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On the bright side, there are always people working to stop bullying. The Friend Movement is an anti-bullying movement founded by Ronnie Kroell and Elliot London that was “created to help show positive anti-bully images through art and media.”

The Friend Movement has a new campaign called The New F Word, which is “a grass roots photo campaign and documentary film that aims to encourage the use of the word FRIEND to project inner strength and confidence.”

They’re asking people to basically flip off bullying and empower themselves instead. According to their website, “When a person is called a FREAK they shut down inside, letting the bullying continue. We want the individual to have an empowered inner monologue of ‘F U, I am actually really FABULOUS and do not need your approval.’”

The New F Word campaign asks participants to take out words like “fatty, faggot, freak” and replace it with “friend.” They’re using a photo campaign to promote the campaign and are aiming to take over 10,000 photos in three months across the country. They have celebrities like Adam Lambert, Leanne Rimes and Darren Criss involved and are throwing a benefit concert scheduled for July 1.

The Friend Movement also has Lizzie Velasquez in their corner, who is a major anti-bullying advocate. You can watch Lizzie’s story in this clip from Entertainment Tonight.

 

I encourage all of you to sign up on The Friend Movement’s page to get more info about the campaign and see if you can make it to their shoots. I love the idea of taking something negative and turning it into something positive because in doing so, you take the power away from the negativity.

So next time someone calls you fat or calls you a freak, remember how fabulous you are instead!
 
Have you heard of The Friend Movement? What do you think about The New F Word campaign? Will you join the movement? Tell us in the comments!
 

Do other girls hate you for having sex?

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Large breasts aren’t always the blessing that the media fools people into believing they are. Washington state teenager Britanny Minder knows this intimately, because her breasts kept her out of prom.

Minder found her dream dress, a strapless purple number designed for larger busts, only to be denied entry to her prom because of her visible cleavage.

According to the school’s dress code, strapless dresses are allowed as long as cleavage, midriff, and lower back were covered. Minder and her family don’t have a problem with the dress code, but they feel as if Minder was treated unfairly due to her physique. Minder told CNN that, due to her large breasts, she has little control over her ample cleavage. She was forced to wear a shawl before entering the prom, but only stayed for an hour due to how self-conscious she felt about the ordeal.

“An important night of in life was ruined,” said Minder. “And there’s no way I can gain that experience back.”

I know what some of you are thinking: She didn’t have to wear a strapless dress. She must have known that she was going against the dress code. Maybe she could have worn a dress that covered her cleavage.

KOKO TV

And you’re right, she could have worn a different dress, she likely knew that the school code forbade cleavage, and she didn’t have to wear a strapless dress. As a woman with a large bust, I avoid anything strapless because I know that it doesn’t exactly agree with my chest. So, okay, I understand the criticisms thrown at Minder’s decision.

However, I think that this debacle presents a much bigger discussion. Cleavage is generally believed to be deliberately arousing, but some of us with larger breasts really can’t help how much we fill out a dress. Sure, we can wear something more conservative, but it is ridiculous that we have to always defer to more safe style options because something we can’t control is considered inherently sexual. For large breasted women, unless we’re going to start wearing turtle necks and straight jackets to every formal event, dresses are usually going to show at least a little cleavage. But our cleavage is never seen as tasteful or natural; it is always seen as a deliberate tool of teasing and enticement.

Newsflash: People with large breasts aren’t always using their cleavage as a bat signal for sexy thoughts. It just happens, it’s just there, it just is. Women with large breasts shouldn’t always have to worry about being a living, breathing offense to puritanical sensibility.

This is why so many women and girls feel so ashamed and self conscious about their large breasts: They’re socialized to feel the brunt and the blame of other people’s sexual objectification of their bodies. Whether it’s disgusting men slobbering over them in public, or walking the hallways of a school, we’re treated as if we’re walking distractions, living and breathing violations of dress codes and morality.

But our breasts are not simply objects of desire, and until whoever makes these ridiculous school dress codes figures that out, this won’t be the last time that a young woman’s body is treated as if it is inherently inappropriate.

Do you think the school was right to turn Britanny Minder away from her prom? Have you dealt with a similar experience? Tell us in the comments!

 
10 Of Your Breast Complaints And Comments
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Chelsea said in her caption, “Two of my best friends won Cutest Couple of our senior class. First time in my school history a same sex couple has even been able to run for this category, not to mention winning it. So proud of them, and my school.”

The fact that they won the first time a same sex couple could run speaks volumes about this school. And what did Brad and Dylan have to say about the whole thing?

The cutest couple told The Huffington Post, “This whole thing has been a bit surreal for us because we have been raised to believe that love is love. We never realized that our happiness and openness would inspire so many individuals. The support we have received from our family, friends, and even strangers has led us to believe that our affection for each other is normal … When we started dating a year [ago], the thought of a photo of us traveling throughout the world would be a bit frightening, but now we are proud to be part of the LGBT community.”

This is just so precious. I’m so proud of this school and this couple for not giving a rat’s butt about what anyone thinks and letting people be people regardless of their sexual orientation. These two guys are just the best.

While I wish that these kinds of stories would be so normal by now, we’re not quite there yet. And that really sucks. But I am so happy that there are couples like Brad and Dylan who will hopefully inspire other schools to follow suit. And they’re so right: love is love. That’s it.

Do you love this photo or what? Are same sex couples allowed to run for these superlatives at your school? Tell us in the comments!
 

Sadly, Kaitlyn Hunt is facing a lawsuit for her relationship with her girlfriend

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Hollister are accused of discriminating against people with disabilities. Lame! | Source: Facebook

Hollister is owned by Abercrombie & Fitch, and now they’re being accused of discrimination too!

(If you didn’t catch it last week, Abercrombie came under fire after its CEO basically said he doesn’t want overweight people shopping there and explained that’s why they don’t carry larger sizes. “Lame” isn’t even the word. “Douchetastic” might be.)

Now Hollister is getting some side eye because they’re being accused of discriminating against the disabled. However, the problems don’t lie with a jerk CEO talking smack, but with the way the shops are laid out. People in wheelchairs have issues getting up and down the steps of the stores, most of which are either raised or recessed. Additionally, the layout inside the stores is often too cluttered for people with wheelchairs to get around easily.

I wanted to give Hollister the benefit of the doubt, because while my butt is too big for me to fit into most of their clothes well, I don’t mind walking past it because it smells good and their music is usually less obnoxious than Abercrombie’s. So when I first heard about this, I thought, “Oh, maybe they just don’t know there’s a problem.” But it turns out, they do.

A lot of disability advocates and equal rights groups have brought the issue up to Hollister, but they won’t budge on it because they want their shops to feel like you’re walking into a beach house . . . even though you’re actually walking into a store in the mall.

The store also pointed out that they do have wheelchair accessible doors. Problem is, those “doors” are often disguised as shuttered windows on the “beach house” they’re trying to create, and they’re often blocked with tables and merchandise on the inside. Not nice!

Right now, Hollister is appealing a judge’s ruling–the judge said they actually went so far as to violate the Americans With Disabilities Act, which has been in place since the 90s to ensure stuff like this doesn’t happen.

The problem with Hollister and also with Abercrombie, its parent company, is that they’re trying to sell a lifestyle and not clothes–and they say so themselves: “It’s all about hot lifeguards and beautiful beaches . . . Young and fun, with a sense of humor, Hollister never takes itself too seriously. Hollister’s laid-back lifestyle and All-American image is timeless and effortlessly cool.”

Here’s the thing. Instead of appreciating the business they’re getting–or could get–from people with disabilities, they just drive the point home that in the Hollister world, they don’t belong. And let’s be honest: there’s nothing too American about making life harder for the underdog.

Do you think Hollister is deliberately discriminating against people with disabilities? Would you shop at Hollister if they were deliberately discriminatory against the disabled? Does this story make you want to avoid Hollister? Tell us in the comments!

Hollister and Abercrombie discrimination aren’t the only crappy things about the mall!

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It’s complete and utter chaos, and I’m sitting here trying to control my anxiety over the images. I want you to know that it’s totally okay to feel scared and anxious when you see things like this, whether you’ve experienced a natural disaster or not.

Two years ago, I was in the April 27 tornado disaster in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. I remember sitting in the bathroom with my roommate watching the weather. Suddenly, they showed a picture of the massive EF-4 tornado in Tuscaloosa. And then our power went out. I remember slamming the bathroom door shut and diving into the bathtub. It sounded like a freight train.

After it was over, we walked out to see sawdust and glass and pure terror. What used to be tall trees and houses across the street was now completely leveled. We ran up to the top of our parking deck to assess what had just happened, but there was nothing left. Our town was destroyed.

Eventually, the city told students to leave. The cleanup crews and professionals needed us to leave because it was dangerous for us. No one wanted to leave Tuscaloosa in shambles, but we had to. I spent the entire summer in post-traumatic stress therapy. I cried at the sight of a cloud and panicked any time it started to rain.

Seeing the images from what happened in Oklahoma is breaking my heart because I know exactly how they’re feeling. I didn’t sleep last night because I was reliving April 27. I feel scared and very anxious today, and I probably will for a few days.

In therapy, I learned that dealing with this kind of anxiety is a little different. When you try to process natural disasters, you have trouble understanding that it was out of your control. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it.

My therapist prescribed me puzzle and word games. Seriously. Anytime there’s a storm, I play some Scrabble on my phone or do a word search. Games that work your brain help take your mind off whatever’s going on because you have to focus.

Even if you’re nowhere near Oklahoma, it’s okay to be afraid and worried. It’s normal to feel scared after a natural disaster, and one of the best things you can do is to be aware and prepared. Take tornado watches and warnings seriously. If your city tells you to evacuate or get into a safe location, do it. Weather is no joke. Friends of mine joke that I’m paranoid, but I’d rather be paranoid instead of anything else.

I’m feeling quite helpless with Oklahoma that I can’t be there like I was in Tuscaloosa to help clean up and just do something. But we can still help from a distance. If you want to help, you have some options.

- Donate blood or money through the Red Cross

- Donate to Salvation Army or Oklahoma Disaster Relief

- Contact your local charities to see if they’re accepting donations of clothes and supplies, which they’ll transport for you

- Hold your own supply drive to collect everything from clothes to toiletries

Honestly, from someone who’s been there, any little bit helps. We had people from all over sending shipments of food, clothing, water, you name it.
 
Has the Oklahoma tornado affected you in any way? Are you anxious or scared? Tell us in the comments!
 

How to deal with disturbing images online

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In horrible school news today, two pregnant teens had their photos removed from their yearbook at a Michigan high school because administrators felt that – get this – the girls’ baby bumps were encouraging teen pregnancy. Um, I’m sorry, what?!

The students, from White Cloud High School, are obviously really upset about this seriously awful form of pregnancy shaming. Junior Deonna Harris and senior Kimberly Haney told WOOD-TV about how their photos were pulled from the high school yearbook because their baby bumps were visible. A pregnant stomach in a yearbook?! Oh, God, no! (*sarcasm*)

Deonna explained how a yearbook staff member pulled her aside one day to let her know that she had to re-take a photo of herself that had originally been planned to go in the yearbook because her pregnant belly was visible. The photo itself was completely innocent – it was just Deonna posing with a few of her friends outside of the school. Kimberly had a similar situation – since her and her boyfriend were voted most likely to get married, they took a picture of a fake proposal scene. And since her pregnant stomach was also visible, that photo was also pulled and Kimberly was asked to take another one that didn’t so obviously show that she was pregnant.

The ridiculous reasoning behind this decision? School administrators feel that “showing off” images of their pregnant students encourages teen pregnancy to other students. White Cloud Public Schools Superintendent Barry Seabrook told the AP that “It’s our feeling… that (the photos) could very well be a contrary message to (the state policy).” This means that the state of Michigan has an abstinence-only approach (that is obviously working out REALLY well for them – just saying) and they felt that showing that two of their students are pregnant goes against that approach.

Pregnancies not allowed in yearbook

I can’t even begin to understand this logic. So you’re telling me that other teens are going to see pictures of a pregnant high school girl and think, “OMG that looks so cool. I totally want to be pregnant now!” I mean, really? I seriously, seriously doubt that seeing a photo of a pregnant girl is going to encourage other teens to run out there and start making babies. I mean, come on. They probably already see these girls in person every single day! How is a yearbook image going to change anything?

The girls are obviously devastated about being told to retake pictures where their stomachs aren’t showing and both are refusing to do so. I don’t blame them at all. This whole situation sucks, to put it bluntly. These girls don’t deserve to be shamed in that way simply because they got pregnant at a young age. And no one will ever be able to convince me that images of them being pregnant are going to encourage other teens to do the same. It’s maybe one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard and what this really sounds like to me is that the school just doesn’t want the pictures included in the yearbook because they’re worried about their image and nothing else.

If Michigan schools really want to keep their students from getting pregnant, maybe they should consider teaching them about safe sex and stop their abstinence-only approach. Telling teens not to have sex is not going to stop all of them from having sex. But informing them about the importance of condoms, birth control and other aspects of safe sex? That actually teaches them something very important that they need to know. Get it together, White Cloud High School.

What do you think about this story? Do you agree or disagree with the school’s decision? Do you think pictures of pregnant girls in the yearbook would encourage teen pregnancy? Tell me in the comments.

What your doctor isn’t telling you about your birth control options

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Unfortunately, there are a good amount of everyday items out there that are dirtier than a toilet – I’m talking stuff you use all day, every day. And when you consider that you probably don’t wash your hands after you touch every single one of these things, that sounds pretty icky. Check out 8 things that are dirtier than a toilet – and sorry in advance for freaking you out.

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Your Handbag

A new study has proven that your handbag accumulates more bacteria than your average toilet seat. That's probably because you throw it on the floor no matter where you are... admit it.

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Your Cell Phone

Yup, that thing that you touch every other minute and constantly put against your cheek holds a TON of bacteria. Like, a lot. Gross.

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Ice Cubes

You might think that frozen water is relatively safe from bacteria, but think again - a study found that more than 70 percent of the ice used in restaurants was dirtier than the toilet water. This stuff goes in YOUR MOUTH. Gross.

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Your Computer Keyboard

You touch your keyboard every single day, but have you ever thought about how it could maybe be making you sick? Probably not. One expert says that keyboards have 5 times more germs than toilets. Gross!

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A Remote Control

Who knows whose hands have been on this thing? All I know is, you might want to start washing your hands after a good TV sesh.

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A Door Handle

This one might seem pretty obvious, but still. It's tough to stop yourself from touching a door handle. It's also tough to remember to clean your hands every time after you touch one.

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The Kitchen Sink

You would think a sink, where things go to get clean, would be relatively free of bacteria, right? Nope. This report says they're dirtier than your entire bathroom.

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The Kitchen Counter

I guess the kitchen is really a hotspot for icky bacteria, huh? Think twice before you eat your food over there.

Source: ShutterStock

Which of these things were you surprised by? What other things are dirtier than a toilet that I missed? Does this gross you out? Tell me in the comments!

Do GUYS get their periods?!

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This is the house in Cleveland where three kidnapping victims were trapped for three years. | Source: WENN

The Cleveland kidnapping is super scary, and it’s even scarier to think that the kidnapper blames the women he abducted. What the heck?! Here’s what happened–and brace yourself, because it’s really, really disturbing:

Ariel Castro kidnapped three young women: Gina DeJesus was 14 when she first went missing in 2004, Amanda Berry about to turn 17 when she disappeared in 2003, and Michelle Knight was 20 when she went missing in 2002. Castro kidnapped the girls by offering them rides home from school and work.

The girls were then subjected to ten years of rape and psychological torture in Castro’s home. Castro got Knight pregnant at least four times, forcing her to abort the baby each time–usually by starving her for weeks, then punching her repeatedly in the abdomen until she miscarried. He also forced Knight to deliver Berry’s baby in a kiddie pool to “contain the mess.” (Castro told Knight that if Berry’s baby died, he would kill her. WTF?!) There were chains and ropes found in the home, and the girls weren’t sure if they’d ever get out.

The girls escaped when Castro accidentally left a door open–and even then they were scared to leave, fearing he was “testing” them–and that they’d face dire punishment if they tried to escape. But they still made an attempt, and thankfully, succeeded when Berry broke through a screen door and got neighbors’ help to call the police.

Since the news broke, suicide notes from Castro have been found, revealing a history of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, Castro didn’t break the cycle–he just expanded it and made it worse and even more horrifying:

I just got a copy of a letter written by Ariel Castro in 2004. Cops found it in his house. He says “I am a sexual predator. I need help”

— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Castro writes “They are here against their will because they made a mistake of getting in a car with a total stranger.”

— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Castro continues “I don’t know why I kept looking for another. I already had 2 in my possession.”

— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Castro writes about wanting to kill himself and “give all the money I saved to my victims.”

— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Castro writes he was surprised how young Gina Dejesus really is cause he thought she was a lotolder.

— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Listen, I know this sounds like advice you get when you’re a little kid, but the reason why you heard it so much is so that it would be drilled into your head: Never get in strangers’ cars. Ever. Ever. The horror these girls went through is unimaginable and unspeakable, and it’s absolutely never the victims’ fault. It’s Ariel Castro’s fault that Ariel Castro kidnapped these girls in Cleveland. Period.

But please–don’t make it any easier for any other sickos to repeat this terrifying act.

Did the Cleveland kidnapping case freak you out? Tell us in the comments!

Are stalkers searching for you?!

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An Abercrombie ad – I guess this is who they want shopping at their stores?

Ugh. That’s how I can best sum up my reaction to this Business Insider article about Abercrombie & Fitch and their absurd body-shaming. Wait, maybe “ugh” isn’t exactly right. Maybe something more gibberish-y, like “lskjdflksjdlfkjsdf” is right.

Let me start this off by saying that this article made me regret the unfortunate hundreds of dollars I spent collectively at Abercrombie & Fitch when I was in high school and college. Yes, I admit it – I used to shop there. I thought the destroyed jeans were adorable and I, for some reason, adored the preppy polo shirts and overly-scented sweatshirts (I have to admit, their sweatshirts are super soft). Even when I was obsessed with Abercrombie (or Aber, as my friends and I affectionately named it), I heard horrible stories about the store and the brand. They were so awful that I slowly stopped shopping there. And now with this story? I think it’s safe to say I’ll never spend my money there again.

According to Robin Lewis, co-author of the book The New Rules of Retail and CEO of the newsletter The Robin Report, Abercrombie CEO Mike Jeffries has been participating in some serious body-shaming. According to Robin, “He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people. He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

If you’ve ever shopped at Abercrombie and Fitch before, you may have noticed that women’s sizes don’t go larger than size “Large” (And, let’s face it, Abercrombie’s large is actually pretty tiny). You may have also noticed that women’s jeans don’t go larger than a size 10. A size 10! While men’s sizes do up to XXL, Robin says that is most likely because some athletic guys with a lot of muscle need larger sizes. So, basically, Abercrombie CEO Mike Jeffries doesn’t want any larger people shopping in his store.

RAGE. SO MUCH RAGE. 

Another ad.

Here are some things that will make you even more angry. In case you thought Robin might be jumping to conclusions, Mike had some stuff to say about this himself. In a 2006 interview with Salon, Mike explained how sex appeal is the core of Abercrombie: “It’s almost everything. That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”

He also doesn’t seem to care at all that he’s alienating people based on something as superficial as their size. He said, “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes] and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.”

Wow. Where do I even begin?

While it’s not abnormal for a specialty retail store like Abercrombie to market to a specific group of people (think Adidas marketing to more athletic types or Express marketing to working women), it’s just really not cool for Abercrombie to refuse to sell larger sizes simply because the CEO deems larger people “not cool.” What is that?! So, just because someone wears a size 12 or a size 22, they’re not cool enough for you? That’s really the message you want to send? In my opinion, that’s disgusting.

As if this horrible body-shaming weren’t enough, Abercrombie & Fitch has also been accused, in the past, of being too racist. If you remember, a few years ago there was a ton of news about how Abercrombie and Hollister (owned by the same company) only hired white employees. And if you’ve ever shopped at either store, it’s hard to argue with that. There were a lot of lawsuits happening and the whole thing was just awful.

So, yeah, I’m pretty much done with Abercrombie – and you should be too. We should be accepting of everyone’s bodies. We shouldn’t be judging people on how “cool” they are based on what size clothing they wear. We shouldn’t be judging people on how “cool” they are, period. Who is Mike Jeffries to say that larger people aren’t cool enough to shop in his store? Buying their clothing is supporting their store and I am definitely not about to support a company that openly body-shames people and makes people feel badly about themselves. Get it together, Abercrombie. Or maybe just go away altogether. I think we’ll learn to live without the throbbing techno music blasting through the mall and the nausea-inducing scent of your store, anyway.

Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch? Does all of this information make you really angry? Are you going to stop shopping there? Tell us in the comments.

Find out why Abercrombie would have paid The Situation to stop wearing their clothes

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I don’t know how I would have made it this far in life without my best friends. I think I owe a lot of my success to my BFFs because they were right by my side, encouraging me and helping me along the way. Best friends are essential in life, in my opinion.

Well, Thomas’s private day school in Battersea, South-West London doesn’t seem to agree. In fact, the school doesn’t allow students to have best friends. Headmaster Ben Thomas said, “You can get very possessive friendships, and it is much easier if they share friendships and have a wide range of good friends rather than obsessing too much about who their best friend is.”

While I think it’s important to foster socialization and friendship among all students, you can’t force everyone to get along. And you certainly can’t ban students from having best friends! That’s ridiculous! This BFF ban isn’t officially a school policy, but Thomas said he’d be “happy” to make it one.

Thomas goes on to explain that “These obsessive friendships can be very hurtful for those who are left out of them, and ostracising is as painful as physical bullying. These very obsessive friendships do need intervention and careful management by adults.”

Having a best friend does not make you a bully. If there is bullying going on, then the school should focus on how to resolve bullying. I spent a lot of time with my best friends in school to the point where we would only hang out with each other. But that’s what happens with groups of friends! When you find a group that you like, you hang out with that group, right? That didn’t mean I wasn’t friends with other students, but I preferred to hang out with my friends.

I think it’s absolutely insane to tell students who they can and can’t be friends with. And how will this be monitored? If you’re spending every lunch period with the same friend, you get a detention? It’s so stupid, I can’t even stand it.

I understand the idea that kids need to learn to be friends with all kinds of people. That’s important! But you will not get along with everyone in your life. That’s human nature, and it’s silly and quite ignorant that a school thinks otherwise. It’s even sillier that they think they have the right to tell their students who they choose to spend their time with.

I know personally, a best friend ban wouldn’t have stopped my BFFs and I from spending time together.

What would you do if your school told you that you could’t have a best friend? Can you imagine life without best friends? Tell us in the comments!
 

And I think best friends are better than frenemies, don’t you?

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