Let’s get real here: People wear lingerie to look hot, but it’s pretty much instantly discarded because, you know. People don’t wear lingerie because they enjoy spending 20 minutes having bae try to figure out how to untangle four straps from each other so the circulation in your arm doesn’t get cut off.
Somewhere along the way, I think that this message has been lost to lingerie designers. Sometimes, it seems like there is some secret competition to outdo each other to see who can come up with the most complicated difficult-to-get-on-and-off-piece. If you’ve been shopping for Valentine’s Day lingerie and had to call your friend or a sales person into the dressing room to help you get out of something, you will know what I mean.
Here are 11 of those overly complicated pieces of lingerie that will confuse you. If you’re looking up for a challenge this V-day, buy one and see if you and bae can figure out how to get it off.
Topshop Mesh And Lace Bra, Waspie And UnderwearHands up if you've heard of a *waspie?* I hadn't heard of one until I saw this thing. And I don't get why you would wear one with a bra when you could just get a corset. Why separate it into two things — it's not like it looks better. Image source: Topshop
Lipsy Zanna Lace Bralette And UnderwearSo many lines. Just imagine trying to get all of the bands straight. If you think the front is complicated, there is actually some double thong thing going on in the back. Comfortable? I doubt it. Image source: ASOS
Victoria's Secret Chantilly Lace Long Sleeve TeddyThis teddy doesn't have a thousand straps. It has fewer details compared to others on the list, but it has some details that make no sense. What's with the intricate flared sleeves? The majority of my tops are less complicated than this. Pairing it with a thong back just doesn't feel right. Image source: Victoria's Secret
Hauty Luciana Thong BodysuitDid someone lose half of their evening dress? Nope, it's meant to be this way. There is so much detail on this yet it's completely sheer so it would reveal full nipple and vag. Therefore, is there really any point to wearing it at all? Image source: Nordstrom
La Perla Silk Georgette Romper With Lurex EmbroideryIf you're wondering what kind of lingerie rich people wear, this could be one of the pieces. And it has left me very confused. Shorts? Ruffles? Just look at all that boning and trim. I appreciate the craftsmanship that went into this, but can you imagine if someone tried to rip this off you? Forget about the price, you'd be peeved if they ruined the delicate stitching. Image source: La Perla
Pamela Loves Coco de Mer Seductress Bra & Thong SetThere is definitely not a lot here, but what there is confuses me. Seriously, how could something that is so small be so complicated? Just look at the *bra.* I'm scratching my head. Image source: ASOS
For Love & Lemons Florette Applique BodysuitThis bodysuit is already made out of a sheer fabric. Therefore, why would it need cutouts? You can already see through the fabric. That's just extra sewing work for nothing. Image source: Revolve
Tamara Waspie, Bra and UnderwearHere we go, another waspie. And this one is lace...and then it's decorated with this other material. Also, just look at the bra for a second. Image source: Ann Summers
Coco de Mer Persephone Open ThongY'all are on your own for this one because I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it. There's a joke in there somewhere. Ah, I just thought of the chaffing. Ouch. Image source: Coco de Mer
Hauty Two to Tango Strappy BodysuitWhen did people decide that straps were such a great idea on lingerie? If I were a lingerie designer, I would design something that does up with Velcro so that it could be put on and ripped off in two seconds. Who wants to deal with all of those bands when they're about to get it on? Image source: Nordstrom
Glamorous Strappy Lace Bra & Thong Lingerie SetStart trying to count all of the straps. Why are they there? It's definitely not for support. I don't know about you, but I would feel a bit claustrophobic if I wore either piece. I'd be scared I wouldn't be able to get out of them. Image source: ASOS
Would you wear any of the lingerie? Let us know in the comments!
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