Gurl.com » Relationships http://www.gurl.com A teen site and community for teenage girls Thu, 23 May 2013 22:00:12 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 What It’s Really Like When You Hear From An Ex, In GIFshttp://www.gurl.com/2013/05/22/hearing-from-an-ex-gifs/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=hearing-from-an-ex-gifs http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/22/hearing-from-an-ex-gifs/#comments Wed, 22 May 2013 21:36:27 +0000 Caitlin Corsetti http://www.gurl.com/?p=111924 Read More]]> It seems like every time you’re in a good place in your life or you’re happy in a new relationship that your ex will pop up out of nowhere to contact you. First of all, why do they do this? And second, how do they do this? Have they bugged us to alert them when we’re doing great so they can come in and mess things up?

And the interactions never go as you think they will. Even if you won the breakup, unwanted ex-interactions can be a pain. You think you’ll be okay, but old feelings can come up.

Let’s go through what you think it will be like to talk to your ex compared to what it’s actually like.

You’re minding your own business.

All happy being single.

Or in a new, healthy relationship.

And then all of a sudden, your ex contacts you.

You think it’s not a big deal.

Because you’re happy and secure in your life.

You think he has no influence over you anymore.

But you’re wrong.

He asks if you want to meet up and talk.

You don’t want to be mean, so you agree. You can handle it.

You’re totally cool about it. But then you see him, and you’re like:

He says something along the lines of this:

And you’re thinking:

You start remembering all the crappy stuff about your relationship.

You tell yourself to snap out of it.

You make up a reason to leave.

And finally delete your ex’s number.

BYEEE!


 
Has your ex ever contacted you out of the blue? What happened? How did you react? Tell us in the comments!
 

Find out what it’s like to be in love with your BFF

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/22/hearing-from-an-ex-gifs/feed/ 2 What Being In Love With Your Best Friend Is Really Like, In GIFshttp://www.gurl.com/2013/05/22/being-in-love-with-your-best-friend-gifs/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=being-in-love-with-your-best-friend-gifs http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/22/being-in-love-with-your-best-friend-gifs/#comments Wed, 22 May 2013 20:43:48 +0000 Jessica Booth http://www.gurl.com/?p=111853 Read More]]> Crushing on a guy is hard enough as it is. Being in love with your best friend? That’s even harder. You know what I’m talking about: you’ve been friends with this dude since you guys were kids and you never saw him as anything more than a buddy… until you realized he’s actually gorgeous and you’re in love with him.

Being in love with your best friend gets super complicated because while you desperately want to take things to the next level in your relationship, you also don’t want to lose that person as a friend. And, as everyone knows, romantic relationships always have the potential to ruin friendships. So what is being in love with your BFF really like? I’ve explained it in GIFs… and I’m sure a lot of you will be able to relate:

 

Your BFF was always just your goofy BFF. 

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Until suddenly… you realize you might have a crush on him. 

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Scratch that. You’re in LOVE. 

dianna agron gif

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You keep it to yourself for a while. 

ashley benson gif

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Until you HAVE to tell someone. 

love gif

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Ugh. You’re so confused. 

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Should you tell him? Will it ruin your friendship? 

ryan gosling gif

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You guys DO flirt all the time. 

flirting gif

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Wait, but is it real flirting or is he just playing around? 

nicki minaj gif

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One day you try to tell him, but for whatever reason… you fail. 

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You can’t tell him. 

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When he flirts with other girls, it’s like… 

peter pan gif

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When a girl friend of yours tells you she has a crush on him, you’re like… 

the little mermaid gif

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When someone tells you guys you would make a cute couple, you try to play it off like… 

the lion king gif

Source; Tumblr

 

But on the inside, you’re all like… 

pretty little liars happy gif

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Sometimes you think he might like you back. 

confused gif

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And other times you know he only sees you as a friend. 

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Basically you’re just confused all the time. 

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Like, really, really confused. 

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HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Have you ever been in love with your best friend? Can you relate to this? Which of these GIFs is your favorite? What did I miss? Tell me in the comments!

 

What dating in high school is really like

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/22/being-in-love-with-your-best-friend-gifs/feed/ 5 Is It Ever Okay To Talk To Or Get Back Together With An Ex?http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/16/talk-to-get-back-together-with-an-ex/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=talk-to-get-back-together-with-an-ex http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/16/talk-to-get-back-together-with-an-ex/#comments Thu, 16 May 2013 20:06:42 +0000 Jessica Booth http://www.gurl.com/?p=111030 Read More]]> sad couple

Source: ShutterStock

Thinking about trying to talk to your ex? Ask anyone for their opinion on whether you should do it or not and I can almost guarantee that the majority of them will tell you, “NO WAY.” When it comes to exes, the general consensus is pretty much to stay far, far away. You shouldn’t try to get in touch with them and you definitely, defintiely should never try to get back together with them. After all, that person is an ex for a reason, right?

Right… sometimes. Believe it or not, there are plenty of instances where exes can, and maybe even should, get back together. This isn’t the kind of ex advice you usually see, which is exactly why I was so happy to read it on HowAboutWe.com. In this advice column, the author gets a question from a girl who says she wants to get in touch with her ex, but she’s not sure if she should because she doesn’t want to look pathetic. The author responds, “You are allowed to reach out to your ex. Of course you are. And it doesn’t make you look pathetic. PLEASE. It makes you look human.”

I love this advice. While I of course agree that there are certain times when you’re better off leaving your ex in the past (an example? If he’s physically or emotionally abused you), but there are also times where it’s okay to try to talk to your ex. There are times when it’s okay to consider giving your relationship another shot and getting back together with your ex. That doesn’t make you pathetic or weak or desperate. Maybe it just means that you guys were together at the wrong time. Maybe you two just needed some time apart to realize how to make your relationship work better.

Here’s how I know it’s okay to maybe, possibly, give your ex a second chance: because it happened to me! A few years ago, my current boyfriend and I broke up for about two months. We both cared about each other, but at the time, neither of us really felt ready to be in a serious relationship. We told each other that if we were meant to be together, we’d get back together.

couple fighting

Our breakup was NOT easy. | Source: ShutterStock

Still, our breakup definitely wasn’t easy. There were a lot of hurt feelings involved, along with a lot of angry, mean phrases being thrown around. Things got pretty bad and after a while of being apart, we stopped talking altogether. Because of my inability to hold a grudge, I let a month pass before I decided I wanted to get in touch with him to apologize for all of the crappy things that had happened between us. I texted him an apology and to my surprise, we started talking. After a few weeks, we had officially started dating again.

Getting back together my ex was really difficult for me. Before that happened, I had always been the girl to insist that my BFF’s never talk to their ex. I had refused to give ex-boyfriend’s a second chance because I thought doing so made me look very weak and pathetic. In fact, for the first month or so of us being back together, I hid it from everyone I knew, including my family and best friends. I felt embarrassed and ashamed and I knew that they wouldn’t approve – not because my boyfriend was a bad guy, but because they just didn’t think exes were worth a second glance.

Obviously, my boyfriend and I are still together and our relationship is so, so, so much better than it was before we broke up. It’s basically an entire new relationship. And I definitely don’t feel embarrassed about what happened anymore. Through the whole situation, I realized that my boyfriend and I just needed some time apart to figure out exactly what each of us wanted. Sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with that.

sad girl

Think about it before you go through with it. | Source: ShutterStock

All of that being said, there are a few things you need to keep in mind before you try reconciling with an ex. First of all, you need to consider why you guys broke up in the first place. Do you really think you two could work those issues out? If you think you would continue to fight over the same old thing, then there’s no point in getting back together.

Secondly, you need to figure out if you really want to be with your ex again or if you’re just feeling lonely and miserable and you want someone there. Sometimes when we’re heartbroken, we try to go back to what we already know – it’s a comfort thing. Make sure you genuinely miss your ex as a person before you get in touch with him or her.

Third of all, be aware that your ex might not be too thrilled with you trying to get in touch. You need to realize that there’s a huge possibility of your ex totally rejecting you. But, in my opinion, if you feel strongly about this, it’s worth a shot. If you never try, you’ll never know, right? Also keep in mind that your friends and family might not be happy about your decision simply because they saw how upset this person made you. But if you feel that this is really right, you need to make that decision for yourself.

So should you always give an ex a second chance? Of course not. My point is, it’s okay to do it sometimes – and it’s also okay to feel like you want to do it, even if you don’t go through with it. Sometimes it’s cool to break relationship rules.

Do you think it’s okay to sometimes give an ex a second chance? Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? How did it go? Tell us in the comments.

 

Why holding a grudge is never worth it

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/16/talk-to-get-back-together-with-an-ex/feed/ 0 What Is Emotional Cheating? Could You Be A Cheater Without Even Realizing It?http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/15/what-is-emotional-cheating-could-you-be-a-cheater-without-even-realizing-it/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-is-emotional-cheating-could-you-be-a-cheater-without-even-realizing-it http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/15/what-is-emotional-cheating-could-you-be-a-cheater-without-even-realizing-it/#comments Wed, 15 May 2013 18:49:04 +0000 Jessica Sager http://www.gurl.com/?p=110804 Read More]]> Could you be cheating on your boyfriend and not even know it? Of course, if you made out with another dude behind your boyfriend’s back you’d know that. But you may be cheating and not realizing it if it’s emotional cheating. And emotional cheating is more common than you may think–and you may be doing it without even realizing it. Here’s how to tell if you’re having an emotional affair . . . and whether it may lead to all-out physically cheating on your boyfriend!


Do You Confide In Other Guys About Your Relationship?

Venting to your best guy friend once in a while isn't necessarily bad. But are you venting to other guys in hopes one of them will seize the opportunity to treat you better? If so, you need to examine exactly you're not getting from your current relationship--and you need to let your guy know what it is you want. He's not a mind reader, and leading someone else on ultimately won't make anyone feel better.

Source: ShutterStock

Do You Act Like You're Single?

A big sign of emotional cheating is conveniently forgetting you have a boyfriend and acting available. The less you talk about your significant other, the more available people will think you are--so if you keep the world in the dark about him, they may assume you're single . . . And it may be because you subconsciously wish that you were!

Source: ShutterStock

Do You Think About Other Guys When You're With Your Guy?

It's normal to have fleeting crushes or check guys out, even when you have a boyfriend. You're human! But if you find yourself constantly thinking of one other dude in particular, even when you're with your boyfriend, you may be having an emotional affair with the guy--especially if he's the same one you vent to.

Source: ShutterStock

Do You Talk About Sex With Other Dudes?

It's normal to talk about your sex life with your BFFs, but are you giving intimate details to someone you could actually see yourself with? You may be planting seeds that the other guy wants to water . . . and you may well want to entice him into making a move.

Source: ShutterStock

Do You Feel The Need To Hide Your Phone Or FB From Your Guy?

First things first: If either one of you feels the need to look through the other's phone, your relationship is probably no good to begin with. But if you're tempted to deliberately go out of your way to hide your texts because they're getting either too revealing or too intimate with another guy, that's not a good sign--especially if you're lying about it. And chances are if you're hiding an emotional affair from your dude, he may actually assume you're having a physical relationship behind his back too. Yikes!

Source: ShutterStock

Do You Lie Or Have Double Standards About Your Relationship Rules?

Do you have rules that, at least in your own mind, certain things are okay for you but not for him? (For example, texting someone of the opposite sex goodnight or good morning, going out with them solo.) If so, that's a big sign of emotional cheating: If whatever you're doing would make you upset if your partner did it to you, chances are that classifies as at least an emotional affair. And if you're lying about anything you're up to? That's a huge red flag, whether it's for your own emotional affair or the fact that your partner is way too controlling--neither of which are good situations.

Source: ShutterStock

Have you ever been accused of emotional cheating? Have you ever been with a guy who had an emotional affair behind your back? Have you ever had an emotional affair that led to all-out cheating? How did you deal? Tell us in the comments!

Will lying to your boyfriend improve your relationship?!

And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/15/what-is-emotional-cheating-could-you-be-a-cheater-without-even-realizing-it/feed/ 0 10 Quotes About Long Distance Relationshipshttp://www.gurl.com/2013/05/14/long-distance-relationship-quotes/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=long-distance-relationship-quotes http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/14/long-distance-relationship-quotes/#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 18:00:13 +0000 Ashley Reese http://www.gurl.com/?p=110519 Read More]]> Long distance relationships can be full of angst, confusion and worry. You’re left wondering if it will last, if they’ll find somebody new and if you’ll ever survive the time apart in one piece. Your friends and family give you pitying looks, or they’ll bluntly call you delusional and tell you that it won’t last. And yet, there’s always a glimmer of hope! There’s anticipation, marking down the days until you two reunite and late night video chats to fill the time.

So yeah, long distance relationships are tough, but they’re full of ups and downs just like any other relationship.  If you’re in a long distance relationship, these quotes will feel like a punch to the gut and a flutter in the heart. Hey, that’s love in a nutshell, isn’t it?

 

Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

Source: Source: ShutterStock

Long Distance Relationship Quotes

Source: ShutterStock

Long Distance Relationship Quotes

Source: ShutterStock

Long Distance Relationship Quotes

Source: ShutterStock

Long Distance Relationship Quotes

Source: ShutterStock

Long Distance Relationship Quotes

Source: ShutterStock
Which quote was your favorite? Which one can you relate to most? Do you feel like crawling into a ball and dying yet? Tell us in the comments!
 
]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/14/long-distance-relationship-quotes/feed/ 0 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Exhttp://www.gurl.com/2013/05/13/things-you-should-never-say-to-your-ex/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=things-you-should-never-say-to-your-ex http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/13/things-you-should-never-say-to-your-ex/#comments Mon, 13 May 2013 21:55:32 +0000 Jessica Booth http://www.gurl.com/?p=110496 Read More]]> Having any kind of relationship with an ex is complicated – really, really complicated. There are so many emotions swirling around that even just talking to your ex can quickly turn into a messy, dramatic situation. To avoid that, there are some things you should never say to your ex, like ever.

Whether you want your ex back or never want to see him again, it can be hard to bite your tongue to keep yourself from saying the things you really want to say. But, for your sake, try to keep the word vomit in check. Words can’t be taken back and you don’t want to come off as immature, angry or desperate when I know you’re not any of those things. To help you out, here is a little guide to 10 things you should never say to your ex. Create imaginary dialogue in your head, say them to your friends, write them out… just don’t say this stuff to your ex. Please.

 

“I wish I never met you.”

break up gif

Source: Tumblr.com

Don’t lie to try to make your ex feel bad. Let’s face it: regardless of what happened between you two (unless it’s something seriously awful), you obviously once had a good time together. There was a time when you two were really into each other. And whatever happened to make you guys end things, at least you learned something, right?

 

“Can we still be friends?”

breakup gif

Source: Tumblr.com

This is the last phrase you want to hear when you’ve just been dumped. You might as well say, “I’m just trying to be nice.” Or maybe, “You’re okay, but you’re not good enough to be my boyfriend anymore.” Just don’t, okay?

 

“I’ll do ANYTHING to get you back.”

how i met your mother gif

Source: Tumblr.com

This is, in a word, pathetic. It’s not romantic, even though Hollywood tries to make it seem like it is. Sometimes relationships are over and there is nothing you can do. Give him space!

 

“Do you mind if I date your friend?”

adam levine gif

Source: Tumblr.com

Um, yes, he minds. Do you really even have to ask? Stay away from an ex’s friends, ladies. Trust me.

 

“I’m going to kill myself if you don’t give me another chance.”

sad gif

Source: Tumblr.com

Ouch. If you’re kidding around or just trying to be dramatic – not cool at all. This is serious stuff here. Don’t pull a guilt trip thing. And if you’re being serious? Talk to someone who isn’t your ex to get help – no joke at all.

 

“Can we still hook up?”

greys anatomy gif

Source: Tumblr.com

Maybe he just broke up with you and you’re desperately trying to hold onto something.  Maybe you’re hoping it will lead to getting back together. Maybe you just dumped him, but you still want him around in some way. Whatever the reason is, DON’T be friends with benefits with your ex. Seriously. That’s just asking for trouble.

 

“I never really liked you, anyway/you were a terrible kisser/you have a small penis.”

breakup gif

Source: Tumblr.com

Not nice! Also, lies. This only makes you look silly. Why would you date someone if you never really liked them anyway? Or if you thought they were a bad kisser/had a small penis? These are cheap shots. You’re better than that.

 

“Why wasn’t I good enough?” 

friends gif

Source; Tumblr.com

Oooooh, my least favorite question in the world. Look, I know you want answers. I know you want closure. But this isn’t the way to get that. This question comes off as needy, pathetic and desperate. And annoying. Just because you two broke up, doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. Let him see how confident you are no matter what he does. That’s much better than making him feel sorry for you.

 

“I hope you die.”

confused gif

Source: Tumblr.com

This is… not nice. No, seriously, don’t say this. First of all, I know you don’t really mean it. Second of all, all joking aside, what if something bad really did happen to him? You’d feel awful. Leave this immature comment out of it.

 

“None of my friends ever liked you.”

justin bieber gif

Source: Tumblr.com

Don’t drag your friends into this! Throwing insults at your ex isn’t going to make him think about what he just lost… it’s going to make him think you’re immature.

 

Have you ever said any of these things to an ex? Has an ex ever said them to you? What did I miss? Do you agree or disagree? Tell me in the comments.

 

10 things you should never say to your crush

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]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/13/things-you-should-never-say-to-your-ex/feed/ 0 From The Boards: My Friend’s Boyfriend Kissed Me! What Do I Do?http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/12/friends-boyfriend-kissed-me/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=friends-boyfriend-kissed-me http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/12/friends-boyfriend-kissed-me/#comments Sun, 12 May 2013 19:00:43 +0000 Caitlin Corsetti http://www.gurl.com/?p=109723 Read More]]> It always sucks when someone’s cheating in a relationship. But what if you’re involved because your friend’s boyfriend kissed you? This week on the message boards, our girls are discussing what to do if your friend’s boyfriend hits on you or makes a move.

Let’s see what you had to say!

justliveyourlife-xx said:

Tell her what happened and tell her what he’s like. I bet she’ll really appreciate that you did.

happystarzz said:

I would tell my friend what her boyfriend did if that happened to me. If she doesn’t believe you, she’s not a true friend.

HorseyGal14 said:

Uh oh! This is a bit of a difficult one. Because 1) Your friend might not believe you and break up with you. Or 2) when she finds out she might ask you why you didn’t tell her. 3) Her boyfriend might turn evil on you. He is obviously a really horrible boyfriend! If he kisses you again or flirts slap some sense into him! Maybe you should tell you friend, quietly, by herself and calming and tell her straight.

Or you could wait for her to realize and keep it to yourself, but then your have to watch her being played with this jerk. If the relationship is serious and she is totally in-love with him, then she might take your news badly. However, if you are really good friends and she knows her bf is a bit of a two timer and they have a weak relationship she will probably believe you. Maybe try to record an incident with him on your phone for evidence. Whenever you are alone with him try to secretly record it on your phone on voice recorder or something, then you can catch him out and your friend will know and he can’t deny it.

Alrighty, this is some real stuff. Let’s pause for a minute and pretend that her boyfriend kissed someone else instead of you. You would tell her, right? I hope you would. I would want to know ASAP if my boyfriend cheated on me. And I’d much rather hear it from my friend instead of someone random.

Now, let’s pick back up. The fact that he even flirted with his girlfriend’s friend isn’t okay. The fact that he made a move is even worse. You have to tell her as soon as humanly possible. Yes, she’s going to be upset. Yes, she might even get mad at you because she doesn’t want it to be true. She doesn’t want to think that her boyfriend kissed her friend or anyone else. She might even blame you for it.

If you don’t tell her, there are several things that could happen. He’ll tell her, and you’ve betrayed her by not saying anything. Someone else will tell her, and you’ve still betrayed her by not saying anything. He’ll keep making moves on you and other girls and will hurt your friend regardless. She needs to know now so she knows what a skeeze her boyfriend is.

Has your friend’s boyfriend ever made a move on you? What happened? Did you tell her? Tell us in the comments!

Need advice on a different topic? Do you have a story you want to share? Post your own thoughts and questions in our boards and start chatting with other girls.

Do you have sexist guys in class? Here’s how to deal!

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/12/friends-boyfriend-kissed-me/feed/ 0 My Boyfriend And I Are In An Argument, How Do I Deal?http://www.gurl.com/videos/sex-advice/fight-with-boyfriend/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=fight-with-boyfriend http://www.gurl.com/videos/sex-advice/fight-with-boyfriend/#comments Fri, 10 May 2013 21:00:47 +0000 Caitlin Corsetti http://www.gurl.com/?post_type=video&p=110054/ Read More]]>
Fighting is a part of any relationship, but that doesn’t mean fights are fun. No one likes to argue with the person they’re dating! Sometimes they can be about really stupid things and sometimes they can be really serious. Dealing with an argument can be tough no matter how often you fight. This week on Sexy Times, Caitlin has advice on how to deal with and resolve an argument with your boo!
 
Have you ever fought with your boyfriend? How did you handle it? Tell us in the comments!
 

How do you reject a guy that really likes you?

Make sure you subscribe to us on YouTube!

]]> http://www.gurl.com/videos/sex-advice/fight-with-boyfriend/feed/ 0 What Dating Is Like In High School In GIFshttp://www.gurl.com/2013/04/25/relationships-in-high-school-gifs/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=relationships-in-high-school-gifs http://www.gurl.com/2013/04/25/relationships-in-high-school-gifs/#comments Thu, 25 Apr 2013 22:42:15 +0000 Caitlin Corsetti http://www.gurl.com/?p=108414 Read More]]> Dating in high school is the best and also the worst, especially if you go to school with whoever you’re dating. You already have a built in 8-hour period of time that you get to spend with them!

But things can be awkward like if you don’t have your license and your parents have to drive you on dates. Or if you’re in an adorable couple and your friends aren’t.

Let’s take a look at what dating is like in high school:

You get to hang out, like all the time.

And have fun study sessions.

You always eat lunch together.

You get weirdly jealous of the least threatening people.

You feel like this when you’re in your boo’s room and their parents are downstairs.

People always say this about you making out in the halls.

Someone always says “I love you” too soon.

Breaking up is the worst if you have a class together.

But you are wildly optimistic about true love.

And you’re cuter than every other couple in school.


 
What is dating like for you in high school? Do you have any awkward moments? Are you the only couple in your friend group? How do you feel about other couples? Tell us in the comments!
 

Does it mean you’re closer if you’re Facebook official?

Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter!

]]> http://www.gurl.com/2013/04/25/relationships-in-high-school-gifs/feed/ 3 Want Sex When He Doesn’t? How To Deal With Different Sex Drives!http://www.gurl.com/2013/04/25/want-sex-sex-drive/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=want-sex-sex-drive http://www.gurl.com/2013/04/25/want-sex-sex-drive/#comments Thu, 25 Apr 2013 19:01:20 +0000 Jessica Sager http://www.gurl.com/?p=108367 Read More]]> If you want sex and your partner doesn’t–or vice versa–it can result in a big mess of things. Your egos can get bruised because one of you feels rejected and the other feels guilty. Plus, it means whichever one of you did want sex is unfulfilled. If and when your sex drive doesn’t match up with your partner’s, it can even lead to one or more of you feeling unloved. No one deserves that!

If your relationship is otherwise solid but your sex drive doesn’t always jibe with your boyfriend’s, it doesn’t mean your romance is doomed. Here’s how to deal!


Don't Take Anything Personally

Sometimes if a guy wants sex and you don't, or if you want sex and he doesn't, it can hurt. He may feel like you don't dig him, you may feel undesirable--but most of the time, it's neither of those things. Sometimes you or he just can't get into it, and a lot of things are play: If one of you are stressed or in a bad mood about something else, it can totally affect your libido. Don't let a difference in sex drive destroy either of your self-esteem!

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Ask Yourself Why It's Not Working

If it's just this one time, ask yourself why you're not down for it. Are you just not in the mood? Need more foreplay? Think your period's coming soon and are freaking out over it? Do you just want to turn the lights off? Those are all fair and he'll understand (even if period talk freaks him out).

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Maintain A Sense Of Humor!

Communication is super important to anyone's sex life, but it can seem so awkward and heavy to talk about. Keeping it light will open you both up a bit more to talk things over and find a compromise.

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Get Each Other Worked Up

Sometimes if a guy wants sex and you don't want sex, it's because he's not working enough at ramping you up--and vice versa. Racing to the finish line may only work for one of you. The other should be a little more patient (and make out and do a bit more other stuff to pass the time and make it easier)!

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Try A Change Of Scene

Sometimes when one of you doesn't want sex, it's because stuff has become a little too routine. Switch things up--even if it just means leaving the lights on or something. Novelty can make things exciting for both of you, so your sex drives are more likely to match up.

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Do you have issues with your sex drive not matching up with your partner’s? How do you deal when you want sex and your partner doesn’t? What do you do when your partner wants sex and you don’t? Tell us in the comments!

Is your guy’s sex drive stronger than yours? This may be why!

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