This won't be cute after five minutes. Seriously. | Source: Shutterstock

Babies are pretty cool. They’re usually happy to see you, they’ll always love you, and they’re super cute! But that doesn’t mean having a baby right now is a good idea. In fact, as a teen, it’s normally a pretty bad idea.

First off, babies are freakin’ expensive. We’re  gonna throw some numbers at you: 80 percent of unwed teen mothers have to go on welfare to support themselves and their babies. Having a baby makes going to school and/or work a lot tougher. Plus, it’s harder to get a good job considering only one-third of teen moms get a high school diploma. And with the economy being so rough that people with college degrees often work minimum wage jobs, you can’t even imagine how hard it’d be to get work with limited availability and limited education. And continuing on with your education is tough too–only 1.5% of teen moms go on to get a college degree. It’s a pretty vicious cycle, and it’s one best avoided completely.

Then there’s the emotional toll having a baby will take on you. You can pretty much say “peace out” to hanging out with your friends, going to the movies on a whim, or taking a spontaneous weekend road trip with your girls, because you’re going to need to hire a sitter–which usually costs money that most teen parents don’t have. It may be harder for you and your friends to relate to one another, because when they’re talking about who’s wearing what dress to prom, you’ll likely be stressing about onesies and Desitin.

And don’t even think that having a baby will keep your boyfriend around. In fact, stats show that he’ll probably bounce–8 out of 10 guys who get a teen girl preggers don’t marry her.

Additionally, you can bet having a kid–or even just announcing that you’re pregnant–will cause a big strain on your relationship with your parents. Your having a kid likely isn’t their fault–but it will inevitably become, at least in part, their problem. And that’s not really fair.

This won't be cute after five minutes. Seriously. | Source: Shutterstock

Oh, and dude, let’s not even get started on how gross diapers are. Do you really want to be responsible for something that poops up its own back? I sure don’t…yet!

Don’t believe us? Well, you can take a dry run at parenthood and see for yourself. You and your pals can test out DoSomething.org’s The Pregnancy Text for a day and see how having a rugrat of your own affects you. You’ll get text messages throughout the day that mimic taking care of a kid. It’s a wake up call for sure–and it’s only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the drama a real baby would bring you. What we love about this program is that it’s geared to girls and guys. So many teen pregnancy campaigns only target girls and we all know, boys make babies happen just as much as girls do. In addition to a hard taste of parenthood, participating will enter you to win a $2,000 scholarship to college. Teen pregnancy awareness and money for school, thanks DoSomething.org!

Having a kid when you’re still one yourself limits so many fun and exciting opportunities that you’d otherwise have. You have your whole life to get pregnant and start a family. It’s worth the wait to enjoy your youth while you can–and thankfully, a lot of teens are catching on, because the U.S. pregnancy rate is the lowest it’s been since 1940!

If you’re looking for someone who will always be happy to see you and drool on you (and that won’t talk back in its teenage years), your best bet now is to get a puppy–and use protection.

Have you ever thought about having a baby? Would you want to be a teen mom despite all the risks and hardships? Tell us in the comments!

Source: WENN

The other day I tried to explain to my mom the social gravity of what happens when you unfriend or unfollow a guy.

“So you guys aren’t friends on Facebook, can’t you still hang out in real life?” she asked innocently. Ha ha ha, moms, amirite? I told her that NO under no circumstances would be anything other than searing arch enemies from here on out.

I don’t know about you, but it seriously pains me to have to unfriend or unfollow a guy I like. But sometimes, their douchebaggery leaves you no choice. Case in point: Rihanna, who unfollowed her uber-awful ex Chris Brown after he rapped about “smashing her like a pumpkin.” At least I think that’s what it said, I don’t really speak thug but apparently RiRi thought it was pretty offensive too because she nixed him from her Twitter list.

While the dudes in your life hopefully aren’t this horrendous, here’s a handy dandy guide to help you figure out when to hit the romantic delete button.

When He Publicly Disses You

Life is hard enough without having some jackass pop up in your news feed reminding EVERYONE about how you tripped down the stairs at last night. Yeah, maybe teasing you is a way of flirting, but if your gut tells you that um no, he’s actually just being kind of a jerk, nix him.

Source: WENN

When You Realize You’re Obsessing Over Him
Once upon a time Facebook should’ve just been called MarcBook because I used it exclusively for spying on my crush. I agonized over every new wall post or comment like—what did they mean?!?!—until it dawned on me that I’d gone from smitten to stalker. Get a grip, put your own sanity first, and take him out of your feed.

When He’s Offensive
Kim Zolciak and Beyonce gave me my new fave phrase, “Show your ass.” It means that you revealed your true self, and it ain’t pretty. When a man shows you who he is, believe him. My last crush did this when I caught him tweeting something creepy to a porn star (yeah Matt, I caught that) and I realized that this was probably the tip of his unappealing iceberg. UNFOLLOW!

When He Posts About Other Girls
Once upon a time I was BBM’ing with this hockey player and was totes going to let him fly me out to see him in Phoenix…until I saw a few tweets about him creeping on girls (his words!) in Vegas. Umm yeah, I know we’re not married or anything, but at least have the decency to keep that crap under wraps. Any guy who brags about being a sleaze is just that. Blechh.

When He Unfriends You
Gasp! The NERVE! There’s nothing more chilling than realizing that a guy has unfollowed you before you could unfollow him. If you think a move like this could be around the corner, take back your power and beat him to the punch!

Have you ever had to unfriend or unfollow a dude? What did you think about Rihanna unfollowing Chris Brown? Tell me everything about your digital disses in the comments!

Would You Put Your Relationship Status On Facebook?

Somebody should have told Mariah about her camel toe! | Source: WENN

When I was a kid my mom put me in gymnastics classes with hopes that I would be the next U.S. Olympian in ribbon dancing or something. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but something else did… I learned of the infamous camel toe. For some reason it seemed like the older girls who were actually (unlike me) really serious about the sport and had been doing it for a long time had just never gotten around to buying new leotards as they got older. The girls got bigger and those pesky little leotards just stayed the same stinkin’ size.

Those older girls would walk by in a single file line heading to the vault or the high beam or who even knows but they all had something in common—something a little weird looking going on down there. I noticed it immediately. Seriously I’m not being dramatic, this repulsive image is scarred in my brain. It looked like leotard was, for some reason, much tighter in the middle area of their lady parts and looser on the edges. Which basically…. Made it look like their lady parts had been split in two or something!

Obviously, I had to ask my mom (since we didn’t have Gurl at the time) about my big “discovery” of the day and that’s when I learned that the official name for the abomination was “Camel Toe.”

Let it sink in for a second, ladies. I bet you’re starting to understand where the name came from… yes, it’s disgusting. I can bet you a ton of money that no girl in her right mind wants to walk past the dreamy person of her dreamiest dreams with a crotch disaster like a camel toe. I’ll set the scene.

Here's the real deal. Get it?! | Source: Shutterstock

Yes ladies, that is the image that we want to avoid. So, in a situation as dire as this one, there are certain things we’ve got to do to keep our privates well…private! We’ve got to always be on the lookout for hints of the Arabian Desert (camel joke? ehh nevermind) especially when it comes to tight fitting pants like hot pants, high-waisted shorts, leggings and even some tight fitting jeans. Before we walk outside in that bathing suit, we’ve got to make sure that it’s not riding up in the front. And by all means, (let’s make a little promise here) if we get a camel toe, we MUST take care of it before someone else notices!

And if you’re walking down the street with a big obvious camel toe, please don’t get offended when I call you out on that atrocious monster. I just saved you from losing the smooching partner of your dreams! You’re welcome.

Have you ever had to tell a friend she had a camel toe? Have you ever realized you had one in leggings or jeggings? Tell me about it in the comments!

Now For A Biggie: What’s Up With Discharge?!

If this new method works, you'll have to blame any craziness on something other than your birth control! | Source: Shutterstock

Birth control can be pretty awesome, whether or not you’re taking it to prevent pregnancy: a lot of girls take hormonal birth control to ease cramps, lighten their periods, balance hormones, or help with acne, even if they aren’t sexually active. And when you’re on the right pill for you, it’s great.

But if you’ve ever tried a birth control pill that made you moody or mopey, you know how frustrating it can feel–because a lot of times, you can’t even put your finger on why you’re so miserable. So you swap pills again and again until you find something that works, which can take a while since you typically have to wait about three months to see how your body adjusts to each one. Annoying, right?

This is because estrogen, the main hormone in most birth control pills, can affect your moods–similarly to how the day before your period comes, a simple (and honestly, lame) Hallmark commercial can make you spontaneously start bawling. It sucks, but soon all these birth control-related mood swings might be a thing of the past.

Here’s why: A new birth control is being developed that may not make you feel so whacked out all the time. Docs in the U.S. and a few other countries are working on a new vaginal ring (like the Nuva Ring) that will prevent pregnancy and possibly lighten your period. And here’s the kicker–the ring they’re testing doesn’t have the estrogen or progesterone that pills have, so it may be less likely to make you weepy, whiny, or grouchy!

The ingredient they’re using instead of traditional hormones is called ulipristal acetate (UPA), the same stuff used in ella, which is an emergency contraception pill. This is not to be confused with the “abortion pill,” which is Mifeprex–they work a lot differently. Most forms of emergency contraception release progestin, which, like birth control pills, “tricks” your body into thinking you’re already preggers. Ella works a little differently because it instead suppresses the hormone progesterone, which delays ovulation for five to seven days. This gives sperm, which can live in your uterus for about a week, time to die before an egg is released, making you a lot less likely to get pregnant. It won’t work if you’re already pregnant!

That said, docs want to see if continued low doses of UPA can prevent ovulation, too. Bonus? Other estrogen-related side effects, like headaches or sore boobs, are a lot less likely if this stuff turns out to work.

The new ring is still in the trial stages, so it will probably be a while before we can buy and try it for ourselves. But we’re just stoked to know that they’re working on this! Now if you’ll excuse us, we have some card commercials to cry over.

Has your birth control ever made you moody? Have you ever had to change birth control pills because they made you feel nuts? What birth control are you using now? Have your birth control’s side effects ever made you stop taking them? Tell us in the comments!

Need To Get On Birth Control? Here’s How

Oh. My. God. | Source: ShutterStock

If there’s one thing girls can always bond about, it’s an embarrassing hookup story. Trust us: we all have them. So don’t be shy! Read this OMG reader hook-up confession, and then send your own to confession@gurl.com.

I love getting oral sex. And I really don’t think my boyfriend minds giving it! One day, we were hooking up and things started getting pretty intense, so we moved into him giving me oral sex.

In the middle of the whole thing, I FARTED! It was so embarrassing and was a total turn-off for me. My boyfriend laughed but I was totally disappointed and felt so embarrassed.

Do you think you can top this confession? Send your hook-up confessions to confession@gurl.com. Don’t worry: they’re totally anonymous.

This girl embarrassed herself in front of her crush and her whole class

Abstinence is the safest sex--but it's not always the most likely to happen. | Source: Shutterstock

Roosevelt High School in East L.A. is located in what experts actually call a “pregnancy hotspot,” because teen pregnancy occurs is two to three times more likely than elsewhere. With that in mind, you’d think that people would be stoked to have a Planned Parenthood sponsored clinic in Roosevelt High. Though a lot of you aren’t having sex, plenty of you are, so it’s important to have access to contraception, be it condoms, birth control, or, ideally, both. The clinic provides not only access to contraception, but also information–and considering a survey was released recently implying that teens weren’t too informed about safe sex, that may be the most important part of their work.

However, opponents to the program are pissed that the clinic is “normalizing” teen sex instead of promoting abstinence. But here’s a news flash: If enough teens are getting pregnant to make your high school a “pregnancy hotspot,” teen sex probably is pretty normal. That makes it more important than ever to go over the risks of unsafe sex, because people need to know how to protect themselves. While reps for the program say that they do go over abstinence, they recognize and understand that while abstinence is the only 100 percent safe sex, it’s also clearly not very likely. However, if students know about the risks involved with sex–pregnancy, STDs, emotional complications–they may actually be more likely to abstain on their own. And if they’re not, at least they know how to protect themselves.

Perhaps the opponents of the program will stop complaining once they see that it’s working. The year before Planned Parenthood’s clinic came to Roosevelt High, there were 32 pregnancies on campus. The next year? There were three.

More of one may mean less of the other. | Source: Shutterstock

While those numbers are admittedly gradually going up, they’re still far below what they were before the program began. Whether the drop can be attributed to teens having more safe sex or less sex in general, we think Roosevelt High is on the right track. The U.S. teen pregnancy rate is the lowest it’s ever been since 1940, and that doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by making informed and intelligent decisions, whether you choose to have sex or not.

Do you think having Planned Parenthood in schools is a good idea? Do you think having Planned Parenthood in schools encourages teens to have sex? Do you think abstinence-only education is a better bet? Tell us in the comments!

Want To Know More About The Best Birth Control? Yes, You DO!

Is your birth control increasing your blood clot risk? | Source: Shutterstock

Considering a lot of women and girls use hormonal birth control not only to prevent pregnancy, but also for health reasons–it can ease cramps and PMS, lighten periods, balance hormones, and even clear your skin–it’s pretty scary to find out contraceptives might be deadly.

You may have seen commercials touting the risks of Yaz and Yasmin lately, but a new study suggests that non-oral hormonal birth control–things like NuvaRing and birth control patches–may pose a much higher risk of blood clots than the Pill.

What is a blood clot? There are a couple different kinds. The good kind is the blood clot that forms when you have a cut or a wound–the scab that forms and helps the bleeding to stop and the injury to heal. However, there’s also a bad kind that can be associated with birth control. This type of a blood clot is called “venous thrombosis,” which is a fancy term meaning a blood clot that forms in a vein. If a clot forms in a vein, it can prevent blood from flowing to the heart. And if blood stops flowing to your heart . . . you can die.

Taking birth control pills can triple your risk of blood clots–yikes! But their non-pill counterparts may be worse: vaginal rings increased the risk by 6.5 percent, and the birth control patch increased chances of blood clots by eight times compared to non-users.

However, it’s important to note that this is just one study, and outside health factors may not have been taken into consideration. Blood clot risk is a lot higher for birth control users who are overweight, inactive, have a family history of blood clots, or who smoke. And something else to think about? Pregnancy actually poses a much higher risk of blood clots than any and all hormonal birth control methods, so using birth control if you’re sexually active can technically lower your chance of blood clots.

The birth control patch may be more dangerous to your health than the pill... But pregnancy is still a higher blood clot risk! | Source: Shutterstock

Another comforting notion? Only about 1 in 3,000 women who take birth control will get a blood clot. Still, it’s important to stay informed and aware of the risks whenever you’re thinking about starting or changing your contraceptives–especially because blood clots like these have killed some girls. If you’re having safe sex or just trying to keep your period in check, it’s also important to keep the rest of you safe, too.

Have you ever had a blood clot from birth control? Have you ever used a vaginal ring or birth control patch? Have you experienced negative side effects to your birth control? Tell us in the comments!
 
 

Want To Know How To Get On Birth Control?

Ryan & Rachel are still friends! | Source: S_bukley and ShutterStock

Usually, when you break up with your significant other, or they break up with you, the last thing you want to do is see them and play nice. The only problem with avoiding them and completely taking them out of your life? That person was once everything to you – and, um, you’re going to miss them.

Do you think it’s possible to put aside those hurt feelings and stay friends with an ex? Sometimes it can seem totally impossible… but then there are those lucky ex-couples who manage to stay BFF for years after their relationship. We saw this topic in the message boards and want to know what you think: can you really stay friends with an ex? Read what these girls had to say and then leave a comment with your thoughts:

stayclassy said:
So my boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. A year and a half… down the freakin drain.

Anyway, before I go on and on about that which would be pointless… While breaking up with me, he begged me not to be out of his life. He still cares about me and always wants to know I’m okay. I’ve never stayed friends with an ex but he is obviously different to me. I also care about him and want to make sure he’s okay but at the same time, I want to be able to move on and not let this hold me back from wanting a new guy in my life, eventually.

I need to think about me. I’m scared to stay friends because I’m afraid that in the back of my head, I might wonder about getting back together one day. I don’t want to think that way because I don’t wait on anyone!

What’s your opinion in staying friends after breaking up?

If you're going to try it, give yourself time. | Source: ShutterStock

skaitlin said:
I hate to say that I have never seen it work. It is nearly impossible to go back to being friends after you have invested in someone emotionally, and physically, for so long. It is so difficult to forget those feelings and just treat them as a friend. I wish it was possible, but I think it is very difficult. I think that you guys will be able to handle talking every once in awhile. But I wouldn’t think it is a good idea to hang out one on one ever or go out of your way to hang out with him. You deserve to heal and move on (in time) and have a new relationship sometime down the road.

Personally, I am going to have to agree with skaitlin on this one… staying friends with an ex is extremely difficult, especially if there were really strong feelings involved. It’s so hard to learn how to treat your ex as just a friend and nothing more. In my opinion, I think exes are best off staying friendly and polite – but not getting too close again.

However, I have seen it work, so it’s definitely not impossible! If you’re going to attempt to stay friends with your ex, then you need to give it some time – wait a few months after the breakup to reconnect as friends so that you both have the time you need to move on and heal. Don’t try being friends right away. It’s way too hard to fall back into old behaviors and into an on-again-off-again type of relationship.

Who do you agree with? Do you think it’s possible to stay friends with an ex? Have you ever done it? Let us know in the comments.

How do you feel about making relationships Facebook official?

It feels good--AND it's good for you! | Source: Shutterstock

The word masturbation itself is sure to get a giggle in any crowd. Throughout history, there have been varying levels of shame associated with touching one’s body. U.S. Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders was even fired in 1994 for suggesting at a U.N. Conference on AIDS that young people explore their bodies (aka masturbate!) as an alternative to risky sexual behavior.

Yup, she was fired for suggesting that teens should masturbate. You know what though? Jocey was right on the money. So, let’s get down to business if you will: why masturbate?

1. Super Safe Sex
I’m not only your friendly neighborhood Love Columnist, but I am also a Safe Sex Activist. Sex does not get any safer than just you and your fingers.

Feeling sexual urges is natural. Some days we all feel like big old horndogs! If you can quench some of those urges yourself, that’s the safest sex of all.

No diseases. No risk of getting pregnant. The only risk is incredible pleasure. Ohh-freakin-la-la!

2. Sexploration: It’s Like Going On Safari . . . On Your Body
Every week it seems like girls at school or on our favorite TV shows are talking about something sexually new. It can be embarrassing to think of trying to figure it all out with someone else. The cool thing about self touch is that you can learn firsthand, pun intended, what feels good to you.

3. Stress Less
There are so many reasons to feel wound up about life. Well, as luck would have it, masturbation is a great stress reliever. Renowned sex therapist Dr. Gloria Brame explains, “A study in Scotland a few years ago proved that people who had orgasms before important speaking engagements felt much calmer and more self-possessed when it came to deliver their speeches.” Wowzers. Have a big presentation in class on Tuesday? Why not masturbate that morning! It could boost your grades!

4. More Orgasmic? Hell Yeah!
The more you touch yourself the more orgasmic your body becomes. It is a fact. Women who self pleasure are more likely to have a climactic time during intercourse. When you are by yourself you can perfect, ahem, the touch, pressure and stimulation that works best for you. Then when you’re with a partner, kowabunga!

5. Confidence, Lady. Confidence!
Having intimate knowledge of our bodies is great insurance against all of the negative body image ideas that come at us daily. When you know that you can give love to yourself, you move in the world differently as a woman. Self pleasure makes us more comfortable in our beautiful bodies. Whoo hoo!

If you’re still asking, “Why masturbate,” maybe you weren’t listening–but I’ll give you one more as a bonus: masturbating can relieve some menstrual cramps. SAY WHAAAAT?! Yup. Your crappy cramps could be out the door. And if that’s not reason enough, I don’t know what would be!

Have you ever wondered about masturbation or asked yourself, “Why masturbate at all?” Do you think masturbation is good for girls or kind of uncomfortable? Tell me everything in the comments!

Want To Know About Discharge? Here’s The, Um, Scoop . . .

Like this, except WAY less clothes! | Source: Shutterstock

But there’s one very important “rite of passage” that all girls seem a little hesitant to talk about out loud … that’s right ladies, I’m talking about watching porn. And these days, with online porn so easily accessible, it’s a much easier rite of passage to . . . pass!

I don’t know why but it seems like guys can get away with everything way easier than us girls can. Am I right? They can sleep with a bunch of different chicks and get high-fives from their friends the next day; but if we do the same thing, we’ll probably be criticized and looked down on.

At my high school people sort of had the same thought process when it came to watching online porn. Guys could watch it and it was fine, but if a girl said she watched porn, then she was totally the modern day Hester Prynne (Scarlet Letter, anyone?) and would be the subject of a week of gossip, for sure.

For me, the thought of girls and guys getting naked and down and dirty on camera and then showing up on some online porn site was insane, but for some reason, the fact that it was kind of taboo made me want to watch it even more. So I decided, I was going to do it; I was going to secretly watch porn.

Oh HELLO lover! | Source: Shutterstock

Then, I typed into the Google search bar that sinister four-letter word. P-O-R-N. (It was my first time, what do you expect?) I sat there on my bed for a minute, frozen with anticipation. An Internet, full of online porn videos and pictures of people getting it on for my personal enjoyment was just a mouse-click away . . .

Click. An endless list of sites emerged on my computer screen; I chose the first. Immediately, pictures of naked, contorted bodies doing things I didn’t even know existed, filled the screen. Sex ads were popping up every second, getting progressively more disturbing. All I could think was “MAKE IT STOP!!!”

After I quit hyperventilating, I eventually cleared out all of the advertisements until I got to the original online porn site that I had wanted to look at. Yes there were naked girls, yes there were naked boys, yes they were having sex, yes they were doing just about everything in the book. And yes I kind of liked it.

You can even get nail polish ideas from porn! | Source: Shutterstock

That was my first time watching porn, but it definitely wasn’t my last. I can honestly say, while some things porn-related things are definitely not up my alley, most sites also offer “porn for females” sections that are fun to watch, but can also teach you things about sex! (So if you’re curious, check those out first!)

So basically, I’m not saying “GO WATCH PORN, IT’S AWESOME,” but I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that all girls should avoid, either. Watching online porn isn’t for everyone, but it’s definitely one of those rite of passage milestones that I’ll always remember.

Have you ever watched online porn? What do you think about it? Do you think porn is healthy and fun or kind of a bad thing? Tell us in the comments!

This Girl LOVES Porn. I Mean . . . Loves.