Should I Break Up With My SO If We’re Not Going to The Same College?

Being a senior in high school is an exciting time. You have less than a year to go at this school then you can go into the semi-adult world where you don’t have to deal with uniforms, rules about chewing gum, and late slips. As great as it is to be the “big kids” in high school, it can sometimes be a bit intimidating because you have to make a lot of big decisions.

Deciding on whether you’re going to college or not is a big decision. If you do decide to go, it’s something that can impact all other things in your life, including your relationships. One big thing that can come up is you and your SO deciding to go to different colleges. If you’re in the situation and wondering what you should do, here’s some advice if you and bae are going to different colleges.

My SO and I are going to different colleges. Should we break up at the end of the school year?

I know that your brain is probably swirling with thoughts about the future right now, but try to control your mind so you can think logically about the situation. It may seem like this could be a time you and bae should split because it seems like your lives are going in different directions, but they don’t have to. Do you want to split up or do you still have feelings and care deeply about bae? And what does your SO want to do?

Also, remember that there’s still the summer. That’s a lot of time that you could spend potentially bonding with bae. Who knows, after that time together, it might be easier to make a decision.

I love bae, I’m thinking it might be easier to break up now instead of dragging things out.

Ahhh. I see where you’re coming from. You’ve probably seen it countless times in movies, read about it, or maybe even heard some firsthand experience about high school couples who try and make it work in college and end up stressed only to eventually break up. That definitely is a reality, but there are also couples who put in the effort and stay together through college. Even if they eventually drift apart and break up, they’re usually glad for the time they had with their high school SO.

Staying together with bae when you’re going to different colleges might not be the easiest option, but it might be the best option for the two of you. On the other hand, you might think the best option for yourself and for excelling in college to be flying solo.

Should I talk to bae about it?

In relationships, both people are on the same team so having a honest, open conversation about whether or not you should break up should hopefully provide some clarity if you’re undecided about what to do. You could talk about things like what type of relationship you would have, how you would make the long distance thing work, and how and when you could meet up. Brainstorming about it will hopefully give you a good indication about how bae truly feels about the situation even if bae has vocalized an opinion.

If bae wants to stay together should I?

That’s great bae wants to stay together, but what about your opinion? I want you to be honest with yourself here. Do you want to continue your relationship with bae or do you want college to be the start of a new chapter in your life? You don’t necessarily have to agree to keep seeing bae in college just because he/she is for your relationship continuing. Agreeing just to please bae will probably lead to resentment and you just breaking up eventually.

Argh! Why is this so difficult?

I know that it’s hard. It would be nice if we had crystal balls and could see into the future to help us make our decision, but alas, we don’t have that kind of *technology* yet. There really is no right or wrong answer. It also doesn’t matter whether you and bae are going to be in different cities, states, or even countries. What matters is how you feel about each other and what you as a person feel like doing. Go with your gut and heart. No decision will easy, but if you try and stay true to yourself, it will hopefully work out. Good luck.

What else about college is stressing you out? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


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