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It’s Okay To Be Scared And Anxious After A Natural Disaster

Caitlin Corsetti — Tue, 21 May 2013 17:27:13 +0000

Source: Shutterstock

Being online today, it’s nearly impossible to escape the devastating images and news about the tornado that hit Moore, Oklahoma yesterday. The 2-mile wide tornado blew threw the town outside Oklahoma City, taking out elementary schools, hundreds of homes and 24 lives and counting.

It’s complete and utter chaos, and I’m sitting here trying to control my anxiety over the images. I want you to know that it’s totally okay to feel scared and anxious when you see things like this, whether you’ve experienced a natural disaster or not.

Two years ago, I was in the April 27 tornado disaster in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. I remember sitting in the bathroom with my roommate watching the weather. Suddenly, they showed a picture of the massive EF-4 tornado in Tuscaloosa. And then our power went out. I remember slamming the bathroom door shut and diving into the bathtub. It sounded like a freight train.

After it was over, we walked out to see sawdust and glass and pure terror. What used to be tall trees and houses across the street was now completely leveled. We ran up to the top of our parking deck to assess what had just happened, but there was nothing left. Our town was destroyed.

Eventually, the city told students to leave. The cleanup crews and professionals needed us to leave because it was dangerous for us. No one wanted to leave Tuscaloosa in shambles, but we had to. I spent the entire summer in post-traumatic stress therapy. I cried at the sight of a cloud and panicked any time it started to rain.

Seeing the images from what happened in Oklahoma is breaking my heart because I know exactly how they’re feeling. I didn’t sleep last night because I was reliving April 27. I feel scared and very anxious today, and I probably will for a few days.

In therapy, I learned that dealing with this kind of anxiety is a little different. When you try to process natural disasters, you have trouble understanding that it was out of your control. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it.

My therapist prescribed me puzzle and word games. Seriously. Anytime there’s a storm, I play some Scrabble on my phone or do a word search. Games that work your brain help take your mind off whatever’s going on because you have to focus.

Even if you’re nowhere near Oklahoma, it’s okay to be afraid and worried. It’s normal to feel scared after a natural disaster, and one of the best things you can do is to be aware and prepared. Take tornado watches and warnings seriously. If your city tells you to evacuate or get into a safe location, do it. Weather is no joke. Friends of mine joke that I’m paranoid, but I’d rather be paranoid instead of anything else.

I’m feeling quite helpless with Oklahoma that I can’t be there like I was in Tuscaloosa to help clean up and just do something. But we can still help from a distance. If you want to help, you have some options.

- Donate blood or money through the Red Cross

- Donate to Salvation Army or Oklahoma Disaster Relief

- Contact your local charities to see if they’re accepting donations of clothes and supplies, which they’ll transport for you

- Hold your own supply drive to collect everything from clothes to toiletries

Honestly, from someone who’s been there, any little bit helps. We had people from all over sending shipments of food, clothing, water, you name it.

Has the Oklahoma tornado affected you in any way? Are you anxious or scared? Tell us in the comments!

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Are These Girls Encouraging Teen Pregnancy In Their Yearbook?

Jessica Booth — Fri, 17 May 2013 18:39:41 +0000

Pregnancies not allowed in yearbook

In horrible school news today, two pregnant teens had their photos removed from their yearbook at a Michigan high school because administrators felt that – get this – the girls’ baby bumps were encouraging teen pregnancy. Um, I’m sorry, what?!

The students, from White Cloud High School, are obviously really upset about this seriously awful form of pregnancy shaming. Junior Deonna Harris and senior Kimberly Haney told WOOD-TV about how their photos were pulled from the high school yearbook because their baby bumps were visible. A pregnant stomach in a yearbook?! Oh, God, no! (*sarcasm*)

Deonna explained how a yearbook staff member pulled her aside one day to let her know that she had to re-take a photo of herself that had originally been planned to go in the yearbook because her pregnant belly was visible. The photo itself was completely innocent – it was just Deonna posing with a few of her friends outside of the school. Kimberly had a similar situation – since her and her boyfriend were voted most likely to get married, they took a picture of a fake proposal scene. And since her pregnant stomach was also visible, that photo was also pulled and Kimberly was asked to take another one that didn’t so obviously show that she was pregnant.

The ridiculous reasoning behind this decision? School administrators feel that “showing off” images of their pregnant students encourages teen pregnancy to other students. White Cloud Public Schools Superintendent Barry Seabrook told the AP that “It’s our feeling… that (the photos) could very well be a contrary message to (the state policy).” This means that the state of Michigan has an abstinence-only approach (that is obviously working out REALLY well for them – just saying) and they felt that showing that two of their students are pregnant goes against that approach.

I can’t even begin to understand this logic. So you’re telling me that other teens are going to see pictures of a pregnant high school girl and think, “OMG that looks so cool. I totally want to be pregnant now!” I mean, really? I seriously, seriously doubt that seeing a photo of a pregnant girl is going to encourage other teens to run out there and start making babies. I mean, come on. They probably already see these girls in person every single day! How is a yearbook image going to change anything?

The girls are obviously devastated about being told to retake pictures where their stomachs aren’t showing and both are refusing to do so. I don’t blame them at all. This whole situation sucks, to put it bluntly. These girls don’t deserve to be shamed in that way simply because they got pregnant at a young age. And no one will ever be able to convince me that images of them being pregnant are going to encourage other teens to do the same. It’s maybe one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard and what this really sounds like to me is that the school just doesn’t want the pictures included in the yearbook because they’re worried about their image and nothing else.

If Michigan schools really want to keep their students from getting pregnant, maybe they should consider teaching them about safe sex and stop their abstinence-only approach. Telling teens not to have sex is not going to stop all of them from having sex. But informing them about the importance of condoms, birth control and other aspects of safe sex? That actually teaches them something very important that they need to know. Get it together, White Cloud High School.

What do you think about this story? Do you agree or disagree with the school’s decision? Do you think pictures of pregnant girls in the yearbook would encourage teen pregnancy? Tell me in the comments.

What your doctor isn’t telling you about your birth control options

8 Unexpected Things That Are Dirtier Than A Toilet

Jessica Booth — Tue, 14 May 2013 21:46:49 +0000

Toilet bowls are pretty disgusting… I don’t think I need to explain why. When you think about what goes on in or around a toilet bowl, you would probably think that a toilet would be one of the dirtiest things you could touch. But, um, you’d be wrong – very, very wrong.

Unfortunately, there are a good amount of everyday items out there that are dirtier than a toilet – I’m talking stuff you use all day, every day. And when you consider that you probably don’t wash your hands after you touch every single one of these things, that sounds pretty icky. Check out 8 things that are dirtier than a toilet – and sorry in advance for freaking you out.

Your Handbag

A new study has proven that your handbag accumulates more bacteria than your average toilet seat. That's probably because you throw it on the floor no matter where you are... admit it.

Your Cell Phone

Yup, that thing that you touch every other minute and constantly put against your cheek holds a TON of bacteria. Like, a lot. Gross.

Ice Cubes

You might think that frozen water is relatively safe from bacteria, but think again - a study found that more than 70 percent of the ice used in restaurants was dirtier than the toilet water. This stuff goes in YOUR MOUTH. Gross.

Your Computer Keyboard

You touch your keyboard every single day, but have you ever thought about how it could maybe be making you sick? Probably not. One expert says that keyboards have 5 times more germs than toilets. Gross!

A Remote Control

Who knows whose hands have been on this thing? All I know is, you might want to start washing your hands after a good TV sesh.

A Door Handle

This one might seem pretty obvious, but still. It's tough to stop yourself from touching a door handle. It's also tough to remember to clean your hands every time after you touch one.

The Kitchen Sink

You would think a sink, where things go to get clean, would be relatively free of bacteria, right? Nope. This report says they're dirtier than your entire bathroom.

The Kitchen Counter

I guess the kitchen is really a hotspot for icky bacteria, huh? Think twice before you eat your food over there.

Which of these things were you surprised by? What other things are dirtier than a toilet that I missed? Does this gross you out? Tell me in the comments!

Do GUYS get their periods?!

The Cleveland Kidnapping Case: What Happened & How You Can Stay Safe

Jessica Sager — Thu, 09 May 2013 20:19:41 +0000

This is the house in Cleveland where three kidnapping victims were trapped for three years. | Source: WENN

The Cleveland kidnapping is super scary, and it’s even scarier to think that the kidnapper blames the women he abducted. What the heck?! Here’s what happened–and brace yourself, because it’s really, really disturbing:

Ariel Castro kidnapped three young women: Gina DeJesus was 14 when she first went missing in 2004, Amanda Berry about to turn 17 when she disappeared in 2003, and Michelle Knight was 20 when she went missing in 2002. Castro kidnapped the girls by offering them rides home from school and work.

The girls were then subjected to ten years of rape and psychological torture in Castro’s home. Castro got Knight pregnant at least four times, forcing her to abort the baby each time–usually by starving her for weeks, then punching her repeatedly in the abdomen until she miscarried. He also forced Knight to deliver Berry’s baby in a kiddie pool to “contain the mess.” (Castro told Knight that if Berry’s baby died, he would kill her. WTF?!) There were chains and ropes found in the home, and the girls weren’t sure if they’d ever get out.

The girls escaped when Castro accidentally left a door open–and even then they were scared to leave, fearing he was “testing” them–and that they’d face dire punishment if they tried to escape. But they still made an attempt, and thankfully, succeeded when Berry broke through a screen door and got neighbors’ help to call the police.

Since the news broke, suicide notes from Castro have been found, revealing a history of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, Castro didn’t break the cycle–he just expanded it and made it worse and even more horrifying:

I just got a copy of a letter written by Ariel Castro in 2004. Cops found it in his house. He says “I am a sexual predator. I need help”
— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Castro writes “They are here against their will because they made a mistake of getting in a car with a total stranger.”
— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Castro continues “I don’t know why I kept looking for another. I already had 2 in my possession.”
— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Castro writes about wanting to kill himself and “give all the money I saved to my victims.”
— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Castro writes he was surprised how young Gina Dejesus really is cause he thought she was a lotolder.
— Scott Taylor (@ScottTaylor19) May 9, 2013

Listen, I know this sounds like advice you get when you’re a little kid, but the reason why you heard it so much is so that it would be drilled into your head: Never get in strangers’ cars. Ever. Ever. The horror these girls went through is unimaginable and unspeakable, and it’s absolutely never the victims’ fault. It’s Ariel Castro’s fault that Ariel Castro kidnapped these girls in Cleveland. Period.

But please–don’t make it any easier for any other sickos to repeat this terrifying act.

Did the Cleveland kidnapping case freak you out? Tell us in the comments!

Are stalkers searching for you?!

Find out why Abercrombie would have paid The Situation to stop wearing their clothes

Does Abercrombie & Fitch Hate Your Body?

Jessica Booth — Wed, 08 May 2013 21:50:56 +0000

An Abercrombie ad – I guess this is who they want shopping at their stores?

Ugh. That’s how I can best sum up my reaction to this Business Insider article about Abercrombie & Fitch and their absurd body-shaming. Wait, maybe “ugh” isn’t exactly right. Maybe something more gibberish-y, like “lskjdflksjdlfkjsdf” is right.

Let me start this off by saying that this article made me regret the unfortunate hundreds of dollars I spent collectively at Abercrombie & Fitch when I was in high school and college. Yes, I admit it – I used to shop there. I thought the destroyed jeans were adorable and I, for some reason, adored the preppy polo shirts and overly-scented sweatshirts (I have to admit, their sweatshirts are super soft). Even when I was obsessed with Abercrombie (or Aber, as my friends and I affectionately named it), I heard horrible stories about the store and the brand. They were so awful that I slowly stopped shopping there. And now with this story? I think it’s safe to say I’ll never spend my money there again.

According to Robin Lewis, co-author of the book The New Rules of Retail and CEO of the newsletter The Robin Report, Abercrombie CEO Mike Jeffries has been participating in some serious body-shaming. According to Robin, “He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people. He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

If you’ve ever shopped at Abercrombie and Fitch before, you may have noticed that women’s sizes don’t go larger than size “Large” (And, let’s face it, Abercrombie’s large is actually pretty tiny). You may have also noticed that women’s jeans don’t go larger than a size 10. A size 10! While men’s sizes do up to XXL, Robin says that is most likely because some athletic guys with a lot of muscle need larger sizes. So, basically, Abercrombie CEO Mike Jeffries doesn’t want any larger people shopping in his store.

RAGE. SO MUCH RAGE.

Another ad.

Here are some things that will make you even more angry. In case you thought Robin might be jumping to conclusions, Mike had some stuff to say about this himself. In a 2006 interview with Salon, Mike explained how sex appeal is the core of Abercrombie: “It’s almost everything. That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”

He also doesn’t seem to care at all that he’s alienating people based on something as superficial as their size. He said, “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes] and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.”

Wow. Where do I even begin?

While it’s not abnormal for a specialty retail store like Abercrombie to market to a specific group of people (think Adidas marketing to more athletic types or Express marketing to working women), it’s just really not cool for Abercrombie to refuse to sell larger sizes simply because the CEO deems larger people “not cool.” What is that?! So, just because someone wears a size 12 or a size 22, they’re not cool enough for you? That’s really the message you want to send? In my opinion, that’s disgusting.

As if this horrible body-shaming weren’t enough, Abercrombie & Fitch has also been accused, in the past, of being too racist. If you remember, a few years ago there was a ton of news about how Abercrombie and Hollister (owned by the same company) only hired white employees. And if you’ve ever shopped at either store, it’s hard to argue with that. There were a lot of lawsuits happening and the whole thing was just awful.

So, yeah, I’m pretty much done with Abercrombie – and you should be too. We should be accepting of everyone’s bodies. We shouldn’t be judging people on how “cool” they are based on what size clothing they wear. We shouldn’t be judging people on how “cool” they are, period. Who is Mike Jeffries to say that larger people aren’t cool enough to shop in his store? Buying their clothing is supporting their store and I am definitely not about to support a company that openly body-shames people and makes people feel badly about themselves. Get it together, Abercrombie. Or maybe just go away altogether. I think we’ll learn to live without the throbbing techno music blasting through the mall and the nausea-inducing scent of your store, anyway.

Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch? Does all of this information make you really angry? Are you going to stop shopping there? Tell us in the comments.

And I think best friends are better than frenemies, don’t you?

School Tells Students They Can’t Have Best Friends

Caitlin Corsetti — Tue, 07 May 2013 20:09:11 +0000

Source: Shutterstock

I’m lucky to have a lot of close friends, but I only have a few best friends. Not 15 like Taylor Swift, but a handful. My best friends are the ones who are there for me at the drop of a hat who will never judge me for what I do, even if they don’t agree with me. They will always defend me and answer the phone in the middle of the night. They would do anything for me, and vice versa.

I don’t know how I would have made it this far in life without my best friends. I think I owe a lot of my success to my BFFs because they were right by my side, encouraging me and helping me along the way. Best friends are essential in life, in my opinion.

Well, Thomas’s private day school in Battersea, South-West London doesn’t seem to agree. In fact, the school doesn’t allow students to have best friends. Headmaster Ben Thomas said, “You can get very possessive friendships, and it is much easier if they share friendships and have a wide range of good friends rather than obsessing too much about who their best friend is.”

While I think it’s important to foster socialization and friendship among all students, you can’t force everyone to get along. And you certainly can’t ban students from having best friends! That’s ridiculous! This BFF ban isn’t officially a school policy, but Thomas said he’d be “happy” to make it one.

Thomas goes on to explain that “These obsessive friendships can be very hurtful for those who are left out of them, and ostracising is as painful as physical bullying. These very obsessive friendships do need intervention and careful management by adults.”

Having a best friend does not make you a bully. If there is bullying going on, then the school should focus on how to resolve bullying. I spent a lot of time with my best friends in school to the point where we would only hang out with each other. But that’s what happens with groups of friends! When you find a group that you like, you hang out with that group, right? That didn’t mean I wasn’t friends with other students, but I preferred to hang out with my friends.

I think it’s absolutely insane to tell students who they can and can’t be friends with. And how will this be monitored? If you’re spending every lunch period with the same friend, you get a detention? It’s so stupid, I can’t even stand it.

I understand the idea that kids need to learn to be friends with all kinds of people. That’s important! But you will not get along with everyone in your life. That’s human nature, and it’s silly and quite ignorant that a school thinks otherwise. It’s even sillier that they think they have the right to tell their students who they choose to spend their time with.

I know personally, a best friend ban wouldn’t have stopped my BFFs and I from spending time together.

What would you do if your school told you that you could’t have a best friend? Can you imagine life without best friends? Tell us in the comments!

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Is Talking About Yourself A Sign Of Depression & Anxiety?!

Jessica Sager — Tue, 07 May 2013 18:37:17 +0000

Depression and anxiety may prompt you to talk about yourself–or vice versa. | Source: ShutterStock

Depression and anxiety suck, but it’s got another surprising correlation: talking about yourself. Apparently people who are into “me, myself and I” above asking about anyone else’s day are more prone to full-on bouts of depression and anxiety.

Scientists conducted a study and it showed people who use singular first person pronouns the most–meaning “I,” “me,” “myself”–tended to be more anxious and depressed than people who used plural pronouns like “we” or “us.”

Not only were the “me, myself and I” people more likely to suffer depression and anxiety, but they also had more trouble in interpersonal relationships than people who said “us” and “we.”

One expert explained, “Using first-person singular pronouns highlights the self as a distinct entity whereas, using first-person plural pronouns emphasize [being part of] social relationships.” Translation? People who say “me,” “myself” and “I” are less likely to have or to associate themselves with social situations with other people.

Experts also say that people who use the words “I,” “me” and “myself” are needier and try harder to seek attention than their peers who approach things more socially or in groups.

However, it’s unclear whether one causes the other or if it’s sort of cyclical. People with depression or anxiety may need more attention than their peers without those disorders, and they may feel more lonely and isolated as a result of suffering from anxiety and depression to begin with. If someone’s lonely, chances are interpersonal relationships aren’t the easiest thing in the world for them, so it’s important to take this study with a grain of salt. There are times in life when everyone talks about themselves more often than usual. And just because you or a pal use “I” instead of “we” doesn’t mean you have a mental illness–and just because you have a mental illness, it doesn’t mean you’re self-absorbed!

Do you think talking about yourself is a sign of depression or anxiety? Do you think people who suffer from anxiety or depression are more likely to talk about themselves? Have you ever suffered from anxiety or depression? Tell us in the comments!

Is depression contagious!?

Can A Tattoo Be A Form Of Domestic Violence?!

Jessica Sager — Mon, 06 May 2013 16:51:36 +0000

Here’s hoping she got those tattoos on her own free will. Dating and domestic violence tattoos aren’t pretty. | Source: ShutterStock

Tattoos are a form of art and a form of self-expression, but for a few women in scary situations, a tattoo is actually a symbol of domestic violence. Say what?!

A new form of domestic and dating violence is emerging: Forced tattoos. Abusers will either physically force their victims to get tattoos–often of their abusers’ names. Other times abusers will drug their victims until they’re either unconscious or just not lucid enough to give actual consent to getting a tattoo. And often the tattoos themselves are as dangerous as the dating and domestic violence abuse situations that lead to them.

Most domestic violence tattoos–also called branding tattoos (think of how cattle get singed with symbols)–are usually given without actual tattoo ink, outside of tattoo parlors and sometimes even without tattoo guns, similar to prison tattoos. Some even use pencil lead, which can make you super sick.

A tattoo removal expert named Dawn Maestas went through a brutal domestic violence tattoo situation, and since then has taken to helping other victims. “This is control,” she explained of abusers forcing dating violence victims to get inked. “This is ‘you belong to me.’” She added, “I’ve had victims who have been drugged and tattooed, who have been physically held down and forced tattooed, and I get angry. I get angry because I know what these tattoos mean.”

While the scars of domestic violence may be permanent, the tattoos don’t have to be. ”The tattoos are the one thing i get to take away,” Ms. Maestas fumed. “They’re the one thing I get to take away.”

Keep this in mind if anyone ever asks you get a tattoo of any kind that you’re not into, isn’t your idea or that you don’t want. You’ve seen celebs get tattoos of people’s names and watch the relationships fail (remember how Angelina Jolie had “Billy Bob” on her bicep?), but a domestic violence tattoo is even more dangerous and risky. It’s not just the sign of a doomed relationship. It’s also a sign of a doomed spirit if you don’t get help. If you’re in a relationship and experiencing dating violence–whether or not there’s a tattoo involved–get help here.

Would you ever get a tattoo for a guy? Have you heard of dating violence tattoos before? Have you ever been pressured into getting a tattoo by anyone else? Tell us in the comments!

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Celebrity dance-off: Vote for your faves!

Students Made A Twerking Video And Got In Serious Trouble: Is The Punishment Too Severe?

Jessica Booth — Thu, 02 May 2013 20:16:15 +0000

Well, here’s your unexpected news of the day: 33 students from Scripps Ranch High School in San Diego got in serious trouble for participating in a… twerking video. Yes, twerking. And when I say serious trouble, I’m not exaggerating. Guys, this thing has even evolved into a full-on Twitter trend. So, that’s how you know things are legit.

Here’s what went down: 32 students from Scripps Ranch High spent their 6th period putting together their very own twerking video. The video features about 30 girls upside down against the school building twerking. The 33rd person filmed the whole thing. They then used school equipment to edit the video and put it up on YouTube. And, um, school officials were not happy.

The 33 students, including the student who filmed and edited the video, were all suspended from school – and that’s even the worst part. They were also banned from prom and from walking in their graduation ceremony. Whaaaaat?!

Obviously, students and parents are all freaking out about the super severe punishment. Most of them, including parents, think their punishment is way too harsh and unfair. The students have even started up a Twitter trend called #FreeTheTwerkTeam. So far, school officials have refused to budge on the issue (they won’t even discuss it with any news outlets at the moment), although one student did tell NBC San Diego that “the seniors involved are on senior review and have to ask for their prom and graduation back in front of a panel.”

As harsh as this punishment sounds though, here’s the thing: students apparently had signed a contract agreeing not to do anything, um, exactly like this. The contract says: “At Scripps Ranch High school there is zero tolerance for students who cause major disruptions at school or school activities. Any student who causes a major disruption will receive a five (5) day suspension, a possible new school placement and may be arrested.”

Before I get into this, let’s just look at this twerking GIF to remind us of what twerking is.

Miley Cyrus twerking

Obviously, not the best dance to do during the middle of your average school day.

Listen, I get that these students were just trying to have a good time. I’m assuming that the majority of them are seniors and they’re probably dealing with all sorts of senioritis and they also wanted to become YouTube stars. I get it. Twerking is fun and YouTube fame is very enticing. But. BUT. I’m about to sound like a huge grandma here.

The thing is, you can’t do this kind of thing at school, during 6th period, when you should probably be in study hall or something. If you want to make a video with 30 of your friends, go for it! I support you. But you should probably think about it first and plan to do it somewhere that is not on school grounds during a school day. That’s just silly.

So, I get that the school had to punish these students… but I feel like their punishment was just too harsh. I mean, suspension, banned from prom and banned from walking your high school graduation? That’s a big deal. And it’s just a twerking video – yes, it was very sexual and inappropriate, but I don’t think it needed this serious of a reaction. It’s not like they hurt someone or bullied someone, you know? They just danced!

On another note, though, I can’t help but wonder where the heck all the teachers were while this happening. Are you really telling me that during the entire time they were filming this, not one teacher walked by and asked them what was going on? I mean, really? That seems kind of impossible to me.

Either way, though, I want to know what you guys think!

What do you think about this twerking video? Was the punishment way too harsh? Do you think this was stupid or funny? Tell me in the comments!