6 Signs You Are Subconsciously Trying To Sabotage Your Relationship

Sabotage makes me think about the catty cheerleader in a cliche teen movie or some elaborate plot by a spy to spoil a bad guy’s plan to take over the world. It isn’t exactly something that I would think anyone would do to themselves. But self-sabotage is a very real thing. And it’s something that might be going on in your relationship.

There are many reasons we might engage in a bit of self-sabotage. Maybe, you realize that the relationship you’re in isn’t working out, but you don’t want to break it off. So, on an unconscious level, you might start doing things to cause cracks in your relationship. Or, maybe you’re so focused on something else that you fail to recognize that some of your actions could be sabotaging your relationship.

If you’re aware that you might be doing it, the good news is that you can change. That’s why I want you to take a good hard look at yourself, bae, and whether you actually want to be in this relationship. Before you do that, have a look at six signs that you might be subconsciously trying to sabotage your relationship.


You're Stressed That Bae Is Doing Something Behind Your Back

Sometimes if you are stressing that your SO is doing something, it could be because you realize on some level that bae has been unfaithful. Another option is that you're a bit insecure which can lead you to being paranoid. I know neither situation is the greatest. If you suspect you might be in the latter one, it's hard because if you're being paranoid, your SO might wonder whether it's you who actually has the problem. Then it becomes a vicious cycle.

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You Cannot Forget The Past

Do you have trouble saying sorry? Do you forgive but don't forget? Would you say that you're the type of person that holds grudges? All of these can hurt a relationship because it means that you're automatically keeping people at a distance. Of course, if bae has done something that you cannot forgive, you should ask yourself whether you even want to be in a relationship with him/her anymore.

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You Have To Prove Yourself

Would your friends and family describe you as the type of person who always has to be right? That can be great in some situations, but sometimes it can lead to rifts in relationships. If you find that you cannot back down or that you feel the need to constantly prove yourself, it can actually make bae feel less connected to you. Bae might see you as wanting to be separate rather than a team.

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You're Living In A Fantasy

I know that sometimes living in our heads is a lot more pleasant than reality. The problem is that if you get so into your head, the bae you see in your mind might be very different from the one that's in front of you. That can make you do the wrong thing in situations. If you're in your head all of the time, it means you're not present when you're with bae which can cause bonding issues.

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You Avoid Certain Situations

Be honest: Have you gotten burned in the past so now you're very concerned about rejection? Do you avoid tricky situations where it could arise? If you find yourself falling in love, do you try to convince yourself that you're not? Or, do you try to look for an exit in the situation? If you're avoiding taking your relationship to the next level, expressing your feelings, or avoiding pain, acknowledge it then try to figure out why. Is it because of previous heartbreak or is it because you're just not into bae?

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You're Listening To The Critic In Your Head

That voice in our heads can be the absolute worst. Trust me. Sometimes it can be a motivator, but other times, it can make you paranoid and/or stressed AF. If you find yourself in a thought cyclone where you think you're not good enough for bae or you made some mistake, you will start believing it if you keep thinking it enough. That's why it's important to focus on keeping those negative voices quiet.

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Have you ever considered that you’re sabotaging your relationship? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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