Sexual assault is not your fault. | Source: Shutterstock

Reports say that 20 to 25 percent of women and girls will be the victim of some form of sexual assault. That’s one in four or one in five. It could be you, it could be your best friend, your sister, or your cool aunt. The scary thing is, the number may be even higher than that because so many assaults are unreported, leaving victims to deal with it on their own and leaving perpetrators to roam the streets and claim more victims. This makes Sexual Assault Awareness Month in 2012′s theme all the more important: It’s time to talk about it.

Why are girls afraid to speak up? They feel ashamed, they’re traumatized and just want to put it behind them, they blame themselves, or they think people won’t believe them.

Here’s the thing, girls: It is never your fault! Wearing a skirt does not mean you were asking for it. Flirting with a guy at a party doesn’t obligate you to sleep with him. Passing out doesn’t mean you consented. Drinking and doing drugs can blur your judgment and make consent issues very, very dangerous–but even if you’re under the influence, no is no, and legally an intoxicated person cannot give consent. Even saying yes at first, then telling the guy no and having him not listen is considered non-consensual.

Fair enough, but you’re probably thinking: How does talking help? Well, first of all, talking about sexual assault can help survivors realize they’re not alone, and can encourage other girls and women to come forward to report attacks.

Talking about physical boundaries and consent in relationships can help, too, since How do you talk about consent with the guy you like? Isn’t that an awkward conversation that can kinda kill the mood? Here’s the thing: If the guy isn’t a scumbag, it won’t bother him to talk things out with you. Voicing consent lets each of you know exactly what the other wants, so you’re both more likely to have an enjoyable experience–it’s hard to stay in the moment when you’re so worried about where his hands are wandering, and he’s probably afraid of getting slapped if he tests your limits (and, ladies, he should be).

You won't have to stress if you're prepared and know what to do in case of an assault. | Source: Shutterstock

Talking things out can prevent so many problems from occurring–and they can help remedy issues that have already gone down. If partners talk openly about sex and what they are and aren’t willing to do, we can diminish sexual violence. Similarly, if victims of sexual violence feel like they’re not alone, they will be more likely to speak up, which can help healing and prevent their attackers from striking again.

If you or someone you know are a victim of sexual assault, find help here. For more information on Sexual Assault Awareness Month, click here.

Are you recognizing Sexual Assault Awareness Month? What are you doing to mark Sexual Assault Awareness Month? Let us know in the comments.

Need Tips On How To Talk About Sex With Your Partner?

So, this week, Lena got a message from a girl who asked if it was okay for girls to masturbate. Lena’s response? Hells yeah, it’s okay! In fact, masturbation is awesome. Some people are confused and think it’s wrong or that masturbation is a sin, but it’s not. It’s safest kind of sex (you’re not going to get pregnant or get any STDs!) and a healthy way to explore your sexuality on your own terms. Lena goes on to bust some popular masturbation misconceptions and give you all the info, confidence, and reassurance you need before getting down with yourself.

Do you have a sexy question for us? Leave it in the comments!

What Should You Do If He Won’t Wear A Condom? We’ve Got Answers!

No one’s body is perfectly symmetrical and for some girls, that lopsidedness is in the boobal region. One of those girls wrote into Lena asking if she should tell her guy that her boobs are different sizes before they get hot and heavy. She doesn’t want him to laugh at her mismatched cups! Lena answers with a reassuring “Don’t sweat it!” Lopsided boobies are nothing to worry about and Lena explains why no boy in his right mind would make anyone feel weird about a pair of mismatched boobs.

What do you think? Do you like Lena’s advice? Do you have mismatched boobs? Tell us in the comments!

What If Your Guy Won’t Wear A Condom? Here’s Advice!

What should you do when your partner doesn’t want to use a condom, but you do? Lena guides you through this touchy situation with reminders on why condoms are non-negotiable and how to keep safety your number one priority. Safe sex is the sexiest kind of sex. Take Lena’s tips on how to have safe sex, and you’ll both be happy you did!

Think about this article before you go any further...

Close to 2,800 American teens get pregnant every day, which means that about four in ten women will be pregnant at least once before their 20th birthday. But it’s not just pregnancy that you have to think about. Don’t forget about sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Each year, one in four sexually active teens gets an STI.

So what can you do to make sure you stay healthy and safe? We’re here to help you answer that question. First, read the birth control chart (on the next page!)  to learn about the many different types of precautions you can take while having sex. Then, find out where to get the protection you want and how to have those important talks with the people you love.

Sex can be great—it’s fun, it’s special and it’s natural. But it’s always better when you are informed and confident in your choices. Read on, girls!

Do you know the truth about HPV?

Whether you’ve got some sexy times planned, or just want to be protect yourself in the long run, you’ve gotta know how to stay healthy in the bedroom–and you can’t always believe what your friends say about sexual health. HPV is one of the most mysterious and hard to pin-down sexually transmitted infections out there, and there’s a ton of misinformation flying around. We’ve rounded up the top five myths about HPV, and the real facts every gURL needs to know.

1. If my honey doesn’t show any signs of HPV, I can’t catch it from them.

False! Although the most obvious sign of HPV is warts or bumps around the genitals, both guys and girls can have HPV without showing any outward sign of it and there’s no perfect medical test for the virus. If your partner has ever had sexual contact with another person they could have HPV and not even know it.

2. Only skanky girls get HPV.

So not true! Even virgins can get HPV the first time they ever have sexual contact with a girl or a guy. In fact, you don’t even have to have full intercourse to get the virus–it can be spread through oral sex and genital rubbing, too.

3. If somebody has cold sores, it means they’ve got HPV.

Nope! Cold sores are caused by the herpes virus, which isn’t exactly something you want–but it’s totally different from the Genital Human Papillomavirus (HPV). That said? You still might want to postpone any lip-locking until those icky sores go away.

4. You should only get the HPV vaccine if you’re already having sex.

Wrong! You can totally get the vaccine if you’ve already been sexually active, but docs recommend getting HPV shots before you’re sexually active if possible, so you’ll be covered from the very first time you have sex. Ultimately, you should ask your doctor what they think is best for you–and don’t be embarrassed to bring it up, here or she will be glad you asked!

5. A condom will protect me from every STI, including HPV.

Sad but untrue! Of course condoms are a must-have, but since HPV is transmitted from skin-to-skin contact, it’s still possible that you could get HPV from part of your partner’s genital area not covered by the condom. The vaccine really is your best protection on this one.

WDYT, gURLs? Have you heard any other myths about HPV? Have you been been told you have HPV? Do you know anyone with HPV? Have you been vaccinated? And what do you think about guys getting vaccinated? Discuss below.

Whether you went through puberty years ago, haven’t even really thought about it yet, or are going through it right this minute, it’s important to understand what exactly changed/is changing in your body. Check out these facts about what exactly is going on, why there’s hair growing down there, and even how a guy’s body is changing. We’re pretty sure you’ll find answers to tons of your questions right here.

S & M is short for sadism and masochism.

Masochism is sexual arousal or satisfaction from enduring pain. This can include a variety of things, some of which are: being tortured, bound, tickled or having hot wax poured on the body. Often the two (sadism and masochism) are partnered together, where one person inflicts the pain and the other receives.

An erection

Erections are a reflex–meaning not within a person’s control–so a cause can’t always be identified. Anything from a brush of fabric to the need to urinate can cause an erection, but most often, erections occur as a response to sexual thoughts or stimulation.