Sometimes relationship problems don’t actually stem from you and bae. They can be the result of other people. You might be thinking of love triangles and exes. Those can definitely be problematic, but I’d like to put forth another one: comparing your relationship to other people’s.
As humans, we naturally compare ourselves to other people in order to figure out where we fit in. The trouble is it’s not the greatest because in most situations, it makes us feel we’re somehow inferior to the people we’re comparing ourselves to. If you have ever compared your relationship to someone else’s and thought they were the definition of #relationshipgoals while you and bae weren’t, you can relate.
It’s a tricky thing because once we get into the mindset, it can be difficult to stop. In turn, that can negatively impact your relationship. No one wants that. Here are some ways to stop comparing your relationship to others.
Keep The Focus On You And BaeIt might seem obvious, but it needs to be said. You're in a relationship with bae, no one else. So, keep the focus on what you have. When you're concerned what other people have going on in their relationships, it takes away from time you should be spending building a deeper connection with your SO. I know it can sometimes he hard, but put the blinders on and keep your focus on your SO. Image source: Instagram/szkvm02
Put Things In PerspectiveWhen you're comparing your relationship to another couple's that seems perfect, try to look at the bigger picture. How much do you really know about the other couple's relationship? Even if they're your close friends, you don't know everything. You likely only know about the good stuff. You don't know about the nagging, the quirks they do that drive each other crazy, or the thing that they constantly fight about. People's dirty laundry is often kept quiet so we only see and hear the good stuff. Just consider all of the celebs who seem like they have the *perfect* relationships, but we're shocked when they get divorced. Clearly, there are problems that we weren't aware of. It's the same with regular couples. Image source: Instagram/raghav_juyal_786_fc
Use Social Media With CautionAh, social media. Social media and the internet can be great ways to interact, but the big downside is they help curate these *perfect* lives that no one is living, including the people in the photos. If you spend a lot of your time scrolling through feeds looking at happy couple photo after happy couple photo, you will likely get FOMO and jealous feelings. If this happens, you need to realize that this is a snapshot on one millisecond of a relationship. And the couple probably took 152 photos to get it. This isn't what their relationship actually is like. It's the fairy tale version they wish they had. Image source: Instagram/sarahjreports
Become More Conscious Of Jealous ThoughtsNegative thoughts can creep in the most positive people's brains. Sometimes, they can consume us. To prevent it from happening, you need to be aware of when you're obsessing over what other people have in their relationship. Come up with distraction tactics. If you need to say *stop* out loud do it. Or, you can try thinking about all of the reasons you love bae. For more ideas, see the next slide. Image source: Instagram/ro_masvic
Write Down What You're Grateful For In Your RelationshipIt might seem a bit cheesy, but I want you to try it. There is something to be said for counting our blessings and being appreciative. But, it can be less effective for people if they think them as opposed to writing them down. Putting pen to paper makes you concentrate on the task. Plus, you will then have a list you can reference when you're feeling insecure about your relationship. Hang the completed list somewhere prominent in your room, if you want. Image source: Instagram/not_fake_photos
Talk To Your Friends About ItI know it might seem scary to open up to your friends about how you envy their relationships, but you might be surprised what happens when you do. Chances are they will reveal what they envy about you. It will likely spark a conversation that makes you realize you're not alone in feeling the way you do. Not only will it help your relationship with your SO, it will likely help your relationship with your friends. Win, win. Image source: Instagram/owllika
What do you struggle with in your relationship? Let us know in the comments!
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