7 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Losing Your Virginity

Deciding when to lose your virginity is a big decision for many people. There are a lot of things to think about, from your emotions to the physical act to the logistics. (It’s well and good if you’ve decided to put the P in the V. Then you have to think about protection and where you’re actually going to do the deed.)

You probably don’t want to have another thing to think about, but I want to draw your attention to some important questions that you should ask yourself. These are the things to consider before you worry about finding a quiet, romantic spot to hook up. They’re actually one of the best places to start your debate about whether you’re ready to lose your virginity.

Before you do the deed, ask yourself these seven questions. And make sure that you answer them honestly.


Am I Actually Ready To Do This?

Be honest. If you're hesitating or you're not giving a confident yes, I humbly suggest that you stop reading this now and come back to it later. If you honestly feel that you're ready, and you're not just putting on some *macho, I'm-a-big-girl* act, then you can keep reading.

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Is Anyone Pressuring Me Into This?

One very important thing to consider is whether this is your decision to lose your virginity or whether it's someone else's. Has bae been nagging you to have sex for awhile so you're doing it to please him/her? Do you feel that you're at a certain age where you *should* be having sex so you figure that you might as well do it? Are friends or even the media impacting your decision? At the end of the day, it's your body so it should be your decision.

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Am I Pressuring Myself Into This?

I know that this might initially seem like a weird one, but it's a valid question. Are you pressuring yourself to do it? You might be influenced from the media or your friends, but it could ultimately be your thoughts that are making you do this. Do you want to do it to prove something of yourself? Do you want to do it so you're seen as more mature? Or, do you want to do it because you love bae and want to explore your relationship on a new level?

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Have I Found The Right Person To Have Sex With?

You might end up having multiple partners, but there will only be one person who will be the first. Have you found someone special enough to qualify? Or, have you found someone who's sufficient enough to do the act, and you're looking for a special person later? Think about your situation and whether you'll feel happy with it one, five, or even 10 years from now.

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Am I Prepared For The Consequences?

Sex is often depicted as being fun, but there can be some negative consequences to doing the deed. Getting a STD or ending up pregnant are of course the biggies. So, would you be prepared for either situation? Are you also prepared with the right stuff (ahem, protection) to hopefully avoid the situations? Are you also prepared for things like if bae starts discussing the hook up with his/her friends, or starts pressuring you to do sexual things you're not ready for?

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Does The Other Person Want To Do This?

Of course this is your decision, but you will also want to consider how your partner is feeling, especially if it's his/her first time. It might be helpful to have an honest, open conversation about the topic when you're not in bed or just finished hooking up. You want to take the hormones and sexy situations out of it so you can have a frank conversation about how you're both feeling.

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Will I Still Feel Comfortable With My Decision Even If Things Don't Work Out With Bae?

I know this is something that nobody wants to think about, but it is something to have in the back of your mind. How would you feel if you lost your virginity to bae and you broke up later? Would you be okay if your relationship becomes only about sex? Would you be okay if bae cheats on you or tells his/her friends about your steamy session? I know these are some horrible things that you don't want to happen. I also know that you might think one thing now and if they ever do happen, things might be very different. That being said, it can still be helpful to have a look at the big picture and all options.

Image source: Getty

Why do you think you’re ready to lose your virginity now? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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