12 Reasons You Should Never Try Bathroom Sex

There are lots of ways to experiment with sex, if you feel so inclined. You can add some toys, try some fancy new positions, or break away from your usual bedroom atmosphere. There are countless creative things you can do, but not all of them are good. Some of them might seem *hot,* but IRL, they can actually be a big letdown.

Car sex is one thing that is over-hyped, and so is bathroom sex. Whether you’re getting it on in the bathroom in your house, or you’re feeling ~*adventurous*~ and experimenting in a public bathroom, it’s all a bit overrated. You might have a fantasy about it being H-O-T thanks to TV shows, but what they fail to often show is why getting it on in a bathroom can be irritating and obviously gross. Take a gander at 12 reasons why you should actually never try bathroom sex.

1. It’s dirty AF.

I might be stating the obvious here, but it needs to be said otherwise bathroom sex wouldn’t have become a thing. Do you really want to get it on in the same place you go number two? Or worse, do you want to get it on in a public place where strangers go number two and do who knows what else? Ick.

 

2. There is not enough room.

Even if you happen to find yourself in the grandest of bathrooms/cubicles, you will still wish that there was more room. Even the simplest of positions will seem like major challenges when you’re trying to get into them.

 

3. Someone will probably get their foot stuck in the toilet.

If you’re forward-thinking and double check the lid is closed, there’s the issue of slipping off the toilet seat. Of course, there will be a time when you’re too caught up in the moment to check if the seat is down. You’ll sadly realize it wasn’t when your foot is in the water. If you’re getting it on in a public toilet, you need to be especially careful because sometimes they don’t have lids and other times they don’t flush properly. *Gags*

 

4. The mirror is very distracting.

The mirror is a hazard in of itself thanks to all of the very breakable glass, but the mirror will also be distracting when you catch a glimpse of you and bae in a contorted position. Once you see that, you will not be able to look away.

 

5. There are so many breakables.

If you’re getting it on a public bathroom, you will have to be careful for the toilet paper holder that is never attached to the wall securely and maybe a changing table. If you’re in a house bathroom, it’s even worse. There are likely perfumes, picture frames, shelves, cosmetics, and that random trinket your mom insists on keeping on the toilet seat. Not only are they a hazard to hookups, you will also have a lot of explaining to do if you break one.

 

6. The walls are definitely not soundproof. 

Obviously a bathroom cubicle has no soundproofing. There are holes up top down below. And you’ve probably used enough public bathrooms to know you can hear everything that goes on in the cubicle next to you. Bathrooms in houses aren’t much better. Closing a door doesn’t mean the place is soundproof.

 

7. A towel rack and shower bar are not adequate supports.

I’m saying this to you for our own safety: Do not attempt to hang yourself from a shower rack or bar, no matter how supportive you think it is. You could seriously injure yourself and/or bae. It’s better to keep feet on the floor.

 

8. Nothing is as secure as you think it is.

You might think that a sink, cabinet, or even the counters that have been bolted to the wall are not going anywhere. Wrong-o. You’d be surprised how easily they can move with just the weight of one human never mind two. Spoiler alert: When those things shift, they can cause a lot of damage.

 

9. Two people are not made to sit on a toilet seat.

First of all, do you really want to sit on a toilet whether the lid is down or open — with your naked bottom? If you do decide it’s the only good spot for you and bae to get into position, you will quickly realize there is not enough room for two on that tiny seat.

 

10. The smell can majorly kill the vibe.

Nothing says sexy like excrement, potpourri, toilet cleaner, and bleach, right? Eh, not-so-much. Remember, that’s one of the more pleasant smells. If one stinky smell dominates, it can kill everything.

 

11. You will be stressing about a knock at the door.

You might initially think that it’s really hot to be having sex somewhere new, but the reality might make you change your mind. More specifically, you’ll be in a panic that someone is going to walk in on you and/or bang on the door and ask what the heck you’re doing.

 

12. You will be too busy thinking about disinfecting yourself to enjoy the moment.

It’s likely that your mind won’t be focused on how hot bae is. You’ll be thinking about how you’re going to get rid of all of the bathrooms germs off of you. Not to mention you’ll be concerned about what those germs can do to some of your more delicate parts.

 

Have you ever had sex in the bathroom? Would you want to? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

13 Reasons Car Sex Is The Worst

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