Source: Shutterstock

I told my best friend, who tried to assure me that I wasn’t pregnant, but I didn’t believe her. I don’t even think she believed herself. I knew I had to take a pregnancy test.

I drove to a drug store near my house that I never went to because I didn’t want someone from my neighborhood to see me. Rumors fly pretty quickly where I’m from. But of course, as I was walking to the cash register with a pregnancy test in hand, I saw a girl I used to be friends with. I’m not sure if she gave me a look of pity or amusement.

I went home and holed myself up in my bathroom. I peed on the stick and waited the three minutes, which felt like hours. I didn’t want to look at it, but I had to.

And it was positive.

I took a pregnancy test, and it came up positive. I wanted to cry and throw up, but I couldn’t do either. I just stood there in my bathroom holding a positive pregnancy test and tried to think of what to do and who to call and OMG HOW DO I TELL MY PARENTS?!

Would I have the baby and be a teen mom? Would the dad even be supportive? Would I get married? Would I still go to college? Would I put it up for adoption? Would I have an abortion? I had no idea how to answer these questions because even though I had thought about it before I started having sex, that positive test changed everything. Everything I thought I knew went out the window. I didn’t know what I was going to do.

I called my BFF and we agreed that I obviously needed to go to the doctor to be sure. I cried my eyes out that night, thinking that my life was over. I decided to wait until I was absolutely sure to tell the guy.

I went to the doctor and to my complete and utter relief, I was not pregnant. NOT PREGNANT. Not even remotely pregnant.

It was homecoming season, midterms and I was applying for college. As a cheerleader I had longer practices, sometimes twice a day. To say I was stressed would be total understatement. My doctor told me that my insane stress level was the reason for my late period and that once I calmed down, it would come back.

As for the false positive test, she wasn’t sure. There are several ways a false positive can happen. You can use the test wrong. The test can be defective. You can have a chemical pregnancy, which is basically a miscarriage before a fetus can even develop. Your medication can affect the test.

I don’t know why my test came up positive, but it did and it was the scariest moment of my life at the time. I didn’t have sex for a long time after that, and it made me more careful than ever.
 
Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? Have you ever tested positive when you weren’t pregnant? Tell us in the comments!
 

Jessica had a phone baby with DoSomething’s pregnancy text campaign

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Teenage pregnancy is a problem, but this isn’t a solution for it. | Source: ShutterStock

Teen pregnancy rates are at an almost all-time low in the U.S., which is awesome. But it’s still a bit of a problem, so New York City is taking action… but in a really crappy way.

In a series of new public service announcement posters aimed at curbing teenage pregnancy, there are pictures of sad, confused babies with depressing facts and statistics. Of course, this is designed to make you stop and think, “Well, I probably should wrap it up. Or wait. Or go on the pill. Or otherwise somehow not get pregnant and keep a kid.”

These are all commendable notions, and I applaud New York City’s intentions on ending what is, in some places and demographics, an epidemic. But. BUT! I don’t think finger wagging, guilt or humiliation are necessarily the way to go about this. Not sure what I mean? Let’s take a look at the posters in question for a better idea.

Source: NYC.gov

In this ad, teenage pregnancy is deterred with the idea that any kids you have will ultimately fail at life. Not only is this disturbing, but what about the teen moms who are out there already? What if they see these? What if their kids see these? This screams of insensitivity and a real lack of foresight.

Source: NYC.gov

Oh, great. If your life wasn’t hard enough already, you’re also going to die alone. Do you feel better yet? Wait, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?

Source: NYC.gov

Okay, not gonna lie: This one didn’t bother me much because it addresses the fact that guys play a role in teenage pregnancy, too. We can’t knock ourselves up, so why are we the only ones who get judged for it?

Source: NYC.gov

Okay, okay. Fair enough. Kids are expensive. I spend a ton on my nephews and niece alone just to spoil them.

Source: NYC.gov

Okay, fine. But this won’t fix that.

You see what I mean? These are all valid points, and statistically they’re true. But they reek of judgment, and being judgmental isn’t going to fix anything. Education, which the PSAs cite in the last photo, is the true key to ending teenage pregnancy, as is access to affordable birth control, sex education and increased self-worth. If we continue to look down on teenage pregnancy and judge teen moms, we’re wasting valuable time that could be used to provide resources to prevent the root causes.

This is aside from the fact that it seems like the teenage pregnancy PSAs make it seem like teenagers are getting pregnant on purpose, which is pretty absurd. If that’s what they think is really going on, you’d think they have used pictures of ugly kids to be more discouraging.

Do you think these teenage pregnancy PSAs are effective? Do you think these ads will discourage teenage pregnancy? How do you think we should curb teenage pregnancy? What would you do or say differently in these teenage pregnancy PSAs? Tell us in the comments!

Think you want a baby? Think again!

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As if being 16 and pregnant weren’t scary enough, imagine your parents forcing you to get an abortion. | Source: ShutterStock

Abortion is a touchy subject for a lot of reasons–we know just from reading the comments here! (And yes, we do read them, and we love that you guys are so passionate about your views. You’re awesome.) It’s evident from reading a lot of them that your parents probably influence how you feel about the subject, which is good–it means you’re talking about it!

But a lot of you disagree with your parents on abortion, which is great too. Except in the case of one girl from Texas, who is actually–get this–taking her parents to court. She thinks that the are forcing her to get an abortion against her will. Dude, how scary is that?

The girl in the case is 16 years old, and she’s two months along. The lawsuit says she wants to keep the baby, but that her parents are adamantly against it–and resorting to some really dirty tactics to get her to have an abortion. In the girl’s lawsuit, it says that her mom “invited the paternal grandparents to a bar for further discussion, where she suggested that she might slip her an abortion pill through deception.”

Uh, how messed up and horrifying is that?

The suit also says that her dad said that “he was going to take her to have an abortion and that the decision was his, end of story.” Pops, just because you helped make her uterus doesn’t mean it’s yours.

The girl’s lawyer told reporters, “We were asking judge to stop them physically forcing her to have an abortion. She is legally protected. They cannot drag her to get an abortion, force an abortion on our client.” The girl was granted a temporary restraining order from the judge in order to save the baby’s life.

Here’s why this is screwed up. Even if you agree with abortion, it should be your choice. The girl’s lawyer pointed this out, saying, “What Roe established is minors have the choice. And when they do make the choice, folks are shocked that they want to carry the baby.”

Here’s the thing, though. The girl’s lawyer is being provided to her by a staunch anti-abortion group, which may also be influencing her decision–because you know that even if they genuinely want to help her, which is commendable, that they’re after the publicity that will ultimately come with it, too.

If everyone would just hear this girl out and let her make up her own mind and give her unbiased information, what could be the biggest decision of her life would be made a lot less traumatically. Instead, everyone with what may be ulterior motives is jumping in and trying to sway her one way or the other–when it’s her body, her choice and eventually, her baby.

Whether or not you agree with abortion, you can probably agree that this is a crappy situation for her to be stuck in. Here’s hoping she makes the best choice not for her parents, not for a pro-life lobby, not for a pro-choice lobby, but for herself.

Do you think the girl should have taken her parents to court over having an abortion? Do you think she should have an abortion or keep the baby? Do you think the anti-abortion group paying for her lawyer is trying to get publicity from the case? Do you think her parents had good intentions when they tried getting her to have an abortion, or that they were just being scary? Tell us in the comments!

These abortion facts may surprise you!

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Crisis pregnancy centers sell false information to scared girls. Not cool. | Source

Wrong. Here’s why you should never go to one, and why one state is trying to limit how they can advertise their services.

Crisis pregnancy centers are not what they sound like. On the surface, crisis pregnancy centers pretty much advertise themselves as full-service reproductive health clinics, similar to a Planned Parenthood center. However, crisis pregnancy centers actually are funded by religious groups and are designed to actually dissuade you from getting abortions or using birth control.

Aside from their false advertising practices, crisis pregnancy centers also use other shady practices. They provide factually false information on abortion procedures and birth control to girls who go there seeking help in a dramatic and possibly traumatic time in their lives. How can you make an informed decision when the people who are supposed to be helping you are deliberately lying to you and telling you the wrong thing? What’s more, crisis pregnancy centers often hold little to no regard for confidentiality–which means, when you’re dealing with something you’d probably want to keep very private, they have no issues with putting your life on blast.

What may be the worst thing about crisis pregnancy centers is that they are a waste of time–and in situations like an unplanned pregnancy, time is incredibly important. Regardless of whether you choose to keep the baby or abort it, you need as much time as you can get to not only make your choice, but to go through with whatever it is–especially if you want to get an abortion, since depending on where you live, you may not be able to get one after a certain point. And that’s exactly what crisis pregnancy centers are going for.

Thankfully, an appeals court in Baltimore is hearing a case about crisis pregnancy centers, and if the original case is overturned, crisis pregnancy centers within Baltimore will be required to post a sign within their offices saying that they “do not provide or make referrals for abortion or comprehensive birth control services.” Similar measures were passed in New York City, Austin, Texas, and San Francisco.

Please know that we’re not trying to tell you what to believe, nor are we trying to steer you more towards one decision than another. We just want whatever decision you make to be one that is informed and that is best for you. Even if you disagree with abortion on a moral or spiritual level–and dude, that’s totally fine, and that’s your right–almost all beliefs and creeds disagree with deception, and that’s what crisis pregnancy centers are really selling.

What do you think about crisis pregnancy centers? Should they have to change what they call themselves? Should they be allowed to lie to people? Tell us in the comments!

Can Your School Force You To Take A Pregnancy Test?!

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This won't be cute after five minutes. Seriously. | Source: Shutterstock

Babies are pretty cool. They’re usually happy to see you, they’ll always love you, and they’re super cute! But that doesn’t mean having a baby right now is a good idea. In fact, as a teen, it’s normally a pretty bad idea.

First off, babies are freakin’ expensive. We’re  gonna throw some numbers at you: 80 percent of unwed teen mothers have to go on welfare to support themselves and their babies. Having a baby makes going to school and/or work a lot tougher. Plus, it’s harder to get a good job considering only one-third of teen moms get a high school diploma. And with the economy being so rough that people with college degrees often work minimum wage jobs, you can’t even imagine how hard it’d be to get work with limited availability and limited education. And continuing on with your education is tough too–only 1.5% of teen moms go on to get a college degree. It’s a pretty vicious cycle, and it’s one best avoided completely.

Then there’s the emotional toll having a baby will take on you. You can pretty much say “peace out” to hanging out with your friends, going to the movies on a whim, or taking a spontaneous weekend road trip with your girls, because you’re going to need to hire a sitter–which usually costs money that most teen parents don’t have. It may be harder for you and your friends to relate to one another, because when they’re talking about who’s wearing what dress to prom, you’ll likely be stressing about onesies and Desitin.

And don’t even think that having a baby will keep your boyfriend around. In fact, stats show that he’ll probably bounce–8 out of 10 guys who get a teen girl preggers don’t marry her.

Additionally, you can bet having a kid–or even just announcing that you’re pregnant–will cause a big strain on your relationship with your parents. Your having a kid likely isn’t their fault–but it will inevitably become, at least in part, their problem. And that’s not really fair.

This won't be cute after five minutes. Seriously. | Source: Shutterstock

Oh, and dude, let’s not even get started on how gross diapers are. Do you really want to be responsible for something that poops up its own back? I sure don’t…yet!

Don’t believe us? Well, you can take a dry run at parenthood and see for yourself. You and your pals can test out DoSomething.org’s The Pregnancy Text for a day and see how having a rugrat of your own affects you. You’ll get text messages throughout the day that mimic taking care of a kid. It’s a wake up call for sure–and it’s only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the drama a real baby would bring you. What we love about this program is that it’s geared to girls and guys. So many teen pregnancy campaigns only target girls and we all know, boys make babies happen just as much as girls do. In addition to a hard taste of parenthood, participating will enter you to win a $2,000 scholarship to college. Teen pregnancy awareness and money for school, thanks DoSomething.org!

Having a kid when you’re still one yourself limits so many fun and exciting opportunities that you’d otherwise have. You have your whole life to get pregnant and start a family. It’s worth the wait to enjoy your youth while you can–and thankfully, a lot of teens are catching on, because the U.S. pregnancy rate is the lowest it’s been since 1940!

If you’re looking for someone who will always be happy to see you and drool on you (and that won’t talk back in its teenage years), your best bet now is to get a puppy–and use protection.

Have you ever thought about having a baby? Would you want to be a teen mom despite all the risks and hardships? Tell us in the comments!

What should you do when your partner doesn’t want to use a condom, but you do? Lena guides you through this touchy situation with reminders on why condoms are non-negotiable and how to keep safety your number one priority. Safe sex is the sexiest kind of sex. Take Lena’s tips on how to have safe sex, and you’ll both be happy you did!

Or is that what HE said?

Here’s a sexy little quiz: You and that super hot guy from History class are finally totally making out. Not just like, kissing, but really really into it. ( I told you this was sexy!) You both want to go all the way, but there’s no condom. When he says he’ll just pull out you should:

a) tell him you’d rather run to 7-11 and get condoms.

b) go for it! You love a man with a plan.

If you answered B, you’re in for a big surprise, girl. Although lots of girls and guys use the pull out method, it’s really not a good method of birth control—definitely not one we’d recommend.

I know, I know, you think I’m being judgy or something, but I’m not. I’m just looking out for your safety and happiness. Here are the facts:

• The pull out method doesn’t protect you from scary STDs like HIV and HPV.

• Most younger guys don’t pull out in time (hello, pregnancy scare . . . or just pregnancy!)

• Even if he does pull out in time, you can get pregnant from his pre-ejaculate, the liquid that comes out of him even before he orgasms. 

This goes beyond my opinion to cold hard science—using the pull out method isn’t a whole lot safer than having unprotected sex without pulling out. So, girls? Be smart. Speak up and keep a condom handy if you’re having sex. For more on making sexy time safe, check out our Complete Guide to Birth Control.

What kind of birth control do you or will you use? Tell us in the comments!
pull out method

It's called "Emergency" contraception for a reason!

Okay, so you had a late-night hook-up, and for whatever reason, your birth control method fell through. Your first reaction is to freak out (a lot), but your second reaction is probably to pick up the morning-after pill, Plan B One-Step, which helps prevent pregnancy.

But what if the morning-after pill required more than a slightly embarrassed trip to the drugstore? Well, the plan to make Plan B available without a prescription has been rejected. In some states, pharmacists can write prescriptions on-the spot, but generally this means that most girls will need a prescription from their doc.

What do you think about this super hot topic?

Me in college . . . on a happier day.

I met B during freshman year at college. He was 10 years older than I was, and at 28 he seemed so worldly—I couldn’t wait to hear his POV on even the stupidest stuff. And after a while, we started having sex, and B started saying I should have his baby.
abortion
Although I was 18 and legally an adult, I was still very much my parents’ kid. On school breaks I slept in my old bedroom filled with stuffed animals and had a curfew. My mother didn’t approve of B but she knew I was too old for her to say “don’t date that person.”

Not exactly my dream in life.

I told B his baby hopes were ridiculous. I wanted to be an author and a talk show host, not a teen mom. We kept having sex, but I made sure to take my birth control pills and we always used condoms. I never even considered that I could get pregnant.

Then I missed a couple periods and realized I’d gained way more than my Freshman Fifteen. I was knocked up, preggers, carrying B’s child. Mainly? I felt stupid, like a total loser, and was scared. When I told B, he revealed that he’d secretly slipped off the condom a few times. Since it was always pitch black when we made love, I never knew.

One of the scariest things I've ever seen.

B said that I should drop out of school and move in with him and his mom. When I told him that I was thinking of not having the baby, he shook me violently and refused to help me pay for an abortion; but still promised he’d come with me if I could get the cash myself. It was abusive, but I was oblivious. All I knew was that I didn’t want this baby, and I didn’t want to spend my first year of college pregnant.

I sold my textbooks for $350 , wore big clothes, and set the appointment during school break. But on that morning, the guy I expected to support me was a no-show.

My appointment was in 90 minutes and the clinic said patients had to have an adult with them. I had no choice but to wake up my mom—who I’d never even had the sex talk with—and confess the whole thing. She asked if I was sure this was the choice I wanted to make but didn’t scold me, yell, or try to change my mind. If she’d used the word “disappointed” I think I would’ve died on the spot.

Protesters outside the doctor’s office yelled “Murderer” and other nasty things as my mother helped me inside. I attended a mandatory counseling session with other girls who looked about my age, where we heard about our other options and what we could expect from the procedure. For a minute, I felt like running out of there, but then I thought about actually having a baby and decided to go through with the abortion.

In another room, the doctor made small talk while the anesthesiologist gave me medicine so I’d fall asleep. I counted backwards from ten and woke up no longer pregnant.

B called the next day to apologize and begged to see me. I wish that I could say I didn’t take him back but that’s another story.

I went back to school and resumed my studies, feeling relieved. Sometimes now, when I see someone the age my child would have been, I think of that day. Still, I wouldn’t change my decision and I don’t have any regrets. Mainly, I’m so grateful my mom was there for me at a time when I really needed her.

GL Wood

It might seem like Dev is brand new to the music scene, but the truth is you’ve probably heard about the super cool gURL even before she came out with songs like “Bass Down Low” or “In the Dark.” Dev’s been featured on tracks like Far East Movement‘s “Like a G6″ and Demi Lovato‘s  current single,”Who’s That Boy.”

But it wasn’t until Dev revealed she was pregnant out of wedlock that the entertainment world really started buzzing. We sat down with Dev to talk about this major reveal, get the scoop on her gURL-powered album, and hear all she had to say about being a gURL.

Keep reading…

gURL: Congrats on your pregnancy. How did you and your fiance feel when you first found out?
Dev: Thank you! We were actually really excited. We knew it was bound to happen, so we were both thrilled. It was kind of interesting timing because I was on tour with Usher. But yeah, we’re both really happy.

gURL: How did your parents feel about the pregnancy considering you’re pretty young?
Dev: They were really excited and really supportive. They know how much we’re in love and how much we support each other. He’s the best guy, I really lucked out. It’s kinda strange.

gURL: If you had gotten pregnant as a teen, would you have gotten in trouble?
Dev: Probably not. My parents are really like ride or die, which is kind of cool and really weird at the same time. They have my back for absolutely everything. I’m really fortunate to have them. And even though I’m only 22, I’ve been living on my own and have my own career and life, so it doesn’t really seem like I’m as young as I am.

gURL: What advice would you give teen gURLs who are actually trying and hoping to get pregnant?
Dev: Oh jeez. I hope they have a good job and lots of help. I mean, I really can’t give too much advice except, be as loving as possible. I think everybody’s different and the most important thing at the end of the day is really making sure they have a loving place to come home to.

gURL: We love that advice. What would you say is your favorite about being a gURL?
Dev: I love that we have the power to sort of do what we want; we can say whatever we want, dress however we want depending on the day or our mood. Anything goes. gURLs have this really cool feminine power to be a complete boss, which is really awesome. Boys like to think they’re bosses, but really, we’re the bosses.

gURL: Ok, and your least favorite?
Dev: Having my period. As TMI as that is, that’s like the whackest thing.

gURL: You dropped out of college as a freshman. Do you have any regrets?
Dev: I’ve been very fortunate to be a part of huge songs and play massive shows and meet amazing artists. But I do miss school. I do.  I was really good in school and I really enjoyed it, and I think it’s very important for kids to have education and to learn.  I do miss it and hopefully I’ll be able to go back one day and just for my own sort of thing. But no, I guess I can’t really say I regret anything.

gURL: We love that attitude. Okay, so let’s talk music. Your very first album, The Night the Sun Came Up, is coming out on November 1. What can we expect?
Dev: You can expect a lot of personal stories, even on the uptempo tracks. I tried to keep this album useful and as a reflection on my journey to becoming a musician. Hopefully a lot of people will see there’s more to me. The world thinks they know me because they’ve heard a song, but they really don’t. This is my chance to introduce myself.

gURL: You’ve collaborated with some pretty big names like Timbaland, Demi Lovato, David Guetta and even Far East Movement. Who else would you love to collaborate with?
Dev: I would love to collaborate with Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I think that, as a female, she just stands for a lot and is pretty badass and I think that we could make a really powerful song together. I would love that.

Watch Dev’s “In the Dark” video now…

Editor’s Note: After this interview went live, we got word that Dev’s album has now been pushed back to January 10, 2012.

WDYT, gURLs? Do you like Dev? Think she’s too young to be pregnant? Would you love to see a collaboration with her and Karen O? Tell us your thoughts below.