How To Handle Seeing An Ex In A New Relationship

There comes a moment where you will see an ex in a new relationship. When it happens, you could feel your heart breaking again. All of those feelings that you thought were gone could come back. And you could be filled with a mix of shock, betrayal, anger, and an urge to do something about it.

Even if you already knew your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend has a new SO, it often doesn’t stop the pain of actually witnessing it in the flesh. And when you see your ex looking lovey-dovey with someone new, the surge in emotions might compel you to say/do something. It’s understandable, but you might end up regretting your choices later. No matter how the relationship ended, you want to handle the situation in the best manner. Here are some simple tips on how to handle seeing an ex in a new relationship.


Do Not Do Anything Drastic

I touched on this in the intro, but it's worth repeating. I get that you're hurt and have all those old feelings coming back to you. It sucks, but don't let them win. Try to use your logic to help you manage the situation. Remember that you and your ex are no longer together so what he/she does, it not your business. Even if your ex was a you-know-what, take the high road in this situation. Don't do anything extreme. It will actually end up reflecting poorly on you.

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Resist The Urge To Confront Your Ex

If you consider *extreme* behavior as pushing your ex into a pond or dumping a glass of water on him/her, you might think that confronting him/her would be considered an acceptable thing. This isn't the time or the place. You've likely said your peace to your ex during the breakup. If there are still some issues, now isn't the time to discuss them because you're not going to get anywhere. You'll end up making a scene and that is something drastic. Like I pointed out, this is your ex so what he/she is doing now doesn't matter to you. He/she has moved on so show that you have moved on, too, and aren't impacted by this.

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Do Not Try And Hide If There's A Chance You Were Scene

Some people are confrontational while others prefer to get out of the entire situation. It can sometimes be the less painful option, but be aware that you could be finding yourself in the same situation over and over until you acknowledge it. What's more, you don't want to be hiding or peacing out of a situation if there's a chance that your ex has seen you. It's one thing if he/she leaves, but if you leave after you were there first, it can show that you're not over the situation or can't handle it. Both options might be true, but you don't want to give the game away. So, if there's the smallest chance your ex saw you, don't hide. Go and say a quick hello. That's it.

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Keep It Short And Sweet And Be Civil

If you're not hiding, you're going to be talking. Like I just said, a *hi* is plenty. This is your ex. Even if you're now friends, you don't need to turn this into a catch-up session. Perform the polite, *hi, how are you's,* and introductions then be on your merry way. It's not the time to start spilling about all the fabulous things you've been up to. You might be tempted to do it to show your life is just as good as your ex's. First, it actually comes up looking a little desperate. Second, it's not a good time. If you really want to catch up with your ex because you're friends, save it for another time when there's not this awkward three's a crowd thing.

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Do Not Feel You Need To Prove Yourself

On a psychological level, you might want to prove to everyone, including yourself, that you're the better person here. You're the one who is a better match for your ex and you are superior to this new bae. So, you might try to create a *really* good impression. It's better than getting into a fight, but it's a bit pointless. To be honest with you, you're the ex-girlfriend and your ex and his new SO are always going to have a certain opinion of you no matter what you do or how nice you are. You can still be cordial but there's no need to be over the top. If you're too intense about it, your ex and his/her new SO might think you're being insincere.

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Remember That It Will Be Easier

The first time you see your ex with someone new is always the worst. It will be easier the next time and the time after that. I promise. As time goes on and you each go your separate ways, you might find you're not even bothered by seeing your ex with someone else. Unfortunately, the feelings are something we cannot rush. They happen with time.

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What was the hardest thing about your breakup? Let us know in the comments!

 

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