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This week on the message boards, y’all are talking about signs that he likes you. There are a lot of ways to tell, so let’s see what you had to say first.

Nessinha said:
“It usually depends on the guy and his personality. In general you could try looking for these: – he looks at you a lot; maybe turns away when you catch him looking or holds your stare. sometimes he might just try not to look at you and it gets too obvious because he will look anywhere but directly at you – he smiles a lot at you or at the things you say – he teases you and makes fun of little things, but isn’t aggressive about it. – he may try to get your attention by talking louder and laughing a lot when you’re in view – he’ll find excuses to touch you or to get close to you in various occasions – his friends might look at you a lot too.”

MEEE888 said:
Look at his body language. When talking to him pay attention to his eyes if his pupils become bigger it means that they like what they see. Also, if you two are sitting next to each other look at his knees, if they are pointed towards you it means that he is interested in what you have to say. And with some guys when you see them with there hands in there pocket it is kind of an instinct, and they are basically pointing at their **yoohooo** if that makes sense to you in a way. If they seem to be bored, and this is kind of iffy, possibly not because they would be interested in anything you have to say.. If they make an effort to get to you then they could. But sometimes it could just mean that they are really friendly so don’t automatically assume.

sanvean17 said:
“If his girlfriend hates you.”

Okay, I wouldn’t say that if his girlfriend hates you it means that he likes you. And if he has a girlfriend, he’s off limits! I just had to address that.

Yes, there are a lot of ways to tell if a guy likes you! But mostly, it does depend on the guy. If a guy is going out of his way to talk to you and be around you, it’s a pretty safe bet that he’s interested. Body language can be a good identifier, but it’s not always accurate. Some guys are really touchy and others aren’t so you have to use your judgement.

Some guys are shy and might not give you a lot of signs that they like you, while other guys might be really flirtatious so it can be hard to tell. But from my experience, if he always wants to be around you, constantly talks to you (whether texting or otherwise) and always asks you to hang out, he’s into you.

And if he asks you out or makes a move, well then you know he likes you as more than a friend!

What do you think are signs that he likes you? Do you have any specific ways to tell? Tell us in the comments!
 

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She was wearing leggings, a tank top and a flannel button down. For the record, it doesn’t matter what she was wearing. She could have been wearing a see through dress and that comment still would have been so completely out of line. The officer’s comments were so wrong and inappropriate.

Fortunately, the TSA and LAX authorities are working with Mr. and Mrs. Frauenfelder and launching an investigation due to this horrendously bad behavior. A friend, Maureen Herman, wrote a response on Facebook, “‘Cover up’ is a dangerous cultural attitude that fuels more than rude comments. It’s the foundation of the oppression of women, rape culture (‘she was asking for it’), and the drive for reproductive control of women’s bodies.”

The agent said “cover up” in regards to this outfit. Really? Source: Boing Boing

I couldn’t agree more. No matter what a woman wears, it does not give anyone the right to harass her or tell her to put on more clothes. It is a terribly dangerous attitude and quite frankly, it’s really annoying.

This weekend, I wore one of those American Apparel bodysuits that has a mesh insert with some flowy pants. It’s not any more revealing than many of my v-neck shirts or low cut tops. And yet when I wore that out, people felt the need to comment. While walking down the street I had men shouting “BOOBIES!” at me like they were small children who just discovered the word “boobs” for the first time. I had girls who were with their boyfriends mumble rude remarks under their breath as I walked by.

And you know what? I wasn’t “asking for it.” I wore an outfit that I felt great in and that is no reason for anyone to harass me for it. I, like this 15-year-old girl, wore outfits that we wanted to wear. She apparently was not wearing enough while I, according to a lot of gross guys I walked by, should have taken more off.

I am so sick of this kind of behavior. What someone wears is their choice. I have never yelled at a stranger regarding their fashion choices except to ask where they got their outfit because I really liked what they had on. Why do people believe they have the right to tell someone what they should or should not be wearing?

It’s disgusting that now, in 2013, I can’t walk down the street in an outfit that I love without someone making a comment. Or that in 2013, a 15-year-old girl is harassed by a supposed professional for her outfit.

What you wear is YOUR business and not anyone else’s. You are not “asking for it” and you do not need to “cover up.”

So the next time you put on an outfit and worry that people will say something about it, don’t change. If you like it, you should wear it. Period, end of story, BYE.
 
Do you think your outfit means you’re “asking for it”? Has someone ever told you to cover up? Tell us in the comments!
 

Here are some responses to street harassment that I crafted

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The HappyPlayTime mascot!

There are a lot of amazing apps out there (my favorites are currently Candy Crush and Vine), but this new one just might be the best app I’ve ever heard of: it’s called HappyPlayTime and it’s about female masturbation. Yes, you read that right. HappyPlayTime is a masturbation app for girls, complete with games, info, facts and even lessons on how to masturbate. Was this app made for Gurl.com? Because, um, I feel like it was.

HappyPlayTime was created by designer Tina Gong in an effort to get rid of the stigma surrounding female masturbation. Because, as I’m sure you guys already know, female masturbation isn’t something that everyone talks about. While most dudes have no problem talking about how much they jerk off or letting other people know that they just rubbed one out, the same can’t be said for us ladies. TV shows and movies constantly reference guys masturbating or even show scenes of guys masturbating – but how often do they do the same with women? You rarely see that, just like you rarely hear anyone talking about women masturbating.

But, hello – we totally masturbate and we love it just as much as guys do! So why can’t we talk about it? Why is the subject of female masturbation so taboo? Tina Gong doesn’t understand either, which is why she created HappyPlayTime. As the website says, “Loving your body, in every way, is not a sin. No more shame, no more secrets. Happy is on a mission: to free the world from a silly social stigma.”

Tina made HappyPlayTime into a fun, lighthearted app purposely – she specifically did not want any discussion about female masturbation to become too serious. As Tina told Gamification.com, “Teaching an anatomy lesson with a mission to educate about female masturbation is too much of a serious topic when taught in the traditional education model.”

To give off a playful vibe, HappyPlayTime’s mascot is an adorable personification of a vagina (see it?). The whole app revolves around silly little games that are also masturbation techniques. For example, it shows you where the clitoris is and then instructs you to make little circles on it (check out the image below). At the end, you get a “fantastically funny and wacky climax,” according to Gamification. Seriously, why didn’t we think of this app first?

In general, HappyPlayTime makes masturbation fun and easy to talk about. Think about it – talking about masturbation in terms of an app doesn’t seem so scary, right? That was exactly Tina”s point, which I think makes total sense. As Tina explained to Gamification, “If users can pick up the game, play it, laugh and share it with their friends, then the inherent taboo surrounding the conversation about female masturbation has been lifted; you don’t need to bash your beliefs over the heads of your players in order to make a point. By representing the whole process around a lighthearted and comical character and games, the masturbation topic at hand is easier to discuss.”

Another really awesome thing about HappyPlayTime is that it offers up some seriously interesting masturbation facts. According to the infograph on the website, 44.4 percent of women started masturbating between the ages of 10-14-years-old. The infograph also points out that women who began masturbating during adolescence less arousal difficulties and more orgasms during sexual intercourse.

I think this app is really, really great. In fact, I haven’t been able to stop singing it’s praises all morning. As I’ve written about before, I was once terrified of masturbation because I thought it would send me to hell (true story). I know firsthand how taboo female masturbation can be and that’s sad. As we’ve pointed out a million times here on Gurl, masturbation is fun, it’s healthy, it’s normal and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’m all for anything that aims to make female masturbation less taboo, especially if it’s accompanied by a cute little vagina themed mascot.

Unfortunately, HappyPlayTime isn’t available to download just yet, but Tina is hoping for a summer release of an alpha version. In the meantime, you can subscribe to the newsletter to stay updated on what’s going on.

Are you planning on downloading HappyPlayTime when it’s available? Do you think this is a good or bad idea? Do you hate how taboo female masturbation is? Tell me in the comments!

Is it okay to masturbate every day?

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Check out what’s new on our boards! Right now, our girls are talking about if you’re the third wheel in a best friend triangle:

treblegirl3418 said:

“Since I moved to secondary school, I have been close friends with A and L. For the past three years A and L have been my closest friends.

Some background info: I don’t find it hard to make friends as I’m easy to talk to and am friends with pretty much everyone at school, but I do find it very hard to trust people and therefore never really develop trusting friendships etc. I am confident in my talents and abilities, but really shy and not confident in the whole trusting people with my feelings etc.

Since I have trust issues A and L are my closest friends but we are not very close (e.g. I don’t talk about my feelings or whatever with them, I just hang out with them most of the time). I have always known that A and L are best friends, and I’m not apart of that. But they lead me on all the time. Saying things like “Oh we are BFFs!” but then not inviting me out with them ever (in fact I have never been out with them anywhere before). What’s worse is that they have no shame or guilt when they talk about times when they have gone out in front of my face. I feel like they treat me as if I have no feelings (this is true because people have always used me for my brains as I get top marks in school and have been bullied and teased before). I have been the “third wheel” for the past three years because I never knew if I should say something or do something. I stood up to them once and they stopped talking to me for a whole week (just because I showed them that I can stand up for myself and won’t be used).

They don’t seem to realize that there even is a problem and don’t realize how they treat me (I heard them say to each other “Why don’t we ever invite her out with us?” and then brush it off)

I really don’t know if I should stand up to them, talk to them about it or just stop being friends with them. Please give me some advice. All advice is appreciated.”

Got something to add to this convo? Then go for it, girl! Let us know what you think right here.

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Should you sleep with your ex if he comes back around?

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No matter how independent, strong and awesome you are, we’ve all wondered this at least once in our life: What are guys looking for in a girl? Of course, this is a question that will never have a definite answer because all dudes are different and like different things. But that has never once stopped researchers from attempting to find an answer. While these “answers” can’t give us any clues as to how every single male in the universe feels, they can help give us an idea of how the majority of guys generally feel about things… which is sort of helpful, I guess?

Anyway, this survey is one of those ones trying to find an answer to what guys want in a lady and the responses show us some of the biggest turn-off’s for guys. You know you’re curious. So what doesn’t turn a dude on when they’re on a date with you? Too much of, well, anything. Apparently, when it comes to impressing guys, less really is more.

This new research, done by Flirt.com, found that guys really are paying attention to your makeup and clothes and all that. A third of the men studied said they hated crazy dark, orange-looking fake tans and almost as many said that heavy makeup was also a turn-off. As for clothes? 56 percent of men studied said they weren’t into “extreme fashion” (think Lady Gaga or Jessie J). 25 percent of guys said they didn’t like trendy shoes, like big platforms.

So what do guys want us to wear? Over 50 percent of the men studied said that their favorite date look on a girl is the famous little black dress with a pair of heels. 47 percent said they liked the look of skinny jeans with a “figure-hugging” shirt and natural makeup. This one may surprise you (it certainly surprised me, as my boyfriend wouldn’t know the difference between Chanel and Forever 21 if his life depended on it), but 47 percent of dudes look for designer labels on you, although the majority of them said they can’t tell the difference.

Basically, over half the guys studied said they like when girls keep it simple and casual. I guess dudes are into the natural makeup look and classic, chic fashion. Honestly, I can’t say I’m surprised. Almost every guy I know has never understood the trendier things girls wear. And once, when I opted for a colorful eye makeup look, one of my exes squinted at me and said, “Why is there so much… stuff… on your eyes?”

While this is interesting to read and know and all that, it’s not something I would take super seriously. First of all, you should wear whatever kind of clothes and makeup you want regardless of what the “majority” of guys out there think. If it makes you feel comfortable and good about yourself, who cares if there are a few guys out there going, “ugh, I wish she were a little more simple.” Little black dresses get boring fast – be unique, girl!

Second of all, and I know this sounds corny, a guy who is truly into you won’t care what you’re wearing or how much makeup is on your face. He’ll love you for your amazing personality and your super awesome brain. Seriously! I’m very self-conscious about my face without makeup (I know, I know, practice what you preach) and whenever I don’t have it on in front of my boyfriend, I for some reason feel the need to apologize. And he always, without fail, says something like, “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re beautiful either way.”

My point is, dress for yourself. Don’t let studies like this bully you into dressing for guys. Wear what you like – you’re the one spending money on this stuff, after all. If you’re confident and you can pull it off, the right dude will dig that.

Do you dress to impress guys? Are you surprised by these turn-offs? Do you think you have a natural look? Tell me in the comments!

Do guys really want to have sex on the first date?

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And I saw a penis.

A guy sexted me a picture of his penis. Like he looked down and thought, “She would really like this,” took a picture and hit the send button.

Well, I did not. It’s not that I don’t like penises. I’m not scared of them, and they don’t offend me. I just don’t want pictures of them on reserve in my phone! I don’t want to open a text to be confronted with that!

Now, I’m not against sending steamy texts and talking dirty. That’s all gravy. You text what you want. But you have to be sure the person you’re talking to is down for that. A guy has never sent me a picture of his junk before. Never. Not even boyfriends. I really didn’t know what to do.

I deleted the picture immediately and responded with “Um, I’m not really into that.” And left it alone. I think I may have deflated his ego a bit, but I don’t care. It’s not like we were sexting and it escalated into pictures. No. I was completely unsuspecting.

Everyone likes different things. I am just one of those people who does not like getting pictures of penises. It doesn’t do anything for me, and I’d prefer to not have nude pictures hanging out (pun intended) in my phone.

I could tell he was trying to steer the conversation back to normal, but I don’t think I’ll be talking to him anymore. I mean, what are you supposed to do in that situation?

Have you ever had a guy surprise you with a picture of his penis? How did you respond? Do you like getting penis pictures? Tell us in the comments!
 

Speaking of pictures, your Snapchat photos are getting leaked!

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The thing is, now when I break up with someone, it’s done. I’m someone who needs to cut off contact or else I end up diving into this on-and-off cycle. After having two very long on-and-off relationships, I just can’t do it again. It’s too difficult.

But this guy wanted to be friends and still act buddy-buddy. Which was fine until I realized that I just can’t do that. Why, you ask? Maybe because I’m surrounded by social media and am getting bombarded by him ALL THE TIME.

I love social media, I really do. I just don’t want to see the guy that I want to be with all up on my Instagram and Twitter feeds when I’m trying to get over him. I was doing okay for a while because we weren’t talking that much anymore. But little by little, we’re communicating more. Or rather, he’s “communicating” with me.

He sends me Snapchats of things he’s doing and tweets at me, but then doesn’t want to have an actual conversation. And I’m here like “Helloooo why are you doing this to me?!” It’s like he knows when I’m about to get over him and then he’s all NO JK COME BACK. It’s really frustrating.

Back in the day when all of this social media didn’t exist, I found it much easier to avoid contact with people. I know I could easily unfollow him or unfriend him or whatever, but it seems really harsh to do that. He didn’t particularly do anything like one of my exes that I had to block from Facebook. The timing just wasn’t right. We don’t have ill feelings toward each other.

I just miss his face. And it’s really hard to move on and want to give other guys a chance when I’m seeing his face pop up on my phone because he won’t let me go. I really don’t know what to do.

Should I just remove him from all social media accounts? Should I talk to him about it? If I talk to him, how do I even bring it up? I feel so confused in my brain, heart and feels. HELP ME! Tell me what you think I should do in the comments!
 

At least I don’t regret hooking up with him

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This week on the message boards, you girls are talking about what to do if your boyfriend isn’t great in bed because he only pays attention to himself so you end up faking it.

Let’s see what y’all had to say!

Nobody said:

It is a big deal, I’d seriously talk to him about it and tell him where you’re coming from. And I hate to say it but if he’s not willing to take the time to please you he really can’t be that great of a guy and care about you all that much (speaking from experience). Tell him something like “How would you feel if I got off all the time and you never did and when you got upset I just told you to go ‘masturbate’” and just see how it goes.

S0Exciited said:

My main advice to you is never fake it again. Your boyfriend is a selfish lover, and you aren’t making things any better by faking it and keeping your mouth shut. A silent lover is an unsatisfied one. Tell him he isn’t satisfying you because he’s not trying! He needs patience.

mandakim said:

If he can’t be bothered pleasuring you now, imagine how he’s going to be when/if you get married. Do you want to spend the rest of your life being literally used for his pleasure and him not giving a rats about yours?

He doesn’t need to “change a little”, he needs to “change a LOT” and needs to understand how important it is for BOTH of you to enjoy sex. It’s a two person activity. Make sure he knows that, and if he doesn’t care or cant be bothered changing, dump him! There a lot of guys out there who WILL care about your pleasure and make sure you both enjoy the experience.

It totally sucks when you aren’t having good sex with your boyfriend. But you absolutely need to speak up! Faking it is the worst thing you can do. He’s just going to keep doing the same thing since he thinks he’s getting it right!

If your sex life isn’t what you want it to be, you have to say something. You have to tell your partner what you want! You don’t have to tell your partner that they suck in bed, but just explain what you like and how you want things to be done. Let him know “I really like it when you do this,” or take a different approach and ask if y’all can try something new.

Sex is a two-way street. If your partner doesn’t know what you like in bed, there’s no way that they’ll be able to please you. Before you have sex again, sit your partner down and talk about it. Having an open dialogue about sex will also make things much better between you two.

Have you ever had a partner that was just no good? What did you do? Tell us in the comments!

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Am I going to be alone forever?

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This week on the message boards, you girls are talking about if you’ll be alone forever if you’ve never had a boyfriend or never been kissed.

Let’s see what y’all had to say:

flamingoccm said:

Plenty of girls don’t date in high school. You can’t “get” a guy to like you. It’s not something you force. You need to be yourself and maybe even put yourself out there. If you’re interested in a guy, try to actually let him know. You’re also not going to date every guy you talk to. It’s possible those two guys just saw you as a friend and nothing more. Maybe it’s them, and they just weren’t interested. Or, maybe you’re just not conveying that you would give them a chance.

Wolf-Fire said:
Plenty of people don’t do any of that stuff until later in life. Don’t use any of that as a barometer on whether or not you will be alone forever. You have a lot of life left to live, you know.

Nevalyn said:
Your life does not end when you graduate high school.

And you are probably right, you’re probably not their type. But that’s really nothing to be bothered by. You’re not the only diamond left in the world that everyone has to love and admire. There are billions of people in the world, your town… is not the universe. In order to find the right guy, you have to meet a crap ton of men. The more you meet, the greater your options. You need to go out there and make yourself available and look for those that find you to be their type.

Don’t stress it. If you keep complaining, people will notice. And no one likes someone who doesn’t like themselves.

I totally remember having the “I’m going to be alone forever” feeling. It’s awful, and you can end up feeling completely worthless. But I promise, you are not alone in feeling this way!

Seriously, everyone has this moment in life, maybe even more than once. You are not going to end up alone forever. When I was in middle school, I was convinced that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life with like a million cats. But I’ve gone on to have three serious relationships and casually dated lots of other people since then.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the alone feeling when you’re stuck in it, but the important thing to remember is to always be yourself. You can’t let someone else in until you’re comfortable with who you are first. I would take this moment of loneliness to really figure out you and figure out what makes you happy.

And don’t be afraid to put yourself out there! Just because guys aren’t asking you out left and right doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Maybe a guy is too shy to talk to you! If you don’t take a chance to get to know people, they’re not going to know how amazing you are.
 
Have you ever felt like you’re going to end up alone forever? How did you deal with that feeling? Tell us in the comments!

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sunshine_sun said:

So I go to an all girl school. I don’t know if I should come out because some girls will find it creepy, and my friends probably won’t want to change in the locker room if I’m there anymore. What should I do?
 
 
 
 
 
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Which two celebrities are on your hookup list?

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