Going through puberty is ALWAYS awkward! | Source: Shutterstock

I was roughly the age that most of my friends got their periods–totally normal–but I still felt like a total freak.

Last week, the New York Times ran a big story about “early puberty,” focusing on how a ton of 6, 7, and 8-year-old girls are starting to grow breasts and pubic hair before the average girl. Overall, the article was packed with information, but I do have one major problem with it–and that’s the term “early puberty.” If a girl is hitting puberty in the third grade, that might not be “normal” compared to the rest of the world, but it certainly is normal for her, and I can’t see how freaking out about it and schlepping her around to specialist doctors will do anything but freak her out more.

Growing up is hard enough! | Source: Shutterstock

Apparently, some parents are insisting on their daughters getting hormone shots to slow down the progress of puberty–but the scary thing is that these same shots that can keep a little girl “little” can also cause things like osteoperosis, a serious condition that involves the weakening of your bones. Is that worth it? I don’t think so, and I bet if girls were given a choice, they’d say they didn’t want the shots, either!

Nobody knows for sure what’s causing really young girls to start developing breasts, but if I know anything about girls, I know that when we start getting breasts or our period starts or–whatever–it’s mortifying, and we just want to be left alone about it.

It seems like there are some things parents can do when their daughters are babies and toddlers that might help prevent early puberty–like making sure their kids eat healthy food without hormones, that they exercise, and that they do not become obese–but once a girl is already hitting puberty, no matter how old she is, isn’t that time to just accept it and try to support her the best you can? I think so, especially since girls who develop early are already at higher risk of having low self-esteem, depression, and eating disorders. Youch! Girls who hit puberty early need extra love and hugs–not prescription drugs!

So if you started developing early, maybe even before all your friends, try not to freak out. It’s actually pretty normal now. No, it’s not super fun to go through all these changes, but we all go through it sometime. You are not alone!

How old were you when you started developing? Did you feel kind of embarrassed about it? How old were you when you got your first period? Do you think early puberty is something we should freak out about? Tell me everything in the comments!

Still Waiting To Get Your Period? Don’t Stress About It, Girl!

Sexual assault is not your fault. | Source: Shutterstock

Reports say that 20 to 25 percent of women and girls will be the victim of some form of sexual assault. That’s one in four or one in five. It could be you, it could be your best friend, your sister, or your cool aunt. The scary thing is, the number may be even higher than that because so many assaults are unreported, leaving victims to deal with it on their own and leaving perpetrators to roam the streets and claim more victims. This makes Sexual Assault Awareness Month in 2012′s theme all the more important: It’s time to talk about it.

Why are girls afraid to speak up? They feel ashamed, they’re traumatized and just want to put it behind them, they blame themselves, or they think people won’t believe them.

Here’s the thing, girls: It is never your fault! Wearing a skirt does not mean you were asking for it. Flirting with a guy at a party doesn’t obligate you to sleep with him. Passing out doesn’t mean you consented. Drinking and doing drugs can blur your judgment and make consent issues very, very dangerous–but even if you’re under the influence, no is no, and legally an intoxicated person cannot give consent. Even saying yes at first, then telling the guy no and having him not listen is considered non-consensual.

Fair enough, but you’re probably thinking: How does talking help? Well, first of all, talking about sexual assault can help survivors realize they’re not alone, and can encourage other girls and women to come forward to report attacks.

Talking about physical boundaries and consent in relationships can help, too, since How do you talk about consent with the guy you like? Isn’t that an awkward conversation that can kinda kill the mood? Here’s the thing: If the guy isn’t a scumbag, it won’t bother him to talk things out with you. Voicing consent lets each of you know exactly what the other wants, so you’re both more likely to have an enjoyable experience–it’s hard to stay in the moment when you’re so worried about where his hands are wandering, and he’s probably afraid of getting slapped if he tests your limits (and, ladies, he should be).

You won't have to stress if you're prepared and know what to do in case of an assault. | Source: Shutterstock

Talking things out can prevent so many problems from occurring–and they can help remedy issues that have already gone down. If partners talk openly about sex and what they are and aren’t willing to do, we can diminish sexual violence. Similarly, if victims of sexual violence feel like they’re not alone, they will be more likely to speak up, which can help healing and prevent their attackers from striking again.

If you or someone you know are a victim of sexual assault, find help here. For more information on Sexual Assault Awareness Month, click here.

Are you recognizing Sexual Assault Awareness Month? What are you doing to mark Sexual Assault Awareness Month? Let us know in the comments.

Need Tips On How To Talk About Sex With Your Partner?

It can be hard to separate the myths from the realities about autism, which has been described as an epidemic. | Source: Shutterstock

What is autism? Autism is a brain development disorder that was originally estimated to affect one in every 110 kids in the U.S. every year, but new reports suggest that the actual figures may be close to one in every 88. It’s unclear whether this is because more kids are being affected by the disorder or if there’s just been improvements in testing for autism, which would lead to more correct diagnoses.

Actress, model, and author Jenny McCarthy draws awareness to autism through her work, inspired by her son. | Source: Shutterstock

One common misconception about autism is that autistic children and adults are unintelligent. This couldn’t be further from the truth, as most autistic people have IQs of 85 or above–and many are extremely skilled in math, science, and music.

The increase in autism awareness may be due to celebs gaining attention to the cause. Jenny McCarthy is an outspoken advocate for autism awareness, and other stars ranging from Miami Dolphins legend Dan Marino to Rocky Balboa himself, Sylvester Stallone, have autistic children.

Many speculated that the character Edward Scissorhands exhibits signs of Asperger's syndrome! | Source: Shutterstock

As of now, no one knows what causes autism. (Many suspected vaccines to be the culprit for a while, but that’s since been pretty much ruled out.) For a while, autism diagnoses were only given to those with severe impediments, including speechlessness, repetitive behaviors and social impairments, but since then, the autism spectrum has expanded and includes less severe versions of the disorder, like Asperger’s syndrome. This may be another cause for the growth in autism diagnoses: the number of people who are autistic might have not necessarily changed, it may just be that more people are aware of it now. Sites like The Autism Site also make it easy to donate (for free!) to autism awareness.

Do you know anyone on the autism spectrum? Have you ever had to help care for an autistic person? Tell us about it in the comments!

Some say chemicals in food could cause Autism. What do you think?

Stock up on Kleenex, ladies! | Source: Shutterstock

Before you grab another box of tissues (and some cover-up to hide that red nose!) check out these facts about seasonal allergies:
 

* One in five Americans suffer from symptoms of allergies or asthma
 
* Common symptoms include an itchy throat; dry, irritated eyes; sneezing, congestion, and a cough
 
* Some experts say using a Neti Pot or a saline nasal spray can help reduce the symptoms and keep allergies from causing a sinus infection.
 
* Drinking lots of water can help, too, as it flushes the irritants out of your body faster.
 
* Of course, over the counter medications help, but they can be tricky too. Benadryl will make you drowsy, so it’s not a good choice before class or work; while Claratin and many decongestants contain stimulants and will keep you up all night if you’re not careful.
 
* If your symptoms are really bad or last a long time, make an appointment to see an allergist. They can tell you exactly what’s irritating you and help you put a stop to it!

Now that you have all this allergy information, take care, feel better, and have a happy spring!

Do you have bad allergies? What happens when they strike? Do you have any tricks or tips to share about feeling better? let us know in the comments!

Got a red nose from rubbing it so much? So does this girl!

You don't have to be a brainiac to get good grades, girl! | Source

But before you roll your eyes and close this browser, hear me out: Yes, homework sucks. Yes, studying for tests is not as exciting as texting your friends. Yes, it can feel really frustrating and sort of hopeless when your grades don’t seem to reflect how smart you know you are: so hopeless, in fact, that sometimes it seems easier to just stop trying.

Unfortunately: grades are important. Not only are they great leverage for working things out with parents (a later curfew, car privileges, etc. are easy to bargain for when you have solid grades), but they definitely determine where you go to college. (And here’s the thing no one tells you in high school: college is way, way easier than high school.)

But on top of that, as stupid and pointless as you may feel grades are now, if you actually work towards improving them, and see a result, you’re going to feel so good about yourself. Which is really the best reason to do anything.

At a loss as to how to start working towards that A (or, hey, even B-)? The tips I’ve got for you should get you well on your way.

Ready? Let’s Go!

So, this week, Lena got a message from a girl who asked if it was okay for girls to masturbate. Lena’s response? Hells yeah, it’s okay! In fact, masturbation is awesome. Some people are confused and think it’s wrong or that masturbation is a sin, but it’s not. It’s safest kind of sex (you’re not going to get pregnant or get any STDs!) and a healthy way to explore your sexuality on your own terms. Lena goes on to bust some popular masturbation misconceptions and give you all the info, confidence, and reassurance you need before getting down with yourself.

Do you have a sexy question for us? Leave it in the comments!

What Should You Do If He Won’t Wear A Condom? We’ve Got Answers!

You CAN get through this. | Source

In many ways, hitting an emotional low is just like realizing you were the only one of your friends to get sick on the ride. It’s totally human and normal, but feeling blue can make you feel isolated, embarrassed, and like nobody could possibly understand what you’re dealing with.

But before we go any further, let me just say there’s a huge difference between throwing up (and by throwing up, I mean being mega bummed) and actually giving up or thinking about suicide.

If you are thinking about hurting yourself or anyone else–get help now. Tell a parent, teacher, or call 911.

But aside from thinking about suicide or hurting yourself–how can you tell the difference between having a lousy day and actually dealing with depression? The only way to know for sure if you’re experiencing what mental health pros call a Major Depressive Episode is to see your doctor or a therapist. But if you’re simply not feeling like yourself, there are a couple questions you can ask yourself first:

If you feel like this, you might need help. | Source

Is my mood getting in the way of my life?
Depressive symptoms get in the way of everything: school, social life, work, family—if you’re feeling low enough that it’s stopping you from living the fabulous life you could be living, it’s time to check in with a professional.

What other symptoms am I experiencing?
If you’re depressed, you also notice a few other things are off. You might not be able to sleep or eat, or maybe you’re eating and sleeping more than usual. You could feel exhausted, or have a tough time concentrating on school or work. Maybe you’re feeling more jittery than usual, or like your body has slowed down and it’s tough to find the energy to go about your day. You could be feeling worthless, or start to have thoughts of suicide.

All of these symptoms are serious, and if you’ve been struggling with any combination of them for two weeks or more, you might need a hand to get back to normal. Talk to your doctor–and know that there is absolutely no shame in needing help. If you think your parents might freak and think you’re “crazy,” or think you’re being overly dramatic, talk to a school counselor or school nurse who can help you get the help you need.

The thing to keep in mind is that you’re absolutely not alone. Just like many people get sick on roller coasters, many people get depressed–especially girls, who experience clinical depression twice as often as guys. The good news is that depression is treatable, and things can get a whole lot better. Better to the point where you’ll be smiling again. Promise.

Everyone is different, and a single blog post like this one isn’t a substitute for medical advice. If you’re worried you might be depressed or you have questions about depression, have your doctor recommend a good mental health therapist.

For girls who have struggled with suicidal thoughts, please call a help line like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). I may not have met you, but you matter to me.

How are you doing? Have you ever needed help? Tell me in the comments.

Need More Heart-To-Heart? We’ve Got You.

Some relationships are meant to last forever and others, well, not so much. And by relationships, we don’t just mean the romantic variety. Friendships can have expiration dates too. And when your best friend and you are cruising full speed ahead to Splitsville, it’s not a fun road trip at all. Meg is here to smooth out the ride with five tips on how to deal with a BFF break up. From figuring out if this friendship is worth saving to how to handle your feelings, Meg lets you in on the best ways to deal with a best friend break up.

Have you ever had to break up with a friend? Tell us all about it in the comments!

Want More Advice From Meg? Of Course You Do!

You've got a lot to think about, girl! | Source

From financial aid questions to thinking about taking a year off–we’ve got you covered.
 

Ready for some big time college thinking? Let’s go!

No one’s body is perfectly symmetrical and for some girls, that lopsidedness is in the boobal region. One of those girls wrote into Lena asking if she should tell her guy that her boobs are different sizes before they get hot and heavy. She doesn’t want him to laugh at her mismatched cups! Lena answers with a reassuring “Don’t sweat it!” Lopsided boobies are nothing to worry about and Lena explains why no boy in his right mind would make anyone feel weird about a pair of mismatched boobs.

What do you think? Do you like Lena’s advice? Do you have mismatched boobs? Tell us in the comments!

What If Your Guy Won’t Wear A Condom? Here’s Advice!