7 Things You Should Never Do When Breaking Up With Someone

Breakups are hard AF. There’s no point mincing words about it. It’s painful when you realize that you two were once so good and now, you’re not connected at all. And the split is hard whether you’re the one getting dumped or the one doing the dumping.

If you have been debating about ending your relationship, and you’ve decided to take things into your own hands and dump bae, there is a right way to do it and a wrong way. I understand that you’re super nervous about things and know that they won’t always go to plan, but there are some key pointers to remember to help make the situation better for everyone.

If you’ve ever been the one getting dumped, you will know that certain things the dumper does can make it so much worse which is why they’re best avoided. Here are seven things you should never do when breaking up with someone:


Lie About The Reason You're Breaking Up

I know that you might have your reasons for lying about why you're breaking up with bae, but it's best if you try and best honest. If the issue is something bae does, it could be helpful to say it bothers you so bae could possibly work on it it in future relationships. If you're breaking up because you have feelings for someone else, it might be best to admit them, even if it is hard. Bae will probably find out about the other person eventually.

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Do It Via Text Message

Girl, I know that it's awkward and painful to do it in person, but it needs to be done. The only exception to this is if bae did something extremely dreadful, like cheat on you with your BFF. In that case, bae probably doesn't deserve your time. In almost all other situations, you should respect bae enough to break up in person. A face-to-face breakup can help provide closure to both parties. Phone calls, texts, emails, Instagrams, etc. are impersonal and unfair. Would you like to be broken up via any of those modes of communication?

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Try To Get The Other Person To Break Up With You

Have you ever wanted to break up with someone, but didn't actually want to do it, so you did things so they would break up with you? Maybe, you had a friend who did it. Promise you will not do it again because it's a bit shady. I know it can be tough to be the person to call time on a relationship, but you should owe it to the other person to be honest and upfront about it. Don't go sabotaging what you did have just so bae can break up with you.

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Give Your Soon-To-Be Ex A False Sense Of Hope

I know that it might seem better to cushion the blow by hinting that you two might someday get back together, but that actually won't help in this situation. First, it will make bae wonder why you're breaking up in the first place. Second, it will likely become something bae will cling to in the hopes that it actually happens. It will only crush him/her more later when he/she realizes you're never going to get back together.

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Be A Jerk About It

Like I said, unless your former flame has done something truly awful, you don't need to be mean or hurtful. Try to keep things civil. After all, you both did care deeply for each other at some point, so try to end things on a *classy* note. In other words, save the rude texts, yelling, and blaming for someone who actually deserves them. Plus, you never know what could happen when you leave things on good terms. You might become good friends later in life.

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Do It In A Public Space With Your Friends

Friends can be great moral support, but you really do not want them hanging around when you're about to break up with someone. They will likely just interfere. Plus, bae will feel very uncomfortable with them there. The relationship was between you and bae so the breakup should be with just the two of you. That's why it's a good idea to do it in a quiet place where you can talk openly and honestly and you don't have to compete with street noise or the waitress bringing your check.

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Do It During A Fight

If you've been considering breaking up with someone, a fight can often be the final nail in the coffin. You might think it's easiest to stop the fighting by saying you want to break up, but sometimes that can make things escalate further. Plus, you might regret the decision when you've taken some time to cool off. If you do want to break up, arrange to meet up so you can talk sensibly without being worked up from a fight.

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What other things should you never do when breaking up? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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