If you have a crush on someone and you find out that he/she likes you back, it’s one of the best feelings in the world. All of your hopes and dreams seem to be coming true. In the best case scenario, you fast forward a few months, and you’re in a relationship, except… things have changed. Namely, your feelings towards bae aren’t the same and you worry that you’re losing interest in him/her.
Does it sound familiar? I know that you might be panicking about what’s going on. You’re probably stressing out about whether it’s you, bae, or a combination of the two. Hold up, girl. I want you to stop and try and take a deep breath. I know that you probably weren’t expecting this. Just know that this isn’t the end of the world. It might be a phase or things might just be evolving differently.
Yeah, there is a possibility that your relationship has run its course. Before you come to that, take some time to see if your mood changes. If your feelings aren’t going away, and you’re getting worried, here’s what to do.
Do Not PanicI know I already said to chill, but I'm going to say it again because it's important. R-E-L-A-X. I get that it might not be easy to do if you're stressing something is wrong with your relationship, but try to keep a clear head and don't blow things out of proportion. There are different reasons you could be feeling this way and it isn't because something is wrong with you. It's also a positive thing that you're recognizing these feelings now rather than later. Image source: Getty
Deduce Whether It's Bae That's The Issue Or Something ElseYou know the line *it's not you, it's me?* Explore whether the change of feelings has to do with bae, or bae's actions, or whether it's coming from your end. It could end up being a combination of you two. That's okay. You're making progress if you can figure out something because then you can look at the bigger picture and decide how to change it, if need be. Image source: Getty
Realize That There Are Different Phases Of A RelationshipIf this is one of your first relationships, or your longest one, you might not realize that relationships have different phases. The phase that everyone talks about is the honeymoon phase where everyone is madly in love and cannot keep their hands off each other. What people sometimes fail to mention is that this doesn't last forever. If you find that your feelings for bae are changing, it could be because you're moving into a different phase of your relationship. You know what? It can actually be a good thing. Different phases allow you to get to know your SO on different levels. Image source: Getty
Try To Pinpoint When You Started Feeling DifferentlyThis might not be possible to do. Even if you have a rough idea, it can help. Try to see whether there is a connection between something you or bae did and your new feelings, or whether this happened after a certain relationship milestone. Did it happen after your six-month anniversary? Did it happen after you and bae started having sex? Did it happen after bae didn't return your call for five days? Deducing things can help lead to clarity. Image source: Getty
Consider Whether Other Things In Your Life Are Impacting Your FeelingsWhen you're going over your relationship history in your brain, don't restrict it to stuff that only relates to you and bae. There could actually be something going on in your life or bae's life that brought on this change. Did someone new come into your life who you might have feelings for? Did you run into your ex or bae's? Did you meet bae's parents and things didn't go well? Image source: Getty
Think Honestly Whether Your Relationship Is Making You HappyGirl, I want you to ask yourself an honest question: Is your relationship actually making you happy? There is no right or wrong answer. If you genuinely feel it is, good for you. You can then figure out how to get things back on track. If you're shaking your head or you're feeling *meh* about the whole situation, the change of feelings could be the signal that it's time to make a change. Image source: Getty
Ask Someone For AdviceHere at Gurl, we try to help you out in any way we can, but sometimes it can also be beneficial to talk to someone who knows you or someone that knows you and bae. If you feel comfortable talking to someone else about the situation, do it. It could be your sister, mom, best friend, super close Facebook friend, cousin, whatever. If you don't feel comfortable talking about your specific situation, you can talk in general about changing feelings in relationships. You could even ask about someone's experiences. Image source: Getty
Consider Talking To Bae About ItIf you've gone through all of the other points on the list and you're still struggling, you might want to consider having a conversation with your SO to ask how he/she is feeling. Maybe he/she has also been feeling disconnected. The conversation can help you two get back to where you were. Just be aware that things could also go the other way and lead to a break or you eventually deciding to call it quits. Image source: Getty
Have you ever been concerned that you’re losing interest in bae? Let us know in the comments!
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