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Um, yes. We'd say he's into you.
is he into me
As a lifelong dude, I’ve come to a pretty unshakable conclusion on the “co-ed friendship” issue. Once beyond puberty, a guy will only befriend a girl for three reasons:
1) She’s dating one of his buddies
2) He’s already dated her and has since moved on
3) He wants to make out
Let me put it this way: if your male friend isn’t joking about liking you, he might like you. If he is joking about liking you, then he definitely likes you. While you’re asking “Is he into me?,” he’s probably wondering why you haven’t kissed him yet!
But if you still need proof that your friend is into you, there are also some unmistakable physical signs:
You're honestly still wondering if he likes you? Seriously, gURL?
Persistent body contact
Hand slaps, shoulder squeezes, elbow grabs, booty bumps – all are obvious flirtations. Whether subtle or obnoxiously immature, touching is a way of getting physically closer to you.
Random calls and texts
Guys aren’t generally big phone talkers – that is, until they have a cool chick to chat with. I didn’t know how much I liked to talk about shoes and celebrity babies until I met my girlfriend. If your guy friend is calling or texting frequently without any apparent agenda, and the convos tend to ramble on playfully for hours, something amorous is brewing there…
Spending tons of time together
Do you spend more time with him than your roommate or bestie? Has he randomly showed up at your place of work just to “keep you company on your lunch break?” If he’s going out of his way to hang by moving plans around or showing up at the most random of places (e.g. your Twilight discussion group), he is clearly prioritizing you as more than a friend.
All of these indicate a potential pal-crush – detect two or more, and you might just be on the verge of a new romantic relationship!
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “Is he into me or not?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Ethan, email him here or put that in the comments, too!
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Dear Ethan,
Me and my long distance boyfriend broke up around last Thanksgiving. He at first wanted us on a break, however after a few fights, it seems that now we’re more broken up. He still wants to stay friends and we talk all the time. He is constantly teasing me and when we do hang out, he likes to tickle me like he always used to when we were together. He really is my best friend. He is just finishing college and I am finishing my second year of college, but starting this summer he will be 10 minutes away from me instead of 4 hours away. I still love him very much and do want to get back together, but he says he wants to regain the trust in each other back (the breakup was extremely unexpected and hurt me very much) and to be friends again and then after we have our trust back we can see if it ever goes anywhere. So what I want to know is do you have any advice on what I should do to try to mend our relationship? And should I still just try to be his friend for now? And if he gets another girlfriend, should I still talk to him or should I stop talking to him? This is all very confusing…I guess I really need a guys perspective on this!!! Thanks so much in advance!!!
Hey Ethan!
So there’s this guy who I have like for a couple of months, he was in two of my classes last semester but we didn’t really talk but this semester I only see him in the halls between classes and on the bus. I havent actually had a real long conversation with him yet because I get so nervous around him! But when he sits with my on the bus, him and I will play a game on my iPod and once I had an earphone in, listening to music and randomly he reacher over and took it out and put it in the other ear so he could listen too. But when he did that, he kinda slid his palm on my cheek.
He sometimes smiles at me in the halls and my friend says that when I don’t notice him, he usually looks up and watches me walk past. Then other times he totally ignores me.
Maybe I’m looking into it to much because I really like him, but do you have any advice for me to actually talk to him and get to know him? Is there a chance he’s into me?
Ethan,
So there’s this guy I have liked for 3 years but we hardly ever talk and his current girlfriend is one of my close friends. But she doesn’t seem that interested in him but maybe that’s because we are at school. I don’t have any classes with him and I see him in the hall but he’s always with his friends. I text him sometimes but I don’t know what to do now. Please help?
Thanks!
Hey Hannah,
If your love interest is spoken for, there’s nothing you can do but wait for his current relationship to end. You don’t want to get in the middle of that, no matter how lackluster their love may seem. Send me an email at askaguy@gurl.com if/once they break up and I can walk you through the next steps in a separate post. Look for my response here: http://www.gurl.com/author/ethan-fixell!
Thanks for reading,
Ethan
Dear Ethan,
I’m a girl that falls pretty fast, and because of this, I’m generally reluctant to say how I’m feeling – I’ve gotten pretty screwed in the past. That said, I need some advice… my best friend and I have known each other for a couple of years now, but since the new year, have been inseparable. Since the beginning of this month, we have spent every day together, including sleepovers – and nothing has happened. He is everything I have ever wanted in a guy, and I feel that I’m developing feelings for him. Some of our friends have asked us if there is anything going on, and the reply is always the same – we’re just best friends/really good friends – but then he’ll cuddle with me, kiss me on the forehead, etc. I’m highly confused – does he like me ? What do I do?
Hi Rule,
If he’s a straight dude, he’s sending you all the physical signs that he’s into you. Hopefully he makes the first move soon, but if not, you can take matters into your own hands! I know you’re afraid of being hurt, but sometimes you gotta risk a little to win a little….
Let me know how it goes,
-Ethan
Thanks Ethan. We talked about things a little bit, and I came to a couple of conclusions. One, there is definitely something there, and two, he’s just not ready. It came down to the fact that at this point in our relationship, we don’t know anything else but one another. I told him that I don’t know how he could ever come second to anyone in my life, and he told me that he would even go as far as to say that he loves me… but that he would never jeopardize what we have, because he’s never been with someone that he hasn’t eventually hated. Do you have any advice on this?
Got it. Yep, I would give him plenty of space now. Don’t be cold or cruel — be just as sweet and responsive as always when he contacts you or talks to you. But now you should step back and refrain from contacting him on your own, and allow him to come to you for awhile. He sounds confused, and mixed messages will drive you nuts! So try to explore some relationships with other guys in the meantime. If he’s into you, he’ll eventually come back flirting harder than ever, and if not, you guys were probably just meant to be friends!
-Ethan
Thanks for the advice – i’ll definitely take it, minus exploring another relationship. I’m just not interested right now. We’ll see how things go!
Dear Ethan,
So i have this guy friend who ive known my whole life. when we were little kids we used to hang out all the time and as we got older we drifted apart but when i got into highschool we became friends again and over the course of a year we became bestfriends, weve been bestfriends for over a year now and i didnt start off liking him but now i think that i really do, we joke around alot about everything especially sexual jokes and we go everywhere together we hang out alone sometimes but also in groups. wether its in his basement or the movies or just driving around in his car. we talk about everything too life, past hookups, what we want in our future. we do have physical contact, alot of elbow bumping and hip bumping. and when were just chilling out at someones house will cross our legs over oneanother and sit or lie close. i just feel like i get mixed signals some times and idk if he likes me or not.
Hey Sydney,
There’s only one way to know — make a move! If you’re lifelong friends, your relationship should be able to withstand a little experimentation. Worst case scenario, you can go back to being friends! Ask him out — or better, go in for a kiss — and see what happens!
If you need a bit more advice, submit your question to askaguy@gurl.com, and I’ll try to answer it as a separate post. Look for my response here: http://www.gurl.com/author/ethan-fixell!
-Ethan
I really like this guy at my church but hes really shy and reserved, and I want to get to know him but I never get any chances to talk to him, what do I do?
Hi Emily,
Next time you see him after church, walk right up to him and see if he’d like to get a bite to eat. No better way to get things going than making the first move!
-Ethan
when i was walking 2 skool 1 day, he introduced himself 2 me. whenever we talk he lafs at little things i say, that most people wouldnt laf at. is he just being friendly or is it more?? Im so confused, nothin like this has happened to me b4?? Please help ethan.. Thank you
Hey Helen,
I’d guess he’s into you! Ask him out and see where it goes…
Keep me posted,
-Ethan
hey ethan. thanks for the advice but i dont think he’s really that into me after all. when my friends started saying “look who it is” and he found out, he stopped talking to me for a full week and even started walking a different way to school. Oh well, better look next time, i guess
So he said no to Tolo to another girl who is part of a group of girls who dont like me , could I ask him to it or is it too late ? Could he just be playing with me since we have been going through a friends with flirty benefits , how do I know he is flirting for real or that he might be interested in me?
Hey Sophi,
Sorry I’m responding a bit late, but you can still ask him, I think! If he’s flirting, my bet is that he’s into it!
-Ethan
Dear Ethan,
I like this guy who i don’t have any classes with anymore, but he knows i like him because my friend told him. He doesn’t know that I know that he knows though, and my friend told him not to tell me that she told him. i had a musicianship class with him later that day, and he volunteered to be my partner to play the piano for extra credit even though he knew i like him, when my teacher said that a guy needs to be my partner. he seems kind of shy about this stuff so my friends and i think i should tell him, and a couple days ago i went up to him to tell him, and almost did but i got nervous and said nevermind. now he always looks at me when im in the same area as him. what do you think i should do? should i still try to tell him?
Hi Kate,
Sounds like you guys are both a little gunshy! If he already knew you like him when he volunteered to partner up, he’s definitely showing signs of interest. You should definitely make a move.
However, instead of telling him you like him, why not ask him out, straight up? That pretty much says it all AND you’ll get a date out of it!
Let me know what happens,
-Ethan
Dear Ethan,
Last week I told my crush that i like him, but i freaked out after i said it and just walked away. Because I just left like that, my friend said that all he said was okay and then walked away too. I haven’t really seen him around school and he hasn’t come up to me to talk about it. I feel bad for probably making him feel awkward by just walking away, and I don’t know what to do now. What do you think I should do?
Ah, that’s why I suggested asking him to hang out instead of sharing your feelings off the bat. Sorry things got awkward, but you can still salvage things! Now that some time has passed, give it one more shot and ask him straight up for a date. If he’s interested, he’ll be more than happy to get a bite to eat or go to a movie or something.
Good luck,
Ethan
Dear Ethan,
Treigh has been staring at me constantly,everytime i catch him staring at me and quickly looking away,then pretends like hes talking to his friends.Treigh is also everywhere i go,everytime i walk to my next class he is always there.Then when i walk by he always stops and smiles at me,then says hi.Treigh can’t stand me flirting with other guys, not even his guy friends.Everytime Treigh sees me around,his friends tease him and smile at him.Are theses signs that he likes me or is he just messing with me as a joke?
Thanks!
Brianna
Hi Brianna,
All signs point to him liking you! Why not make the first move and see what happens?
-Ethan
I am totally delighted with incredibly blog greatly that helped me! God bless you
Thanks! Glad i could help.
-Ethan
o sorry.. :S
Hey ethan you’re right so here is a more specific explanation
So this guy. A friend of mine also thought he is acting different around me or there is something. But last time in class he could sit next to me but he choose for a friend(girl) 3 places from me. to sit behind another girl (he already knew that girl). But was really enthousiastic about something I did! He said many times wow wow wow en he is still making body contact. And he is teasing me a bit? But I don’t know its serieus or is he is teasing..! But as I said he is still distant! And in a while I will never see him again! So what should I do? In class he is still shy? he is 19 btw Xx
Hey ethan you’re right so here is a more specifiek esplaination
So this guy. A friend of mine also thought he is acting different around me or there is something… Bur last time he could sit next to me but he choose for a friend(girl) 3 places from me behind another girl he already knew that girl… But was really enthousiastic about something I did! He said many times wow wow wow en he is still making body contatact… And he is teasing me a bit? But I don’t know its serieus or not!But as I said he is still distant! And in a while I will never see him again! So what should I do? In class he is shy? Xx
Hello Ethan! Maybe I’ve got a bit weird question. (I’m not english so sorry for my poor grammatic) so I really like this boy. And he makes body contact. But on the other hand he is a bit shy and distant! You know what I mean? What should I do to find out that he is into me or not?
x
Hey Laura,
I’d probably need to know more for an “official” diagnosis, but any time a guy is making continual body contact, it’s generally a sign that he’s into you. He might just be a bit shy by nature, so try to draw him out of his shell!
Thanks for writing,
Ethan
So I’ve had a friend that Ive known for perhaps 3 years we have always been friends. But this year things have begun to change I am starting to get feeligns for him and I think I am going insane because I dont know if he feels the same and I dont want to ruin our close friendship that has developed. People around us seem to be able to see something between us but I just dont know if i should take the risk. We flirt ALOT and we hang out , but our lifes are kinda diffrent and its hard for us to always find time to hang out and I have also noticed that Im always the one who plans our plans ..and when he does Im always busy ( hes asked me to go dancing , the movies , carolign etc but I’ve had to cancel so I think maybe hes gotten the wrong impression ) we have been ice skating I mean we do a bit. But please help what do I do ..what is he doing he has such an amzing personality but he is a bit of a flirt or maybe hes too nice and oh yes he is shy.
Hi Sophia,
If your feelings are growing too large to control, I say go for it! It sounds like he’s into you, and I don’t think taking the plunge will necessarily ruin your friendship, as you say. As I’ve suggested to lots of other gURLs, try making the first move (e.g. asking him out on a proper date, or going in for a kiss) and then step back and let him make the next! If he can’t keep up with you, you can try to move on and put him back in the friend zone.
-Ethan
Dear Ethan,
my friend hunter always teases me and tries to hold my hand, and always comes to my locker to meet up with me, but he says he thinks of me as a sister. Also, he tries to walk with me to my classes as much as possible. Does this mean he likes me? Or is he just messing with me?
Thanks!
Hey Alexis,
What’s with Hunter sending mixed messages?! His actions sound pretty flirtatious, but at this point, you have to take his words at face value and assume this “sister” business is the truth. As I’ve advised many others before, try to spend less time with him for a few days and see how he reacts. If he comes on stronger than before, he might be lying about not harboring deeper feelings!
-Ethan
Great question, Natasha. I know a lot of gURLs would like to know the answer to this one… If you can submit it to askaguy@gurl.com, I’ll try to answer it as a separate post. Look for my response here: http://www.gurl.com/author/ethan-fixell!
Thanks,
Ethan
Dear Ethan,
How can you get a guy to notice you.?
& what are somethings that are the most attractive to guys.?
Thanks!
-Natasha