Gurl.com » For Laughs http://www.gurl.com A teen site and community for teenage girls Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:26:25 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5 GIF My Life: Desperately Wishing And Hoping For A Snow Dayhttp://www.gurl.com/2013/01/10/snow-day-school-closings/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=snow-day-school-closings http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/10/snow-day-school-closings/#comments Thu, 10 Jan 2013 22:00:30 +0000 Meg Malone http://www.gurl.com/?p=93214 Read More]]> Ah, snow days – those amazing days when the good fortune of freezing weather means an unexpected day free of classes. It’s just like a mini-vacation and totally makes you believe that yes, dreams come true!

Sometimes though, if you get wind of a snow day, it can be an agonizing wait full of rituals and wishing to try to get fate to swing your way and reward you with a day off. Sometimes it works… and sometimes, well you’re just back to your regularly scheduled school day. So how will things work out for the GIF girl? Only one way to find out! Let us begin:

Packing up my locker, someone’s conversation catches my ear with just one little phrase: “snow day.” I immediately perk my ears and start listening in.

Turns out we’re in for a snowstorm this evening. On my drive home, it’s barely snowing at all, but that doesn’t stop me from already beginning my planning for this rumored snow day.

Possibility #1: I could go outside and play in the snow! Throw some snowballs, maybe go sledding! I literally will spend that entire snow day outside!

Okay, maybe I won’t spend the WHOLE day outside. Possibility #2: I could totally make warm, gooey, amazing delicious chocolate chip cookies and drink tea all day! This will be a dream.

At home, I’m too excited about this possible snow day. I seriously can’t focus on this math homework. Wait… but if there won’t be school, then why don’t I just not do this homework at all?!

Wait… but if I don’t do my homework, we will probably have school. If I stay on karma’s good side and DO my homework, then the chances of us probably not having school are even better. And if we DO, all my work will be done already! Genius.

Once my homework is done, I watch the news with great excitement. Watching that snowstorm move from behind the weatherman’s head and closer toward our region is more thrilling than any movie I have seen in months. I can’t look away!

As my siblings and I discuss potential snow day plans, OF COURSE my parents decide it is necessary to mention that that a snow day is not official yet. We acknowledge them and then quickly go back to planning.

Before you go to sleep, you glance at the window to see how the weather is progressing. Yes, snow, yes. Keep falling. MWAHAHAHA.

I wake up at early and flip on the radio to hear the sweet list of school closings. It’s like the best music ever. The DJs are getting ready to read the list, and they preface it by saying its pretty long today. Verrrryyy promising!!

They do the first read though, but I don’t hear my school called. I must have just missed it. When they reread the list fifteen minutes later, it still isn’t there.

Okay, I’ll have to leave for school in the next five minutes. I’ll give them ONE more chance to read us in the school closings. Heck, I’ll settle for a two hour delay. Even a ONE hour delay!

They don’t say it. And like that, my snow day dreams are dashed.

I can now hear my mom screaming at me to turn off the radio because I’m going to be late. Reality is officially settling in and there’s no turning back. I will be going to school today.

Since I haven’t warmed up the car or scraped the ice off the windows or shoveled the driveway, all I know is I am going to be late and this is going to be a very, very long day. Basically, just the complete opposite of an awesome snow day. Sweet.

About how many snow days do you usually have each winter? What are your favorite things to do on snow days? Tell us in the comments. 

Make The Cutest Printed Gloves Ever!

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/10/snow-day-school-closings/feed/ 0 15 Super Funny Tweets About Justin Timberlake & Destiny’s Child Making New Musichttp://www.gurl.com/2013/01/10/funny-tweets-justin-timberlake-destinys-child-new-music/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=funny-tweets-justin-timberlake-destinys-child-new-music http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/10/funny-tweets-justin-timberlake-destinys-child-new-music/#comments Thu, 10 Jan 2013 21:02:35 +0000 Jessica Booth http://www.gurl.com/?p=93832 Read More]]> This morning both Justin Timberlake and Destiny’s Child announced that they were going to be making new music for the first time in a very long time, and then Twitter basically exploded with excitement. Technically, Justin Timberlake didn’t even say for sure that he was making new music, he just hinted at it in a vague video of him in a recording studio and people still flipped out. Guys, I truly never knew Justin Timberlake was so popular.

Anyway, according to Twitter, new music from both JT and Destiny’s Child is the best thing to happen to music in basically forever. And while I have a personal vendetta against JT (I met him and he was so rude. Let’s not talk about it), I have to admit I dig his music. I also have very fond memories of a teenage Jessica singing along to Destiny’s Child with friends, so I’m pretty excited. But probably not as excited as these 15 people, whose tweets are just too funny to ignore. Check out our favorite funny tweets about these two huge music announcements right here:


Funny Tweets

Ugh, I guess we finally know how guys feel now.

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Funny Tweets

You can make it through!

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Funny Tweets

Exactly. Guys, this is the definition of happiness.

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Funny Tweets

There's no reason to feel guilty when it comes to the smooth voice of JT, dude.

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Funny Tweets

Hm... we're onto you, Drew McAthy...

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Funny Tweets

Oof. Way harsh, Tai.

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Funny Tweets

Can you imagine?!

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Funny Tweets

Might be the best use of old Rose in Titanic ever.

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Funny Tweets

Me too, girl. Me too.

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Funny Tweets

I'm going to guess this was the reaction everyone had when they heard this news.

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Funny Tweets

OUCH. Burn!

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Funny Tweets

Completely true.

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Funny Tweets

This is exactly how we all feel, right?

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Funny Tweets

Well at least NOW we know how this happened!

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Funny Tweets

We'll never make fun of you for singing Destiny's Child, girl.

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Are you excited about Justin Timberlake and Destiny’s Child releasing new music? What did you tweet about it? Which of these tweets was your favorite? Tell us in the comments!

 

Dress like 10 Disney Princesses!

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/10/funny-tweets-justin-timberlake-destinys-child-new-music/feed/ 0 The Lazy Girl’s Guide To Doing Laundryhttp://www.gurl.com/2013/01/08/how-to-do-laundry/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-do-laundry http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/08/how-to-do-laundry/#comments Tue, 08 Jan 2013 23:00:41 +0000 Meg Malone http://www.gurl.com/?p=92934 Read More]]> If we were to apply Murphy’s Law solely to laundry, it would probably be along the lines of: “If you want to wear it tonight, it is probably sitting in your dirty laundry.” Seriously, how many times has that exact thing happened to me? The answer is COUNTLESS.

I have (not-so) fond memories of waking up in college and realizing I literally had no clean clothes left. I then proceeded to treat our campus laundry facility like a giant “Risk” board and competed with crowds of fellow clean-laundry-deprived students to overtake as many washers as possible. (I believe my record is six at once).

Why not just simplify the whole annoying process? We’ve come up with some lazy girl tips to help you get that laundry situation under control. Well, kind of…


Get Sneaky

Discreetly disperse your laundry among the hampers of your siblings / parents / roommates and cash in on their more dutiful laundry habits. Just go into stealth mode and get your stuff out of the dryer before they start folding and notice your whole wardrobe mixed in with theirs.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Mix Well For Best Results

Reds, whites — don't bother wasting your time with all that separating nonsense. You were looking for a new pink shirt anyway, right? Well now you've got one!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Shower Up

Hop right in the shower and lather up with your dirty clothes on. You get clean, the clothes get clean — a two-in-one time-saver! I mean, if you did that when you showered at the end every day, in theory you'd never have dirty clothes again!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Spritz On Some Freshness

Perfume isn’t just for spritzing on your skin on when you don’t have time to take a shower. Start spraying your clothes before you get dressed. It may take a few more spritzes than you usually use to get all the fabric covered, but after all - if something doesn't smell bad, can it REALLY be dirty? Nah, we don't think so either.

Source: Shutterstock.com

It's Their Problem, Not Yours!

If the smell of your dirty sweatshirt doesn’t bother you, why should you have to do laundry just to please other people? Still, be courteous and offer nose plugs for them to wear in your presence. They’ll be happy, and you can put off laundry for a while!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Shop Instead Of Wash

Rarely do you need an excuse to go shopping, but instead of doing laundry, just buy some new outfits whenever you're running low on clean clothes. It's a best of both worlds!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Give Your Wardrobe The Vacuum Treatment

You don't wash your carpets every day when a quick vacuum once in a while will do, right? Just give your dirty laundry a quick once over with the vacuum cleaner and it should be as good as clean.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Ironing By The Book

Ugh, ironing is such a pain. Instead of dealing with all of that business, just toss that shirt you want to wear tomorrow on a chair and drop your big stack of textbooks on it. That'll probably flatten out any wrinkles by the morning, right?

Source: Shutterstock.com

Get Creative With Stains

Spilled some coffee on your shirt? You don't need to get that washed right away. It's kind of like tie-dye now! The more stains, the more interesting your "DIY" shirt will be, and if you washed it, you would ruin it! Throw all your "neat eating" manners out the window, and start getting messy. You aren't doing your laundry for the sake of fashion!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Rev Up The Speed Of Drying

Dryers take too long. See how this car fashioned this flag to their window? Make your own laundry flag! If that sweatshirt you want to wear is still damp from the wash, just fashion it as a flag before you you head off to school. It's like drying on a clothesline multiplied by 40 m.p.h. It may have more of an exhaust smell than a fresh line-dry scent, but hey, you just wanted it dry.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Do you know how to do your laundry or does someone else do it for you? What laundry how-to tips do you have? Do you enjoy doing laundry or do you consider it an awful chore? How often do you usually do your laundry? Tell us in the comments.

It sounds like some guys may need to be doing THEIR laundry more often!

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter

]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/08/how-to-do-laundry/feed/ 0 Taylor Swift & Harry Styles Break Up So He Can Finally Be With Mehttp://www.gurl.com/2013/01/08/taylor-swift-harry-styles-break-up/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=taylor-swift-harry-styles-break-up http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/08/taylor-swift-harry-styles-break-up/#comments Tue, 08 Jan 2013 16:48:02 +0000 Jessica Sager http://www.gurl.com/?p=93417 Read More]]> Taylor Swift Harry Styles break up 1

I was behind the Taylor Swift Harry Styles break up. Sorry, Haylor fans! | Source: WENN / My Facebook

I was in a pretty grumpy mood the past few days, but the cloud has been lifted: Taylor Swift and Harry Styles finally broke up.

No reason has been given or revealed for the split, but I have some insider info on the Taylor Swift and Harry Styles breakup: it was over me. And now Harry and I can finally quit the facades we’ve been putting up and be together.

The duo apparently called it quits during a vacation in the British Virgin Isles, and I couldn’t be more overjoyed. It’s only a matter of time now until my green-eyed prince comes for me, and when he does, he’ll even be tan!

The truth is, Harry Styles and I have been in love for a while. Sure, we each had our dalliances with others–me with douchebags disguised as nice guys and him with the biggest pop star on the planet right now–but it was all just biding our time, you know? Because we’re meant.

He’s English. I love English breakfast tea. He sings “Live While We’re Young.” I’m clinging onto the remnants of my own youth the way Taylor Swift does to most of the guys she dates. We both have natural curls. We both have tattoos. He looks good with his shirt off. I am no slouch in that department, either. He loves to party, I love to lurk in the kitchen and wait for parties to be over. He used to work in a bakery, I love to bake (and to eat cake). He introduced Louis Tomlinson and Eleanor Calder, I play matchmaker for my pals so I can live vicariously through them. He travels a lot, I don’t mind airplane food. He’s sensitive. I sometimes have sensitive teeth if I drink something too cold. Can’t you see? This is destiny.

Sorry, Taylor Swift, but this is how it’s meant to be. I give you full license to use my name in your upcoming hits “One (Wrong) Thing,” “Not My Styles,” and “Wrong Direction.” Just please don’t tell anyone where I live.

Do you think Haylor were forever? What do you think was behind the Taylor Swift and Harry Styles break up? Did you really think I was serious and not delusional and daydreaming when I said I was behind the Taylor Swift Harry Styles break up? Tell us in the comments!

We bet this Taylor Swift Harry Styles breakup song is playing everywhere right now!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/08/taylor-swift-harry-styles-break-up/feed/ 2 Forget That Lame Slut Shaming Meme–Here Are 10 Better Things To Do On The Internet!http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/07/slut-shaming-meme/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=slut-shaming-meme http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/07/slut-shaming-meme/#comments Mon, 07 Jan 2013 18:29:09 +0000 Jessica Sager http://www.gurl.com/?p=93256 Read More]]> slut shaming meme

There are a zillion better things to do on the Internet than looking at slut shaming memes. | Source: ShutterStock

There are few things that make me more mad than slut shaming, and the fact that there are a bunch of slut shaming memes made by girls really bothers me. Why? Well, aside from slut shaming in general being gross and sexist, when girls slut shame other girls it’s setting all of us back even further. How? Because it pits us against one another when we should be working together to improve.

But what’s most infuriating about slut shaming memes is that they’re such an epic waste of time, and on top of that–dude, they’re just not that funny.

There are so many better ways to waste time on the Internet. In fact, we’ve conjured up ten of our favorite things with which to occupy ourselves online–and guess what? While some of them may set you back in, say, finishing that paper or starting our algebra homework, none of them will make us slam your heads into glass ceilings. So there! (Please note that reading Gurl.com is obviously the best option, but I’m trying not to be selfish.)

1. Instead of criticizing girls for wearing makeup, you can learn how to apply it.
Wearing eyeliner doesn’t make anyone a slut, so slut shaming someone based on her makeup is pretty stupid, and frankly, it doesn’t make sense. Is a mascara wand a penis? No? Didn’t think so. (And if it is, I have a lot more to learn about animal testing than I thought.) So instead of posting things like this that harp on girls for wearing makeup, how about learning how to do an awesome smoky eye yourself? The fact is, a lot of girls wear makeup out of insecurity–and if you need to pick on anyone else, chances are you’re insecure, too. Check out these awesome YouTube tutorials from inspiring ladies for ideas.

2. Poke your crush on Facebook.
Is poking in general creepy and annoying? Well, yeah. But it’s still not as bad as slut shaming. Plus, he may be into it and message you. That is, if he knows a good thing when he sees it. Who knows? He may even want to poke you in real life. Hi-yoooo!

3. Dogs. On swings.
This needs no explanation.

4. Follow Cher on Twitter.
No, seriously, do it. Or you might miss gems like these:

 

 

5. Buy stupid things.
Want an inflatable moose head? Or a garden gnome that moons you? You didn’t know that you did, but you totally do. And so does your little brother and weird cousin who does that thing with his eye at Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, that one.

6. Meet Scumbag Steve!

No-bro-Its-spelled-liberry

You can see more of him here. Doesn’t he sort of look like Mike Posner? No offense to Mike Posner. I don’t know if Mike Posner’s actually a scumbag. I do, however, think a lot of his songs are annoying. Wait, what was I talking about?

7. Tweet at One Direction.
They might just answer. And Harry Styles might just fall in love with you. YOU NEVER KNOW. That’s what I keep telling myself.

8. Spam your dad’s Facebook wall.
Especially if he still gets email notifications whenever someone posts something. Just make sure you’re only writing and posting pleasant things, that way he’s confused as to whether or not he should be pissed at you. I recommend lots of emoticons, followed by, “Dad, aren’t I your favorite?”

9. GIFs!
Pictures that move?! Pictures of Ryan Gosling that move?! Yes please. If there were a way to project these onto my ceiling … nevermind.

10. Bee dogs.
They’re dogs. Dogs that are dressed like bees. That’ll be two hours of your time, thank you.

Do you think slut shaming memes are damaging? Do you have a favorite meme? What memes do you find most offensive? What’s your favorite Internet timewaster? Tell us in the comments!

These are totally fine, but please don’t roofy your parents to go online!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/07/slut-shaming-meme/feed/ 4 The January Struggle To Stick With New Year’s Resolutionshttp://www.gurl.com/2013/01/03/funny-new-years-resolutions-january/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=funny-new-years-resolutions-january http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/03/funny-new-years-resolutions-january/#comments Thu, 03 Jan 2013 22:00:11 +0000 Meg Malone http://www.gurl.com/?p=92759 Read More]]> When January 1 rolls around, I get a little excited because I’m always thinking, “This could be the year!” I don’t even exactly know what it would be “the year” for, but hey, it could be it! What I mean is that at the start of a new year, I’m super optimistic and often set out with the best of intentions to stick with my New Year’s resolutions so that I feel happier and healthier.

However, as the days keep going by, that optimism often tends to experience a gradual decline. Actually, maybe I should call it a sharp decline, because by the end of January, my motivation for sticking with those New Year’s resolutions is more or less zapped. Here is how January tends to go down.

January 1: This is going to be the best year ever!!!! I am going to exercise every day! And eat more vegetables! And keep a day planner! And write that novel! Hey, there’s no such thing as too many resolutions! Look out, 2013!

January 3: Look at this shiny planner that I bought! I’m going to be so organized compared to everyone else.

January 6: Wow, this kale tastes so good! I could literally eat it for every meal. Keeping my New Year’s resolution to eat healthy is going to be a breeze. Go, me!

January 8: I’m doing so well with my resolutions, that I decide that my friends probably want my advice, so I start offering it before they even ask.

Fine, don’t take my advice, friends. I’ll just start sharing the news of my success on Facebook so more grateful Internet followers can share in my wisdom.

January 12: I sit down to start writing my great novel, but I have a little writer’s block. I’ve been so good though with all of my other resolutions, I decide that I should just have a teeny tiny reward.

2 hours later… The whole box of cookies is gone. Whoops. It’s okay, just a slip-up. Not gonna sweat it.

January 15: Went on a run today to stick with my commitment to more regular exercise. Okay, so it was supposed to be a 5 mile run, but I cut it down to one so I could get home to watch TV. But hey, I still exercised! It counts for something.

January 18: Ughhhh, there isn’t enough space in this planner to write down all of my homework. How am I supposed to stick with my resolutions when the whole world is against me?!

January 22: Ugh, kale for dinner AGAIN?!

January 25: Wow, I just realize I haven’t exercised in a week. Uh oh — seem to have forgot that resolution along the way.

January 27: Wait, what were my resolutions again… I know I wrote them down somewhere. Oh, in that planner! Which I can’t seem to find… This is not good.

January 29: I HATE VEGETABLES!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANOTHER PLANT IN MY LIFE!!

January 31: I think I’ve been defeated by my resolutions.

February 4: So I’ve taken a few days to think about how January went. You know, I may not have a planner or always eat the required servings of vegetables each day or run for fun or be a published author, but I got through 2012 just fine, and I like this version of me. 2013 is going to be fine, whether I’m a resolutions all-star or not. And you know what? If I REALLY want to try again, there’s always 2014.

Are you good about sticking to your New Year’s resolutions? Do you have any advice for what to do if you start getting off-track from your new year goals? Tell us in the comments. 

 

The Funny Truth About Your New Year’s Resolutions

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/03/funny-new-years-resolutions-january/feed/ 1 The Lazy Girl’s Guide To The At-Home Spa Experiencehttp://www.gurl.com/2013/01/01/spa-services-at-home-spa-treatments/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=spa-services-at-home-spa-treatments http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/01/spa-services-at-home-spa-treatments/#comments Tue, 01 Jan 2013 23:00:45 +0000 Meg Malone http://www.gurl.com/?p=92515 Read More]]> Going to the spa might just be one of the greatest things. It’s just total relaxation and full-on pampering yourself. Sounds fabulous, right!? Yeah, I really can’t think of anything better.

The only problem is that sometimes spa services can be a little on the pricey side. Wouldn’t it be great if you could just replicate everything at home to save money, while still get the benefits from a whole day of me time?

Sure, spas have trained professionals and special facilities, but if you really are a lazy girl (like me), we have a couple ideas about how you can totally recreate the same spa experience (well, sort of) in your own home. Check out these tips to make your own at-home spa dreams come true.


Make Use Of Mud Puddles

Mud masks are common at spas, and you have a whole supply of mud in your backyard! Just wait for a storm and roll around a little bit and let it sit. Sounds just as relaxing as a day at the spa — and totally free!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Simplify Those Cucumber Slices

Cucumber slices on the eyes may be a recognizable spa image, but slicing up those cucumbers seems like a pain. This is a relaxing day, remember? If you have some whole cucumbers, just lay them across your head. It'll be an exercise in balance which also seems fitting in with a spa day and being totally centered.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Soak in Some Greens

Trying to wrap yourself in seaweed might not work, so do an at-home version. I don't see seaweed at the grocery often, but spinach and other leafy greens look similar. Buy a few dozen pounds, fill it in your bathtub, and take a dip. I mean, you're still kind of wrapped up, right? Just don't go to the trouble of emptying it out once you're done. You're supposed to be relaxing! Do yourself a favor and let someone else clean it up.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Get The Lighting Right

Call up the electric company and cut off your power — harsh indoor lights are no good for the spa experience. Instead, light every candle you own for the perfect spa ambiance. Sure, you may have 18 very different scented candles all going at once, but it will make a super unique scent for your unique at-home spa! Since you'll probably doze off in this relaxing atmosphere, just make sure a family member is standing watch for all those candles. A fire would really wreak havoc on your relaxation.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Pull A Furniture Swap

You may not have access to a professional massage therapist, but if you plan on keeping the power connected at your house after all, why not invest in a state-of-the-art at-home massage chair? Luckily, there's some models online for only a few thousand dollars! I mean, your parents will be cool with that credit card charge, right? You'll have to toss out your dad's favorite recliner to make room for your new purchase, but hey, you deserve to relax to the max.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Take A Drive To Relaxation

Okay, maybe your parents will put up a fight about the massage chair. Do a makeshift massage my taking your little sibling's remote control car and driving it up and down your back while you lay on the couch. Instant massage!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Fill The Air With Soothing Sounds

You don't want loud noises in your spa space. How relaxing is it when once in a while, a light breeze sails through your chimes outside? Toss out your family's rock-filled iPods, and instead create that soothing sound 24/7 by hanging a collection of wind chimes inside and blasting your fans on them. Surely the constant clanging won't get annoying to the rest of your family as you insist on relaxing for days on end.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Steam Up The Place

Put all the faucets in your house on a full blast of hot water to try and build that steam effect that'll make you think you've never even left your favorite spa. What's the harm in wasting some water if it means you get to relax? Just lay a couple towels on the floor in case the sinks start overflowing water, and just cross your fingers that all the steam won't damage the walls or anything...

Source: Shutterstock.com

Fully Commit To Spa Fashion

Spa robes are so comfy you'd think they were made of clouds. By adopting "terry-cloth only" fashion, you can get that same comfy feeling all the time. Plus, without any non-terry cloth clothes left, you'll have an excuse to never leave your at-home spa (aka more relaxing time!). I mean, just look at that picture — you can also do some serious style damage if you get creative.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Have you ever been to the spa? Do you have any favorite at-home spa treatments? Tell us in the comments!

Give Yourself An At Home Marble Manicure

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/01/spa-services-at-home-spa-treatments/feed/ 3 The Funny Truth About Your New Year’s Resolutionshttp://www.gurl.com/2013/01/01/funny-new-years-resolutions/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=funny-new-years-resolutions http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/01/funny-new-years-resolutions/#comments Tue, 01 Jan 2013 21:00:21 +0000 Shallon Lester http://www.gurl.com/?p=91334 Read More]]> Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

I have long suspected that “Auld Lang Syne” actually means “Let’s pretend I’m going to be a totally different person next year.” Am I the only one who finds that their New Year’s resolutions are actually just a list of complete phony-baloney lies? Probably not. I dare you to read this and tell me you don’t relate to at least one of these New Year’s fibs!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Health

 

She said: I resolve to work out at least 5 days a week and take the stairs whenever possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: I resolve to declare walking from my car to class a workout, and move into a one-story building.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Friendships

 

She said: I will stop gossiping and try to be more straightforward when I’m mad about something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: I will stop bitching to Jen about Katie and bitch to Lauren instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Putting an End To Your Wild Child Phase

 

She said: I’m going to be more ladylike and ask myself: What would Kate Middleton do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: I’m going to get different role models. What would…Brandi Glanville do??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Finances

 

She said: Listen to mom and put away 20% of my paycheck into savings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Listen to my BFF and put 20% towards a boob job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your Man Situation

 

She said: Wait 10 dates before hooking up with a guy you’re really into!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Wait 10 days. Hey it’s only one letter off…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goals

 

She said: Finish that book proposal! Be the only person in your school’s history to publish before you graduate!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She meant: Finish reading the book on how to write a proposal.
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What’s your New Year’s resolution–and do you think you can actually stick with it? Tell me in the comments!

What’s Your Fave Way To Spend New Year’s Eve?

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/01/01/funny-new-years-resolutions/feed/ 4 Counting Down To A New Year’s Eve Kisshttp://www.gurl.com/2012/12/27/new-years-eve-kiss-midnight/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=new-years-eve-kiss-midnight http://www.gurl.com/2012/12/27/new-years-eve-kiss-midnight/#comments Thu, 27 Dec 2012 22:00:02 +0000 Meg Malone http://www.gurl.com/?p=92116 Read More]]> How crazy is it that’s it’s nearly the new year?! However, before we can officially begin 2013, there’s the annual New Year’s Eve party to ring in the holiday. And if I’m not mistaken, there’s a certain midnight kiss tradition…

A few weeks ago, many of you read one girl’s attempt at a mistletoe kiss. Well, the first go-around to take advantage of a holiday-sanctioned kiss may not have gone over perfectly, but with the coming of the new year, optimism is in the air. How will things play out for her in search of a New Year’s Eve kiss at the stroke of midnight? Let’s find out…

So it’s important to know that normally I spend my New Year’s Eve a little more on the lax side. I’m not even sure I’ve ever made it to midnight.

This year though, my friend has decided to throw a New Year’s Eve bash. She says I’ll really, really, really have fun if I go. So in the spirit of 2013 optimism, I agree to join.

I arrive, and things are already pretty rocking. How does everyone have so much energy?!?! Still, I try to join in on the dancing.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who is that head bopping over in the corner? HE IS HERE. “He” of mistletoe kiss failure fame and long-time unrequited (maybe?) crush!

I may not like staying up late but I did try with with my outfit to be festive and replicate the Times Square Ball — I got a little help from a a special website (wink!). I look good and I already can imagine how I will shine when he declares his love for me at midnight.

But remember how things didn’t work out under the mistletoe? I decide to just let what happens, happen. So I make the rounds, chat with my friends, the usual party fare. About a half hour before midnight, I make my way to the snack table. Someone tells me that the mini-quiche are really good (obviously) and I glance over to where the voice comes from.

IT’S HIM. All my “Oh, I am not going to get all crazy that he is here” mentality flies out the window. THIS IS A SIGN! I try to recover with a normal person smile.

We get to chatting, it’s all pretty flirty (win!) and I know midnight is getting close so I am trying to conceal my excitement.

He asks me what time it is and I glance at my watch — it’s ten minutes to midnight. He says he wants to go grab some mints from the snack table. MINTS, guys! Like, “I want a clean mouth for when we kiss at midnight, which you just said is in ten minutes.” Obviously, I tell him to go for it. 2013 is looking like it’ll be the best year ever.

While I’m still celebrating on the inside, someone announces it’s one minute to midnight. I just think they’re joking, until I catch a glimpse of the countdown starting on the TV.

But my watch… it said… AH NO! I knew there was a reason I never wore this watch! I couldn’t figure out how to fix the time on it. The fact that the year says 2046 should have been a giveaway. And now he has already walked away from me!

The snack table is all the way across the room and still mobbed with people. I’ve lost sight of my crush in the crowd. I turn back around and standing just inches away from me is my friend’s pesky brother (remember him?).

I don’t want to kiss him at midnight, so I quickly duck away toward the snack table and stake out a spot to wait for my crush. The countdown begins: 10, 9, 8, 7…

6, 5, 4 Okay where is he…

3, 2, 1… Andddddd he is no where in sight.

So much for that midnight kiss on New Year’s Eve. I don’t know, but it seems 2013 is already not my year.

Sigh, but if it’s meant to be, it will be one day, right? In the mean time, let me just start counting down until Valentine’s Day…

What are your thoughts about New Year’s Eve? Have you ever had a kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve? Tell us in the comments!

The Year I Discovered The Truth About New Year’s Eve

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2012/12/27/new-years-eve-kiss-midnight/feed/ 1 The Lazy Girl’s Guide To Eating Righthttp://www.gurl.com/2012/12/25/eating-healthy-eating-right/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=eating-healthy-eating-right http://www.gurl.com/2012/12/25/eating-healthy-eating-right/#comments Tue, 25 Dec 2012 23:00:44 +0000 Meg Malone http://www.gurl.com/?p=91828 Read More]]> I am a lazy girl who may not be able to cook, but I LOVE to eat. I mean, I can nom, nom, nom with the best of them. The thing is that I actually do like a lot of healthy foods… the problem is I just happen to like a lot of not healthy foods more. Case in point – I am eating cookies as I write this!

Eating healthy is definitely important, but it can be a little tough to really stick to always eating healthy foods. We’ve figured out a few ways to rationalize eating the maybe-not-so-healthy stuff we want, while still feeling like we’re sticking to our commitment to eat right.

Here’s ten tips to guide you along the tricky path of trying to eat right (or maybe not…):


Pay Attention To The Positives

If it has some sort of healthy component, it gets checked off as an eating right win. Delicious cooked vegetables... drenched in butter! Strawberries... dipped in chocolate! Hey now, you could have JUST eaten chocolate, right? I think the maturity to include that healthy strawberry is really an eating right achievement.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Eat Those Greens!

Your parents always told you "eating your greens" was an important part of eating right. Okay! Bring on the green sour candies and the mint ice cream! Hey, we're just trying to eat our greens here!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Don't Look!

It’s kind of like that saying “If a tree falls and nobody is around, does it make a sound?” Similarly, “If you eat junk food and you don’t see it, does it really count?” Nahhhh.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Schedule In Wiggle Room

Sticking to eating right can be tough, so just know that it's okay to declare weekends as your cheat days. But if it extends to Fridays or Mondays, that’s okay too. Actually whenever the day ends in "Y," it’s okay not to count it as an official "must eat healthy today" day. Everyone deserves a break once in a while!

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Reward Yourself

In addition to not beating yourself up over cheat days, after each healthy meal you do eat, remember to reward yourself so that you keep up your healthy eating habits. Healthy lunch? Reward yourself with a little cake. Healthy dinner? Reward yourself with a little more cake. Those dessert rewards will really keep you motivated to keep up your healthy eating streak.

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Keep It Moving

If you’re walking around while you’re eating, it probably just cancels everything out. Just quit using tables and chairs, and you’re good to eat whatever you want, worry-free!

Source: Shutterstock.com

Spend Less Time Cooking

Trying to lead a healthy life includes both eating right and taking some time to be active. But if you're spending so much time cooking up healthy meals, when are you ever going to get out and run around? Basically eating fast food means you'll have all that extra time to get in some exercise — you know, just after this 12-hour Pretty Little Liars marathon ends, and wow, this couch is so comfortable...

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Portion Your Plate

Have you seen seen that image of a dinner plate designed to help you eat right right by showing how to proportion each of the different food groups? But a regular plate looks a little small! Grab the biggest platter in your house and start divvying up the food groups. Looks like you may need a whole turkey to fill that poultry portion of your platter, but hey, you're keeping everything in balance to one another, so that's really the eating right goal in action.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Make It Photo Official

"Facebook official" isn't just for relationships. If you post a photo of your plate with the caption, "My Dinner!" that's basically an undeniable truth. Does it matter then if you ate a heaping bowl of fried onion rings in addition to that very elegant salad you posted a picture of (which by the way has 16 "Likes" and counting)? Nope! As long as your pictures prove you were eating right, there's really no evidence to suggest otherwise.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Demand Chef Service

Convince your parents that in order to stick with your plans to eat right, they need to hire a professional chef to prepare you healthy meals. I mean, they'll just have to budget in the chef's salary, a room to stay in at your house, the cost of food... but it's for your health, so they really can't say "no," right?

Source: Shutterstock.com

What’s your favorite healthy food to eat? What’s your favorite not-so-healthy treat to snack on? Tell us in the comments!

5 Good Reasons To Eat Christmas Cookies

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