Are you the girl who is always in a relationship? Is it something that is well-known among your friends, family, et al? Does it seem like you always end up in a relationship shortly after you’ve ended another one? From the sounds of it, you’re a serial monogamist.
The name might sound a little intense, but it’s not that scary sounding. According to Dictionary.com, serial monogamy is “the practice of engaging in a succession of monogamous sexual/romantic relationships.” If you think the term might fit you and you’re wondering whether you’re in trouble, here’s the deal whether being a serial monogamist a bad thing.
So, I think I might be a serial monogamist. Is it a bad thing?
If you’re heard of the term, you might have some preconceived notions about it. And they might not be the greatest because they’ve probably been exaggerated. (Thank you, pop culture.) Being a serial monogamist isn’t necessarily a bad thing so long as it makes you happy and you’re staying true to who you are.
Why does it sometimes get a bad rap?
Serial monogamists are sometimes thought of as people who want to get married and have eight kids with you the second you get together. If you think the serial monogamist label fits you, you’re probably chuckling at the stereotype. I’m sure there are people out there that it rings true, but generally serial monogamists aren’t that extreme. They want to be in a committed relationship with one person with flowing conversation and connections. They’re not clingy, intense, or crazy.
Are there any times when it’s considered bad?
As with any situation, there are pros and cons. There are some negative aspects of serial monogamy. One is when you get so caught up with the idea of being in love that you don’t actually focus on the relationship you’re in. Similarly, you could be too focused on achieving some ideal that doesn’t exist/isn’t realistic which will inevitably lead to disappointment and your relationship suffering.
Another time it can be problematic is if you jump into almost any relationship because you cannot stand the idea of being single. First, you need to ask yourself why you can’t enjoy the single life. Is it boredom? Do you feel insecure when you’re alone? There could be something going on with yourself that you need to get straightened out first.
Building on this, you don’t want to get into any old relationship. Relationships take work, energy, and love so you want to make sure that you hold out until you find something worthy of your time and love. I know that might sound cheesy, but it’s true. Don’t settle, girl.
How do I deal with the haters?
As with any case there are haters involved, it’s best to ignore them and do your own thing. Some people are into open relationships, some prefer monogamist relationships, while others don’t like relationships at all. You worry about you and what makes you happy. You don’t owe anyone an explanation nor do you have an obligation to make them understand.
I’m worried that being a serial monogamist might scare new baes away…
Look at it this way: Being honest about who you are and what you want in a relationship is actually better. You want to make sure that you’re on the same page as someone in the beginning before you’re six months into it and realize that you’re after completely different things. Wouldn’t you rather have someone know how you feel (and you know how they feel) in the beginning before you find out they’re only into open relationships and that’s a deal breaker for you?
Besides, feeling pressured to change who you are for someone almost never works out for both parties. It will lead to resentment and people wanting to go back to their own ways.
Do you love being in relationships? Let us know in the comments!
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