Is It Bad If My Significant Other Doesn’t Want To Celebrate Our Anniversaries?

Are you one of those people where if there’s something to be celebrated, you will make darn well sure that you will have a proper celebration? Do you still get as excited for your birthday as you did when you were a kid? Is Halloween a *big* deal for you? Then you also probably love the idea about celebrating your anniversary with bae.

After all, many consider anniversaries to be relationship milestones. And a milestone deserves some special recognition, right? You could think so, but you might be very surprised to find out that your significant other doesn’t feel the same way. If you’ve got an anniversary approaching and found out bae isn’t interested in celebrating, here’s what could be going on.

Our anniversary is coming up and my SO doesn’t want to celebrate. Is this a very bad sign?

I can understand why you might think this a massive red flag. You might have had all of these romantic, creative ideas swirling around in your head. To hear that your SO isn’t interested in celebrating your anniversary at all can be a major blow and have you questioning your relationship.

Before you go into panic mode, note that this isn’t necessary a bad sign. Did your significant other give a reason why he/she wasn’t interested in celebrating your anniversary or anniversaries in general?

Bae didn’t and I was too upset to ask.

If you want to find out why bae doesn’t want to celebrate, you will have to ask. If you don’t want to ask because you don’t want it to lead to tension/you just want to forget about it, there are some things to consider. First of all, bae might not see anniversaries as big deal. Maybe your SO is one of those people who prefers to appreciate the love you two have every day as opposed to focusing it on one day. Maybe, your SO only sees anniversaries as a thing that married couples or *proper* adults do.

Another thing to consider is whether bae is a celebration kind of person, in general. Does bae like to celebrate his/her birthdays? Does your SO get as excited for Halloween as you? Or, are you the one who encourages bae to get involved and he/she isn’t that bothered about parties? Your significant other could be one of those people who isn’t into parties. Period.

Bae could also be the practical sort and be thinking about the cost of the anniversary and not want you or him/herself to feel pressured to splash out on some special anniversary. He/she might even think that spending a lot of money on anniversaries is tacky and prefer to show how much he cares in other ways.

So, it doesn’t necessarily mean that bae doesn’t care about or relationship?

Remember, that if you want more of an explanation and to find our what’s really going on, ask bae. I can give you possibilities, but it’s speculation as opposed to facts. If you are nervous about asking bae, consider why that is. The two of you are supposed to be a team and be able to discuss things with each other. Are you nervous about what the answer could be? If it’s something negative, you will likely find it out eventually so confronting it now might actually be easier.

Should I do something anyways and surprise bae for our anniversary?

That’s a tricky one. Consider why you want to celebrate. Are you doing this because you think it’s what you should do, because you want to do it, or because you secretly think that bae wants to celebrate your anniversary but is too stressed/clueless/broke/whatever? Try to think about all the factors. Also, think about what would happen if you put time and effort into it and bae doesn’t like it. Would you be glad that you tried?

What can I do?

We’ve talked a lot about bae’s feelings and potential reasons for not wanting to celebrate an anniversary, but I want you to stop and think about your own. Why do you want to celebrate your anniversary? Is it because you love bae and want a special occasion to show it? Do you want to celebrate it as a confirmation of sort for your love for each other, or do you feel pressured to celebrate? There might be a few points that apply.

If celebrating your anniversary is really important to you, you might want to consider talking to bae and sharing your perspective. If you bring up that you’re feeling hurt, he/she will hopefully make the situation better by giving you more of an explanation. You will also want to consider whether you rather be in a good relationship that doesn’t celebrate anniversaries or whether you’d prefer something else.

What do you normally do for anniversaries? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


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