So, you’re ready to do the deed and you want to be as safe as possible. Good for you! You just have one question: Is a condom enough? Sara’s got the answer and it’s a resounding, “Yes, but…” Probably not what you were hoping for, but it’s the truth. Sara’s got the skinny on condoms, how to use them effectively, and what else you can do to protect yourself when you do the deed.

What kind of protection do you use (or plan on using!) when you have sex? Tell us in the comments!

Want To Talk About Sex Without Seeming Slutty?

Levi Johnston will be a dad again. Doesn't he have another hobby--or access to condoms? | Source: Shutterstock

Following his tumultuous relationship with Bristol (the former couple can’t seem to agree on anything, from whether Tripp was planned to whether or not they were drunk on wine coolers when they first had sex), you’d think Levi was too busy posing for Playgirl and penning tell-all books to handle another kid. Despite his busy PR schedule though, the 21-year-old Levi Johnston will be a dad again, this time with girlfriend Sunny Oglesby.

We don’t know for sure, of course, but it could be that this pregnancy happened because this Alaskan Romeo was too preoccupied to use protection: Levi has admitted that his new baby wasn’t planned, but that he’s “so excited” to be a dad again. He told TMZ, “Things happen and we are both happy with what came of it.” Interesting that these “things”–aka an “accidental pregnancy“–happened, and were announced when Sarah Palin is co-hosting the Today Show this week. Just sayin’!

Here’s the thing, though: pregnancies don’t just happen. They happen if you and your partner don’t take the proper steps to prevent them. Levi’s getting a lot of flack for this, but Sunny Oglesby is equally responsible for her body. (We think the world just figured that Levi would know better from experience by now.)

Seeing as you can’t get yourself pregnant (at least not without lengthy paperwork and a plan), pregnancy prevention and contraception isn’t just up to you–or your guy. It’s a shared responsibility. Even if you’re on the Pill, a guy should still use a condom–it’s the only way besides abstinence to prevent STDs, and it provides extra protection against pregnancy. Plus, sex is better when you’re safe, because you can relax and enjoy it instead of freaking out.

No glove? No love! | Source: Shutterstock

Fair enough, but how can you talk to your guy about safe sex? Check out this video for tips on how to explain to your partner that condoms are non-negotiable if he wants to sleep with you–and that they can actually be pretty fun!

Have you ever been with a guy who didn’t want to use protection? Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Do you think birth control is the responsibility of both partners? Do you think it’s good that Levi Johnston will be a dad again? Sound off in the comments!
 
 

Remember Teen Mom Jamie Lynn Spears? Find Out What Happened To Her!

Taking them every day takes responsibility! | Source

By the time we had a conversation about me being sexually active it was too late; I was a pregnant teen wanting an abortion and only told my mom because I had to.

If you’re even just thinking about being sexually active you should definitely have a conversation with your mom, dad, or parental equivalent about birth control. Just because our parents might feel uncomfortable talking about sex doesn’t mean that we have to. Here’s one area where we can lead the way.

Why it’s a good idea to talk.
Getting on birth control can mean many different things, but if you want to be on the pill it’s best to have a convo with Mom or Dad instead of getting a prescription through sneakier means. This talk can be the bridge to a healthier relationship with your parents. Plus, there’s also the issue of cost. You don’t want to start the pill and then skip because you can’t afford it. Lastly, for safety purposes Mom should always be able to tell a doctor what’s potentially in your system.

You're being responsible just by talking to her! | Source

Pick the turf and invite your most trusted parent.
Instead of just popping into the kitchen or meeting your mom in the laundry room, invite her into your bedroom. You say where and when. It well help you feel a little bit more in control of a potentially uncomfy situation and make the chat feel more official.

Address the elephant.
Feeling awkward? Tell her. Start off by saying, “Mom, I feel so nervous about this conversation.” She wiped your snotty nose and changed your poopy diapers. There’s no need to put up a pretense now.

Make your case.
Sounds hokey, but you can practice in advance what you’re going to say. Be clear, honest and succinct. Just put it out there: “Dad, I want to talk about birth control pills.” Once you just say the words you’ll feel so much better. Then you can really talk.

The real deal?
Your parents are not creatures from another planet. It may have been a million years ago, but they were your age once too; probably feeling everything you feel. At the end of the day, they may not express it well, but all of our parents want is what’s best for us. If your parents wig out, act actually scary, or are otherwise unavailable–talk to another trusted adult, like an aunt or guidance counselor.

Good luck! Just remember that you’re doing the right thing and being responsible–even if it takes your mom a little while to see that.

Have you had “the talk with your mom about birth control? How did it go? Tell me everything in the comments!

Worried About Going To The Gyno? These Tips Will Help!

What should you do when your partner doesn’t want to use a condom, but you do? Lena guides you through this touchy situation with reminders on why condoms are non-negotiable and how to keep safety your number one priority. Safe sex is the sexiest kind of sex. Take Lena’s tips on how to have safe sex, and you’ll both be happy you did!

Sandra Fluke was called a "slut" for speaking out about the health benefits of birth control. | Source: thegrio.com

The name Sandra Fluke has been floating around the media like crazy lately — and so has the word “slut,” thanks in part to the Blunt Amendment (more on that here), and mostly due to some disgusting, sexist comments from notorious radio personality Rush Limbaugh. For real–since he started his idiotic tirade, the word “slut” has been used in the media almost 600 percent more.  Classy, no?

There’s a lot more to Sandra than the slut-shaming Rush subjected her to. Here’s the skinny on Sandra Fluke and why she’s a girl we can get behind.

Sandra Fluke graduated from Cornell University in 2003 (smart!), after which she started work helping victims of domestic violence in a ton of ways–including founding her own coalition for their rights. Amazing!

Right now, Sandra Fluke is a law student and women’s rights activist at Georgetown University Law Center, where she focuses on issues surrounding domestic violence and human trafficking. How can anyone knock this girl? She’s a superstar!

Anyway, all the noise about her being a “slut” started last month when a conservative politician in California decided to hold a hearing over whether or not employers (meaning my boss and yours!) should be able to decide whether or not their employees could have affordable birth control. Sandra wanted to testify, but the dude in charge refused to let her. Interestingly? Not a single woman testified at this hearing, which is super odd considering we don’t know of any men who take Yaz or any other forms of birth control!

Sandra wouldn’t be silenced, though. She took action and spoke in front of the Democratic members of the House of Representatives (talk about gutsy!) about why she opposed the bill and why she was in favor of free contraception, including birth control pills.

She cited the fact that as a college student, contraception could cost up to $3,000 a year — and pointed out that without it, many women’s clinics wouldn’t be able to meet the demands and needs posed by women forced to go without them. In the long run, Fluke’s method is a lot cheaper than pre- and post-natal care, let alone caring for a child that was unintended and unplanned.

Sandra also pointed out an important factor that many opponents of free contraception overlook: Birth control pills are often prescribed for medical reasons. They are often used to treat hormonal imbalances, including polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and are often prescribed to remedy irregular or overly heavy periods, as well as dysmenorrhea (painful menstruation), endometriosis, and a slew of other health issues. that have nothing to do with how often or how much a girl gets laid.

Sandra Fluke viewed the issue as one of equal rights for women’s health, not as one of religious freedom. (After all, if someone doesn’t believe in birth control, they can simply avoid using it themselves, right? Let the higher power doing the judging later.)

For all that, we think she’s a hero to girls and women everywhere, but stupid Rush Limbaugh decided that her amazing bravery and smart arguments made her a “slut,” (which we already know is damaging) and said she has so much sex that she needs someone else to pay for her birth control pills. Oh, add to that his totally wacko demands to see videos of Sandra having sex. Really? Seriously?

Should someone like this really have a say in what goes on in your reproductive system? | Source: tokeofthetown.com

Thankfully, most of the public–including the sponsors who pay that jerk’s bills–disagree with Rush Limbaugh, or at least with the inflammatory language he used. Limbaugh himself has since apologized, though only after his advertisers pulled their spots. Does he not understand that no matter how much sex–if any–someone has, they only take one birth control pill a day?

We can’t wait to hear his reaction if and when the government ever petitions to stop covering Viagra. Pretty sure dude will have a serious freak out then!

How do you feel about Sandra Fluke? Do you agree with Sandra Fluke or with Rush Limbaugh? Do you fall somewhere in between? Have you ever had problems getting birth control? I want to know what you really think. Tell me in the comments!

If you think Sandra seems cool–check out more on her philosophy!
who is sandra fluke

We made the same face when we found out she was knocked up -- and that our reproductive rights may be knocked down. | Source: iPosh24.com

Snooki is pregnant? It looks like the Mayans may have been on to something about the world ending in 2012!

The pint-sized Jersey Shore starlet is expected to make an official announcement any minute. Rumor has it that Snooki denied her pregnancy early on in hopes of a big magazine payday, but it’s possible that just this once, girlfriend wanted some privacy–who knows, right?!

On a network that showcase not only her own antics, but those of the Sixteen and Pregnant variety, a pregnant Snooki has some strong implications for the rest of society–and becomes, at least to us thinking girls, a walking (er, stumbling) ad against the Blunt Amendment.

Scratching your head and saying, “What is the Blunt Amendment?” No worries, girl. I’ve got you covered. It’s a bill that conservative politicians are trying to push through that would give all bosses–including yours!–the right to refuse health coverage for things like birth control. That’s right. If your boss doesn’t believe in birth control for religious or “moral” reasons, they could keep it from being covered on your insurance if the Blunt Amendment passes.

Many people are already wishing Snooki had used birth control and not gotten pregnant (mini-bumpits for baby guidettes, anyone?)–but what if she hadn’t had access to birth control this whole time? What if her boss at that T-shirt stand or whatever said, “Oh, I don’t believe in birth control, so Snooki can’t have it, either!” I can’t even imagine the damage to the gene pool if Snooki couldn’t afford the pill. (Then again, imagine the Maury marathons trying to figure out which juicehead was the father!)

But to be serious, this is a serious issue. Many girls don’t use birth control because they can’t afford it. Ideally, if a girl wasn’t ready for a baby and couldn’t afford contraception, she wouldn’t have sex. But let’s be real: this isn’t an ideal world, and condoms can fail.

Why shouldn’t young women be able to make the best choices for themselves without someone else’s religion or “morals” standing in their way? Isn’t it worse to get pregnant and not want the kid? Doesn’t make a lot of sense to us.

These may be a lot more expensive if the Blunt Amendment passes. | Source: rhrealitycheck.org

The passing of the Blunt Amendment would severely limit women’s health–and lead to a lot more girls like Snooki getting pregnant. A pregnant Snooki worries us (what kind of mom will she be?! I mean, even she says she’s not a role model!) but here’s hoping she chose to get pregnant, as is her right, instead of getting knocked up accidentally–like so many women will if this stupid Blunt Amendment passes.

Do you agree with or oppose the Blunt Amendment? What do you think of Snooki being pregnant? Let us know in the comments!
 
 

Want To Know More About Birth Control? We’ve Got You, Girl!
snooki pregnant 2012
blunt amendment

Or is that what HE said?

Here’s a sexy little quiz: You and that super hot guy from History class are finally totally making out. Not just like, kissing, but really really into it. ( I told you this was sexy!) You both want to go all the way, but there’s no condom. When he says he’ll just pull out you should:

a) tell him you’d rather run to 7-11 and get condoms.

b) go for it! You love a man with a plan.

If you answered B, you’re in for a big surprise, girl. Although lots of girls and guys use the pull out method, it’s really not a good method of birth control—definitely not one we’d recommend.

I know, I know, you think I’m being judgy or something, but I’m not. I’m just looking out for your safety and happiness. Here are the facts:

• The pull out method doesn’t protect you from scary STDs like HIV and HPV.

• Most younger guys don’t pull out in time (hello, pregnancy scare . . . or just pregnancy!)

• Even if he does pull out in time, you can get pregnant from his pre-ejaculate, the liquid that comes out of him even before he orgasms. 

This goes beyond my opinion to cold hard science—using the pull out method isn’t a whole lot safer than having unprotected sex without pulling out. So, girls? Be smart. Speak up and keep a condom handy if you’re having sex. For more on making sexy time safe, check out our Complete Guide to Birth Control.

What kind of birth control do you or will you use? Tell us in the comments!
pull out method

Their jar? Overflowing.

So, there’s this incredibly gross blog, called 100 Red Flags, where a couple of nobody douche-bags are listing the worst “red flags” that make a girl un-datable. The whole thing is idiotic, and if these guys were lucky enough to be dating anyone when they started their project, my money is on them being spectacularly single now.

Picking just one of their so-called “red flags” to rant about was actually hard (Deep question: In a sea of ass-hattery, who’s the biggest ass-hat?)—but with just a little digging, I think I’ve found the worst offender.

Enter “Red Flag” #31: She carries condoms in her purse.

Yup, apparently, it’s skanky and slutty to be prepared for sex; to want to share the responsibility of safe sex; and to—I don’t know— maybe be a mature, sex-positive woman. Most of the guys I know (my boyfriend included) appreciate when the girls they date don’t act stupid when it comes to sex—and also to know that they’re hooking up with girls who are into safety. A girl who doesn’t have condoms would be the one to freak them out. I mean, does she have unprotected sex or something? Ick.

What's in my bag? None of your stinkin' business!

And, believe it or not, these dudes get grosser. They go on to say that although it’s not okay to carry condoms in our handbags (dude, get out of my handbag!); it is okay for us to have a never-opened, brand-spankin’ new, still-sealed three-pack for their convenience, stowed neatly in our bedside tables.

Is it just me, or is the whole “still-sealed” thing a gross parallel to virginity—that like, they want to “break” the seal and pretend that you’ve never been with any other guy before. I’m not saying virginity isn’t something to respect in girls who choose to wait—it totally is—but it’s flat-out gross for guys to fetishize virginity and demonize girls who’ve had (safe!) sex before.

In a way, though? I appreciate these guys advertising their own idiocy. I mean, I would hate for any of my hot single friends to accidentally hook up with one of them. It’s like their blog serves their own giant red flag, loud and proud for all of us girls to see (and run far, far away from!).

Have you seen 100 Red Flags? What do you think of their thoughts on women? Tell us in comments.
red flags

Size doesn't really matter.