This won't be cute after five minutes. Seriously. | Source: Shutterstock

Babies are pretty cool. They’re usually happy to see you, they’ll always love you, and they’re super cute! But that doesn’t mean having a baby right now is a good idea. In fact, as a teen, it’s normally a pretty bad idea.

First off, babies are freakin’ expensive. We’re  gonna throw some numbers at you: 80 percent of unwed teen mothers have to go on welfare to support themselves and their babies. Having a baby makes going to school and/or work a lot tougher. Plus, it’s harder to get a good job considering only one-third of teen moms get a high school diploma. And with the economy being so rough that people with college degrees often work minimum wage jobs, you can’t even imagine how hard it’d be to get work with limited availability and limited education. And continuing on with your education is tough too–only 1.5% of teen moms go on to get a college degree. It’s a pretty vicious cycle, and it’s one best avoided completely.

Then there’s the emotional toll having a baby will take on you. You can pretty much say “peace out” to hanging out with your friends, going to the movies on a whim, or taking a spontaneous weekend road trip with your girls, because you’re going to need to hire a sitter–which usually costs money that most teen parents don’t have. It may be harder for you and your friends to relate to one another, because when they’re talking about who’s wearing what dress to prom, you’ll likely be stressing about onesies and Desitin.

And don’t even think that having a baby will keep your boyfriend around. In fact, stats show that he’ll probably bounce–8 out of 10 guys who get a teen girl preggers don’t marry her.

Additionally, you can bet having a kid–or even just announcing that you’re pregnant–will cause a big strain on your relationship with your parents. Your having a kid likely isn’t their fault–but it will inevitably become, at least in part, their problem. And that’s not really fair.

This won't be cute after five minutes. Seriously. | Source: Shutterstock

Oh, and dude, let’s not even get started on how gross diapers are. Do you really want to be responsible for something that poops up its own back? I sure don’t…yet!

Don’t believe us? Well, you can take a dry run at parenthood and see for yourself. You and your pals can test out DoSomething.org’s The Pregnancy Text for a day and see how having a rugrat of your own affects you. You’ll get text messages throughout the day that mimic taking care of a kid. It’s a wake up call for sure–and it’s only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the drama a real baby would bring you. What we love about this program is that it’s geared to girls and guys. So many teen pregnancy campaigns only target girls and we all know, boys make babies happen just as much as girls do. In addition to a hard taste of parenthood, participating will enter you to win a $2,000 scholarship to college. Teen pregnancy awareness and money for school, thanks DoSomething.org!

Having a kid when you’re still one yourself limits so many fun and exciting opportunities that you’d otherwise have. You have your whole life to get pregnant and start a family. It’s worth the wait to enjoy your youth while you can–and thankfully, a lot of teens are catching on, because the U.S. pregnancy rate is the lowest it’s been since 1940!

If you’re looking for someone who will always be happy to see you and drool on you (and that won’t talk back in its teenage years), your best bet now is to get a puppy–and use protection.

Have you ever thought about having a baby? Would you want to be a teen mom despite all the risks and hardships? Tell us in the comments!

What do girls like in a guy? Apparently, this--but only at certain times of the month. | Source: Shutterstock

You know they’re bad news. They may cut class, smoke, curse like sailors. But you can’t keep your eyes–and sometimes other body parts–off of them. It’s easy to be addicted to bad boys. And now some scientists think they know why: biology.

A new study suggests that the week before we ovulate, we’re a lot more likely to want a bad boy–a dangerous, sexy, rebel type that we know is no good, like that hot guy who’s perpetually in detention… You know, when he shows up to school at all.

One of the scientists involved in the study put it like this, “Previous research has shown in the week near ovulation women become attracted to sexy, rebellious and handsome men like George Clooney or James Bond.”

Hold up. Let’s be real for a second: Most women, ovulating or not, would look at George Clooney–or in our younger case, Liam Hemsworth or Alex Pettyfer or even Johnny Depp–and want him. They’re beautiful. Case in point: I had a crush on a bad boy that we’ll call Jack Cracker from like, fifth grade up to graduation day. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t ovulating when I was 10. He was just hot as hell to me at the time. And you know what? If I saw him on the street today and he still had that shaggy hair and beyond perfect bone structure, I probably make a go of it, regardless of where I happen to be in my cycle.

Sorry, but we don't need to be ovulating to want this. | Source: Shutterstock

So how did this study work? Researchers had women look at online dating profiles of hot “bad boy” types and of good, reliable guys during different times of their menstrual cycle. The women were asked to pretty much rate the dudes as how good they’d be as providers and dads. What happened? “Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads,” researcher Kristina Durante said. “When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right.”

Or maybe Mr. Wrong just tends to be better looking than Mr. Right. What do girls like in a guy? Probably the same things guys like in Megan Fox: good looks, even if it means a potentially crappy attitude. Plus, who’s to say a hot guy wouldn’t make a great dad? He’d at least make really cute kids. And one more thing: Is it delusional to think a “bad boy” could commit to you–or just confident, since you know you’re worth it?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch Cops to see if I can find my next boyfriend.

Why are they so weird around their buddies? | Source: ShutterStock

This is an easy one: we act immature with our friends because guys are immature!

Well, okay, there’s more to it than that…

Although girls generally begin the process of puberty at the average age of 10 or 11, boys don’t start until 12 or 13. Girls reach reproductive maturity within four years of puberty’s onset, while boys continue to grow for about six years after their initial physical changes. The rate at which we physically mature also affects the way we think, behave, and of course, interact with the opposite sex.

Guys can continue to lag behind women beyond puberty, celebrating inappropriate fart jokes well into their 30s (I can say fairly confidently that this writer will be one of those men). Meanwhile, because females have a specific biological window during which they can have children, women are more likely to be ready for serious relationships before men are.

It's okay if he acts like these guys once in a while. | Source: ShutterStock

Reinforce these discrepencies with plenty of cultural influences (has there ever been a TV show more frightening for dudes than Bridezillas?), and it becomes less cool for a guy to get tied down. The younger (or less mature) the guy, the more easily influenced – and therefore, cavalier about your relationship – he might be when around friends. In a nutshell, your boyfriend is likely masking his vulnerability, and the fact that he actually loves you lots.

Of course, he might also just have other interests with his friends that you two don’t share. If so, let him re-enact scenes from Jackass with his buddies; ignore his descriptive stories about flaming dog poop. But be sure to lay the smack down when you feel he’s out of line: don’t ever let him disrespect you in private or in public. And if he can’t learn from his mistakes, call one of your girlfriends up to make your own Jackass video by kicking him to the curb.

Good luck!
Ethan

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him at askaguy@gurl.com!

Find out how to get your dude to spend more time with you without looking needy

Source: WENN

The other day I tried to explain to my mom the social gravity of what happens when you unfriend or unfollow a guy.

“So you guys aren’t friends on Facebook, can’t you still hang out in real life?” she asked innocently. Ha ha ha, moms, amirite? I told her that NO under no circumstances would be anything other than searing arch enemies from here on out.

I don’t know about you, but it seriously pains me to have to unfriend or unfollow a guy I like. But sometimes, their douchebaggery leaves you no choice. Case in point: Rihanna, who unfollowed her uber-awful ex Chris Brown after he rapped about “smashing her like a pumpkin.” At least I think that’s what it said, I don’t really speak thug but apparently RiRi thought it was pretty offensive too because she nixed him from her Twitter list.

While the dudes in your life hopefully aren’t this horrendous, here’s a handy dandy guide to help you figure out when to hit the romantic delete button.

When He Publicly Disses You

Life is hard enough without having some jackass pop up in your news feed reminding EVERYONE about how you tripped down the stairs at last night. Yeah, maybe teasing you is a way of flirting, but if your gut tells you that um no, he’s actually just being kind of a jerk, nix him.

Source: WENN

When You Realize You’re Obsessing Over Him
Once upon a time Facebook should’ve just been called MarcBook because I used it exclusively for spying on my crush. I agonized over every new wall post or comment like—what did they mean?!?!—until it dawned on me that I’d gone from smitten to stalker. Get a grip, put your own sanity first, and take him out of your feed.

When He’s Offensive
Kim Zolciak and Beyonce gave me my new fave phrase, “Show your ass.” It means that you revealed your true self, and it ain’t pretty. When a man shows you who he is, believe him. My last crush did this when I caught him tweeting something creepy to a porn star (yeah Matt, I caught that) and I realized that this was probably the tip of his unappealing iceberg. UNFOLLOW!

When He Posts About Other Girls
Once upon a time I was BBM’ing with this hockey player and was totes going to let him fly me out to see him in Phoenix…until I saw a few tweets about him creeping on girls (his words!) in Vegas. Umm yeah, I know we’re not married or anything, but at least have the decency to keep that crap under wraps. Any guy who brags about being a sleaze is just that. Blechh.

When He Unfriends You
Gasp! The NERVE! There’s nothing more chilling than realizing that a guy has unfollowed you before you could unfollow him. If you think a move like this could be around the corner, take back your power and beat him to the punch!

Have you ever had to unfriend or unfollow a dude? What did you think about Rihanna unfollowing Chris Brown? Tell me everything about your digital disses in the comments!

Would You Put Your Relationship Status On Facebook?

Somebody should have told Mariah about her camel toe! | Source: WENN

When I was a kid my mom put me in gymnastics classes with hopes that I would be the next U.S. Olympian in ribbon dancing or something. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but something else did… I learned of the infamous camel toe. For some reason it seemed like the older girls who were actually (unlike me) really serious about the sport and had been doing it for a long time had just never gotten around to buying new leotards as they got older. The girls got bigger and those pesky little leotards just stayed the same stinkin’ size.

Those older girls would walk by in a single file line heading to the vault or the high beam or who even knows but they all had something in common—something a little weird looking going on down there. I noticed it immediately. Seriously I’m not being dramatic, this repulsive image is scarred in my brain. It looked like leotard was, for some reason, much tighter in the middle area of their lady parts and looser on the edges. Which basically…. Made it look like their lady parts had been split in two or something!

Obviously, I had to ask my mom (since we didn’t have Gurl at the time) about my big “discovery” of the day and that’s when I learned that the official name for the abomination was “Camel Toe.”

Let it sink in for a second, ladies. I bet you’re starting to understand where the name came from… yes, it’s disgusting. I can bet you a ton of money that no girl in her right mind wants to walk past the dreamy person of her dreamiest dreams with a crotch disaster like a camel toe. I’ll set the scene.

Here's the real deal. Get it?! | Source: Shutterstock

Yes ladies, that is the image that we want to avoid. So, in a situation as dire as this one, there are certain things we’ve got to do to keep our privates well…private! We’ve got to always be on the lookout for hints of the Arabian Desert (camel joke? ehh nevermind) especially when it comes to tight fitting pants like hot pants, high-waisted shorts, leggings and even some tight fitting jeans. Before we walk outside in that bathing suit, we’ve got to make sure that it’s not riding up in the front. And by all means, (let’s make a little promise here) if we get a camel toe, we MUST take care of it before someone else notices!

And if you’re walking down the street with a big obvious camel toe, please don’t get offended when I call you out on that atrocious monster. I just saved you from losing the smooching partner of your dreams! You’re welcome.

Have you ever had to tell a friend she had a camel toe? Have you ever realized you had one in leggings or jeggings? Tell me about it in the comments!

Now For A Biggie: What’s Up With Discharge?!

If this new method works, you'll have to blame any craziness on something other than your birth control! | Source: Shutterstock

Birth control can be pretty awesome, whether or not you’re taking it to prevent pregnancy: a lot of girls take hormonal birth control to ease cramps, lighten their periods, balance hormones, or help with acne, even if they aren’t sexually active. And when you’re on the right pill for you, it’s great.

But if you’ve ever tried a birth control pill that made you moody or mopey, you know how frustrating it can feel–because a lot of times, you can’t even put your finger on why you’re so miserable. So you swap pills again and again until you find something that works, which can take a while since you typically have to wait about three months to see how your body adjusts to each one. Annoying, right?

This is because estrogen, the main hormone in most birth control pills, can affect your moods–similarly to how the day before your period comes, a simple (and honestly, lame) Hallmark commercial can make you spontaneously start bawling. It sucks, but soon all these birth control-related mood swings might be a thing of the past.

Here’s why: A new birth control is being developed that may not make you feel so whacked out all the time. Docs in the U.S. and a few other countries are working on a new vaginal ring (like the Nuva Ring) that will prevent pregnancy and possibly lighten your period. And here’s the kicker–the ring they’re testing doesn’t have the estrogen or progesterone that pills have, so it may be less likely to make you weepy, whiny, or grouchy!

The ingredient they’re using instead of traditional hormones is called ulipristal acetate (UPA), the same stuff used in ella, which is an emergency contraception pill. This is not to be confused with the “abortion pill,” which is Mifeprex–they work a lot differently. Most forms of emergency contraception release progestin, which, like birth control pills, “tricks” your body into thinking you’re already preggers. Ella works a little differently because it instead suppresses the hormone progesterone, which delays ovulation for five to seven days. This gives sperm, which can live in your uterus for about a week, time to die before an egg is released, making you a lot less likely to get pregnant. It won’t work if you’re already pregnant!

That said, docs want to see if continued low doses of UPA can prevent ovulation, too. Bonus? Other estrogen-related side effects, like headaches or sore boobs, are a lot less likely if this stuff turns out to work.

The new ring is still in the trial stages, so it will probably be a while before we can buy and try it for ourselves. But we’re just stoked to know that they’re working on this! Now if you’ll excuse us, we have some card commercials to cry over.

Has your birth control ever made you moody? Have you ever had to change birth control pills because they made you feel nuts? What birth control are you using now? Have your birth control’s side effects ever made you stop taking them? Tell us in the comments!

Need To Get On Birth Control? Here’s How

Oh. My. God. | Source: ShutterStock

If there’s one thing girls can always bond about, it’s an embarrassing hookup story. Trust us: we all have them. So don’t be shy! Read this OMG reader hook-up confession, and then send your own to confession@gurl.com.

I love getting oral sex. And I really don’t think my boyfriend minds giving it! One day, we were hooking up and things started getting pretty intense, so we moved into him giving me oral sex.

In the middle of the whole thing, I FARTED! It was so embarrassing and was a total turn-off for me. My boyfriend laughed but I was totally disappointed and felt so embarrassed.

Do you think you can top this confession? Send your hook-up confessions to confession@gurl.com. Don’t worry: they’re totally anonymous.

This girl embarrassed herself in front of her crush and her whole class

Don't let him get you down! | Source: ShutterStock

I’m sorry to hear about your crush! But, I have some good news: this week, not only are you getting advice from me, but I’ve also enlisted the help of super-awesome Pubertina from Shut Up Cartoons to give you some advice. Check out what she has to say below:

Thanks for the advice help, Pubes!

Okay, Heather here! I totally agree with Pubertina’s advice and just wanted to add a few things. It definitely stinks that your crush doesn’t share the same feelings as you. I know how much you’re probably hoping he’ll change his mind, but if that happens, it’s something that he’ll need to figure out without your help. This is one of those situations where the best thing to do is back off and move on.

Imagine if you didn’t like a dude, and he kept talking to you and attempting to do things to win you over. It would probably get pretty annoying, right? Continuing to be persistent in going after your crush after he’s already made a decision is only going to turn him off. Be friendly towards him if you’re comfortable with that – maybe in time he’ll see how totally awesome you are and realize he needs to date you.

But keep in mind that that might not happen, and that’s fine. You don’t deserve to sit around trying to make some dude fall in love with you. One day you’ll meet someone who will return all of your feelings and more, and you’ll forget all about this guy!

take care,
Heather (& Pubertina!)

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

Need more advice? Get it from this unlikely celeb!

Abstinence is the safest sex--but it's not always the most likely to happen. | Source: Shutterstock

Roosevelt High School in East L.A. is located in what experts actually call a “pregnancy hotspot,” because teen pregnancy occurs is two to three times more likely than elsewhere. With that in mind, you’d think that people would be stoked to have a Planned Parenthood sponsored clinic in Roosevelt High. Though a lot of you aren’t having sex, plenty of you are, so it’s important to have access to contraception, be it condoms, birth control, or, ideally, both. The clinic provides not only access to contraception, but also information–and considering a survey was released recently implying that teens weren’t too informed about safe sex, that may be the most important part of their work.

However, opponents to the program are pissed that the clinic is “normalizing” teen sex instead of promoting abstinence. But here’s a news flash: If enough teens are getting pregnant to make your high school a “pregnancy hotspot,” teen sex probably is pretty normal. That makes it more important than ever to go over the risks of unsafe sex, because people need to know how to protect themselves. While reps for the program say that they do go over abstinence, they recognize and understand that while abstinence is the only 100 percent safe sex, it’s also clearly not very likely. However, if students know about the risks involved with sex–pregnancy, STDs, emotional complications–they may actually be more likely to abstain on their own. And if they’re not, at least they know how to protect themselves.

Perhaps the opponents of the program will stop complaining once they see that it’s working. The year before Planned Parenthood’s clinic came to Roosevelt High, there were 32 pregnancies on campus. The next year? There were three.

More of one may mean less of the other. | Source: Shutterstock

While those numbers are admittedly gradually going up, they’re still far below what they were before the program began. Whether the drop can be attributed to teens having more safe sex or less sex in general, we think Roosevelt High is on the right track. The U.S. teen pregnancy rate is the lowest it’s ever been since 1940, and that doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by making informed and intelligent decisions, whether you choose to have sex or not.

Do you think having Planned Parenthood in schools is a good idea? Do you think having Planned Parenthood in schools encourages teens to have sex? Do you think abstinence-only education is a better bet? Tell us in the comments!

Want To Know More About The Best Birth Control? Yes, You DO!

Is your birth control increasing your blood clot risk? | Source: Shutterstock

Considering a lot of women and girls use hormonal birth control not only to prevent pregnancy, but also for health reasons–it can ease cramps and PMS, lighten periods, balance hormones, and even clear your skin–it’s pretty scary to find out contraceptives might be deadly.

You may have seen commercials touting the risks of Yaz and Yasmin lately, but a new study suggests that non-oral hormonal birth control–things like NuvaRing and birth control patches–may pose a much higher risk of blood clots than the Pill.

What is a blood clot? There are a couple different kinds. The good kind is the blood clot that forms when you have a cut or a wound–the scab that forms and helps the bleeding to stop and the injury to heal. However, there’s also a bad kind that can be associated with birth control. This type of a blood clot is called “venous thrombosis,” which is a fancy term meaning a blood clot that forms in a vein. If a clot forms in a vein, it can prevent blood from flowing to the heart. And if blood stops flowing to your heart . . . you can die.

Taking birth control pills can triple your risk of blood clots–yikes! But their non-pill counterparts may be worse: vaginal rings increased the risk by 6.5 percent, and the birth control patch increased chances of blood clots by eight times compared to non-users.

However, it’s important to note that this is just one study, and outside health factors may not have been taken into consideration. Blood clot risk is a lot higher for birth control users who are overweight, inactive, have a family history of blood clots, or who smoke. And something else to think about? Pregnancy actually poses a much higher risk of blood clots than any and all hormonal birth control methods, so using birth control if you’re sexually active can technically lower your chance of blood clots.

The birth control patch may be more dangerous to your health than the pill... But pregnancy is still a higher blood clot risk! | Source: Shutterstock

Another comforting notion? Only about 1 in 3,000 women who take birth control will get a blood clot. Still, it’s important to stay informed and aware of the risks whenever you’re thinking about starting or changing your contraceptives–especially because blood clots like these have killed some girls. If you’re having safe sex or just trying to keep your period in check, it’s also important to keep the rest of you safe, too.

Have you ever had a blood clot from birth control? Have you ever used a vaginal ring or birth control patch? Have you experienced negative side effects to your birth control? Tell us in the comments!
 
 

Want To Know How To Get On Birth Control?