What should you do if you like your brother’s friend?

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Surprisingly I’m not a loser.

You know that movie Never Been Kissed? It’s the one where Drew Berrymore is a journalist who has never been in a relationship and is assigned to go undercover as a high school student to report on the lives of teens living that tough late ’90s suburbia life.

Well, aside from all of that undercover junk, I’ve realized that the older I get, the more I start to relate to Drew’s character…but a little less thirsty.

So I’m going to tell it to you straight: I’m 22-years old and I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never slept with anyone. I’ve never been on a date.

And as much as I would love to have experienced all of those things, let me let you in on a little secret: It’s not the end of the world. Seriously. It’s not.

If you feel like you’re some big ol’ loser because you’ve never been kissed, or never performed oral sex in a school bathroom stall, or haven’t reached any of those touching romantic milestones yet, know this: Milestones are stupid and there is always time. Your love life isn’t a race and you’re probably awesome.

Your sexual prowess (or lack thereof) has no bearing on how desirable you are. This is something that I’ve had to learn. It wasn’t until college that I was asked out by a few guys…all of whom I turned down. It wasn’t until college that I had mutual romantic interests, but time, place and that fickle little thing called life got in the way. Things happen, moments are lost and sometimes neither things nor moments are going on and you can feel pretty dejected. Believe me, I’ve been there. I know how it feels to feel left out when your friends share their crazy hookup experiences right in front of you. I know how it feels to wonder why everyone manages to hookup or date while you’re left in the dust, even when you put yourself out there. It can really suck. It just doesn’t make sense, right?

You’re right, it doesn’t make sense. Life doesn’t make sense, and love is particularly senseless.

Yeah, it’s a little funny (ok, weird) that there are a ton of 15-year-old girls out there who are more sexually experienced than I am–and more power to them for experiencing all the awesome things that romance has to offer. But it’s really okay not to have experienced those things yet. You’re really not as alone as you think you are, honestly.

I’m very aware of the possibility that I come across as a massive loser confessing all of this, but I honestly don’t care. Sure, I’d like for my current status to change, but I’m really not agonizing over it; and any of you who are in the same situation shouldn’t worry about it either!

Of course I have moments when I feel like I’m going to be forever alone, and I’m admittedly self-conscious about how a future boyfriend or hookup would react to this information, but those moments are pretty rare and fleeting. I know that something is going to come along, so what’s the point of feeling sorry for myself? I’m funny, I’m smart and I have an awesome sense of style. I have amazing friends and I’m a pretty happy person.

Look, I may not have been kissed yet, but my awesomeness isn’t determined by whether or not I’ve pulled tongue with some dude when I was in 9th grade. And neither is yours.

And if you’ve never been kissed and don’t feel at all comforted by my words of wisdom, at least you know that somewhere out there there is a chick who managed to graduate college without getting laid. There’s still hope for you.

Have you never been kissed? Do you feel like left out when it comes to love? Tell us in the comments!

Am I Going To End Up Alone Forever?

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Before you start daydreaming about saucy late night texts and walks on the beach, you’ll need a game plan. We’ve discussed summer flings before, but here’s a guide for you lazy ladies who really want the most simplistic steps to finding and maintaining some summer lovin’.

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Claim To Be Every Missed Connection On Craigslist

You know the Missed Connections section of Craigslist? Where some guy or gal is looking for that person they caught eyes with on the train, at the mall, at a concert, etc. You can get a love match super quickly when you respond to the posts and claim that it was, in fact, you who shared that special glimpse. Sure, they'll realize that it isn't you when you show up for that date, but maybe starting off a relationship with a vicious lie might not be so bad.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Like All Of their Facebook Photos

Become mutual friend with your crush on Facebook, then proceed to like every single one of their photos. Yep, even the ones from freshman year. That way, he'll know that you're interested.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Become Very Observant

A little stalking—I mean, a little practice becoming more observant is super informative. You can find out so much about your summer crush this way. Plus, knowing their schedule and always happening to be in the same places as them is totally cool and not creepy.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Take On An Alter-Ego

Deception is the key to happiness. Pretend to be somebody way cooler than your actual self. You can be a French girl who is visiting on an exchange program who happens to have a really terrible French accent. It'll be super alluring.

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Eliminate The Competition

It's a jungle out there, ladies. Make sure you get rid of your competition. Nothing too crazy or violent, of course...just implement a few things to slow them down, like surrounding their house in barbed wire. Keep it simple!

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Serenade Your Way To Their Pants

Stand outside the window of your summer crush and sing to them. If blasting Peter Gabriel worked in Say Anything, then your tone deaf rendition of TSwift's "You Belong "With Me" will work wonders.

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Show Off Your Selfies

Send him/her every single one of your selfies. Yep, I'm talking the bathroom shot, the one with you and your breakfast and the artistic shot of you looking thoughtfully into the distance. Make sure that you send extra duck-lip photos, because those are super cute and not tacky at all.

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Get Serious And Discuss Marriage

You need to make sure that you and your summer fling are on the same page. And what better way to figure that out than to talk about your future wedding. Don't leave out any details, including the color scheme of the napkins.

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Leave Your Number In Public Places

Since you're really desperate for some summer loving, leave your number everywhere. Leave it in a public restroom and mailboxes. If you can afford it, try renting one of those airplanes that writes messages in the sky. You're guaranteed to get a sweet hook up.

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Be Yourself And See What Happens

Summer flings are fun, especially if they happen spontaneously. Instead of desperately searching for some summer romance, just go with the flow and see what happens. It'll be way more rewarding and less of a headache.

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What is the key to a great summer fling? Do you plan on finding a summer hook up? Tell us in the comments!

10 Things I Wish I Knew Before My First Summer Fling
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So, what are some things that suck about being in a relationship? I’ll tell you. The next time you’re complaining about how single you are, think about these things and keep in mind that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is not the solution to everything.

You don’t get any first kisses or super sweet first date moments. Because you guys had those already. 

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Going out with your single friends can be awkward, especially when they’re all flirting with someone and you’re just standing there, pretending to text your BF. 

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Little fights happen a lot more often. And usually they make NO sense but go on for hours. 

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Dates can get boring… if you even go on dates. When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it’s super easy to get into a movies/cuddle routine. 

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You can’t be totally selfish. You’re in a relationship! You can’t only think about yourself. You have someone else’s feelings to worry about also. 

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Jealousy happens and it sucks. It sucks. 

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You miss out on friend time. Once you have a boyfriend, it’s just a fact that you don’t have as much time for your friends anymore. FOMO, anyone?

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You spend more money. You have to buy someone elaborate gifts for holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. Oof. 

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No flirting allowed… even harmless flirting makes you feel a little guilty. 

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You suddenly have to deal with someone else’s family. You know those annoying family obligations you have? Now you have to go to his or hers also. Womp womp. 

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Which of these things do you agree with the most? What other things suck about being in a relationship? Are you single or in a relationship? Tell me in the comments!

10 Things That Suck About Being Single

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That said, there are some things that completely suck about being single. It’s not even that I want a relationship, but there are things that I miss about having one.

So here are 10 sucky things about being single:

When you’re single for a while, you forget how to interact like a human being.

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Whenever your family, they talk about how you need a boyfriend and you’re like:

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Sleeping alone is nice, but it gets really lonely sometimes.

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All of your friends are in relationships so hanging out with them feels like this:

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Seeing your ex with his new girlfriend makes you feel horrible inside.

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When you’re single, you become an instant creep-magnet.

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You have no one to have consistent sex with, which makes you feel insane.

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Everyone feels bad for you because you’re single.

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When you need a date for something, you don’t have an instant option.

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And basically this is all you want:

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Check out the 10 worst things about relationships

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And the interactions never go as you think they will. Even if you won the breakup, unwanted ex-interactions can be a pain. You think you’ll be okay, but old feelings can come up.

Let’s go through what you think it will be like to talk to your ex compared to what it’s actually like.

You’re minding your own business.

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All happy being single.

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Or in a new, healthy relationship.

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And then all of a sudden, your ex contacts you.

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You think it’s not a big deal.

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Because you’re happy and secure in your life.

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You think he has no influence over you anymore.

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But you’re wrong.

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He asks if you want to meet up and talk.

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You don’t want to be mean, so you agree. You can handle it.

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You’re totally cool about it. But then you see him, and you’re like:

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He says something along the lines of this:

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And you’re thinking:

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You start remembering all the crappy stuff about your relationship.

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You tell yourself to snap out of it.

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You make up a reason to leave.

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And finally delete your ex’s number.

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BYEEE!

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Find out what it’s like to be in love with your BFF

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Being in love with your best friend gets super complicated because while you desperately want to take things to the next level in your relationship, you also don’t want to lose that person as a friend. And, as everyone knows, romantic relationships always have the potential to ruin friendships. So what is being in love with your BFF really like? I’ve explained it in GIFs… and I’m sure a lot of you will be able to relate:

Your BFF was always just your goofy BFF. 

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Until suddenly… you realize you might have a crush on him. 

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Scratch that. You’re in LOVE. 

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You keep it to yourself for a while. 

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Until you HAVE to tell someone. 

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Ugh. You’re so confused. 

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Should you tell him? Will it ruin your friendship? 

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You guys DO flirt all the time. 

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Wait, but is it real flirting or is he just playing around? 

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One day you try to tell him, but for whatever reason… you fail. 

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You can’t tell him. 

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When he flirts with other girls, it’s like… 

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When a girl friend of yours tells you she has a crush on him, you’re like… 

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When someone tells you guys you would make a cute couple, you try to play it off like… 

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But on the inside, you’re all like… 

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Sometimes you think he might like you back. 

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And other times you know he only sees you as a friend. 

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Basically you’re just confused all the time. 

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Like, really, really confused. 

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HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Have you ever been in love with your best friend? Can you relate to this? Which of these GIFs is your favorite? What did I miss? Tell me in the comments!

What dating in high school is really like

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Source: ShutterStock

Thinking about trying to talk to your ex? Ask anyone for their opinion on whether you should do it or not and I can almost guarantee that the majority of them will tell you, “NO WAY.” When it comes to exes, the general consensus is pretty much to stay far, far away. You shouldn’t try to get in touch with them and you definitely, defintiely should never try to get back together with them. After all, that person is an ex for a reason, right?

Right… sometimes. Believe it or not, there are plenty of instances where exes can, and maybe even should, get back together. This isn’t the kind of ex advice you usually see, which is exactly why I was so happy to read it on HowAboutWe.com. In this advice column, the author gets a question from a girl who says she wants to get in touch with her ex, but she’s not sure if she should because she doesn’t want to look pathetic. The author responds, “You are allowed to reach out to your ex. Of course you are. And it doesn’t make you look pathetic. PLEASE. It makes you look human.”

I love this advice. While I of course agree that there are certain times when you’re better off leaving your ex in the past (an example? If he’s physically or emotionally abused you), but there are also times where it’s okay to try to talk to your ex. There are times when it’s okay to consider giving your relationship another shot and getting back together with your ex. That doesn’t make you pathetic or weak or desperate. Maybe it just means that you guys were together at the wrong time. Maybe you two just needed some time apart to realize how to make your relationship work better.

Here’s how I know it’s okay to maybe, possibly, give your ex a second chance: because it happened to me! A few years ago, my current boyfriend and I broke up for about two months. We both cared about each other, but at the time, neither of us really felt ready to be in a serious relationship. We told each other that if we were meant to be together, we’d get back together.

Our breakup was NOT easy. | Source: ShutterStock

Still, our breakup definitely wasn’t easy. There were a lot of hurt feelings involved, along with a lot of angry, mean phrases being thrown around. Things got pretty bad and after a while of being apart, we stopped talking altogether. Because of my inability to hold a grudge, I let a month pass before I decided I wanted to get in touch with him to apologize for all of the crappy things that had happened between us. I texted him an apology and to my surprise, we started talking. After a few weeks, we had officially started dating again.

Getting back together my ex was really difficult for me. Before that happened, I had always been the girl to insist that my BFF’s never talk to their ex. I had refused to give ex-boyfriend’s a second chance because I thought doing so made me look very weak and pathetic. In fact, for the first month or so of us being back together, I hid it from everyone I knew, including my family and best friends. I felt embarrassed and ashamed and I knew that they wouldn’t approve – not because my boyfriend was a bad guy, but because they just didn’t think exes were worth a second glance.

Obviously, my boyfriend and I are still together and our relationship is so, so, so much better than it was before we broke up. It’s basically an entire new relationship. And I definitely don’t feel embarrassed about what happened anymore. Through the whole situation, I realized that my boyfriend and I just needed some time apart to figure out exactly what each of us wanted. Sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Think about it before you go through with it. | Source: ShutterStock

All of that being said, there are a few things you need to keep in mind before you try reconciling with an ex. First of all, you need to consider why you guys broke up in the first place. Do you really think you two could work those issues out? If you think you would continue to fight over the same old thing, then there’s no point in getting back together.

Secondly, you need to figure out if you really want to be with your ex again or if you’re just feeling lonely and miserable and you want someone there. Sometimes when we’re heartbroken, we try to go back to what we already know – it’s a comfort thing. Make sure you genuinely miss your ex as a person before you get in touch with him or her.

Third of all, be aware that your ex might not be too thrilled with you trying to get in touch. You need to realize that there’s a huge possibility of your ex totally rejecting you. But, in my opinion, if you feel strongly about this, it’s worth a shot. If you never try, you’ll never know, right? Also keep in mind that your friends and family might not be happy about your decision simply because they saw how upset this person made you. But if you feel that this is really right, you need to make that decision for yourself.

So should you always give an ex a second chance? Of course not. My point is, it’s okay to do it sometimes – and it’s also okay to feel like you want to do it, even if you don’t go through with it. Sometimes it’s cool to break relationship rules.

Do you think it’s okay to sometimes give an ex a second chance? Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? How did it go? Tell us in the comments.

Why holding a grudge is never worth it

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Do You Confide In Other Guys About Your Relationship?

Venting to your best guy friend once in a while isn't necessarily bad. But are you venting to other guys in hopes one of them will seize the opportunity to treat you better? If so, you need to examine exactly you're not getting from your current relationship--and you need to let your guy know what it is you want. He's not a mind reader, and leading someone else on ultimately won't make anyone feel better.

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Do You Act Like You're Single?

A big sign of emotional cheating is conveniently forgetting you have a boyfriend and acting available. The less you talk about your significant other, the more available people will think you are--so if you keep the world in the dark about him, they may assume you're single . . . And it may be because you subconsciously wish that you were!

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Do You Think About Other Guys When You're With Your Guy?

It's normal to have fleeting crushes or check guys out, even when you have a boyfriend. You're human! But if you find yourself constantly thinking of one other dude in particular, even when you're with your boyfriend, you may be having an emotional affair with the guy--especially if he's the same one you vent to.

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Do You Talk About Sex With Other Dudes?

It's normal to talk about your sex life with your BFFs, but are you giving intimate details to someone you could actually see yourself with? You may be planting seeds that the other guy wants to water . . . and you may well want to entice him into making a move.

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Do You Feel The Need To Hide Your Phone Or FB From Your Guy?

First things first: If either one of you feels the need to look through the other's phone, your relationship is probably no good to begin with. But if you're tempted to deliberately go out of your way to hide your texts because they're getting either too revealing or too intimate with another guy, that's not a good sign--especially if you're lying about it. And chances are if you're hiding an emotional affair from your dude, he may actually assume you're having a physical relationship behind his back too. Yikes!

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Do You Lie Or Have Double Standards About Your Relationship Rules?

Do you have rules that, at least in your own mind, certain things are okay for you but not for him? (For example, texting someone of the opposite sex goodnight or good morning, going out with them solo.) If so, that's a big sign of emotional cheating: If whatever you're doing would make you upset if your partner did it to you, chances are that classifies as at least an emotional affair. And if you're lying about anything you're up to? That's a huge red flag, whether it's for your own emotional affair or the fact that your partner is way too controlling--neither of which are good situations.

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Have you ever been accused of emotional cheating? Have you ever been with a guy who had an emotional affair behind your back? Have you ever had an emotional affair that led to all-out cheating? How did you deal? Tell us in the comments!

Will lying to your boyfriend improve your relationship?!

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So yeah, long distance relationships are tough, but they’re full of ups and downs just like any other relationship.  If you’re in a long distance relationship, these quotes will feel like a punch to the gut and a flutter in the heart. Hey, that’s love in a nutshell, isn’t it?

 

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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Long Distance Relationship Quotes

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