But what is depression, and how do you know if you’re depressed or just pretty sad? Doctors use a checklist to diagnose depression (yes, doctors, because it’s a medical condition!), and it’s a handy one to refer to if you think you or someone you care about might be battling depression. The nine things they look for are:

* A bummed out mood during most of the day, particularly in the morning like you can’t bear the idea of getting out of bed

* Feeling exhausted or just really sluggish almost every day

* Feeling guilty or like you don’t matter almost every day

* Not being able to concentrate or make a decision

* Gaining or losing a lot of weight

* Weird sleeping patterns, like not being able to sleep or sleeping way more than usual almost every day

* Feeling restless

* Not being able to enjoy stuff you used to really like

* Any thoughts of death or suicide

First off, if you even for a second think about hurting yourself or ending your life, STOP and call a help line like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). Your life is important, even if you don’t think so right now. You do not have to face this alone.

And if you haven’t ever thought about hurting yourself, but still match up with lots of things on that list, talk to someone. Anyone. Your teacher. Your dad. A counselor or even your boss. If you are, in fact, clinically depressed, you could be feeling a lot better if you reached out and got some help. Your smile is too pretty to go into hiding like this, girl.

Seeing A Therapist Doesn’t Have To Suck

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School’s a source for anxiety of all types – it’s hard to concentrate on already-difficult work if people are gossiping. | Source: Shutterstock

Anxiety can be felt both emotionally and physically. Some of us say it feels like butterflies in our stomachs. some of us get sweaty palms, feel our hearts pounding, our fingers tremble, we can’t sit still, we even want to cry or yell. Generally, we have the anxiety for a short period of time, and although it’s annoying, we get through it and move on–it’s a normal part of life. But sometimes anxiety isn’t such a small thing.

Facts about anxiety:

* Symptoms of anxiety that are beyond what the typical person experiences can include: constantly feeling anxious for no reason, worrying about everyday things, panic to a degree where you can’t get through normal events (like a test, completing homework, or even a peaceful family dinner), or a general feeling of doom.

* When anxiety gets to a really high point, some people get panic attacks, which is a situation in which anxiety becomes so overwhelming that it temporarily, and completely, takes control. Panic attacks can be really scary, so much so that some people who experience them become afraid to go out, period. It’s most common to begin experiencing panic attacks between the ages of 15-19.

* Girls are twice as likely to experience anxiety than boys. Studies show it may be because of cultural stressors like body image and the expectation to people-please. One study revealed that of high school seniors, nearly 4 out of 10 girls (compared to fewer than 2 in 10 boys) reported being “frequently overwhelmed.” Among college students seeking mental health services on campus, 60 percent are female.

* Most of us experience social anxiety at some point – like going to a party where you barely know anyone and feel shy or awkward – but some people are so fearful of doing something embarrassing in front of others that they aren’t comfortable in public or with strangers, period. This is called Social Anxiety Disorder, and can isolate people with it because they feel too self-conscious to interact.

* Sometimes anxiety affects our bodies as well as our minds. Common physical problems stemming from anxiety include chest pain, headaches, tiredness, tight muscles, stomachaches, or vomiting. Using drugs, alcohol, or tobacco can worsen this.

* While short-term anxiety can be caused by everyday events like homework or an upcoming date, some people suffer from long-term anxiety caused by trauma in their past, like an assault, a natural disaster, or having someone important die. This anxiety, called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, can last years if not dealt with.

Supportive friends can make an enormous difference in lessening anxiety. | Source: Shutterstock

* If you think you might have a serious problem with anxiety, TELL SOMEONE. A parent or other relative, teacher, coach, or religious figure may be able to help. See a doctor to check if the anxiety may be related to a health problem, and make sure you’re eating healthily and getting enough sleep. If using relaxation skills like the ones above don’t help, consider talking to a therapist who specializes in anxiety.

Do you ever have anxiety? When do you feel most anxious, and what do you do to calm yourself down? Tell me in the comments!

Are You Depressed?

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Being organized doesn't mean you have OCD. | Source: Shutterstock

Here are a few facts on what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder really is:

* OCD is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (those are the obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (those are the compulsions). Carrying out the behaviors to get rid of the thoughts will only provide temporary relief for people with OCD. People with compulsive behaviors are often aware that their behavior is detrimental to their lives, but still can’t stop their actions.

* OCD symptoms usually appear before a person is 30 years old.

* Symptoms include: Obsessions or compulsions that are not due to medical illness or drug use, and cause major distress or interfere with everyday life.

Excessive hand washing is a common compulsion. | Source: Shutterstock

*Treatments include medications and therapy, particularly exposure therapy, where the person with OCD is repeatedly exposed to situations in which the obsessive thoughts occur, then learns to deal with the thoughts. With treatment, people with OCD can make huge improvements, which will allow them to live with a lot less stress.

If you think you may have OCD, don’t be afraid to talk to a doctor or therapist. Starting with a parent or guidance counselor at school could help if you don’t know what to do. This site also has plenty of resources.

Do you know anyone with OCD? Do you ever joke about having OCD, but know that you’re just super organized? Tell me what’s what in the comments!

Do You Know Someone Who Hurts Herself? Here’s Help

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There are so many other ways to cope. | Source: Shutterstock

Self harm is obviously destructive, but it serves many purposes for those who engage in it: it’s a way to make emotional pain physical and easier to deal with, it’s a way to force out some sort of feeling, it’s a way to calm down, it’s a way to bring themselves back to the here and now. And while harming may start as a quick way to find relief, it’s likely to become a habit: much like alcoholics and drug addicts, who find that they can evade feelings or thoughts by getting drunk or high, harmers do so because it brings temporary relief. The thing is, once someone learns it works, they may want to use it as a quick fix again and again, until they’ve managed to not deal with your feelings and problems at all, and may not even remember how.

Now that you know a little, here are a few more facts about self harm to ponder:

* Studies suggest that about 13 to 25 percent of teens and young adults surveyed in schools have some history of self-injury, even if they’ve only done it once or twice.

* The average age for people who self-harm is 14-16; but self harm habits affect people of all ages.

* Self harm frequently goes hand-in-hand with eating disorders.

Self harm is one of the most severe punishments: your mom can ground you, your coach can bench you, your teacher can fail you, your friends can be mad at you, but when we’re already our own worst critics, hating yourself goes above and beyond what’s healthy. Harmers often take events (a low grade on a test, an argument with a parent) and turn them into proof that, as a whole, they are “A Bad Person,” or a total failure.

Once someone is focused on harming herself or himself, it can be very hard to change mindsets, because the thought can be extremely consuming, and the desire for the action overwhelming. Because self harm is so addictive, it’s also really hard to stop doing. However? It’s totally possible to get help and recover from self harming habits. The key to avoiding self harm is to prepare to do anything else in its place before the thought to hurt yourself even occurs. Avoid situations that make you want to harm, if possible. Make a list of alternatives to harming yourself (call a friend, punch or yell into a pillow, listen to music that doesn’t make you feel mad or sad, write in a journal, watch a funny TV show, go for a run, throw ice cubes at the sidewalk, draw, anything that you find distracting). Keep that list handy. When you get upset with yourself, ask yourself questions about how realistic your thinking is: don’t generalize a single incident (say, forgetting to call your friend back or doing your homework incorrectly) into “I can’t do anything right.”

More than anything, when you feel like self harming, talk to someone you trust: a parent or other family member, a friend, a teacher, your school counselor. And if you’re the one a harmer is talking to, be patient. Expecting to change this person’s mind completely or stop the harming immediately isn’t going to happen. Be empathic. You can see the detriment self harm is causing, but your friend might not be able to–-yet. If you feel like you’re in over your head, it’s okay to suggest your friend may want to talk to an adult, or a therapist.

If you are harming yourself, remember that emotions are temporary – you may feel very bad right now, but it will pass – and that learning to deal with emotions is going to help you throughout your life, even though learning to look your pain in the eye is going to be a difficult process. You are worth more than you think, and you deserve help. Take a chance and reach out.

Do you know anyone who deals with self harm? What would you do if you found out a friend was hurting herself? Talk about it in the comments.

Dealing With Something Heavy? Read This. It Might Help.

It can be hard to separate the myths from the realities about autism, which has been described as an epidemic. | Source: Shutterstock

What is autism? Autism is a brain development disorder that was originally estimated to affect one in every 110 kids in the U.S. every year, but new reports suggest that the actual figures may be close to one in every 88. It’s unclear whether this is because more kids are being affected by the disorder or if there’s just been improvements in testing for autism, which would lead to more correct diagnoses.

Actress, model, and author Jenny McCarthy draws awareness to autism through her work, inspired by her son. | Source: Shutterstock

One common misconception about autism is that autistic children and adults are unintelligent. This couldn’t be further from the truth, as most autistic people have IQs of 85 or above–and many are extremely skilled in math, science, and music.

The increase in autism awareness may be due to celebs gaining attention to the cause. Jenny McCarthy is an outspoken advocate for autism awareness, and other stars ranging from Miami Dolphins legend Dan Marino to Rocky Balboa himself, Sylvester Stallone, have autistic children.

Many speculated that the character Edward Scissorhands exhibits signs of Asperger's syndrome! | Source: Shutterstock

As of now, no one knows what causes autism. (Many suspected vaccines to be the culprit for a while, but that’s since been pretty much ruled out.) For a while, autism diagnoses were only given to those with severe impediments, including speechlessness, repetitive behaviors and social impairments, but since then, the autism spectrum has expanded and includes less severe versions of the disorder, like Asperger’s syndrome. This may be another cause for the growth in autism diagnoses: the number of people who are autistic might have not necessarily changed, it may just be that more people are aware of it now. Sites like The Autism Site also make it easy to donate (for free!) to autism awareness.

Do you know anyone on the autism spectrum? Have you ever had to help care for an autistic person? Tell us about it in the comments!

Some say chemicals in food could cause Autism. What do you think?

You CAN get through this. | Source

In many ways, hitting an emotional low is just like realizing you were the only one of your friends to get sick on the ride. It’s totally human and normal, but feeling blue can make you feel isolated, embarrassed, and like nobody could possibly understand what you’re dealing with.

But before we go any further, let me just say there’s a huge difference between throwing up (and by throwing up, I mean being mega bummed) and actually giving up or thinking about suicide.

If you are thinking about hurting yourself or anyone else–get help now. Tell a parent, teacher, or call 911.

But aside from thinking about suicide or hurting yourself–how can you tell the difference between having a lousy day and actually dealing with depression? The only way to know for sure if you’re experiencing what mental health pros call a Major Depressive Episode is to see your doctor or a therapist. But if you’re simply not feeling like yourself, there are a couple questions you can ask yourself first:

If you feel like this, you might need help. | Source

Is my mood getting in the way of my life?
Depressive symptoms get in the way of everything: school, social life, work, family—if you’re feeling low enough that it’s stopping you from living the fabulous life you could be living, it’s time to check in with a professional.

What other symptoms am I experiencing?
If you’re depressed, you also notice a few other things are off. You might not be able to sleep or eat, or maybe you’re eating and sleeping more than usual. You could feel exhausted, or have a tough time concentrating on school or work. Maybe you’re feeling more jittery than usual, or like your body has slowed down and it’s tough to find the energy to go about your day. You could be feeling worthless, or start to have thoughts of suicide.

All of these symptoms are serious, and if you’ve been struggling with any combination of them for two weeks or more, you might need a hand to get back to normal. Talk to your doctor–and know that there is absolutely no shame in needing help. If you think your parents might freak and think you’re “crazy,” or think you’re being overly dramatic, talk to a school counselor or school nurse who can help you get the help you need.

The thing to keep in mind is that you’re absolutely not alone. Just like many people get sick on roller coasters, many people get depressed–especially girls, who experience clinical depression twice as often as guys. The good news is that depression is treatable, and things can get a whole lot better. Better to the point where you’ll be smiling again. Promise.

Everyone is different, and a single blog post like this one isn’t a substitute for medical advice. If you’re worried you might be depressed or you have questions about depression, have your doctor recommend a good mental health therapist.

For girls who have struggled with suicidal thoughts, please call a help line like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). I may not have met you, but you matter to me.

How are you doing? Have you ever needed help? Tell me in the comments.

Need More Heart-To-Heart? We’ve Got You.

Some relationships are meant to last forever and others, well, not so much. And by relationships, we don’t just mean the romantic variety. Friendships can have expiration dates too. And when your best friend and you are cruising full speed ahead to Splitsville, it’s not a fun road trip at all. Meg is here to smooth out the ride with five tips on how to deal with a BFF break up. From figuring out if this friendship is worth saving to how to handle your feelings, Meg lets you in on the best ways to deal with a best friend break up.

Have you ever had to break up with a friend? Tell us all about it in the comments!

Want More Advice From Meg? Of Course You Do!

That's a whole lot of farming for something illegal! | Source: futurepocket.com

Pot. Grass. Weed. Mary Jane. Ganja.

You’ve probably heard a ton about marijuana, not only recently, but in general. Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, Kristen Stewart and a slew more celebs (oh, hey Snoop Dogg) are pretty open with their appreciation of the drug. These famous faces, plus movies like Pineapple Express, can make it seem like everyone is smoking it. Truth is, a lot of people use marijuana–though more people don’t use marijuana.

We’re not here to scare you here or run your life, but you deserve to make informed decisions about what and whether you inhale. Know the risks before you do anything!

*Smoking pot without a medical prescription is illegal in the U.S.–you and your friends could get in mega trouble if you get caught.

Rihanna got caught smoking marijuana in Hawaii. | Source: fashionindie.com

*You already know cigarettes are terrible for you. Turns out, smoking weed is too — maybe even worse. It can contain 50% to 70% more carcinogens (cancer-causing chemicals) than tobacco smoke does.

*Smoking marijuana can pose a lot of the same health risks as cigarette smokers, including coughing, wheezing, and sometimes more chest colds.

*Heavy use of marijuana can mess with your menstrual cycle and make your period irregular. Yikes!

*Medical marijuana has proven beneficial for some ailments, but it can have lots of negative side effects on the developing brain–and if you’re reading this, chances are your brain is still developing! It doesn’t finish completely til you’re 25. Using marijuana at a young age can lead you to develop weakened verbal and communication skills, a shorter attention span, and lower learning capabilities.

*Marijuana use can negatively impact your short-term memory (making you forget your homework or accidentally flake on your pals).

Miley Cyrus came under fire for calling herself a stoner. She said she was joking, then was captured here on film! Maybe it DOES make you forgetful. | Source: igossip.com

*Marijuana can make driving more dangerous. It can affect your alertness, reaction time, and concentration, all of which you need in tip top shape to be behind the wheel. Smoking weed can also make your perception of space and distances skewed, which is really dangerous on the road.

*Traces of marijuana can linger in your body for close to three months after you use it–something to keep in mind since a lot of jobs require a drug test before they’ll hire you.

*The high users experience from marijuana use is a result of the drug releasing dopamine, a feel-good chemical in your brain. It can lead some users to want that feeling again and again, resulting in a psychological dependency on the drug.

*While smoking weed can make some users feel relaxed, it affects everyone differently. Some users experience anxiety, panic attacks, and depression when they use the drug.

*While opponents of marijuana refer to it as a gateway drug and claim that trying it can lead people to try other drugs, that may not be entirely true. Most people who try marijuana don’t use other drugs. However, most people who do use other drugs did try marijuana first.

Have you or a friend ever tried marijuana? Do you ever feel pressured to smoke pot? Let us know in the comments–and if you or a friend want help quitting marijuana, click here to find help near you.

What About Drinking? Get The 411 Here.

Someone with anorexia will see a distorted image. | Source: blogs.babble.com

Anorexia, or Anorexia Nervosa as it’s technically called, is a much bigger problem than a lot of the world admits–and a much more complicated one than a lot of the world realizes.

Anorexics don’t just not eat for the sake of being thin–though that’s certainly a factor. Many sufferers, in addition to feeling pressure from their peers or the media to look perfect, simply struggle to find control in their lives. If they’re under pressure and stress elsewhere, many turn to anorexia as a means of control: even if they can’t control everything else, they can and will monitor their food intake and often stop eating.

Right now, roughly 10 million women and girls are suffering from some sort of eating disorder. What’s even more disturbing is that in terms of anorexia, only 1 in 10 sufferers will enter treatment. Here are more disturbing facts on anorexia, its effects on your body and mind, and just how many people are affected by it.

*One in 200 women suffers from anorexia. If that doesn’t sound like a lot, picture your graduating class. Chances are, someone in it is suffering in silence.

*Anorexia often stems from depression. Fifty to 75 percent of anorexics report feeling depressed.

One reason why Drew Barrymore is always so happy go lucky is her healthy relationship with food and appreciation for her body! | Source: celebrities-eating.com

*In the U.S., women and girls ages 15 to 24 are 12 times more likely to die from anorexia than any other cause of death.

*Over 85 percent of anorexia victims are diagnosed before they hit 20 years old.

*Many people who have an eating disorder continue to struggle with it throughout their lives, but getting help does make it easier.

*Many anorexia sufferers see their disease as a lifestyle choice, and try to lure other people toward dangerous anorexia so they don’t feel so isolated. These victims often host pro-ana blogs, which many search engines and platforms, such as tumblr, have banned.

*Anorexia is often directly related to a distorted body image. Many sufferers literally don’t see what the rest of us do when they look in the mirror: think of it as living in the fun house from Hell.

*Anorexia makes you look bad. Extreme weight loss isn’t the only symptom. Without enough calories and nutrients, your kkin becomes dry, you grow more body hair (because your body temperature is lower and your hormones are out of whack), and your hair thins. And those are only the obvious things.

*Guys aren’t immune. There’s a .3% chance for males to develop anorexia.

*Signs of anorexia aren’t just physical. There are more signals than weight loss that you or a friend may have a problem. If you think your friend hasn’t been treating her body right, tell her you’re worried about her and want to help.

*It’s so important to get help. About one in five anorexia sufferers will die from the disease or its complications.

*Anorexia can delay puberty. A lack of nutrition screws with your hormones, which can delay development and, as previously mentioned, stop you from getting your period.

*Anorexia can ruin your smile. If you’re not getting enough nutrition, your teeth can and will rot without enamel to sustain and protect them.

Now this is a message we can get behind, but for many with anorexia is easier said than done. | Source: about-face.lorg

*Anorexia can actually make you gain weight. Undereating slows your metabolism, so your body clings to every possible calorie it can get.

If you or a friend suffer from anorexia nervosa, or any other eating disorder, talk to a parent, or other trusted adult, or you can find help here.

If you need a little bit of support, look no further, girl.

anorexia

Sue Sylvester is the worst, and even she doesn't say it! | Source: blog.babble.com

Fair warning: the next time I hear someone describe something annoying, upsetting, or otherwise negative as a “retard” or “retarded”, I’m going to lose my shizz.

The terms “retarded” and “retard” are offensive, yet for some reason, these word keeps popping up in people’s daily dialogue as a substitute for “pathetic”, “weak”, or “stupid”. They’re used to describe ex-boyfriends, enemies, infuriating situations and uninformed arguments.

And guess what: they shouldn’t be. Here’s why.

1. Because mental retardation (or, in more contemporary parlance, developmental disability) doesn’t have some kind of moral value: it’s a disability. So unless you’d describe something stupid by saying “that’s so cancerous”, or talk trash about your exboyfriend by saying “he’s such an amputee” – basically, unless you’d neg on the deaf, the diseased, and the missing-of-limb to make a point about how much you hate your science homework – then don’t use mental disability as a synonym for stupidity.

Saying "retard" makes you look like trash. | Source: whatmyworldslike.com

2. Because you never know who you’re hurting. Once upon a time, I couldn’t help noticing the way that one of my good friends would flinch every time someone said, “That’s retarded.” It was like she’d been slapped. Turned out, her beloved little brother had been born with Down Syndrome – and every time someone described something worthless as “retarded”, they were describing someone she loved as worthless. Could someone you care about be wounded by your words? Are you sure you want to risk finding out?

3. And finally, because what “retarded” actually means, per dictionary definition, is “delayed”. Which means that the only thing “retarded” about using that word as a negative is your empathy and emotional maturity.

And that if you keep using the word like that, there’s not going to be anything retarded, in the strict definition of the word, about the connection between my fist and your face.

Do you say the “R” word and brush it off as just a bad habit? Do you get upset when people say those words around you? Tell me about it in the comments!

Now That You’re Angry, Check Out Disney Princesses Gone Bad!

 
retard offensive