Jessica Sager will sleep when she’s dead. When she’s not writing for Gurl, she’s writing and editing for PopCrush and StarCrush, dishing out Dating Rules, performing stand up comedy, flexing, beating you at Street Fighter, or writing bios in the third person. She loves baking, butter, the New York Jets, heights, and anything with an engine. She finds vegetables and flat shoes particularly offensive. Jess graduated with honors and a B.A. in journalism and media studies from Rutgers University, because at the time it seemed more lucrative than studying to be a ninja. She’s currently reevaluating her life decisions and patiently waiting for Gerard Butler to lift that pesky restraining order. You can watch her on YouTube at youtube.com/jethicawethome (language may be NSFW) and lurk her comedy Twitter at @ohheyjesssager.