7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Be Friends With An Ex

When you breakup with someone and it’s not messy AF, you might be hoping this isn’t a permanent split. Maybe you’re hoping that you will get back together. At the very least, you might be hoping that you will be friends with your ex someday.

You and your ex did have things in common and you did have a special connection. And if the breakup wasn’t terribly messy, there is usually enough good stuff there to form a friendship with time. You might think a friendship with your ex is a good idea because you stay in contact and it shows that you’re a mature semi-adult who is capable of being cordial. But, sometimes being friends with an ex isn’t the best idea.

There are a number of positives but there are some trickier things that can arise. After weighing the choices, you will have to decide for yourself what is the best option for you. Here are important things to consider if you’re debating about being friends with our ex.


It Can Make New Relationships Tricky

How do you react when a new bae tells you that they have a close relationship with their ex? Do the alarm bells start going off in your head? Do you wonder what sort of scheme the ex has going on? Are you wondering if bae still has feelings for him/her? Even if you say that you're cool with it, you're probably still worried. Be prepared with the same thing but reversed if you're friends with your ex. Humans are jealous creature after all.

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You Might Still Argue About The Same Old Things

Things might start off hunky dory, but if you spend enough time with your ex, or one of you cannot move beyond the past, you will likely find the same arguments being started. The difference is that now you're not a couple so no one really has to explain themselves. This could make the fights even worse. If it keeps up long enough, you might regret ever giving the friendship thing a chance.

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You Might Develop Intense Feelings Again

Going from dating someone to being friends with them has an adjustment period. The tricky business is wanting to move beyond it and working on it. Even if you only want to be friends, your heart might have other ideas. Can you blame it? You and your ex had memories and a connection and when you see the other person, you will probably think about those things. The key thing is that you react to them like a friend. For some people, that's not possible and they need to have their ex out of their lives.

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Your Ex Might Have A Different Idea About The Type Of Relationship This Is

You might want to strictly be friends with your ex, but your ex might be hoping for a friends with benefit thing. Alternatively, both or one of the parties might be jumping into the friendship in the hopes that it will rekindle the romance. There could also be other possibilities. To prevent things taking an awkward turn later, it's a good idea to talk to your ex and the type of relationship you want. But know that down the road people could have other ideas.

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It Might Cause A Rift With Other Friends

It's not just you and ex you have to consider. Some of your friends might be opposed to the idea of a friendship between you and your ex. I know that it's not right because it's the two of you and it should be your decision, but be aware that it can happen. Things can also get messy if you and your ex are part of the same group of friends.

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You Might Have To Deal With A New Jealous Girlfriend

You likely know how it feels to be on the other side of things. Even if you were in the *jealous girlfriend* role I'm sure that you behaved reasonably and kept your feelings pretty much to yourself. Note that some people aren't like that. There are some people who are very insecure about their relationships so they will do anything to keep them. You also might find yourself getting a third degree and what your intentions are with your ex.

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It Can Open Up Fresh Wounds

If you try to be friends and it doesn't work out, it can leave you feeling like you're going through another breakup. Or, it can make you feel worse because you *couldn't even succeed at just being friends.* You could also be hurt when your ex starts dating again and talks about his/her new partner. There will likely be a time when you see the person for the first time that you get a shock.

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How many of your exes are you friends with? Let us know in the comments!

 

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