lose situation. No one likes to hear others bring themselves down – honestly, it comes off as kind of pathetic and a little desperate.

Don’t be like Cady.

So why do girls fat talk even though no one actually enjoys it? I think these are the major reasons:

Your friends are doing it and you feel like you have to join in. When all of your friends are whining about how fat they are, are you going to sit there silently or join in? Probably join in. But you don’t have to! You should never feel like you need to put yourself down for other people.

You feel ashamed of being confident/don’t know how to take a compliment. It’s practically a fact that the majority of women have trouble accepting compliments. How many times do you hear a version of this conversation: Friend 1: “You look so great in that dress!” Friend 2: “Ugh, I think my legs look gross, though!” Here’s how it should go: Friend 1: “You look so great in that dress!” Friend 2: “Thank you!” Simple.

You’re looking for a compliment. Sometimes when we say something like, “I’m soooo fat,” we’re waiting for our friend to be like, “No, you’re gorgeous!” Why? That little compliment feels good. But wouldn’t you rather get real compliments out of nowhere instead of having someone compliment you because they feel like they have to?

It’s an easy way to “bond.” Fat talk has been around FOREVER, unfortunately. And, also unfortunately, it’s an easy way to get girls talking to each other. Putting yourselves down almost makes you feel like you’re bonding, in a sick and weird way.

Whatever the reason behind your fat talk, you need to stop. Don’t be apart of this self-esteem ruining epidemic any longer! Fat talk is not as innocent as it seems – it’s making you feel crappy about yourself and guess what? That feels really, well, crappy. It’s not cool to put yourself down – it’s cool and inspiring to love yourself and accept your body. You should never feel like it’s a bad thing to be too confident. I mean, I’m not going to advise you to run around telling everyone how amazing and gorgeous you are, but a healthy dose of confidence can only be a good thing.

Do you ever engage in fat talk with your friends? What do you say when your friend says she’s fat? Does this make you feel worse about yourself? Tell me in the comments.

Scared to wear a bikini or be naked? Read this!

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But I’m sure some of you simply scoff at this notion of body positivity and you want some real advice on how to achieve the perfect, socially acceptable bikini body to hit the beach this summer. Well, this is the lazy girl’s guide for you. Follow our steps for achieving the perfect bikini body.

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Cocoon Yourself

You'll definitely fulfill society's beauty standards by the time that you emerge from a short stay in your own cocoon. It works for butterflies, so it should work for us too. We're all animals, that's how science works I think.

Source: Shutterstock

One Bite Only

You know those Carl's Jr commercials where all these models eat these massive burgers for the pleasure of the male gaze? Well, that seems to be working out perfectly for them, so just eat one bite of a giant burger every day. You'll feel your hotness flourishing with every bite.

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Shrink

When you put your clothes in the dryer for too long they shrink, right? Well, you can achieve the same level of socially acceptable tininess if you do the same thing. Just make sure you wear protective heat like a helmet and some elbow/knee pads.

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Get Shipwrecked

Destiny's Child found themselves stranded on a deserted island with nothing more than the clothes on their back and a million dollar film budget when they made their music video for "Survivor." And they looked hotter than ever! So get shipwrecked and wait for the magic to happen.

Source: YouTube

Become A Walking Cover Girl

If you can't have the perfect beach body, at least tape loads of photos of perfect beach bodies to yourself. There's nothing like being plastered in photos of skinny women to make you feel like a winner.

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You Are What You Eat

Consider light cannibalism. I mean, you are what you eat, right? If you eat babes, you'll become a babe. Again, that's totally how science works.

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Tan Tan Tan

The crispier, the better; the more leathery looking, the hotter. Consider forgoing sunscreen and defiantly forget about common sense. Burnt orange is the new black. If you can schedule a trip to the sun, book it ASAP.

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Get A Body Double

Body doubles are used all the time in action movies and sex scenes. Why not get in on the benefits? Your body double will fool everyone into thinking that you have body that is allowed to be seen in a bikini.

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Get Some Tats

If you tattoo a bikini onto your skin, then you'll technically always have a bikini body. You can just get a touch up to reflect current trends! Bonus points for tattooing some awesome cleavage.

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Just Wear A Bikini

If you've done all of these steps and still haven't achieved the perfect bikini body, so what? What is the perfect bikini body anyway? Whatever some awful thinspiration blog tells you? Wear a bikini and be the hottie that you already are!

Source: Shutterstock

What do you think of these tips? What else are we pressured to do to meet society’s standards? Tell us in the comments!

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Buying My First Bikini
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For anyone who has ever experienced serious anxiety, you already know that it’s very real and very scary. To put it bluntly, anxiety sucks. The fears you have can prevent you from really living your life and, on top of that, you also have to deal with people who think you’re just being dramatic. If you’ve ever found yourself missing out on things due to your anxiety, then I’m sure you’ve wondered about how to get rid of anxiety. Well, good news: psychologists and doctors have found a better way to treat anxiety and it’s something you definitely need to know about.

The treatment itself isn’t exactly new – it’s exposure therapy and it’s basically about facing your fears. However, psychologists say that kids dealing with crippling fears shouldn’t just be exposed to their fears by doctors… their parents should also take a more interactive role as “exposure coaches.” After a few studies were done on different kinds of anxiety treatments, doctors found that slowly exposing people to things that make them anxious is very effective if it’s been done early on in treatment.

Basically, it works like this: you work with a doctor to do some intensive exposure therapy. But instead of then going home and going back to avoiding your fears on your own, you have your parents assist with the therapy. Your parents should be exposing you to your fears also and checking in with your doctor on a pretty regular basis. This may not sound super groundbreaking (after all, we’ve all heard about how we have to face our fears at least one million times), but it’s still a really important method of therapy. Why? There are a lot of parents out there who help their kids hide from their fears. That’s not because they want to hurt their children – it’s because they want to protect them.

You can’t really blame parents for wanting to protect their loved ones, but doctors say that helping someone hide from their fears isn’t helping. All it does is make your fear seem less manageable and more scary. Hiding from a fear gives your fear so much more hype than it actually deserves – avoidance doesn’t help you get over things over time, it just helps you become more anxious.

Now, I know this is easier said than done, believe me. I’ve dealt with anxiety most of my life. I’ve been a shy girl all my life and while I can talk lightly about it now, it used to be something that literally took over my life. I was terrified of being the center of attention and one of my biggest fears was speaking in front of a class. Whenever I heard that we had to do a solo class presentation, I immediately freaked out. I would spend the weeks leading up to my presentation worrying about what could go wrong while I was giving mine. The night before a presentation, I would cry myself to sleep and make myself feel sick to my stomach. All day leading up to my presentation, I would sit in each class, paralyzed in fear, not speaking and barely blinking. It sounds dramatic, but doing class presentations gave me genuine anxiety.

Trust me, you don’t want this happening to you. | Source: ShutterStock

How did I get over this fear? By speaking up more in class, thanks to encouragement from my parents. When I was in college, I had to take a speech communications class for my major. The first day of class, my professor explained how the majority of our work would be class presentations. I ran home and told my mom I needed to drop the class. She convinced me to stick with it, saying that this type of thing would only help me get over my fear. And guess what? It worked. After the first two presentations, talking in front of my class got easier and easier. By the end of the course, I was barely blushing while I was standing up there.

I’ll be honest, speaking in front of others still isn’t my favorite thing – but I can now do it without losing sleep for a full week beforehand. And I think that I owe that to exposure therapy. In fact, I know I do – I have a phobia of spiders that only gets worse the more I avoid them (I wrote about it here!). I am so afraid of spiders that the other day when I saw one in my car, I crawled into the backseat and hopped out of the car, leaving it running in the middle of the street. I stay far away from them and have built up this idea of spiders that only gets worse the more I avoid them.

So if you have anxiety, I really encourage you to try exposure therapy. Facing your fears is never going to be easy – in fact, it may be one of the hardest things you ever do – and it doesn’t work overnight. But over time, it will help. And I know you may not love the idea of going to your parents for help, but use them as exposure coaches! Facing your fears will be easier to do if you have someone by your side. Don’t let anxiety take over your life. Using exposure therapy to get rid of anxiety helps you realize that your fears aren’t as bad as you made them out to be. You’ll realize that you can deal with them… and that you’re a lot stronger than you thought!

Do you deal with anxiety? What gives you anxiety? How do you deal with your anxiety? Would you be willing to try exposure therapy and use your parents as exposure coaches? Tell me in the comments. 

Do you have Trichotillomania? 

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Ultimately, body hair is a very personal decision for everyone and it’s nobody’s business but our own.

Recently we’ve written about ingrown hair and Brazilian waxes, so we decided to highlight 10 discussion worthy comments from you, our awesome readers, about body hair.

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What do you think about body hair? Do you think that there is too much pressure on women to be hairless? Do you embrace your body hair? Tell us now in the comments!

Your Complete Guide On Body Hair Removal
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