Even kittens were smooching before me! | Source: Shutterstock

Fine, I thought, I’ll get my first kiss in middle school. Um wrong. Even though I had a boyfriend we were so awkward and nervous around each other that we barely held hands. The thought of kissing sent him into an absolute panic. It was about this time that complete, white-knuckled anxiety over not being kissed began to set in. Every single one of my friends had successfully arrived in Make Out Town and here I was, stuck in Sweaty Hand City.

And I would remain stuck there for a long, long, long time. Five more agonizing years, to be exact. Yes, I didn’t kiss anyone until I was almost 18.

This was my dream | Source: Shutterstock

Then, FINALLY, on Junior Prom night, it happened: my first kiss!! And it was . . . well, pretty awful, actually. It was the result of a rigged spin the bottle—yes, this is how goody-goody my group of friends were; we played spin the friggin’ bottle after prom. And we were the popular kids—I’d just won Junior Prom Queen! My friends decided that my date and I were destined to be together and basically forced us into a closet to make out. It was sloppy and awkward and totally affectionless. It felt more like he was looking for winning lotto numbers in my mouth than actually kissing me.

Instead, I felt like this! | Source: Shutterstock

Looking back, I was so crazy anxious about my first kiss for nothing. I had put so much pressure on my first lip-lock that it was doomed to disappoint. I wish I hadn’t stressed about it to the point that I wasn’t even enjoying hanging out with guys or living in the moment on first dates. KISS KISS KISS was all my mind could focus on. Plus, what I know now is that lots of girls don’t get kissed until they’re 18, or even older!

The lesson here, girls (besides the fact that spin-the-bottle can be hazardous to your mental health!) is that obsessing over anything—good or bad—will make you miss out on the moments happening right in front of you. I mean, holding hands is actually pretty fun, now that I think about it!

Are you still waiting for your first kiss? Or how old were you when you first smooched somebody? Tell me everything in the comments!

Want To Hear About This Girl’s Hilarious First Make Out? YES You Do!

Levi Johnston will be a dad again. Doesn't he have another hobby--or access to condoms? | Source: Shutterstock

Following his tumultuous relationship with Bristol (the former couple can’t seem to agree on anything, from whether Tripp was planned to whether or not they were drunk on wine coolers when they first had sex), you’d think Levi was too busy posing for Playgirl and penning tell-all books to handle another kid. Despite his busy PR schedule though, the 21-year-old Levi Johnston will be a dad again, this time with girlfriend Sunny Oglesby.

We don’t know for sure, of course, but it could be that this pregnancy happened because this Alaskan Romeo was too preoccupied to use protection: Levi has admitted that his new baby wasn’t planned, but that he’s “so excited” to be a dad again. He told TMZ, “Things happen and we are both happy with what came of it.” Interesting that these “things”–aka an “accidental pregnancy“–happened, and were announced when Sarah Palin is co-hosting the Today Show this week. Just sayin’!

Here’s the thing, though: pregnancies don’t just happen. They happen if you and your partner don’t take the proper steps to prevent them. Levi’s getting a lot of flack for this, but Sunny Oglesby is equally responsible for her body. (We think the world just figured that Levi would know better from experience by now.)

Seeing as you can’t get yourself pregnant (at least not without lengthy paperwork and a plan), pregnancy prevention and contraception isn’t just up to you–or your guy. It’s a shared responsibility. Even if you’re on the Pill, a guy should still use a condom–it’s the only way besides abstinence to prevent STDs, and it provides extra protection against pregnancy. Plus, sex is better when you’re safe, because you can relax and enjoy it instead of freaking out.

No glove? No love! | Source: Shutterstock

Fair enough, but how can you talk to your guy about safe sex? Check out this video for tips on how to explain to your partner that condoms are non-negotiable if he wants to sleep with you–and that they can actually be pretty fun!

Have you ever been with a guy who didn’t want to use protection? Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Do you think birth control is the responsibility of both partners? Do you think it’s good that Levi Johnston will be a dad again? Sound off in the comments!
 
 

Remember Teen Mom Jamie Lynn Spears? Find Out What Happened To Her!

Want him to see you as something more? | Source: ShutterStock

As much as you may dread the “friend zone”, I believe that guys end up there more frequently than girls, who are generally more capable of maintaining co-ed friendships (i.e. mature) than us notoriously one-track-minded men. As I outlined in my very first column for Gurl.com, a guy will usually only go out of his way to befriend a girl when she’s dating his buddy, or when both parties have determined through experience that a romance just ain’t in the cards. Otherwise (which is most of the time), he’s likely just getting frisky.

Time to become a little more mysterious... | Source: ShutterStock

However, when you’re the one doing the friendly pursuing, a guy’s reaction will partly depend on how you approach him. In another previous post, I explained how maintaining a little bit of distance and mystery at the beginning of a relationship can keep a guy interested. When you become too close too quickly with a guy before getting romantic, he can take you for granted and lose interest. It’s true that guys do enjoy “the chase,” so your instinct to not throw yourself at them is certainly a good one.

Of course, a guy’s reaction will also depend on how open he is to dating you. If you can tell he’s already crushing, slowly getting to know him better (along with a little casual flirting) will build a level of positive tension which can only be resolved by a kiss. If a dude ends up thinking of you as just “one of the guys” after some well-paced bonding, he might not have been into you to begin with.

Ultimately, if you feel like you’re being too friendly, you might want to give the relationship some space to preserve some of your womanly mystique. Feel free to make one bold move (such as asking him out on a date), but allow him to make the next! Putting the ball in his court and leaving it there until he picks it up again is an important part of finding balance in any relationship.

Good luck!
Ethan

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

Next, find out what dudes really think of padded bras

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When it comes to romance bare-naked truth is rarely something we girls employ. Are you seriously going to tell a dude “Sorry can’t see you tonight, I have a giant zit on my chin.” Um no. And the pretty little lies we tell after a hook up are not so different…Here are a few things we’re thinking, but that you might not want to say after a hookup!

Immediately After…When It’s Good

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She said: Do you wanna watch a movie or something?

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She meant: Spoon me! Spoon me! Spoon me! Spoon me and never leave!

Immediately After…When It’s Bad

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She said: Wow is it 10:15 already? I should really go to bed–I have a facial tomorrow at noon and I, uh, need a good night sleep…or something.

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She meant: Get out of my house right now and never touch me with those hands or lips again. GROSS.

When You Went Farther than You Intended To

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She said: OMG. I never do this, like seriously.

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She meant: Except for that time last year in Panama City…and sleepaway camp…oh and after Winter Formal with John Pfeiffer. And last weekend.

If He Needs a Few Pointers

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She said: So I’m, like, weird–I have this super specific way I like to be kissed. Let me show you…

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She meant: Surprise! I actually don’t enjoy it when someone shoves their tongue in my mouth like they’re digging for gold. You know who else shares this same quirky preference? EVERY SINGLE GIRL ON EARTH.

Talking to the Parents

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She said: Noise? Last night? Ohhhh we were watching Paranormal Activity 2 and I was totally freaking out. Griffin was too. A few times.

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She meant: Note to self: make a loud, rumbly playlist to cover certain, ahem, noise.

Dealing with Protection

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She said: Wait…what do you mean you don’t have a condom?

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She meant: Oh I have them alright, but I’m going to make you sweat this one out for a few minutes. Do I expect you to carry around tampons? No! So don’t automatically assume I’m stuffed to the gills with Trojans!

 
What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard after a hookup? What do you think you should say after a hookup? Tell me everything in the comments!

Want To Know What You Should Never Say On A Date?

Eek! | Source: ShutterStock

If there’s one thing girls can always bond about, it’s an embarrassing hookup story. Trust us: we all have them. So don’t be shy! Read this OMG reader hook-up confession, and then send your own to confession@gurl.com.

My boyfriend and I had been together for about five months when we gradually started getting more physical. We usually hang out in his finished basement, it has carpeting, a couch, a chair and a TV. One day, we were laying on the couch when we started making out. For the record, what we were doing was quite risky considering his dad was so strict about the physicality of our relationship. He didn’t even like us laying together under blankets on the couch.

Anyway, we were making out and things started to get pretty hot. Not too long after, we started getting into oral sex. Right in the middle of everything, his dad walked down the stairs – and we didn’t even hear him! Once he saw what was happening, he yelled at both of us and told me I had to go home IMMEDIATELY.

What’s worse was that his mom had to drive me home. We were so scared that his dad wasn’t going to let me ever come back over that we told her what happened! Even worse? I was banned for two weeks! It was one of the most embarrassing things of my life.

Do you think you can top this confession? Send your hook-up confessions to confession@gurl.com. Don’t worry: they’re totally anonymous.

This girl’s crush threw her in a pool!

Would you rather have a lot of partners? | Source: ShutterStock

Okay, so we’ve already asked you girls if your number of sexual partners is a big deal to you – but now we want to know something a little bit different: would you be okay with only having one sexual partner? As in, only sleeping with one person… ever?

Although that used to be the norm way back when (kind of), nowadays there’s no shame in having more than a couple of sexual partners. But just like there are plenty of people who enjoy sleeping around (nothing wrong with it as long as you’re safe!), there are also plenty of people who stay with their first forever. And there’s nothing wrong with that either! We saw this discussed in the boards, and we want to know: would you be cool with only having sex with one person? Or do you think a girl should experience things? Read what these girls said and then let us know what you think:

Yakubutsu asked:
I’m just wondering…why do lots of people state that they would’ve hated it if they married the only person they slept with, or that it’s better to sleep around before you get married? I know lots of people will just be like “OMFG, I could NEVER marry the ONLY person I’ve had sex with!?” or say it”s “better” to have multiple partners before you do get married, but surely if you’ve found what you’re looking for in all aspects, then that’s worth more than sleeping around? I would love to hear people’s opinions on this. I’ve heard so many people say that you’d be “missing out” if you don’t have more that one partner and so many other people, a massive range of ages, say that it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day if you’ve found what you want.

Is he your one and only? | Source

Jbabiie03 said:
Personally, I don’t think you are “missing out” if you only have one sexual partner. I think that if you only have one sexual partner and you marry him/her, somewhere in the future one will wonder what it would have been like with someone else. I don’t think this applies to everyone but I do think most people will have these thoughts of what it would be like with someone else.

iamsodrunk said:
From my perspective, it’s hard for me to understand how somebody can be happy doing what I see as limiting their experiences. I love experiencing life as much as possible, especially when it comes to personal relationship, and I feel that sexual relationships are a big part of that. I can be really impulsive about sex because in the end, if I DON’T do it then I will always regret not having that experience.

All three girls make great points, and when it comes down to it, we’re going to have to say what they all pretty much ended up saying (check out their full responses here): it really depends on what you want and how you feel.

If you only have sex with one person, and you want to be with them forever, there’s nothing wrong with that! Not everyone needs tons of sexual experiences in life to be happy. But if you want to experience sex with a lot of people, that’s fine too. It’s really about what makes you happy – don’t let society tell you what’s wrong and right.

Who do you agree with? Would you be okay with having one sexual partner? Tell us in the comments!

And also join this convo: would you date a cheater?

Think he's an expert? Maybe not. | Source

My mom was raised Catholic so it was just something you didn’t discuss. She never told my sister and me about menstruation so when I got my period I thought something was super wrong and that I would drop dead at any minute–really. Then when I told her, she just warned me that I could get pregnant now. Mom never even said the word “S-E-X.”

My all-girls school wasn’t much better. By the time I left there, I still basically still knew nothing about sex. Our sex ed was a one-time session around 8th grade with some wacky teacher waving around a banana covered with a condom. Her spiel was that AIDS would kill almost anyone who was sexually active.

I assumed that the lack of info I had around love, sex, dating and my body was just a female thing. Like we women didn’t really know much, but the boys, they knew everything. And when they talked? I was going to listen.

Since there were no boys in my everyday life, I started dating the first dude who rode through my block. We had our first kiss when some time after my Sweet Sixteen. He pulled me in and tongued me down right in front of my parents’ house! I was terrified and titillated–and felt like he must know exactly what he was doing. We started getting together for hot makeout sessions in the back of his mom’s blue Volvo.

Listen to yourself first, girl! | Source

When we decided to go all the way, it was over before I even knew it started. Later I asked him if that’s basically, you know, all there was. I couldn’t understand what all of the fuss was about. It was then that he explained that he was a virgin too! We both had our first time together. My “love guru” didn’t know anymore than what I knew.

My point in telling you all of this is that some guys–even the guys who are just as inexperienced or less experienced than you–will try to tell you what’s “right” or how things “work” with sex. Some guys tell girls that if they have blue balls and don’t get sex, they’ll die (HA!) or that there’s no way that you can get pregnant if you have sex, say, in a swimming pool (soooo not true!). Some of these guys are flat out liars, and those guys should be avoided at all cost, but then other guys are just telling you what their friends or older brothers told them. Chances are, they don’t know any more about sex than you do.

So, educate yourself, girl. Poke around this site–poke yourself a little, too!–and be honest with your partners. You’ll figure it all out in good time.

Did your parents ever tell you about sex? Have dudes tried to tell you things that weren’t true about sex? Tell me everything in the comments!

Need Birth Control? Here’s Help!

I wish it had been this hot! | Source

Right.

Well, that didn’t exactly happen for me. I’d gone on a couple dates with my new boyfriend, but we’d always been in public places like at the bowling alley or at the neighborhood deli–not exactly make out central!–so we’d only had a couple of quick kisses.

One night, he invited me over and when I got there, he said his parents were gone. He asked if I wanted to watch a movie, but made up some excuse about how the TV in the living room was busted, so we’d have to watch it in his parents’ room. Talk about subtle!

Figuring he wanted to make out with me, I went to the bathroom first so I could swish a little mouthwash and put on some strawberry lip balm.

Way to ruin my date, banana! | Source

I guess my boyfriend had bragged to his friends that he was going to finally make out with me, and they decided to punk him–and me! We laughed about it later, but that night, we were both seriously pissed!

What was your first make out session like? Hopefully it didn’t include any flying bananas–but even if it did, tell me everything in the comments!

Want To Hear Another First Make Out Story? Got You Covered!

Are dudes into the extra stuffing? | Source: Tribune

First of all, there’s no reason to hate your small boobs! Check out my previous post on what guys really think about breast size.

In addition to the fact that male physical preferences are completely subjective, you need to own those perky pals of yours because excessively padded bras can be an issue for guys. Half a cup size is generally no biggie if you’re looking for a little boost — lots of guys honestly can’t tell the difference between a large A and a small B. But it’s usually pretty obvious when a lady undresses and her imposter Cs are actually As. Imagine kissing a guy whose sexy moustache were to fall off when your mouths meet – it’d be pretty shocking, if not disappointing. However, more than anything, padded bras are frustrating not because a modest chest is so unattractive, but because deception is.

Keira Knightley is gorgeous without the extra padding | Source: Bloggr.com

Let’s be honest here: if the relationship develops, and you’re anything like most couples out there, he’s eventually going to uncover what you’re truly working with. You shouldn’t pretend to be athletic to impress a jock, or a natural swimmer to woo a lifeguard, right? Well, while it may not directly result in injury or drowning, the same goes for lying about your boobs!

When a girl changes her appearance too drastically to look the way she thinks she “should,” the lack of confidence can be a turn off to guys. Subtle enhancements are one thing — we can appreciate a glossy lip or some leg extending high heels now and then. But remember that too much deceit not only sets the wrong precedent, it reveals a needless insecurity much less appealing than your beautifully smaller boobs can ever be.

Good luck!
Ethan

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

Would you wear a padded bra? Join the discussion!

So awkward! | Source: ShutterStock

If there’s one thing girls can always bond about, it’s an embarrassing hookup story. Trust us: we all have them. So don’t be shy! Read this OMG reader hook-up confession, and then send your own to confession@gurl.com.

One day I went over to a friend’s house to go to a party. I thought it was a small get together, but it turned out to be a wild house party. My friends were having a good time dancing while I was sitting in the corner.

So when my crush walked up to me, I was super excited. He asked me if I wanted to go on a walk, and of course I said yes, thinking he was going to kiss me or tell me liked me too. We went outside by the pool, and then… he pushed me in! Fully clothed and in front of everyone!

Luckily, my best friend saved me by jumping in also. Then everyone started to jump in… so I guess it didn’t end up that bad. But I was still totally embarrassed that I was so wrong about him.

Do you think you can top this confession? Send your hook-up confessions to confession@gurl.com. Don’t worry: they’re totally anonymous.