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If you’re in any way, shape, or form prone to a little fibbing, then your period can quickly turn into a lying bonanza about everything from your mood to your weight and everything in between! And who can blame you for telling a few half-truths when you feel like hell–amirite? Of course I’m right!

Food Cravings

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She said: I’m soooo hungry I totally skipped lunch today.

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She meant: As in, I skipped the line and ordered two meatball subs and now two hours later I could inhale a whole pizza if no one was watching. FML.

Sex Cravings

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She said: What are you doooooing? Come overrrrrrr…

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She meant: If you don’t come lay on top of me in the next 20 minutes, I’m texting you that you kiss like a vacuum cleaner (I’ll decide what that means later) and deleting your number. Tick tock, bro. Oh but don’t touch my boobs because they hurt like hell.

Your Mood

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She said: Oh I have lipstick on my teeth? Cool thanks for the heads up. Uh can you excuse me for a minute?

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She meant: I’ll just be in the bathroom sobbing for the next 20 minutes. I AM A HIDEOUS UNLOVABLE LIPSTICK BEAST.

That Pesky PMS Bloat

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She said: MOMMMMMM WTF is wrong with the dryer they totally shrunk my jeans!

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She meant: I’m so fat that no one will even notice my smeared lipstick. I wonder if my dad has an extra car cover I can fashion into a dress…

The Day You Get It

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She said: Ugggggh Jules do you have an extra tampon? I’m, like, a walking autopsy right now.

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She meant: I’ve been mensturating for the last, what, 7 years? I can’t own ONE pair of underwear without ruining them?? Sigh.

Cramps

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She said: No DAD I can’t help you put on the Christmas lights. I AM IN SEVERE PAIN IN MY LADY AREA!

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She meant: I took a Midol an hour ago. I’m fine. I just really want to watch the new RHOBH.

Do you ever lie on your period? Tell us about it in the comments!

One Way Your Period Actually Helps You

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I just wanted my mom! | Source: Shutterstock

But I’m not writing about any of those firsts. I’m writing about a first I never looked forward to experiencing—my first period. I’m pretty sure the only time in life you pine for a visit from Aunt Flo is when you think you’re preggers and don’t want to be.

I especially never wanted to get my first period at summer camp, hundreds of miles from civilization and my mom. But after archery class one hot summer day, I saw blood in my underwear. Let’s be honest: no matter how many birds and the bees talks you received and no matter how many health classes you taken, no one is ever truly prepared for her first period. I didn’t feel like a woman; I felt like an ER patient. “My vagina is bleeding and it won’t stop” ran through my mind in a loop.

I figured a little toilet paper could solve the situation and it’d be over by dinnertime. (Yes, I was bit confused on periods.) When that didn’t work and I was close to using my camp’s summer supply of toilet paper, I finally confided in a friend. By confided, I mean burst into inconsolable tears. I didn’t want my period, and I didn’t want it like this.

My friend did what any intelligent 12-year-old would do when facing a crisis: she brought in reinforcements. As a collective group of friends, everyone decided we must tell the counselors. The counselors comforted me in the best way they could, but I could tell in their eyes that they were thinking: “I came to work at camp for a tan; I’m not being paid enough for this.”

I never thought I'd have to tell my dad! | Source: Shutterstock

Let me tell you, the only thing worse than getting your period at camp is having to tell you dad about it over the phone with the male camp director listening in the same room.

For a few days, I waddled around camp in my counselor’s mattress sized pads until finally my vagina stopped bleeding. When the weekend arrived, a counselor pulled me aside and said I had a visitor—another camp no-no. She led me to the parking lot where my dad sat in his car. He had driven over three hours to deliver his daughter two things: a beautiful letter about growing up (no period mentions, thank god) and a McDonald’s extra value meal—another camp no-no.

To this day, I can still remember sitting in my dad’s car and sipping a chocolate milkshake. We didn’t say much to each other, but it was better that way. My first period was a total bitch, but it did show me how much my dad loved me even if had no idea what to say to a recently mensing daughter. And it also taught that if you don’t know what to say to someone, buying a chocolate milkshake works too.

Gwendolyn is the author of the new novel A Long Way From You.

Have you gotten your first period yet? Where were you when it happened? If you’re still waiting, do you carry pads with you just in case? Tell me everything in the comments!

Still Haven’t Gotten Your Period? Think Yours Came Too Early?

Going through puberty is ALWAYS awkward! | Source: Shutterstock

I was roughly the age that most of my friends got their periods–totally normal–but I still felt like a total freak.

Last week, the New York Times ran a big story about “early puberty,” focusing on how a ton of 6, 7, and 8-year-old girls are starting to grow breasts and pubic hair before the average girl. Overall, the article was packed with information, but I do have one major problem with it–and that’s the term “early puberty.” If a girl is hitting puberty in the third grade, that might not be “normal” compared to the rest of the world, but it certainly is normal for her, and I can’t see how freaking out about it and schlepping her around to specialist doctors will do anything but freak her out more.

Growing up is hard enough! | Source: Shutterstock

Apparently, some parents are insisting on their daughters getting hormone shots to slow down the progress of puberty–but the scary thing is that these same shots that can keep a little girl “little” can also cause things like osteoperosis, a serious condition that involves the weakening of your bones. Is that worth it? I don’t think so, and I bet if girls were given a choice, they’d say they didn’t want the shots, either!

Nobody knows for sure what’s causing really young girls to start developing breasts, but if I know anything about girls, I know that when we start getting breasts or our period starts or–whatever–it’s mortifying, and we just want to be left alone about it.

It seems like there are some things parents can do when their daughters are babies and toddlers that might help prevent early puberty–like making sure their kids eat healthy food without hormones, that they exercise, and that they do not become obese–but once a girl is already hitting puberty, no matter how old she is, isn’t that time to just accept it and try to support her the best you can? I think so, especially since girls who develop early are already at higher risk of having low self-esteem, depression, and eating disorders. Youch! Girls who hit puberty early need extra love and hugs–not prescription drugs!

So if you started developing early, maybe even before all your friends, try not to freak out. It’s actually pretty normal now. No, it’s not super fun to go through all these changes, but we all go through it sometime. You are not alone!

How old were you when you started developing? Did you feel kind of embarrassed about it? How old were you when you got your first period? Do you think early puberty is something we should freak out about? Tell me everything in the comments!

Still Waiting To Get Your Period? Don’t Stress About It, Girl!

10. When I’m upset that you’re 30 min late—my time is valuable, dude!

9. When I’m stressed about finals—that scholarship? Muy Importante!

8. When I’m pissed that my phone died . . . again.

7. When I want to eat cookies. What? Cookies are good!

6. When I’d rather stay in bed. It’s cozy in there!

5. When sappy ads make me cry (that one with the little girl on the swing? How can you not cry!)

4. When I take my purse to the ladies’ room. There’s lipgloss in there, too, you know!

3. When you ate your lunch and mine . . . again.

2. When I’d rather see a romcom than some random samurai movie.

1. Anytime! My period? So not your business!

What are your period pet peeves? Tell us in the comments!

This post was written in partnership with Kotex. Check out their campaign to Ban the Bland.

For more on your period, check out our Complete Guide to Your Period Options!

on my period

there's a first time for everything. period.

First periods can be scary, but this gURL wrote in to tell us it was the freakiest thing that ever happened to her! What would you do? Read on!

“Well, it’s kind of funny how I got it. I was with my cousin. She was 15 and I was 9… yeah hard to believe — 9! It was like 1 a.m. and we were both on the Internet looking for things to do while there was a party outside for my other cousin’s birthday.

|Wanna talk about your body? Do it on the Shout Out Boards!|

Suddenly I had to go to the bathroom and I saw myself covered with LOTS of blood. I actually thought I was dying of cancer (yeah, there was some craziness) and I yelled like crazy: “AANDYYY! HELPP THERE’S BLOOD EVERY WHERE DOWN THERE, OH HELP!” And she said” WTF?! OMG YOU’RE A WOMAN! CONGRATS!” I was still in shock. And then she called my mother, and my mom didn’t believe me. But I didn’t really care.

Then my cousin gave me a pad. I didn’t actually know what it was or how to put it on, so she gave me instructions. I got out of the bathroom freaked out like hell and  started crying, so she sang to me! She doesn’t sing very well so I started to laugh harder than ever and then cried again.

|Why do you get your period? Is that red stuff really blood? Does it ever stop? Get all of the facts now!|

It was, is, and will continue to be the weirdest thing ever! Now I have grown and I know what everything is thanks to her and gURL.com so… I’m okay.”

Do you have a first period story to share? Go on, Send it on in to askanexpert@gurl.com. Or, share it in the comments below!

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there's a first time for everything. period.

First periods don’t have to be embarrassing, but Chloe wrote in to tell us it was the most embarrassing moment of her life!! Could you survive? Read on!

“In September of 2005, when I got my first period, I didn’t have any pads, so I bled straight through my jeans. I asked a girl to borrow one of her two jackets and she wouldn’t let me, so I could do nothing but ask my science teacher (at that time, a 51 year old male) to let me go to the nurse to get a new pair of pants. I said “Mr R, a very private thing just happened to me, may I please go to the nurse to get a new pair of pants?” And he was like “Sure thing! I won’t tell anyone, just quietly slip out the door.”
So I did. I got my pants and all was well again.
In December, my science teacher was teaching a mandatory sex education class. On the first day of having both boys and girls in our class, he started talking about periods and said, “Now girls, you can ALWAYS trust me if you need something for your period! Just ask me to go to the nurse and I’ll let you go. When Chloe got her first period and bled through her pants, she asked me to go and I let her!!!!”
Right when he said that, EVERYONE turned and faced me with looks of disgust. I was HUMILIATED!!! It was by far the most embarrassing moment of my life. That was six years ago and I am still teased about it.”

Do you have a first period story to share? Go on, Send it on in to askanexpert@gurl.com. Or,  share it in the comments below!

more ways to get gURLy:

• Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
• Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
• Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
• Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
• Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
• Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
• Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!

there's a first time for everything. period.

Oh god. Literally.

I got my first period in church. Of course, I was dressed in a yellow and white and cream printed dress and it was springtime so I didn’t have tights on or anything. Just me, my white panties and my light colored dress. Mass was almost over and I had been thinking about how much I hated my algebra teacher and how I was going to deal with it the right way and then I just felt something pop!

I ran to the bathroom and saw the blood and immediately though god had struck me with a disease or curse! It didn’t occur to me, at 12, that it was my period! It was brighter and bigger than I had expected and, it had already spotted through my underwear and on to my dress. I started crying and apologizing to God and vowing to just bear up and do my algebra homework without getting someone’s help and that I’d never think of Mr. Greco in a bad way again.

My mom finally came in and heard me crying. I let her in the stall and she explained that I wasn’t cursed. We ended up laughing as she helped me clean up and figure it out. And, I definitely thought mean things about Mr. Greco again.

Could you imagine it? OMG!  Have a first period story you want to share? Send it in to askanexpert@gurl.com, or, you can share it in the comments below!

-gURL

more ways to get gURLy:

• Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
• Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
• Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
• Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
• Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
• Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
• Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!

there's a first time for everything. period.

Could you imagine an audience of teenage boys present when you got your first period? Here’s this gURL’s mortifying story!

All eyes were on my brother until I felt something wet down there. It was his 14th birthday and all of his really really hot friends were all at our house. Some were playing ping pong, others air hockey, and a few were on Wii. My parents set up a 3-hole mini golf course in the backyard, and that’s where I was, playing with my bff who was also drooling over the boys that were surrounding us. My grandparents, aunts, and uncles all  sat across the yard near the snack table, watching us gurls attempting to look sexy as we bent down to position our balls.

|When will you get your period? Here, maybe this will help.|

About half way through our third round, a few of my brother’s friends came over, including Hayden, the one I had the hugest crush on.  They wanted in on the next round. I was so excited.  I had just landed my ball in the hole, leaned down to get it, and when I got up, that’s when I felt it. I was 12 but still, I didn’t know what it was. I thought maybe I had to pee and since I was wearing a dress I dropped my golf club and ran into the house. Of course, I literally bumped into 10 different dudes to get to the bathroom. And when I got there, and saw the bright red specks in my underwear, I couldn’t believe it. I called for my mom who had a few overnight pads — she had run out of her usually thin maxi’s! So there I was, walking around in front of those dudes with what felt like a brick between my legs. It felt awful.

I opted out of the next round of mini-golf for fear of a boy seeing up there and seeing THAT. My bff kept wanting to know why — obviously she really wanted to play with the boys. I couldn’t tell her though.

|Discuss your period ish’s on the Shout Out Boards!|

When my mom came back outside, she headed straight for the snack table and started whispering the news to the family. I was humiliated. They started sending me weird smiles and all I wanted to do was cry. When it came time to sing my brother “Happy Birthday,” it seemed my family couldn’t help but look at ME while they sang it, as if they were singing “Happy Womanhood” instead!

Have you had a similar experience? Share your first period story with us! Email us at askanexpert@gurl.com and we’ll publish it!

-gURL

more ways to get gURLy:

• Pearls of wisdom, survey q’s, polls, quotes to live by — it’s all on gURL.com’s Twitter. Follow us!
• Luv gURL? Then ‘Like’ us, too! Let’s be friends on Facebook and you’ll get first looks at stories!
• Can’t get enough of gURL.com? We don’t blame you. Sign up for our weekly newsletter!
• Let’s talk. Shout Out advice, music, politics, poetry, your style and MORE!
• Your hook on hooking up: gURL’s sex, health & relationships blog.
• Need some advice, quick? Ask Heather anything; she answers three q’s, daily!
• Bored? Take new quizzes and play gURL games!